It's Sunday

It's Sunday.

Confess your sins.

bump

jerked off in the bathroom in the middle of a family dinner because a hot cousin took a shit in there prior and i have had literally no enactments whatsoever of my fetish beforehand so i was desperate. i came in my hands. i'm fucking disgusting.

It's okay, son. You are forgiven.

First I have a question. Which religion do you preach mister priest?

god bless, father

I preach the true religion. The religion without name.

Ah ok well my confession is that I don't believe in that religion

it's okay. the religion believes in you. Go out there and be great, son.

Stole a nude pic of my friends girlfriend off his phone. I'm close friends with both of them.

WTF I love this religion now

you know better, son. you have what it takes to find yourself an even better looking woman. you are forgiven.

Thank you

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been about forever since I have confessed. I beat my dick in my friend's bathroom because I didn't know how to cook a pizza so I had him deal with the smoking stove while I assaulted my pickle. I told him I had a massive dump.

Dealing with your problems in that fashion will only create more problem for you, son. Don't fear anything that is not an asteroid about to impact the earth. You have balls for a reason. No errors were made during your creation.

My 15yr old cousin added me on Instagram over the holidays
She posts a lot of pics of her in bikini/short shorts
I can't stop jerking off to them
Please forgive me

Dealing with your problems in that fashion will only create more problem for you, son. Don't fear anything that is not an asteroid about to impact the earth. You have balls for a reason. No errors were made during your creation. You are forgiven.

I am 21yo virgin overeating morbidly obese fuck who cannot take control of his own life

Do not burden you too much, son. You are misguided but you can change whevener you want. Understand that jerking off instead of making a woman your age see your greatness, is slowing your growth as a man. You are forgiven.

Holy shit this is actually a really helpful wholesome post. Im taking that to heart

First of all you cannot call yourself that. Unless you can prove that you are not a miracle of biology. Nothing is lost. You are young and you have enough sense to see that you need to change. This is a gift, believe it. You have let your life come to that point because you don't understand how valuable your time is. Your time is valuable. You have a lot to do, a lot to learn, a lot to create, a lot to build. Do not let this time go to waste, son. Froget the past. You change when you decide, when you say so. Do not let this wolrd and the negative people around you rob you of your precious time. You are forgiven.

Thank you. I really needed that.

i used cheat codes in gta

I'm 26 and i don't know how to pay attention.

It's okay, son. If you don't cheat yourself and those around you, it's all good.

I'm married but I suck off older married men

I gotta git gud

Thank you, you have given me things to think about
I will try to be a better person, and avoid tentation

Listen, son. Paying attention does not require knowing anything, not a single effort. Attention is always available for you, because this universe was created in infinite attention. Furthermore, thinking about how to pay attention makes you miss the point. If you really can't understand that, find something you love to do and do it and this problem will be solved.

I'm deeply in love with two women. One is my live-in girlfriend and the other is a co-worker. I try to distance myself as much as possible from co-worker, and we don't work is close quarters. No matter what though, that indescribable feeling bubbles up. And it's the same one as when I open the front door to see my gf smiling on the couch. Father.. my love is true for both, and I'm lost as to what to do on a moral level.

Thank you Padre.

I have mentally abused my girlfriend. I betrayed her thrice. One was a pic of a girl on my phone, then I talked to another girl, and then I said hurtful things. I love my gf, what do I do Padre?

Las year I almost molested my cousin

Why? Have ever thought deeply about why you do that, son? What is lacking in your life? And is doing that solving the problem or adding more problem to your life? Pleasure will never solve any void, only underline them. Now if you cannot solve this issue with understanding, pain will surely bring the lessons you need. You are forgiven.

I shoved an egg up my ass once just so I could "give birth for the first time"

I feel so much hatred for everything and I have done spiteful acts to those around me. I recognize that it is wrong. Forgive me.

Went to visit my dying great grandma in a old folks home and jerked off in the bathroom (like a school bathroom) thinking about fucking random old lady's that were horny and lonely in there rooms
I was 15

Did it crack

Listen, son. The only moral choice is not to lie.
If you really want to have both in your life. Then you have to find a way to make your gf understand that. Now, you are still not sure that your coworker will love you enough to get in a relationship with you and accept that there is another woman in your life. My personal advice is to avoid women at the job, they can bring a LOT of problem. Keep in mind that seeing that woman everyday is a big reason for your attraction to her. You are forgiven son.

Verbally assaulted my friend online about 4 years ago. Really messed up stuff. I guess I was just trying to be funny, in an extremely dark way. Anyway he told his mom now everyone hates me. I know what I said was wrong, and I understand the hate I receive, but im afraid if I keep the guilt and shame bottled up inside in gonna end up killing myself or worse.

>assaulted my friend online
>Really messed up stuff
>trying to be funny

>gonna end up killing myself

That's what they call consequences to your actions, it's a thing. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, but when you do it'll be nobody's fault but your own.

You cannot abuse someone and love them at the same time, son. You seem to have a lot of unresolved anger or guilt, or shame. Maybe you feel that your are not loveable, that you have something wrong with you. Find a way to heal those feelings in yourself. This issue will only get worse if you take this lightly. Look at your feelings. Really do like you would a table, or a rock. Find their origin in your past. And forgive those who contribruted to you getting attached to them. Find them, clear them. And forgive yourself, you are human, we are all imperfect beings. Never stop learning about your self. You are forgiven, son.

Nope, i used butter to shove it up. Although, when I pulled it out it hitted the ground and cracked a little

Sorry pastor, but when you asked for an audience member I started to chuckle because you choose a down's kid and his behavior showed just like his appearance... remember when you asked him to get off the stage when the prayer was over and he was confused where he was supposed to go? And then the band started to play and he muttered lyrics with the song still confused if he should get off. That was funny.

Thank you, Father. I readily see the wisdom in your words, and I will apply this advice to my life. You have given one of your children much to reflect upon.

I play League of Legends, please forgive me padre.

Hatred in your heart will only put your in a corner full of misery and loneliness. You know that, son. Nobody wants to be around someone like that. The seeds of hatred are passed from generation to generation. You are nothing but a link in an endless chain. Realise that the people around you are not responsible for your joy. You don't have to give them the power to make you feel that way. They don't have that power if you don't give it to them. Yes, I undersand people can be an annoyance to say the least, but they, like you grew up in the same environment. They also are links of hathred. You have common sense, son. What is the right thing to do?

I guess your right. I've changed slot in those 4 years and I hope it won't come to me killing myself. Every action has an equal reaction. I should take that into account when in thinking about doing something stupid.

Thank you Padre, I will consider all you have said.

Okay. The session is over for me. Someone else can take charge.

Me.

League is kinda boring, but it's okay son. Do not forget to create something that makes you happy with your time also.