Sup Forums omfg I need your help this is the greatest thing ever

Sup Forums omfg I need your help this is the greatest thing ever.

I've effectively convinced my gf/fiance I'm a secret operative. She thinks I'm a rogue agent that got away. I told her if she gets any call from a random number, "the red car is on the way" to leave town for st lest two weeks

I need some help her. She thinks I've killed people and somehow got away from "CS6" she's crying in the other room saying, "I've wasted two years of my because I don't know who you are, it's all lies" now she's packing her things.

This is too fucking good not to share.

I need help w this Sup Forums how can I really get this goin? Omfg lololol

Pls bump I need ideas she's going nuts

It's alright, my gf thinks I do some crazy-ass borderline spook shit in the military. Low and behold I was a grunt and now a desk jockey. I tell her all the time that I don't do anything crazy and she gives me the whole " You wouldn't tell me even if you did." I have no idea why she keeps up that fantasy.

Calm her down and tell her she just needs to keep making it look like she's leaving so she's safe but you guys can keep seeing each other in private. You know so the "Center" doesn't catch on and send somebody to handle it.

>Low and behold
kek

Guys I think I went overboard

She's bawling

Pls help what else can I say? It's just a practical joke I'm gonna come clean soon. She's gonna be Sooo pissed. She askede to leave already lol. Asked if he parents are in danger.. Etc.

Fuck is that not the term?
Fuck it start acting like a schizo

>PRANKED

Lo and behold

I started saying I Hae flashbacks that's why I'm grumpy in the morning
>all I see are their faces evwry time I sleep and wake up

After she asked me ok,... Srsly how many people have u killed?
>..... Ok.. 10...10 civilians

>..... Ok.. 10...10 civilians
lost

> ok.. user, 'whatever your real last name is' doesn't care
Its tooo easy lmaoooo pls user give me some more ideas before I can't take it anymore and start losing my sides.

"I did 9/11"

Commencing I was behind 9/11 posting results. Shit I wish I could record this and post it it's gold.

Lol
>fuck, I can't even say your. Name I don't even know what to call. Do u know what it feels like?

Hey OP ,tell her there's a bounty on you for like 3 million $ from the FBI, and see how fast you get your ass reported. wew

lol this is gold
tell her you need to either get away clean, or tie up the loose ends in order to be with her

She's flipping out wanting to call her period. I was like I'm just joking..

Now she's like well either wsy
>now I'll never know if you're an operative or a normal person. I'll never know what the truth is. If you can lie about something that crazy, idk what to belive anymore. E

"my dick can't lie"

Oh shit user.. I may need some help here. How do I convince her I'm NOT AN OPERATIVE??? She doesn't believe me now!!! What have I done?.?

Help what do I say to make her belive it's not a joke. I'm fucked lol

She said if this is a joke it's the most fucked up thing I've ever done and may break up w me lmao fuck... I love this girl too...

"if you break up with me, I'll come for you... your dismembered body will be found all over the country, and no one will ever know."

write down on a piece of paper that the house is bugged and you both need to play it off like it was a joke.

noice

this

Help her pack her shit and tell you'll miss her but its for her own safety

Lol. No Iwana keep her.

Update: she thinks anonymous is all coded messages and that's what I do.. Send codes messages to my "operative"

Lmfaaooooo she's being silent and looking out the window www omfg howis This happening. Lmfaoooo

did you just make your GF into one of those Gang Stalking people?

There we go.
>Your parents will be the first if u leave.

OP here underrated.

Fuck.. user. Srsly what do I do? She still thinks I'm an operative talking about I may get caught if I leave the house or her parents are in danger if I go to work.

simple.you got a gun?

whoops. that sounded waaay more threatening than it should have

She sounds dumb as fuck. You should tell her it was all an elaborate joke after you convince her to fuck you one last time before you leave her for good. I don't know how you could convince her, because she's in that weird mental place where she's concerned and not horny, but maybe you could tell her you saw a car outside and need to convince them everything is fine or something.

I tried this..
>im going in the other room.. Go onto fbi site put in the name Jame t. Almond and say I have him in m custody
Said you'll be taken care of with 3 million bounty.
>it's the least I can do for putting you through this.

what i mean is, load it up with blanks,get your freind to put on a thick russian accent, have him come to the door one day, have him fake 'shoot' you, blow a squib."Demitri sends his regards." and when you're dying in her arms say some cheesy romantic bullshit and then kiss her one last time" 'die'. when she has her back turned HITAIL IT OUTTA THERE SMOKEY!

Looks like this has proven more difficult than it would seem to prove her otherwise.. no matter, im sure scotty and the prank patrols only a call and a fee hundred bucks away, just get them to smack down the door

I do

lol not what i was expecting

fuck! prank patrol man, thanks for the nostalgia

Awww she said I'm never doing this to you

After I somehow convince her I'm joking and she's eveultslly laughing ab it, I may just do this. Thanks for the input lol

something tells me this is bullshit
>might be the "Omgf lolololol"

OP here This is 100% true idc if u believe me or not. I already sent the most proof as I could above. Want more? Tell me how.

She's also still super pissed at me.

I told her I was doing a practical joke and she's still doesn't believe me. I think she may break up w me.. Least I have a story to tell now lol

>and I don't even know what to call
>Mr. Whatwr the hell his real name is

Im fucking dying tryijg to keep in laughing. Any last requests or actual help to make gf believe I'm not an operative from "CS6" a subdivision of the CIA

so how dumb do we you think are & we think she is?

I don't think any of you are dumb believe me or not it's the truth.. She's still ranting and believe I used to be an operative.

Let me get her number so tomorrow i can call and say "the red car is on the way"

Hey! Do it.