Wake up in hospital from a car accident

>wake up in hospital from a car accident
>see this

What do you do Sup Forums?

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Hit the nurse call button, ask for dilaudid and a computer so i can shitpost on Sup Forums high off my gourd.

This is my life now.

?

what else? Run screaming down the hall asking for mommy to make you tendies, while IV and monitors clatter down the hall behind you?

noose myself.

>be very depressed
> commit life to research so that I have a purpose
>murder hobos to remove frustration
>die in police shootout just months before solving sustainable nuclear fusion

I would kill myself as soon as I am able to get released from hospital.

... you're picky about what brand of hydromorphone you get?

>nurse tells you "Sorry we only have Laudicon."

This is the correct answer

...

it's just a little colostomy bag.. what's the big deal?

You're going to stink of shit 24/7 and wake up in the night from leaks.

you have one?

dont usually get an ileostomy from being in a car wreck, but crohns will do that to you, RL ileostomy patient here, my colon was poisoning me so they cut it out, shitting in a bag, never getting laid and playing video games for me it is.

Can you claim disability bux for this?

make sure you keep notes

sounds like you have shitty products my man, i get mine from coloplast and they are reliable as shit (just realised this is a poor choice of words lel), but for realsies, never had leaks since i switched

nope, UK government tries its hardest to kick you off benefits unless you are literally dying, you get a medical exemption card that means free prescriptions though.

doesn't matter, that user was right
>ex had a bag
also the bathroom is a perpetual warzone

No I was reading on another board about someone experiencing life with one.

>I'm just so sick of having to abruptly wake up out of a 3 hour deep sleep to dirty sheets covered in shit. I'm just so sick of having to force myself to grab my supplies, cut a hole in one of my bags, clean myself and my bed. This is the first time in a long time I just sat on the toilet and cried from pure rage and hopelessness built up from having to go through this for 20 years, knowing it won't get better until I die. I just can't believe my own mother did this to me. I don't hate people, but her; there are no words to describe my feelings for her.

this looks like a loop, what you got fam?

call my ex and tell her I'm even better at being disabled than she is

So you are able to cope with this thing for life?

I would just fucking kill myself.

Bro of mine w/ IBD is still trying to avoid the ileo via radical diet to avoid his triggers, which is practically everything raw veggies/fruit, most meat, anything fried, all dairy, nuts and seeds, all cereal grains...

I dunno if he'd be better or worse off with the ileo...

=(

I got disability for depression and anxiety. You need to try harder. Claim it is affecting your mental state and prevents you from going out.

>Natural Selection

NO YOU FUCKING WOULDNT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! YOU NIGGERS TALK TOUGH BUT YOU ARE ALL TO FUCKING SCARED!

damn that's heavy

>"TOO SCARED"
fixed that for you.

id kill a room full of orphans for my colon back, but other than that im resigned to it, you surprise yourself with what you can live with tbh. if you saw me in the street you'd probably have no idea Im wearing a bag, sounds like some other anons have gotten a crappy deal out of things though.

going to the loo just means opening a little vent in the bag, and the bag itself requires changing every couple of days or so but it takes like 10 mins tops and since i found a good supplier i havent really had any issues with it.

I'm 21, a kissless virgin, and a turbo-aspie.

Yes I would.

Unless you were born with this, I don't know how anyone could continue living with one of these permanently on you. How do people even do it? I mean I play video games all day so I guess this wouldn't be too big a deal with the right diet but I would get frustrated changing it every day.

go race lawnmowers

I wear an insulin pump. Not nearly as bad as this, but I will kill myself after my parents die.

>they are reliable as shit

No matter what these fags say I have respect for you user. I know that shit can't be easy.

This wasn't meant to be a pun.

You're a strong guy and I'm still a 28yo virgin with no health issues.

he might haev a better quality of life with it. before i had mine i was basically shitting blood 20 times a day and laying in bed with stomach cramps between going to the loo, alternatively i would shit and puke at the same time for variety.

my fam, in addition to the crohns, i get enteropathic arthritis which means some days i cant even fucking walk, i get some kind of related hearing loss every so often that only steroids seem to be able to hold off, and because ive been necking steroids off and on for the last 2 years it uncovered the fact i had latent type 1 diabetes. ive claimed depression and see a therapist every tuesday

the job center still think im perfectly 100% healthy and basically accused me of lying when i tried to explain my symptoms, welcome to fucking great britain.

