Thought I'd spice up Sup Forums with a story of my childhood. Let's begin

thought I'd spice up Sup Forums with a story of my childhood. Let's begin.

>The setting: your classic shitty American middle school
>8th Grade
>No real friends but do theatre so I many fake friends
>There are many different breeds of fags at my school
>You got the jocks, the low lifes, blacks, asians, and me
>I don't fit into any of them
>In problem solving
>Basically if math and everything AIDS had a child
>alone in the back
>there's this girl I like, lets call her Ashley
>Jock starts to talk to her
>Don't really care because no one likes him
>Fag sneezed all over a teacher 6th grade
>Snot everywhere
>He used basketball to fill the void
>Let's call him Brandon
>Over the next few days, see them getting closer and closer
>there's a huge ass cheating ring in the class because the teacher is a tard
>see them starting passing notes under the table
>they touch hands
>this must stop
>Notice that I accidentally broke my pencil
>Idea.jpg
>hail mary a piece of my broken pencil towards Brandon
>lands right in his greasy hair
>freaks the fuck out
>divineintervention.webm
>smile in pleasure
>Ashley doesnt talk to him
>I have found my purpose
>I am… the American Sniper
Cont?

Continue

>In English
>I went out and bought many and many boxes of pencils
>I am starting to realize my role
>I am a force of nature
>I am a vigilante
>I am…
>The American Sniper
>Although I have sniped many a fag
>Brandon is my favorite
>Locker room
>find my perch
>fire
>sharpened end of pencil so its turbo sharp
>lands in his shoulder
>cut
>smile
>continue getting dressed
>crying fag noises
>my role is complete
>but my adventure is not yet over
>I have many objectives
>1. Take out out anyone who stands in my way to victory over the school
>2. Torture Brandon
>3. Bunk with Ashley
>4. Ascend to popularity godhood
>I am...
>the American Sniper

cont?

cont

Yes

>I start with objective one
>I have individual people whom I must “take out”
>I start with the student body president
>bullied me in elementary school
>lets name them Josh
>total stoner, and in his campaign just promised recess and snacks and shit
>he doesn't deserve the role
>he must feel my wrath
>he will be my first target
>we have math and civics together
>civics
>we are working on a project where we have to hide our poster from the other groups, while “spies” try to find out what it is
>I work alone
>I work for only me
>he has a group of 4 “nerdy” girls who basically get on their knees for him
>I will distract the girls somehow
>get josh alone
>and pull the trigger
>spend almost a week and a half plotting what I shall do
>I have an idea
>find out they all go out to the bathroom at the same time
>Lunch
>bought them a butt fuck ton of waters and gatorades
>they drink it up
>”Oh thanks user you're too nice hehe~”
>”I do not want your shitty admirement” I say under my breath
>they seem like their going to explode just before lunch ends
>go to the bathroom together when they get back to the class
>josh is alone
>defenceless
>feeble
>I find my perch, behind some bookstacks and cover myself with a carpet from the floor
>disgusting but it is what needs to happen
>sharpened pencil with a knife
>launch
>miss…
>josh is startled
>Looks around
>completely oblivious
>proballyhigh.jpg
>once more I shall unload my god smiting pencil onto his body
>pull the trigger
>right
>in
>the
>back
>of
>his
>head

somebody screen cap this if it goes good

> cut
Yeah, bullshit story
Fuck off, autismo.

>josh had to get stitches
>wasn't caught because I had 100 sneak
>target one is out
>second target’s assassination is postponed to help fix my relationship with Ashley
>She got spooked because she was getting the hots for Josh
>thinks that everyone will get the pencil
>friday night, call her and just talk to her
>”user I’m just really scared…”
>”Well Ashley I think you’re just being superstitious”
>”user… If you know the person doing this, just tell them to not hurt me… or you”
>mfw
>”I don't know them, but I think they'll leave you alone, Ashley”
>” just promise you won't do anything stupid, OK?”
>she hung up
>I am.. The American Sniper

>I am not only the American Sniper..
>I am the American Watchdog
>I guard Ashley with my life.
>forever vigilant
>Hear the occasional “lookin’ good Ashley” and “Heyyy whats going on wanna go out?”
>that bullshit
>I ignore
>But then was Mike
>Mike was a football fag kinda guy
>Laughs like Seth Rogan
>Actually kinda nice, helps the community
>was actually nice to me before
>having a crisis
>do I put down the pencil, my name, and return to my life as a lowlife fag.
>or do I double down and claim my spot in the social hierarchy of my school?
>I sit in my chair in my room and think…
>It is even worth it?
>It is worth risking a relationship with the funniest, nicest, and prettiest girl at school
>So I can be the cool guy for once? So I can feel gratication for the first time in my life?
>Mike may be nice but he is a threat
>Look around my room
>then I see it
>K’Nex
>toys with magnets inside them
>with metal balls to connect them
>My arsenal must be upgraded to take out this
>This…
>Thing
>blocking my path to greatness
>I have turned into a new man
>I have turned into the very man I wish to take out
>Ashley is mine
>I have convinced myself this is a good thing
>I am…
>The American Sniper

that's fucking amazing

cuntinue

keep going...

