SPACE QUEST

SPACE QUEST
3-6-9 DECIDES

>"user, report to the bridge for mission briefing"
You head towards the bridge. As you walk you notice that most of the crew members you pass look at you with disgust and anger in their eyes. Except for Xander, another pilot. He nods his head and you can see him mouthing "fuck yeah user".

Your arrival at the bridge is not a joyous occasion

>"user step forward"
Said commander Rathor.
>"We selected you for this mission because of the high risk and enormous amount of danger."
>"We need an experienced pilot like yourself."
>"A distress call was picked up in quadrant 17xd, near the white dwarf."
>"our science department was exploring an ancient space station which could possibly hold shapeshift technology, as so the rumour goes."
>"head to the armory to get your gear, 1000 credits have been added to your account, arm yourself as you see fit."

You salute the commander as you spin 360 degrees as is tradition. As you pass the door you hear the commander shout
>"And user! Don't rape everything you see, we had a rough time explaining to the senator why the hostages had space gonorrhea last time!.

You continue to the armory
>1/2

>"Ow it's you."
Said ixabelle, head of the armory. You notice a faint hint of disgust in her voice
>"well a 1000 credits you say, I'll see what's available."

Guns
-xrj3 laser pistol - 100Cr
-1xr plasma cutter (melee) - 100Cr
-lfg3 laser submachine gun - 250Cr
-cpl laser carabine rifle - 250Cr
-x7 plasma grenades 3x - 250Cr
-r2 railgun - 500Cr
-wtf1 tactical nuke launcher

Armor
Light Armor (+speed +agility) 250Cr
Heavy armor (+attack +defence) 250Cr
(Heavy Armor requires power packs 3 are included)

Spacecraft
-standard federation fighter - 0Cr
(Holds 2 persons)

-tgr1 advanced fighter - 250Cr
(Includes a scout drone, holds 2 persons)

-standard transporter - 0Cr
(Holds up to 8 persons)

-tr7 heavy duty transporter - 250Cr
(Turrets, holds up to 10 persons)

>"so what's it gonna be user."
>2/2

buy 10 laser pistols

Bumping with random folder

You load your bag with 10 laser pistols
>"so what spaceship you going to take a fighter or a transporter?"

...

+1

put the fighter in the transporter

You ask the armory to load the fighter in the transporter
>"that's not gonna fit user you know that. If you took the heavy duty transporter it would have been a possibility.
You look at ixabelle with anger
>"You gonna make up your mind user!.

+3

angrily tell ixabelle she doesnt know what shes talking about and demand the fighter and the transporter so you can activate the transporter and fly the fighter into it at full speed

ask for the transporter and the fighter but replace the fighters weapons with the internals of the transporter

challenge ixabelle to a game of russian roulette with the laser pistol

>"wow user...... You ballsy motherfucker. You know what lets do this.I have been stuck in this amory way to long, time for some fun
You win the rock-paper-scissor and decide ixabelle has to go first.

>"well here I go."

She shoots herself in the head because it's a pistol not a revolver.
Everything in the armory is now yours to take

+4

Attempt to put fighter in the transporter

Grab the most destructive weapon in the room.

+8

this but put ixabelles corpse in the advanced fighter rig the tactical nuke launcher to the standard transporter to the standard fighter and rig it all to detonate remotely from the advanced fighter then take the rest of the weapons and put them in the advanced fighter and then fly the advanced fighter into the heavy duty transporter just after activating the transporter nuke fighter that is set to a random destination and is on a loop and is physically moving through space as fast as a standard fighter can go

You put ixabelles corpse in the advanced fighter rig the tactical nuke launcher to the standard transporter to the standard fighter and rig it all to detonate remotely from the advanced fighter then take the rest of the weapons and put them in the advanced fighter and then fly the advanced fighter into the heavy duty transporter.

Just as you want to send it to a random location xander walks in

>"sup user, boy did you hear about ixabelle. She blew her head of. Sad waste of fits though.... geared up for the rescue mission I see ? Mind if I tag along?"

Put the Transporter in the Fighter.

"Yes, about that..."

Set Laser Pistols to Stun and knock him out and throw him on board too.

ask him what planet is his favorite planet and hope he doesnt notice the corpse

this but set laser pistol to kill and ask him if he wants to play russian roulette to pass the time

tell him its fine and then akwardly ease into a hypothetical situation about having a three way with ixabelles corpse

Bump

>"yeah sure xander come aboard I'm about to leave."
>"awesome thanks user.

