thought I'd spice up Sup Forums with a story of my childhood. Let's begin.
>The setting: your classic shitty American middle school >8th Grade >No real friends but do theatre so I many fake friends >There are many different breeds of fags at my school >You got the jocks, the low lifes, blacks, asians, and me >I don't fit into any of them >In problem solving >Basically if math and everything AIDS had a child >alone in the back >there's this girl I like, lets call her Ashley >Jock starts to talk to her >Don't really care because no one likes him >Fag sneezed all over a teacher 6th grade >Snot everywhere >He used basketball to fill the void >Let's call him Brandon >Over the next few days, see them getting closer and closer >there's a huge ass cheating ring in the class because the teacher is a tard >see them starting passing notes under the table >they touch hands >this must stop >Notice that I accidentally broke my pencil >Idea.jpg >hail mary a piece of my broken pencil towards Brandon >lands right in his greasy hair >freaks the fuck out >divineintervention.webm >smile in pleasure >Ashley doesnt talk to him >I have found my purpose >I am… the American Sniper Cont?
Austin Evans
Continue
Ryder Ward
>In English >I went out and bought many and many boxes of pencils >I am starting to realize my role >I am a force of nature >I am a vigilante >I am… >The American Sniper >Although I have sniped many a fag >Brandon is my favorite >Locker room >find my perch >fire >sharpened end of pencil so its turbo sharp >lands in his shoulder >cut >smile >continue getting dressed >crying fag noises >my role is complete >but my adventure is not yet over >I have many objectives >1. Take out out anyone who stands in my way to victory over the school >2. Torture Brandon >3. Bunk with Ashley >4. Ascend to popularity godhood >I am... >the American Sniper
Carson Watson
cont?
Christopher Hughes
cont
Christian Sanchez
Yes
Elijah Clark
>I start with objective one >I have individual people whom I must “take out” >I start with the student body president >bullied me in elementary school >lets name them Josh >total stoner, and in his campaign just promised recess and snacks and shit >he doesn't deserve the role >he must feel my wrath >he will be my first target >we have math and civics together >civics >we are working on a project where we have to hide our poster from the other groups, while “spies” try to find out what it is >I work alone >I work for only me >he has a group of 4 “nerdy” girls who basically get on their knees for him >I will distract the girls somehow >get josh alone >and pull the trigger >spend almost a week and a half plotting what I shall do >I have an idea >find out they all go out to the bathroom at the same time >Lunch >bought them a butt fuck ton of waters and gatorades >they drink it up >”Oh thanks user you're too nice hehe~” >”I do not want your shitty admirement” I say under my breath >they seem like their going to explode just before lunch ends >go to the bathroom together when they get back to the class >josh is alone >defenceless >feeble >I find my perch, behind some bookstacks and cover myself with a carpet from the floor >disgusting but it is what needs to happen >sharpened pencil with a knife >launch >miss… >josh is startled >Looks around >completely oblivious >proballyhigh.jpg >once more I shall unload my god smiting pencil onto his body >pull the trigger >right >in >the >back >of >his >head
Henry Cruz
somebody screen cap this if it goes good
Kevin Nelson
> cut Yeah, bullshit story Fuck off, autismo.
Eli Anderson
>josh had to get stitches >wasn't caught because I had 100 sneak >target one is out >second target’s assassination is postponed to help fix my relationship with Ashley >She got spooked because she was getting the hots for Josh >thinks that everyone will get the pencil >friday night, call her and just talk to her >”user I’m just really scared…” >”Well Ashley I think you’re just being superstitious” >”user… If you know the person doing this, just tell them to not hurt me… or you” >mfw >”I don't know them, but I think they'll leave you alone, Ashley” >” just promise you won't do anything stupid, OK?” >she hung up >I am.. The American Sniper
Evan Cook
>I am not only the American Sniper.. >I am the American Watchdog >I guard Ashley with my life. >forever vigilant >Hear the occasional “lookin’ good Ashley” and “Heyyy whats going on wanna go out?” >that bullshit >I ignore >But then was Mike >Mike was a football fag kinda guy >Laughs like Seth Rogan >Actually kinda nice, helps the community >was actually nice to me before >having a crisis >do I put down the pencil, my name, and return to my life as a lowlife fag. >or do I double down and claim my spot in the social hierarchy of my school? >I sit in my chair in my room and think… >It is even worth it? >It is worth risking a relationship with the funniest, nicest, and prettiest girl at school >So I can be the cool guy for once? So I can feel gratication for the first time in my life? >Mike may be nice but he is a threat >Look around my room >then I see it >K’Nex >toys with magnets inside them >with metal balls to connect them >My arsenal must be upgraded to take out this >This… >Thing >blocking my path to greatness >I have turned into a new man >I have turned into the very man I wish to take out >Ashley is mine >I have convinced myself this is a good thing >I am… >The American Sniper
Jose Sanders
that's fucking amazing
Zachary Carter
cuntinue
Michael Thomas
keep going...