>School has an assembly about field trips, bullying, and all that classic crap
>Ashley is in the upper corner
>Walk by
>”Oh hey Ashley!”
>”Heya user~!”
>”What's new?”
>”You know, same old stuff… Hey have you seen Mike?” Ashley asks
>and smiles
>that smile
>My face visibly changes
>”Um… No…”
>Mike is in the other side of the gym
>I walk away
>”user? Where are you going? Are you ok?”
>”Don’t worry about it…”
>Search for a vantage point
>Pillars hold up the seating
>Hop down to the area
>clear shot on Mike
>tears in my eyes
>”this is for you Ashley”
>My metal ball in my hand…
>”I love you…”
>Launch
>Direct hit
>Square in his head
>Singular tear sneaks its way down my cheek
>Gun it down the hall to the bathroom
>Jump into stall
>School is going insane
>Teachers storming all the bathrooms, halls, everywhere
>”WHO IS IN HERE”
>”I’m uhm… Going to the bathroom”
>My balls are in my mouth
>Literally
>I put the metal balls in my mouth
>Nothing must jeopardize this mission
>”Fine…”
>They leave
>I cry until last period
>leave
>get a glance at Ashley before going onto the bus
>She looks like she has been through hell
>Mike is gone
>what have I become..
>I have become…
>The American Sniper…

>Ashley calls me the day after the assembly
>I almost don't answer
>”Uhm Ashley… Wh-whats up”
>”user… I am so”
>She just starts crying
>”user I’m so scared”
>”Ashley, I know it's scary, but it's all going to end…”
>I know damn well it will not end
>”user, are you… Single?” she says between sniffs
>”Uhm… Yea”
>”I really like you user”
>Spaghetti everywhere
>”user, would you want to, like, go out sometime?”
>I start mumbling anything that comes to mind
>A tear falls down my face
>”I… I… I’d”
>I hang up
>I cry for the entire weekend
>I must not be the only one
>I am…
>The American Sniper

this is probably the only greentext thread in a LONG time I was actually interested in

please tell us more. please let there be more.

Moar

HOW WILL THIS TRAGIC LOVE STORY END?

>My final two targets…
>Brandon… I must finish my objectives
>And an exchange student named Joseph
>Seriously no one knows where he is from...
>his accent is southern American, Dutch, and German all mixed into one kid
>Brandon and him start talking
>They talk about Xbox, and all that shite
>they become good friends
>I must insert my dominance one final time before asking Ashley out
>I am set on marrying her
>She is my everything
>Joseph is just a regular kid, chill, relaxed, actually pretty cool.
>Ashley and him talk
>he is your classic cool guy
>this must stop
>but I fear just one more push and Ashley will crumble
>School is getting teachers everywhere to look out for this “assaulter”
>I am the American Sniper…
>Joseph has those edgy nerd glasses glasses with the reflectors on them
>Ray Bans or some shit
>This will be my most daring assassination yet

kick his fucking ass user

...

pic is user

>I combine my two weapons
>metal balls
>sharpened broken pencil
>I take out Joseph… Brandon crumbles… Ashley Crumbles, and she will be mine
>I have health with Joseph and Brandon together.
>our only class together
>small classroom, even smaller chairs
>nowhere to hide.
>Brandons mental state is so close to collapsing that even just him dropping his pencil is make him have a mental breakdown
>there is a cabinet with a fake skeleton in it
>My only chance
>Joseph and Brandon are chatting it up in the back of the class
>I have them flanked
>teacher has not arrived yet
>I fake sharpening my pencil…
>and step in…
>I smile
>I will have Ashley for my wife… Forever…
>I open up the cabinet just a tad
>I can see his red hair
>A clear bullseye target
>I breathe in
>Hey Joseph? Did we have homework in Civics?”
>he quickly turns his head
>towards me
>oh god
>before I can realize it, my projectile is going straight to his face
>Lands
>Right in the face
>metal ball flies off and hits him in the eye
>flies back in his chair
>I will never forget his scream…
>forever repeating in my ear.
>blood everywhere
>teacher walked in right as I threw it
>I am… the American Sniper…

CONTINUE RIGHT NOW OP

MOAR

holy fucking shit

>In the principal's office
>Parents, officers, principal, Josh, Mike, Brandon and Joseph are all there.
>Ashley is also there
>”user we have traced back these young boys injuries to you…”
>”Yes…”
>”user we will be charging you as an adult, these boys has been attacked and their injuries are extremely severe”
>I look down.
>“As you may or may not know, user, Joseph has lost all sight in his eye. It was so badly damaged that the doctors had to remove it”.
>Joseph cries with his only good eye
>”I just to protect my girlfriend, my friends, and my family.”
>”Who would ever date YOU Joseph?” I scream at him
>”user!”
>“Ashley..”
>Oh My God…
>Ashley just looks at me
>Her eyes… The first thing I noticed when I first looked at her.. All the way back in 1st grade
>They are broken… So broken
>Joseph has taken away my only happiness
>My heart sinks
>I have thrown my life away
>for this girl
>and it all failed
>Everything…
>A single tear rolls down my cheek once again
>”user, you have the right to remain silent.
>The officer gets his cuffs out and walks over to me
>”any last comments, user?”
>I breathe in…
>IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON EYE JOE
>ID BEEN MARRIED A LONG TIME AGO
>WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHERE DID YOU GO
>WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, COTTON EYE JOE
I am… the American Sniper...

Fuck

That better not be it

poor execution

I thought this would have a good ending.

nah seriously, how did it end? what were your last comments? did you ever meet Ashley again? what happened?

...

The bait!!!

It was fake retard

Hahaaa I fucking lost it!

Don't even put me in the screencap if there is one. This was total garbage

used a puppet of a plot with Ashley, while the writing silently made a sweeping under plot to set up the punchline..

OP is huge faggot

agreed

We already had a greentext with that 'punchline.' It was just as shit.

Hey fuckhead, Did you know that sharp objects can CUT? I KNOW RIGHT? It sounds so FUCKIN' CRAZY!

ever heard of a joke? obviously I'm not serious about "using a puppet of a plot"..

YOU FUCKING CUNT. You even had me interested.