Sup Forums needs some nice seasoning. how bout a tale from long long ago.
>The setting: your classic shitty American middle school >8th Grade >No real friends but do theatre so I many fake friends >There are many different breeds of fags at my school >You got the jocks, the low lifes, blacks, asians, and me >I don't fit into any of them >In problem solving >Basically if math and everything AIDS had a child >alone in the back >there's this girl I like, lets call her Ashley >Jock starts to talk to her >Don't really care because no one likes him >Fag sneezed all over a teacher 6th grade >Snot everywhere >He used basketball to fill the void >Let's call him Brandon >Over the next few days, see them getting closer and closer >there's a huge ass cheating ring in the class because the teacher is a tard >see them starting passing notes under the table >they touch hands >this must stop >Notice that I accidentally broke my pencil >Idea.jpg >hail mary a piece of my broken pencil towards Brandon >lands right in his greasy hair >freaks the fuck out >divineintervention.webm >smile in pleasure >Ashley doesnt talk to him >I have found my purpose >I am… the American Sniper
Cont?
Sebastian Harris
bump
Josiah Campbell
I R VEYRI PR0UD OFF U ADN U R LIEK DA MAN IN DA MOOIVE W/ DA BEARD :D
Carson Anderson
what?
Jacob Allen
>In English >I went out and bought many and many boxes of pencils >I am starting to realize my role >I am a force of nature >I am a vigilante >I am… >The American Sniper >Although I have sniped many a fag >Brandon is my favorite >Locker room >find my perch >fire >sharpened end of pencil so its turbo sharp >lands in his shoulder >cut >smile >continue getting dressed >crying fag noises >my role is complete >but my adventure is not yet over >I have many objectives >1. Take out out anyone who stands in my way to victory over the school >2. Torture Brandon >3. Bunk with Ashley >4. Ascend to popularity godhood >I am... >the American Sniper
Cameron Foster
cont?
Austin Clark
>I start with objective one >I have individual people whom I must “take out” >I start with the student body president >bullied me in elementary school >lets name them Josh >total stoner, and in his campaign just promised recess and snacks and shit >he doesn't deserve the role >he must feel my wrath >he will be my first target >we have math and civics together >civics >we are working on a project where we have to hide our poster from the other groups, while “spies” try to find out what it is >I work alone >I work for only me >he has a group of 4 “nerdy” girls who basically get on their knees for him >I will distract the girls somehow >get josh alone >and pull the trigger >spend almost a week and a half plotting what I shall do >I have an idea >find out they all go out to the bathroom at the same time >Lunch >bought them a butt fuck ton of waters and gatorades >they drink it up >”Oh thanks user you're too nice hehe~” >”I do not want your shitty admirement” I say under my breath >they seem like their going to explode just before lunch ends >go to the bathroom together when they get back to the class >josh is alone >defenceless >feeble >I find my perch, behind some bookstacks and cover myself with a carpet from the floor >disgusting but it is what needs to happen >sharpened pencil with a knife >launch >miss… >josh is startled >Looks around >completely oblivious >proballyhigh.jpg >once more I shall unload my god smiting pencil onto his body >pull the trigger >right >in >the >back >of >his >head
Hunter Bell
>josh had to get stitches >wasn't caught because I had 100 sneak >target one is out >second target’s assassination is postponed to help fix my relationship with Ashley >She got spooked because she was getting the hots for Josh >thinks that everyone will get the pencil >friday night, call her and just talk to her >”user I’m just really scared…” >”Well Ashley I think you’re just being superstitious” >”user… If you know the person doing this, just tell them to not hurt me… or you” >mfw >”I don't know them, but I think they'll leave you alone, Ashley” >” just promise you won't do anything stupid, OK?” >she hung up >I am.. The American Sniper
Mason Perez
>I am not only the American Sniper.. >I am the American Watchdog >I guard Ashley with my life. >forever vigilant >Hear the occasional “lookin’ good Ashley” and “Heyyy whats going on wanna go out?” >that bullshit >I ignore >But then was Mike >Mike was a football fag kinda guy >Laughs like Seth Rogan >Actually kinda nice, helps the community >was actually nice to me before >having a crisis >do I put down the pencil, my name, and return to my life as a lowlife fag. >or do I double down and claim my spot in the social hierarchy of my school? >I sit in my chair in my room and think… >It is even worth it? >It is worth risking a relationship with the funniest, nicest, and prettiest girl at school >So I can be the cool guy for once? So I can feel gratication for the first time in my life? >Mike may be nice but he is a threat >Look around my room >then I see it >K’Nex >toys with magnets inside them >with metal balls to connect them >My arsenal must be upgraded to take out this >This… >Thing >blocking my path to greatness >I have turned into a new man >I have turned into the very man I wish to take out >Ashley is mine >I have convinced myself this is a good thing >I am… >The American Sniper
Camden Brooks