34 turbo aspie here with an ileostomy, thought id probably kill myself too, but turns out i actually just manned up and dealt with things

I'd ask the doctors to euthanize me straight away

i know, i triggered myself even.

i did wake like this after a drunk driver hit me head on, i were really upset initially its 2 years now

Fpbp

it cant be so bad can it bro? im the ileostomy dude here and ive got type 1 too, but i dont wear a pump, just shoot up my insulin with a pen. thought about offing myself when my parents were dead too but honestly, wont you just fucking miss the video games?

>be me
>speeding 84mph on Interstate 80/90
>rear tire blow out
>lose control, go into medium and do series of cartwheeling flips
>be ejected
>induced coma for three months
>head injury, swollen noggin
>orbital bone, eye injury
>several broken ribs
>bilateral/punctured pneumothorax
>torn aorta, at aortic isthmus (common steering wheel injury)
>injured: liver, gall bladder, perforated stomach, ruptured intensitine
>left knee dislocation
>several puncture/gash wounds
Post traumatic illnesses include:
>adult respiratory distress syndrome
>pneumonia
>vancomycin resistant pseudomonas
>wound infection (on ventral abdominal scar)
>eye turn
>aortic aneurysm (at site of tear)
>Guillaine-Barre Syndrome
>traceo-esophogeal fistula (from trache in throat for long period)

Survivor. Don't be a pussy OP.

Nah bruh I'd locate a firearm and end it. I couldn't do that I don't think. Then again I'm a degenerate pos with herpes

fucking metal dude

What keeps you going in life OP? I would have blown my brains out because I'm a pussy ass bitch.

i got a paper cut once.

...

"at least I still have my dick?"

I got very lucky, I have a limp because of the fucked knee- getting a complete knee replacement sometime this year after having two previous which included new ligaments. Otherwise I made a near full recovery and you would notice I've been through it all unless you're up close and see the scars on my head/face and I'm shirtless:L Frankenstein's Monster.

Since the accident and subsequent surgeries, Iget kidney stone about once a year. I passed a 10mm stone last May. Probably related.

its survival man, this shit doesnt kill you, just turns you into a grizzled fucking peice of shit, you grow from it.

even soyboys like you probably come out like men after enough pain

>I hate my mother for doing this to me
What? Wouldn't that rise from a medical condition rather than just an optional decision?

Don't know, I was gung fucking ho after teh accident and learned how to walk again after the paralysis from GB, but got very depressed after year two in recovery as I just wasn't satisfied on how far I got. Saw a psychotherapist three times a week and a psychiatrist for meds once a month for about a year. I was really down, and said fuck it, I'm going to Europe. Stayed there with family for several months and travelled about. Came back home, stopped taking meds and going to the psych docs. Just realized life was shit, everybody has some shit, and I need to live with it. And hear I am. Still alive over a decade after. The kidney stones are trying to murder me though.

1. Pick a date to kill self.
2. Spend money on good drugs (really high grade weed, acid, shrooms, dmt, ect) until you either come to a better state of being or run put of money.
3. Make drugs last long enough.
4.Kill self

In all seriousness.... idk

stay strong bud, i were in near death car crash too not my fault either, drunk lady made a u-turn on the freeway and hit me head on, she died. I were a rag doll perforated intestines, woke up in hospital with ileostomy bag. bi-lateral tibia fracture 1 of them compound(bone pierced thru the skin) right femur aswell broke multiple ribs, left arm. and right knuckle, left stomach wal badly torn cause massive hernia

damn user, that stone must have hurt i passed an 8mm stone and it was a bitch

still nothing compared to what you went through

thats what mine looked like

fly is undone bro

fuck you for posting that pic

at that moment i wanted to die, for a while i did. annoying nurses would come in the room wanting to teach me how to use change the bag, i would curse them and asked them to leave the room.

poo in the loo

I respect you user.

He good with soy/beans?

fuck, i literally have to drive 3 hours tomorrow. why the hell am i on this thread.

