How do I console a depressed person...

How do I console a depressed person? I noticed my friend has self harm cuts on his wrists but I don't know if its appropriate to bring it up. I know he's been depressed and goes to therapy but I don't know what to say and I'm not even that close to him but I feel really bad for him.

Join in the wrist cutting

Persistence
I would say don't try to pry
But let them know that you taking an interest in how they're doing isnt just a curiosity
But that you're actually invested

Yeah, I don't want to pry, I told him that I was there if he needed to talk but I don't think other people take depression as seriously as they should. We know he's been suicidal and I don't want it to be too late until something is done.

Lol

If your aren't that close then leave it be and approach from a different topic. If they seem rather relaxed then bring it up nonchalantly, and be ready for the awkward silence that might ensue when he says he doesn't want to talk about it.

I don't know any ghuys like that. girls usually. they just need some dick. my dick probably. oops.

Try to earn his trust first by opening up to him.

I'm 27, I got on meds at 21 and wish i had done it at 16. Tell them to go find a psychiatrist they trust, someone they like and you know, "vibe" with, "start low, go slow" with dosages.

Depends entirely on the person, but "I'm here for you" is something even people that don't give a fuck are eager to say. Personally I'd casually bring up my own fears and insecurities first- "Damn man. Can I share something with you? See the other day, I was talking to this girl at the bar about my childhood, and it was like anything I said she could only relate anything to herself. I mean fuck, sometimes I feel like nobody even hears the words that I'm speaking right in front of them. You ever feel that way?" Saying something personal like that might make them feel like they can open up to you. But be warned, you might get more than you bargained for. In any case, you seem like a good guy. So if you really care, you might want to give that a shot.

This. As a miserable fucker when people say "I'm here for you" that is an empty promise they're just saying to tick a box that they tried.

I recommend doing what this user suggested - relate to them, that way they might feel a connection and want to talk to you because you would understand.

You really can't but you'll only know if it's serious or not when he starts posting on social media about how depressed he is. You can't have real depression unless you're on social media about it telling people they can't do anything

wat

Are you saying that you don't have "real depression" unless you post on social media?

If that is your point then it is a bad one because a lot of depressed people stay within their shell and hide it from everyone - additionally they aren't remotely attention seeking and will isolate themselves i.e. not advertise it on social media.

he's making a joke you autistic fuckface

...

A lot of anons hit the nails on the head with the fact that "I'm here for you" is just a thing people say, if you want him to open up you've gotta do the same and make yourself seem trustworthy.

For a lot of people though, they may have enough people to talk about their problems with, and prying into it can just make them focus even further on the issues and make them overthink whats wrong. Sometimes, just being someone they know they can rely on to have fun shit planned out is enough to help them along with it. Inviting them over to hang out, eat pizza and play vidya could be enough to help them, without having to divulge into something you may be unprepared to handle. I'm not necessarily saying don't talk about the direct issues, I'm just saying that being someone to help take their mind off things in a way that accommodates them and their hobby's/interests is an alternative way to show them you care without having to play therapist, which can be emotionally draining for you and may do more harm than good if you don't already know how to respond to such deep conversation.

Anyone have any experience of tackling their own depression?

I've had it for as long as I can remember.

There are good days and bad days. Most of the time I'm generally apathetic and unemotional though.

Regarding dealing with it I'm a bad influence on myself because I either get baked or drink. However that being said I am exercising now (I did fuck all before, not fat either because I don't eat shit or eat a lot, just unhealthy) 3 hours a week which I find does help in some capacity.

Keeping my mind occupied and busy is the best remedy for me - as long as it's focused on something else, I'm not aware of how miserable I am. This can be studying, working, gaming, exercising or whatever. Something immersive.

Thanks for the replies, I'll definitely keep this in mind. I think that I'll work on earning trust so that he knows if he needs to talk to someone, that I'm there for him. I won't pry, ill just make sure he knows I'm trustworthy and that I care. A lot of the people he talks to his problems about have told me what he has told them so I don't think he's a good judge of character though.

therapy and being honest with myself about why I was unhappy

granted, the reason I was unhappy then hasn't gotten much better (>tfw no gf) but I've learned to deal with it better

see a therapist asap

Sorry also to add - it's worse in the evenings. I don't really get tired easily and go to bed as late as possible, so I stay up pretty late being miserable. That's the worst time - it's quiet and there isn't much to do, so my mind goes wild.