Brandon Carter
>School has an assembly about field trips, bullying, and all that classic crap >Ashley is in the upper corner >Walk by >”Oh hey Ashley!” >”Heya user~!” >”What's new?” >”You know, same old stuff… Hey have you seen Mike?” Ashley asks >and smiles >that smile >My face visibly changes >”Um… No…” >Mike is in the other side of the gym >I walk away >”user? Where are you going? Are you ok?” >”Don’t worry about it…” >Search for a vantage point >Pillars hold up the seating >Hop down to the area >clear shot on Mike >tears in my eyes >”this is for you Ashley” >My metal ball in my hand… >”I love you…” >Launch >Direct hit >Square in his head >Singular tear sneaks its way down my cheek >Gun it down the hall to the bathroom >Jump into stall >School is going insane >Teachers storming all the bathrooms, halls, everywhere >”WHO IS IN HERE” >”I’m uhm… Going to the bathroom” >My balls are in my mouth >Literally >I put the metal balls in my mouth >Nothing must jeopardize this mission >”Fine…” >They leave >I cry until last period >leave >get a glance at Ashley before going onto the bus >She looks like she has been through hell >Mike is gone >what have I become.. >I have become… >The American Sniper…
Brandon Adams
>Ashley calls me the day after the assembly >I almost don't answer >”Uhm Ashley… Wh-whats up” >”user… I am so” >She just starts crying >”user I’m so scared” >”Ashley, I know it's scary, but it's all going to end…” >I know damn well it will not end >”user, are you… Single?” she says between sniffs >”Uhm… Yea” >”I really like you user” >Spaghetti everywhere >”user, would you want to, like, go out sometime?” >I start mumbling anything that comes to mind >A tear falls down my face >”I… I… I’d” >I hang up >I cry for the entire weekend >I must not be the only one >I am… >The American Sniper
Kayden Nguyen
this is probably the only greentext thread in a LONG time I was actually interested in
Juan Carter
please tell us more. please let there be more.
Jackson Scott
Moar
Sebastian Mitchell
HOW WILL THIS TRAGIC LOVE STORY END?
James Gray
>My final two targets… >Brandon… I must finish my objectives >And an exchange student named Joseph >Seriously no one knows where he is from... >his accent is southern American, Dutch, and German all mixed into one kid >Brandon and him start talking >They talk about Xbox, and all that shite >they become good friends >I must insert my dominance one final time before asking Ashley out >I am set on marrying her >She is my everything >Joseph is just a regular kid, chill, relaxed, actually pretty cool. >Ashley and him talk >he is your classic cool guy >this must stop >but I fear just one more push and Ashley will crumble >School is getting teachers everywhere to look out for this “assaulter” >I am the American Sniper… >Joseph has those edgy nerd glasses glasses with the reflectors on them >Ray Bans or some shit >This will be my most daring assassination yet
Jaxon Clark
kick his fucking ass user
Brody Gray
...
Landon Stewart
pic is user
Christopher Edwards
>I combine my two weapons >metal balls >sharpened broken pencil >I take out Joseph… Brandon crumbles… Ashley Crumbles, and she will be mine >I have health with Joseph and Brandon together. >our only class together >small classroom, even smaller chairs >nowhere to hide. >Brandons mental state is so close to collapsing that even just him dropping his pencil is make him have a mental breakdown >there is a cabinet with a fake skeleton in it >My only chance >Joseph and Brandon are chatting it up in the back of the class >I have them flanked >teacher has not arrived yet >I fake sharpening my pencil… >and step in… >I smile >I will have Ashley for my wife… Forever… >I open up the cabinet just a tad >I can see his red hair >A clear bullseye target >I breathe in >Hey Joseph? Did we have homework in Civics?” >he quickly turns his head >towards me >oh god >before I can realize it, my projectile is going straight to his face >Lands >Right in the face >metal ball flies off and hits him in the eye >flies back in his chair >I will never forget his scream… >forever repeating in my ear. >blood everywhere >teacher walked in right as I threw it >I am… the American Sniper…
Zachary Carter
CONTINUE RIGHT NOW OP
Luke Allen
MOAR
Camden Ramirez
holy fucking shit
Carson Parker
>In the principal's office >Parents, officers, principal, Josh, Mike, Brandon and Joseph are all there. >Ashley is also there >”user we have traced back these young boys injuries to you…” >”Yes…” >”user we will be charging you as an adult, these boys has been attacked and their injuries are extremely severe” >I look down. >“As you may or may not know, user, Joseph has lost all sight in his eye. It was so badly damaged that the doctors had to remove it”. >Joseph cries with his only good eye >”I just to protect my girlfriend, my friends, and my family.” >”Who would ever date YOU Joseph?” I scream at him >”user!” >“Ashley..” >Oh My God… >Ashley just looks at me >Her eyes… The first thing I noticed when I first looked at her.. All the way back in 1st grade >They are broken… So broken >Joseph has taken away my only happiness >My heart sinks >I have thrown my life away >for this girl >and it all failed >Everything… >A single tear rolls down my cheek once again >”user, you have the right to remain silent. >The officer gets his cuffs out and walks over to me >”any last comments, user?” >I breathe in… >IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON EYE JOE >ID BEEN MARRIED A LONG TIME AGO >WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHERE DID YOU GO >WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, COTTON EYE JOE I am… the American Sniper...
Easton Adams
Fuck
Samuel Torres
That better not be it
Ian James
poor execution
Ayden Walker
I thought this would have a good ending.
Owen James
nah seriously, how did it end? what were your last comments? did you ever meet Ashley again? what happened?
Thomas Price
...
Wyatt Ward
The bait!!!
Christopher Gray
It was fake retard
Gavin Edwards
Hahaaa I fucking lost it!
Zachary White
Don't even put me in the screencap if there is one. This was total garbage
Tyler Wood
used a puppet of a plot with Ashley, while the writing silently made a sweeping under plot to set up the punchline..
Ryder Kelly
OP is huge faggot
Connor Hughes
agreed
Elijah Campbell
We already had a greentext with that 'punchline.' It was just as shit.
Cooper Reed
Hey fuckhead, Did you know that sharp objects can CUT? I KNOW RIGHT? It sounds so FUCKIN' CRAZY!
Carson White
ever heard of a joke? obviously I'm not serious about "using a puppet of a plot"..