Well boys it's official: I am overjoyed to announce that tomorrow I will be ending my life. I will be going the extremely comfy alcohol + xanax route. I've had a lot of awful days in my nearly 20 years of existence (birthday later this month), but today was finally enough to push me over the edge.
It started off with having the cops called on me due the strong odor of marijuana in my dorm. They submitted a report to administration and I will find out within 10 days whether or not I am being evicted.
Then to make matters worse, as I was about to head to the gym, I noticed that the chain on my bike was loose, making it undriveable. It turns out some asshole completely vandalized my bike, my only form of transportation. Now I have to walk everywhere around campus which is a special kind of hell for me because the school is large, and I cannot remember the last time I walked anywhere (I had always chose to ride my bike)
Then, my girlfriend sent me a snapchat reading "who is Eliza". This QT asian I hung out with ONE TIME but decided was way too autistic for me to enjoy spending time with her. Anyway, I tried explaining this to my girlfriend but she hasn't replied back and I don't think things are going to well at all.
Finally, right after that, my precious iphone 7 decided to have a seizure (the screen looks like something you'd show to someone to test for epilepsy or have someone trip out on acid)
Anyway, all this combined with the huge uphill battle I am facing in my personal life is too much, and I've decided this is the end of the world.
I am very much looking forward to my unending dreamless sleep. C y'all.