Same actually, I've never understood why I'm so hopeless, feel so empty and sad during evenings.

This is me but I did try therapy and pills but I found it did nothing for me.

I know it sounds edgy or wrong but honestly how I feel is normal now - kind of comfortable in some ways. I don't think it can be "removed" just handled. I gave up doing all that, I even got bounced around with psychiatrists and referred to a mental health place but no luck.

I figure it's just me and the way my brain is made up, plus past experiences. I just am like this. It gets easier but never really... 100% tolerable.

Sorry got a few questions:

>Do you often stay up super late?
>How old are you?
>Where abouts do you live in the world?

More out of curiosity but yeah. Evenings are probably the worst time.

I also sleep, a lot.

I don't want to end up with a label or any medication, my feelings just end up as a lack of a sense of belonging. I want have a closeness with someone but don't make the effort to achieve it or simply expect that same closeness to come from them. I also feel like I lack something worth fighting for or an enemy to channel myself towards defeating. Everything is stagnant.

that sounds about right im not seeing blowjob mentioned but most of it sounded right

I feel you. If you wanted to talk I'm up for that.

I think a lot of these threads are made and die out but many people in them really want someone to talk to that *might* get them.

Let me know.

hes probably depressed because he feels alone as he is the only one slitting his wrists, why dont you join in? make your buddy feel included and he'll probably cheer up a little.

Give him some dank weed and go do something fun, like cutting your arms and shit

Oh and I feel like my mind is much less active than I used to be, I'm less emotive about things and feel detached. Lack of sleep is common too. If I go to bed early I can't get to sleep or feel really uncomfortable just closing my eyes and waiting. I'm always trying to be occupied by something, be it my phone work music or anything else to stop me being alone with myself.

this

Don't try to cheer me up, it just takes some time for me to sort through my shit myself. There's nothing worse than feeling like shit and having some fucktard keep telling you "It's gonna be alright" "Stay positive" "There's always tomorrow". No fucking shit, guy. Honestly, the best thing (for me at least) is when someone just treats me like a normal person and not some ticking timebomb made of glass.

This is also fantastic advice. I hate opening up to someone and then realizing they only asked so they could regale me with their own bullshit.

Good luck, user. Don't feel bad if your friend doesn't open up. Just be genuine and be available.

My sleep schedule gets fucked up often but even when its normal, I still get a persistent empty, cold feeling. I'm 18 and from Ireland. I'm usually numb and feel emotionless but evenings make me feel so much worse.

Yeah it's nice to just vocalise feelings. I guess it's good to understand ones self.

yo girl i couldnt help but see those slits, you wanna let me get up in that slit between your thighs?

>depression
>self harm cut
lmfao

You anons reminded me of this post. I thought I'd share it because its nice to have something to relate to.

I also suffer from pretty bad depression that comes and goes in cycles - although this is one of my better "up" periods, I've actually been making some decent progress on my diet and exercise routines. I think a lot of the time I can get overwhelmed and just keep lying to myself about the problems - but for the first time in a long time I've been trying to be honest with myself and whenever I can feel it slipping just stopping and walking through with myself whats wrong and what is exactly thats making me unhappy and how I can work on it. I still get bad days, but I think it might be getting better. Less drugs and alcohol have most certainly helped my head stay clear enough to focus on these inner monologues and resolve the issues. Detox was a bitch though.

Sorry to ramble, I just thought I'd share the techniques I've been using in case they can help anyone here. I hope you anons can all find peace within yourself and this year brings you more joy than sadness/apathy.

We're not that far then - I'm in England.

If you wanted to talk more I'm up for that. Always looking to connect with more people that get it.

I got an old friend off of cutting by just talking.
>hey dude, noticed your arm. Does it help you?
>nah man not really
>then why are you doing it?
>he tells me two weeks later that he hadn't cut anymore since our talk
>mfw i talk-no-jutsu'd my friend
>YOU KNOW IT

yeah usually the people bragging about how sad they are on facebook are the ones who truly lack "real" depression

Yeah I've seen that before - a very very accurate representation of my life and some of the posters here I think.