Cool photo bro. I(well my mother) have three Polaroids of me in the Trauma Care Unit, while in a coma(I'm the ejected from rollover guy above) There are about 1 month after accident. The staff was instructed to take the photos because they expected I would expire. When I was discharged to be flown back home(and to a rehab facility/hospital) the head nurse gav ethe pics to my mom. At the time I was swollen as fuck, called "third spacing" forgot about that. Haven't seen them in years. One thing I regret is my mom threw my clothes away, I would liked to have seen them.

>poo in the loo
youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU

I'll be dead so I won't miss anything. I'm not going to have kids since that's selfish; I would be putting them at risk for an autoimmune disease. I went to paint my bedroom and had to stop multiple times to eat glucose tablets. I'm sick of this bullshit.

lol, that cracked me up for reals.
ps. fly is dont cause i were trying to pull the pants down a bit to take picture
hells yeah!!!!
thank you user, 2 years after i am still not completely healed i still have major surgery coming after 2 years.
ending live is not worth it. user trust me once you are over this bump, you will be stronger and better version of you. you will see things more positively, you will generally do better. stay positive, i promise you will better then just fine
i am glad you alive bud, live is too good to be take for granted. there are people living worst situation the people like us.
if you need advise or have any questions, i can give you my kik. i had my ileostomy removed bit over 9 months ago here is the post surgery picture
.

every day I dread the potential of having a bag cuz I was unfortunate to be born into a family who have a history with colon cancer thanks dad. Had Uncles died from tumor cousins getting colon removed same for my dad. From his experience alone it really is terrible. I get super paranoid just from being constipated thinking oh god please no tumor. I drink fiber everyday just so I can shit properly. No one should have to live with this mindset of when its going to be my time. So I will never have any kid that comes from my seed. If I want to be a parent I'll just adopt.

What happens if you have mentos and diet coke

I had passed some stones before that really didn't not seem all to bad, considering, and have had to have procedures for others but wasn't dependent on size. For instance, two years ago, I had a 6mm stone that just didn't want to come the fuck out, located at base of ureter/bladder. That was shattered with the sound wave procedure. Many years ago, I had a couple stones in e both kidneys, onec moving down and one big sucker abotu 12mm stuck in kidney and they scheduled me for emergency laser lithotripsy (tube up the peehole, into the bladder, then through the ureter up to the kidney and they zapped it.) This was done under general anesthesia, this is a very fucking invasive procedure and my body/muscles was sore for several days after. Last year, when I fel the stone(which turned out to be 10mm) moving, I didn't even go to the ER. I had some percs from previous incident and tamsulosin (loosens peehole) and hoped for two weeks it would pass. But the day before my peepee doc appointment, I couldn't take it, went to ER. Cat scan showed 10mm in ureter. They gave me more percs. That night I went to heaven and hell, passed the stone at 2am. Literally felt like a knife in peehole. 10mm is upper limit that is passable. Got a pic of it somewhere

>non trust me once you are over this bump, you will be stronger and better version of you. you will see things more positively, you will generally do better.

The fuk, This is Sup Forums

Kids are ghey AF. Don't sweat that.

Type 1 doesn't have to be that bad. Your insulin regimen might be fucked up if it's that miserable. Are you in the US?

How´s your social life? Like did it change it at all? Does it smell? What about the sex life?

Not fucked up. It's all the shit that I want to do that I don't normally do. It's like. Do you normally take the elevator? Take the stairs today and get a sugar low. Do you normally drive to the Super Market? Walk there today and get a sugar low. Don't normally paint your bedroom? Paint your bedroom today and get a sugar low. Trying to exercise to lose weight? Don't forget to eat more food so you won't go low. I hate this shit.

not that user but another ileostomy user in this thread, my social life hasnt really changed, my buds dont treat me any different and mostly just give me sick bantz about being a bagfaggot.

i dont find that my bag smells really, they have charcoal filters in and are otherwise generally air tight so its not really an issue.

sex life is pretty bad, but it was kinda like that before i got ill anyway, but i wont lie, most ladies probably dont get turned on by you whipping your drawers off to show them the bag of shit and the bag of bloody mucus hanging over your dick, but a charmless nerdfaggot like me isnt really even getting to that stage anyway.

