Christian Thread

Christian Thread
>NO athiests allowed
>NO Jews allowed
>NO evolutionists allowed

Dubs gets bible verse of their choice

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allahu ackbar, you christian infidel!

WinRAR

Fellow Christian reporting in

You know why a fish?
In Greek fish is Ιχθύς
Which the capitals spell
Ιησούς Χριστός θεού υιός σωτήρ.
(Jesus Christ God's son the savior).

wrong. they used a fish because they were smelly cunts.

(You)
By the way, I'm an agnostic atheist.

Nope couse its fkkn bait every religion is.

HIT ME WITH THAT 1ST THESSALONIANS 4:13-18 MY BROTHERS

The fish was used as a symbol to secretly meet when a king was killing them savagely.
This is when the word martyr was associated.
Martyr is directly borrowed from Greek and it means something like(I don't remember the eng) The one that has seen the truth by loving the pain to do so.

Living through the pain*

it's hell without Jesus

Rolling for psalms 1 1-3

>NO evolutionists allowed
isn't that just a retarded born again/evangelical thing, ya know the beat my kids, beat my wife cuse jesus gave me eternal life kinda thing?
I didn't think actual Christians had an issue with it.

Polythiestic religions outdate your monotheistic God...surely that's a clue that you've been told lies as a child...its time to wake up and grow up

Please refer to the Jesus chat line for all your questions.

Palms 82 verse six, my brothers in Christ.

Christianity is Polytheistic
>The Father
>The Son
>The Holy Ghost
amen

>tfw stuck in 1450

If they're Gods, yeah.
Poly = many and Theos = god.

check these holy dubs

That's called the Holy Trinity. Unless you're Mormon, all three are one and the same.

woohoo, it's the holy hat-trick!

Opening discussions with so many priests, almost like every week.
>So, are your fellow Christians following what Christ said?
>Sadface.jpg, no man, you know they're not, this is just reality and..
>Yeah, exactly, it is quite sad to see since your son-of-god had so many ethical teachings to give.

How do I block the pornographic ads on this website??

Download the ad block extension for your web browser, brother

never thought I'd see the day that there was a Christian thread on Sup Forums

And yet, still profoundly and wholly seperate

catholicfag here, why are Christians so weird, my ex-girlfriend invited me to church and they were talking in gibberish but they called it tongue or something. And she looks at me and says go ahead let it out and I was so confused

There have been christian threads on Sup Forums for years, newfag

dissociative identity disorder

No u faggot, he's all and one. Basically says "you are not God and you're not divine enough to understand such a concept".

it was a fucking joke retard

Oh, I thought that was just some catholic BS to spout to "Pagan" peoples while trying to convert them and show that there were superior and didn't appear as a concept till after 300AD

rolling Ecclesiastes 1:2

Catholics are Christians.
Jeez, that's one of the reasons I stopped following this religion.
There's Catholics and Orthodox

whenever I feel like going to church, they just read from the Bible have a 20-25 minute speech of how it relates to life or the priest gives you a story related to the readings, donations, and then more praying and singing. It's structured

Read that shit anyway.

When people refer to Christians these days they usually mean a protestant

They're "fundamentalalists". Easily spotted by speakkng in tongues and exaggerated gestures

>NO athiests allowed
I love how just being an atheist is enough to perpetually buttblast christfags, all I need to do is exist and they'll always be buttblasted

Is this something you do in the US?
I guess, I guess that's logical since slang, yeah

youtu.be/_tRp_RFeuu4

To my brothers and like, maaaaybe sisters, blessings upon you and your house. Walk with Christ and know that you are safe. Praise be to the Most High.

>evolutionists

We got a fuckin' retard, boys.

>speakkng in tongues and exaggerated gestures
I think you mean spotted by their unbiblical insistence on theatrical virtue signalling
>atheist in your thread, atheing

Well I go to a Mexican Catholic Church when I'm bored, but when I went to her Christian Church it was structured so differently with what they do for an hour or two. It was a mostly black Christian Church Something to jubile, so maybe that's why it was something different

Evolutionists?

Fucking drink antifreeze already. It keeps you warm in the winter and Jesus wants you to stay warm.

Oh that makes sense then, maybe it's a good thing I'm not with her anymore, I'm going to be one of those families in the news that the wife kills everyone

yeah pretty much because a majority of the Christians in America are protestants

What does Protestant mean?

I'm a technical weirdo and got to say that this is something shared around the word, Catholic churches are much much more beautiful(especially in Europe) than Orthodox churches.

World*

And yet here you are, buttblasted. Atheists can't help but let everyone around them know their religion as soon as they find out others don't copy and paste them. You're like vegans, but dumber.