Overwhelmed yeah. I felt like that towards the end of last year, I stopped doing things I liked because I felt like it was all too much. I've started again this year and definitely happier but of course - still got my mask and my emptiness.

Hang in their user, and grats on the cold turkey.

It sounds cliche, but you need physical exertion. Some people work out and that's good enough, but sometimes you need physical exertion that accomplishes something.

I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity for a while, and since I'm not completely useless they put me on the roof. Roofing is hard fucking work, but you will feel a real sense of accomplishment. I'm not saying go roof a house, but anything that makes you work hard and has a tangible result may do wonders for you.

Had a neighbor who lost his wife of some 50-odd years. He doubled down on making angel boxes for children's hospitals. (Angel boxes are for the babies who don't make it.) It sounds depressing as hell, but he was a woodworker, and it kept him moving in a positive direction.

Good luck user(s).

If you are a cute girl, jerk him off as a friend. Dont say you care otherwise.
If you are a guy just be more social with him. Go out more

No more like I'm a total retard and she was the one talking about pussy usually. To be fair though she was mentioning an ex sometimes and why in the fuck would I want to hear about that?

nice blog post bagina for upboat

Oh yeah man, end of 2017 was a real low point for a lot of people. That Christmas period sucks for so many reasons, both on a society level and for many personal reasons too.

I try to think of that emptiness like a tank, sometimes its empty and other times it fills a little. One of the things I'm on a waiting list for therapy for is isolating what exactly it is that fills that tank. Man if I could get enough of that shit I'd be unstoppable. For a while it was narcotics, but obviously thats no long term solution. I'd say I'm starting to get there, the hardest thing is just holding onto progress. I think we all know that good food+hydrating+goods sleep+good social stuff = generally happy human, but juggling all of that can be so fucking tough sometimes.

Its good that you've managed to start doing things that help you feel happier though user, you hang in there too, for every rough patch theres gotta be a joy patch to balance it all out!

My ex-hairdresser (she quit 'cos she suddenly got depression and her life fell apart) does that all the time. Pic related.

She posts at least two or three times a week about it.

Hand jobs suck. Nobody likes that bull shit.
If a dudes all fucked up like that he probably can't afford to go out. Going out sucks when you're broke. They'll probably just ditch you really quickly.

That's a pretty good analogy and it's scared me a bit because I feel like reading that I've figured out what fills up my tank - thrills.

And more commonly... new relationships. This isn't a boast it's actually sad but I've been with probably 9 or 10 people so far, properly, and they've been a blast to start with but I ended every, single, relationship. Yup. Multitude of reasons ofc.

Thing is I'm with someone now and I'm getting that feeling again. It's fucked up. Super fucked up. I did have childhood trauma that's related so I'll bet it's down to that.

Share a bottle of Helium with him.

I've posted a bit in this read so if any one wants to talk more, like 1 on 1 with someone that gets it (and I mean, properly understands not some general bullshit) feel free to add me.

>Discord
Mel#4591

Maybe try seeking thrills as a couple - I obviously don't know the ins and outs but as time progresses a lot of couples tend to stagnate and do the same shit every day. Be open and honest and say you like new exciting things - if they're into it too then you can start to keep things fresh with adventures/dates without having to keep picking people up and putting them down again. From experience I know how exhausting that can be, for both you and the people involved.

discord and couples advice. fucking normies go back to r eddit seriously leave now go shoo

I've been on this site for nearly a decade now. Don't mean to call the oldfag card, but threads like this where anons can actually be human but anonymously without having to worry about bullshit like upvotes or forum community drama is what Sup Forums so damn good in the first place. Of course you may just be making a joke, in which case my bad.

no im not joking, you suck. nobody is dealing with that kind of bull shit except assholes that cause it. you're the problem. go take your problems somewhere else fuck hole

You seem mad. Wanna talk about it?

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i don't care if you're an old fag or a new fag, you're a fag either way. going to sit here and tell me you like being user and then post a fucking username. really. just go back

tell him to cut down the road not across the street. fucking faggots the both of you

I'd suggest a PS4, but you could also console them with a Nintendo Switch.