>School has an assembly about field trips, bullying, and all that classic crap >Ashley is in the upper corner >Walk by >”Oh hey Ashley!” >”Heya user~!” >”What's new?” >”You know, same old stuff… Hey have you seen Mike?” Ashley asks >and smiles >that smile >My face visibly changes >”Um… No…” >Mike is in the other side of the gym >I walk away >”user? Where are you going? Are you ok?” >”Don’t worry about it…” >Search for a vantage point >Pillars hold up the seating >Hop down to the area >clear shot on Mike >tears in my eyes >”this is for you Ashley” >My metal ball in my hand… >”I love you…” >Launch >Direct hit >Square in his head >Singular tear sneaks its way down my cheek >Gun it down the hall to the bathroom >Jump into stall >School is going insane >Teachers storming all the bathrooms, halls, everywhere >”WHO IS IN HERE” >”I’m uhm… Going to the bathroom” >My balls are in my mouth >Literally >I put the metal balls in my mouth >Nothing must jeopardize this mission >”Fine…” >They leave >I cry until last period >leave >get a glance at Ashley before going onto the bus >She looks like she has been through hell >Mike is gone >what have I become.. >I have become… >The American Sniper…
Brayden Williams
>Ashley calls me the day after the assembly >I almost don't answer >”Uhm Ashley… Wh-whats up” >”user… I am so” >She just starts crying >”user I’m so scared” >”Ashley, I know it's scary, but it's all going to end…” >I know damn well it will not end >”user, are you… Single?” she says between sniffs >”Uhm… Yea” >”I really like you user” >Spaghetti everywhere >”user, would you want to, like, go out sometime?” >I start mumbling anything that comes to mind >A tear falls down my face >”I… I… I’d” >I hang up >I cry for the entire weekend >I must not be the only one >I am… >The American Sniper
Matthew Ortiz
>My final two targets… >Brandon… I must finish my objectives >And an exchange student named Joseph >Seriously no one knows where he is from... >his accent is southern American, Dutch, and German all mixed into one kid >Brandon and him start talking >They talk about Xbox, and all that shite >they become good friends >I must insert my dominance one final time before asking Ashley out >I am set on marrying her >She is my everything >Joseph is just a regular kid, chill, relaxed, actually pretty cool. >Ashley and him talk >he is your classic cool guy >this must stop >but I fear just one more push and Ashley will crumble >School is getting teachers everywhere to look out for this “assaulter” >I am the American Sniper… >Joseph has those edgy nerd glasses glasses with the reflectors on them >Ray Bans or some shit >This will be my most daring assassination yet
Ian Gutierrez
>I combine my two weapons >metal balls >sharpened broken pencil >I take out Joseph… Brandon crumbles… Ashley Crumbles, and she will be mine >I have health with Joseph and Brandon together. >our only class together >small classroom, even smaller chairs >nowhere to hide. >Brandons mental state is so close to collapsing that even just him dropping his pencil is make him have a mental breakdown >there is a cabinet with a fake skeleton in it >My only chance >Joseph and Brandon are chatting it up in the back of the class >I have them flanked >teacher has not arrived yet >I fake sharpening my pencil… >and step in… >I smile >I will have Ashley for my wife… Forever… >I open up the cabinet just a tad >I can see his red hair >A clear bullseye target >I breathe in >Hey Joseph? Did we have homework in Civics?” >he quickly turns his head >towards me >oh god >before I can realize it, my projectile is going straight to his face >Lands >Right in the face >metal ball flies off and hits him in the eye >flies back in his chair >I will never forget his scream… >forever repeating in my ear. >blood everywhere >teacher walked in right as I threw it >I am… the American Sniper…
James Perez
>In the principal's office >Parents, officers, principal, Josh, Mike, Brandon and Joseph are all there. >Ashley is also there >”user we have traced back these young boys injuries to you…” >”Yes…” >”user we will be charging you as an adult, these boys has been attacked and their injuries are extremely severe” >I look down. >“As you may or may not know, user, Joseph has lost all sight in his eye. It was so badly damaged that the doctors had to remove it”. >Joseph cries with his only good eye >”I just to protect my girlfriend, my friends, and my family.” >”Who would ever date YOU Joseph?” I scream at him >”user!” >“Ashley..” >Oh My God… >Ashley just looks at me >Her eyes… The first thing I noticed when I first looked at her.. All the way back in 1st grade >They are broken… So broken >Joseph has taken away my only happiness >My heart sinks >I have thrown my life away >for this girl >and it all failed >Everything… >A single tear rolls down my cheek once again >”user, you have the right to remain silent. >The officer gets his cuffs out and walks over to me >”any last comments, user?” >I breathe in… >IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON EYE JOE >ID BEEN MARRIED A LONG TIME AGO >WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHERE DID YOU GO >WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, COTTON EYE JOE I am… the American Sniper...
Easton Lee
thus concludes the ye olde story of user
Brandon Brown
WOW U R VEREY PAYTRIAUTICS MAI FRAND U CONTANU 2 AMAZEZ ME! MAI PROOD WAS LI3K DIS [[[[[[]]]]]] NAOW IT R LIEK DIZ [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] :D
Jack Lee
thanks Sup Forumsro
Jose Flores
;-; i crai muhc i evanz crieded lesser w3hn i finisheded st3r warz ravinz of da sick in the head adn dat moivee wuz 66/10 u raymind mei of anakin nowalker i hope ashl3y reelize haow luckeh seh wus ;-; unlike unfaithfulBITCH amidala 67/10