You lift of and head to the nearest hyperspace portal. In the meanwhile you start asking how xander felt about ixabelle

>"kinda sad she blew her brains out ain't it xander.
>"yeah really is, she had some bad ass space knockers. Kinda sad we only fucked once.
>"You ever had a threesome xander?"
>"yeah but I kinda felt left out. These chicks only had eyes for each other I just masturbated.
>"would you mind if it would have been like, another dude. Another guy just flowing away with you?
>"hell no, that is like the ultimate bro bond.
>"well it might be your lucky day.

You remove the 10 pistols you put on top of her corpse revealing her.

Xander starts puking.

force yourself to puke on xander so he doesnt feel left out

Sorry for bad engrish Europa fag here. Also fucking captcha

"Look, I'm so sorry about this, but it had to be done. She was taken over by an alien, a parasite, it completely controls who and what you are. If that thing got out it would spread itself to everybody else here."

grab ixabelles corpse and puppet her around and pretend to be ixabelle and make her pretend to shoot herself in the head again

>commander Rathor

>"wow nice job user, that's why you are the best God damn space pilot around.

The compliment gives you a semi-boner.

You feel pleased as you arrive at the hyperspace portal

You jump out of hyperspace.
The instruments of your ship appear to be instantly defected.
In front of you is an enormous space station, clearly not designed by the federation.
A low humming noise catches your attention. You have lost control of your ship. It seems that you are locked in a tractor beam, forcing you to land In the docking bay of the space station.
As you approach for landing you notice the vast amount of other ships in the hanger. These ships are very outdated and clearly from a different era. In the distance is a federation science ship. You land rather rough. You step outside to explore the bay
- infront of you is an gigantic blast door
- To your left is a corridor filled with equipment.
- To your right is a empty corridor leading to a closed door.

This space station

Go Left and search the equipment for anything really useful.

go back in the fighter to jury rig the scout drone and the heavy armor to ixabelles corpse and then have scout drone ixabelle carry all of your laser pistols and then explore the corridor on the left

Yell "I'm Buzz Lightyear! I come in peace". Get ready to shoot anything that moves.

You have created heavy ixabell drone.

>"c'mon xander, I have a hunch that that corridor is the way to go

Xander is really impressed by your ixabelle drone
>"You are a genius user.

You head towards the left corridor filled with equipment. Most of the stuff looks outdated.
You hear a voice coming from beneath some rubble
>"h-help please, I beg you"
You remove the rubble exposing a man, his intestines lay next to him.
>"G-get out before they t-t-take your m-m-mind."
On his head is a big gash, as if they tried to eat his head. He dies seconds later. Behind his back is a r2 railgun. Nothing else seems significant

Yell "The evil emperor Zerg did this!"

Take the railgun and duct tape it to your arm.

You ductape the rail gun to your arm.
>"THE EVIL EMPEROR ZERG DID THIS!"
>"who the fuck is ZERG user. Nice looking arm mount though.

You hear someone shout from the other corridor.

>"HELLO? IS THERE ANY ONE OUT THERE? WHO THE FUCK IS ZERG?"

yell that zerg is an alien emperor being controlled by a parasite that eats parts of your brain and that having a threesome with a cybernetic corpse isnt weird at all

"I'm Buzz Lightyear, I'm stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four, as an elite Universe Protection Unit. I protect the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!"

>"WHAT THE FUCK YOU RAMBLING ABOUT, IM LOSING MY MIND HERE. ARE YOU HOSTILE, ARE YOU HUMAN. IM NOT FALLING FOR YOUR MIND TRICKS AGAIN STUPID ALIENS!"

yell that you are a human but youve recently become part railgun and this was all a test and you come in peace but secretly arm the railgun

repeat exactly what the voice said but louder and in a falsetto voice

say youre a regular human being and you mean no harm but hide and send the ixabelle drone towards the voice instead

>"do not fear we are human."

You send in the droid to investigate. She reports a closed door.

>"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE, GIDDAMN ALIENS YOU AINT GETTING ME!"

"Fear not! It is just my robot companion! Jimbilimbo III! She is loyal to the Galactic Alliance!"

pile all the stuff you found in the corridor at the closed door and then shoot the most explosive looking thing using your new arm

After doing this, yell "It's Zerg! Back away!"

>"SHOW ME YOUR FACE, I NEED TO MEET YOU IN PERSON."

You notice the voice is getting upset

go to the closed door with Jimbilimbo III and Xander but with your pants down

...

holy shit what a kek thread so far
someone plz screen that shit for later lulz

sound offended and take the time to yell that having a threesome with a cybentic corpse isnt weird at all because thats normal and it should happen

tape the dead guy to Jimbilimbo III and smear the intestines all over the door and then rip his face off and put it on your face and then say youre ready to face him face to face

This is a brilliant bred

wear the dead guy and say open says me

You dress up with what is left of corpse next to you

Xander looks at you.
>"that's a brilliant idea user, she will definitely trust that guy.