Hey man, it is not an endgame dude. No colostomy bags and no pain; this is the real deal.I have ulcerative colitis big time, so much is stress that drives it. But I digress, science has found that REAL maple syrup is the best anti cancer treatment for colon cancer. Fuck the leaf, but it is real and it is what you need.So stop with the bags and stuff, man up and do the local maple syrup routine and never look back!!

how much insulin are you taking? getting all these hypos all the time doesnt sound right

you cant cure not having a colon anymore with maple syrup dude.

>spend 10 years saving up money
>after those 10 years i´ll spend it all on ammo and guns and armor and stuff
>buy a tank
>storm north korea and go ape shit killing north koreans and making my way to kim or whoever is in charge at the moment and throwing shit at them.

>But I digress, science has found that REAL maple syrup is the best anti cancer treatment for colon cancer.
0/10 bait

Any physical activity that I don't normally do requires me to eat more carbs beforehand or get a low. Taking less insulin requires planning 2 hours ahead of time, and usually don't work anyway.

how do you get the tank to north korea?

that bag is just by passing my large intestines, and from the end of small intestines i waste comes out, thus no smell at all. i dunno if know our large intestine carries bacteria, that give poo smell of poo. if waste leaves your body before reaching large intestine, it smells little bite like what you ate earlier.
ok so in lamest terms, surgens call these types of surgeries "dirty surgery" since part of my intestine used to stick out of that hole. surrounding my still contain Bactria, that can potentially put you under septic shock. thus they simply put a bandage over it, it's call inside out healing. after day or 2 you when you look down the hole u no longer see you intestines anymore. cause of fat and my hole was at least 2 to 3 inches deep but it took only 2 week for ti fill up, on its own.
i had sex with girl in the hospital bed right before i were getting discharged.
and 2 other girl while still had a bag on. once you get used to it, even you wont notice it.

Be depressed about the fact that my body is fucked up and I will never be the same. Like shitting in a bag not the same.

You ever just sit on the toilet just because?

>i dunno if know our large intestine carries bacteria, that give poo smell of poo. if waste leaves your body before reaching large intestine, it smells little bite like what you ate earlier.

my ileostomy hardly smells much either, but i have a mucous fistula just over my pubic bone that is connected to the stump end of my rectum, and the gunk that comes out of that smells like hot liquid death, so i reckon thats where the bacteria that stinks your shit up comes in.

i do all the time, you get phantom colon, your body still feels like it needs to take a shit and goes through the motions, but all that comes out nowadays is a little bit of mucus and blood, the main event is all going through the bag.

also i empty the bag sitting on the john anyway, just point the valve down between my legs and try not to shit on my own dick.

you have to have a sense of humour to live with this shit

There is a shortage of dilaudid. Please hang up and dial again.

where would the cum go if you took it in the ass

you need to sit on toilet to empty the bag it run between your leg, but doesn't touch you.
are you talking about like j-pak?

lol
Have fun not having a dick.

Kick myself for not saving 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

If you kick yourself shit will leak

I see that. Made initial post before reading thread. First impression, yikes, Imma go.

Ask for tits or gtfo

That's nothing, faggot.

>be me
>cow tipping in south Brazil
>mfw it's not a cow, it's a bull known to gore cowboys at events
>bull chases me
>horn through 26th vertebra - clean laceration
>punctured lung led to collapsed lung
>hoof stomped
>cracked skull
>anterior cranium trauma - exposed fracture and brain-mass loss
>immediate stroke
>taken to nearby shaman (because hospital on strike - shitty monkey country)
>shaman picks at my spine
>removes hanging vertebra
>shows it to me
>"looks like little donkey"
>lose consciousness
>wake up in heaven
>smells like peanut butter
>bunch of faggots listening to gospel
>same shitty music 24/7
>always bright
>no sex allowed - no one has genitalia
>ask to speak to god
>"sup user?"
>"can you send me to hell pls?"
>"No user, you have to earn hell. But here's a trip to Earth. See ya!"
>wake up
>everyone is looking down at me
>everyone is HUGE
>try speaking - no words
>"buk-kawwk!"
>shaman concludes: "chicken arise! See? It work"
>mfw I've been a chicken for 34 years
>every time I post my head hurts because I peck at keys.
>pic related