My ex was Christian too. Their church service was pretty much a low key study. Some dude played guitar too

How can any one person be so ignorant of the world he lives in? Are you allergic to books?

This

Protestant comes from the Greek proto = first and stant(yes, Greek) = standing your place.

lol you literally called me out because of how butthurt you are. I don't give a shit about your religious beliefs so long as you don't try to force them on me or anyone else, you never would have known if a butthurt christian hadn't posted that in the OP.

Just face it. You're afraid of atheists because you can't tolerate the idea of anyone who questions your dogma. Your beliefs are central to your identity and anyone who disagrees with you is a threat.

I'm a Catholic fag by birth, I am technically agnostic I believe in God but I don't really believe in religion, so why am I going to read up on religions and study them?

Atheists are a whole different religion though.
They believe that there's nothing God.

Mother always said "if you don't have anything nice to say dont say anything at all"

...

No*
Damned swipe

>why should I want to understand the world I live in
gee, I don't know

...

...

Atheists reject the claims made by theists. How can the rejection of a claim be a religion?

How often did your mother post on Sup Forums?

Or that atheists are just fucking stupid because they force their own ideas on others when no one's even bothering them in the first place.. you're worse than vegans, go be a scientist then and fuck off of Sup Forums. In the old days forcing it on you would be killing you, sorry if nowadays you get butthurt because someone thinks you should go to church.

Dubs. Pick a verse :)

I explained that in my reply.
Think carefully

...

I'm unaware of mothers internet history. she might be a lurker kek

...

Religion doesn't affect the world I live in, so I don't need to read up on it .

...

Did I hear.... Athiest? I'm here cunts. God doesn't exist.

>they force their own ideas on others
>when no one's even bothering them
lol sometimes I wished I lived in this alternate fantasy land you inhabit. Never being bothered by brainwshed dogmatists while walking through the city? Nobody knocking at my door at 7am on a saturday to ask about Jebus? Sign me the fuck up.

I haven't read the bible, you pick one and I'll read it. Make it interesting please

...

What a stupid opinion

Yes, yes, yes you mortal God.
Seconding

Book of Proverbs

maybe they're out talking about dogma and repenting because looking around you there's so many homeless and meth heads and criminals, and boohoo that happens once a year and they know houses to avoid those recruiters if you would call him that aint doing shit to harm, I could go on but you must live with a lot of guilt to be in such denial

What's up Bros. About time someone made a thread for us. Greetings from Poland

Good night bros and brosephines

>31 chapters
Got anything more concise?

My point is that literally nobody ever gets in your face about why you SHOULDN'T believe in God, but there are people fucking everywhere trying to peddle their ideology onto me. And many of those same people vote for politicians who then make laws based on those Bronze-Age principles, meaning your views are forced on me by the long dick of the law... Despite it being fundamentally un-American to mix religion and politics.

>guilt
>denial
Pure projection

Amen

Christfagging? On Sup Forums? Jesus Christ you guys are pent up.
Tell you what, do yourselves a favor and stop pretending. We all know you're here for one of two things - boicpucci and gore. Chances are, you'll live long enough to rejoin God's graces when you're old. Indulge in sin and vice while you're young. God sent his only son to absolve you of your wrongdoing, after all, and it's not like you're robbing people or murdering. Ditch the pretense and rejoin once old age sets in and the fear of hell instilled into you as a child starts looming it's ugly head. You've only got one life - enjoy it while your dick still works.

Christian here, why are Catholics so quick to call a priest father?

>"Call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven" (Matt. 23:9)

No they are referring those who believe in Christ. Christ was nondenominational tbh.

>24 But since you refuse to listen when I call and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand, 25 since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke, 26 I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you; I will mock when calamity overtakes you—

If this is what you call "Christian Wisdom' then color me unimpressed. Smug mockery is pretty immature and low and hardly is inspiring, it just makes whoever wrote this seem petty.

Be gone Satan, you have no power here!

God is for gays and niggers.
Sail Hatan.

Have fun in the after life. Tell Satan God send his regards. But remember no cock sucking for you while your burned and forgotten about, for ever and ever Amen.

What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.

How can you worship an intangible and invisible being written from a book and take it seriously?

No...You're wrong

Fuck outta here with your shill ways faggot
God's a nigger and Jesus was a poor, brown, Middle-Eastern socialist Jew. All things we hate here on Sup Forums
>inb4 "go back to Sup Forums retard"

By having faith in Jesus, accepting the holy spirit and regaining the once known relationship man had with YHWY!

go back to Sup Forums retard