You look oddly good in your new dead guy suit.

You head towards the door

>"open says me"
>"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, IM LOSING MY GOD DAMN SANITY IN HERE."

you feel relaxed as his ribcage provides extra protection and so you whisper open says me this time

you yell the alphabet backwards and then say simon says open the door get on the floor everyone walk the dinosaur

my name is user and i remain undefeated in russian roulette

finger Jimbilimbo IIIs head wound while you whistle and wait for the door to open

+1

throw a laser pistol that manages to ricochet off the wall into a vent and continue to bounce down the vent through another vent opening into a control room that opens the closed door and manages to ricochet all the way back through the vent it first went into right back into your hand

You decide there is nothing else to do but masturbate

fucking reroll

you think about masturbating to the warm sensation of wearing the dead guy as a suit but then you remember the three way and try to get Xander to have a three way with the corpse drone and loudly announce that theres no way this could turn into a four way

you sit down and do nothing for a while

>"IS ANYONE STILL OUT THERE?
>"FUCK IT"
The door slams open and instantaneously a laser hits next to your head.
>"HALT."
You turn your head and in the corner is a nerdy looking female scientists wielding a xrt3 assault rifle. She can barely hold the rifle due to its weight.

You blow a hole in her gut with the railgun taped to your arm, before fucking the corpse in the eye

yell tits or gtfo

reroll

this

Ask her if you can tongue-punch her fart box

covertly fire your rail gun arm and shoot the rifle out of her hands causing the rifle to go off and shoot a small craft in the distance which triggers its automated emergency protocol and it ejects its dead pilot through the cockpit into the ceiling and the ejector seat and dead alien pilot sputter over to where you are before running out of thrust

>"You ain't seeing my perky tits you filthy aliens!"
You take a few steps forward.
She fires another round hitting in the shoulder.
>"Show me your blood NOW, it's the only way I can be sure to trust you.
As you try to stop the bleeding she sees your blood looks normal.
>"omg I'm so sorry, but I had to be sure."
She runs towards you to mend to your wound.
>"I hope I didn't make a bad first impression but these alien mess with your mind. I killed half of my own staff with a incendiary grenade before realizing that they were human. My name is Debra. Who are you?"
>"I'm user, and probably your last chance of gettin' outta here.
>"well hi user thanks for trying to save me, you got a plan for getting us out of here ?

Tell her you could always just blast a hole in the hull, as you would technically be getting out of there

reroll

Shoot her in the shoulder with your railgun to make things even

remember that you just got shot and get angry at her for shooting your shoulder and also shooting your new dead guy suit and shoot her in the head with your rail gun arm because she is an incompetent scientist who killed half of her crew and didnt make a statue out of their corpses

Ask her if she wants to play a game of russian roulette

Tell her the only way to prove your humanity is to see her perky space tits and achieve a full erection damage bonus.

>"Ow user I feel flattered by your kind words"
>"it disgust me how hard I get turned on by you."
>"do you have any diseases?"
You lie.
presents her perfectly smooth pussy.
>"c'mon user do me like you did those hostages."
You hit her in the head as you give her the I'm Boston steamroller. After 5 minutes you fill her with your bad ass pilot cum, giving her various STDs.
>"wow user that was rougher than I anticipated."
She cleans herself, xander stands frustrated in the corner because he couldn't join in

>"now how do we get out of here user."

"With a game of russian roulette, you first"

Crap forgot to take the hostage shit out. My bad ignore that

lost

>"death would be a sweet relief from this hellhole, but I really wanna go home user."
She starts crying slightly

you throw the dead guys intestine at her and tell her to wipe away those tears

the last thing you want to hear in space is a woman crying so you blast her in the face with your railgun

laugh because of a funny thought you had

Op here

Keep this thread alive boys, working atm so my replying can get a bit delayed some times.

make the corpse drone lick her tears

Bumpo

make her hug the corpse drone because theyre both technically women

You tell her to hug the drone.
>"w-w-why, that thing looks terrifying."
The drone lets out sad beeps
>"BLEEP BLOOP."
Ixabelle drone shoots at the roof out of frustration.

>"we need to get out of here user."
>"I believe destroying the reactor would disable the tractor beam but it very likely that the whole station would blow up. Hacking into the system could work but the scientist who was decoding their language got burned alive."

Look for aliens

convince her to strip naked for morale

there will be no sexual hangups and so you force the drones and debras heads together