Guys I’m in deep shit here

Guys I’m in deep shit here.
>be me
>be 19
>work at shitty store
>girl and her mom come up
>girl says hows it going
>has baaaad lisp
>i greet her back but accidentally with a lisp because Im a shitty person and make fun of people.
>ohshit.jpg
>she looks up at me
>her mom thinks im making fun of her
>play it off as i have a lisp, now purposely talking with one so they believe me and I dont get fired.
>both believe me
>girl now likes me because she thinks we are the same
>gives me her number and wants to hang out sometime
>i dont actually have a lisp
What are my options besides suicide right now. Shes cute so do i act like i have a lisp if we hang out? Or should I not text her and hope she forgets. Either way i have to remember her face because she may come shopping there again. What do I do guys.

Just say it only happens when you see a cute girl and have to talk to them

Just ignore her completely even if she comes back just start talking normal again. If she questions it just say you have no clue what she's talking about.
As long as you dodged that moment who gives a shit what happens after that.

>First off...faggot
>Second of all whats a lisp?
>Third order of buisness, tell her what happened, say you went all austin powersy (you know when he sees a mole and cant get it out of his head)

Say you've been working on it for a while but slip up sometimes.

Look up speech therapy youtube vids.
Follow them.
Practice them.

Now you are not a liar if she ever shows up again.
Show her if she asks.

or you know, quit while you're ahead and just not bother. Life's short.

Just tell her you're already seeing someone. You won't have to talk to her anymore, and it lets her off easy.

Play it off for a little while, see her, but over time get a little bit better. When you get to the point of her noticing, just say you're getting more comfortable with her and only have a nervous lisp

You're thinking about it waaaayyy too much my dude. If you're upfront and honest, tell her you picked it up cause you thought it was kinda cute but then realized that that might be a bad idea and you hope she doesn't think you're an asshole, she'll probably be cool with it. She didn't ask you to hang out cause you also have a lisp. She's clearly already interested.

Kek
This

Tell her what you told us.

Just don't.... text her? Why even post this at all?

Or kill yourself. That works too

how old is the girl user?

No clue, looks say 17-19 range.

You mean tell the truth, and not perpetuate new bullshit every time I meet and remotely like people?

just say that you got your teeth drilled from a cavity and they gave you that numbing shot that makes you talk like how she talks. Boom. Winner. Than tell her you felt bad because you didnt want to make her feel bad for having that speech shit. Boom double. Enjoy your night.

Seriously? This is what you freak out about?
>OH JESUS FUCK Sup Forums I POURED MILK INTO THE BOWL BEFORE THE CEREAL AM I FUCKED?!

just tell her you had a tongue injury from sucking too much craig's list hookup dick the weekend before you met her.

>

>What are my options besides suicide right now.
lmfao

>does lisp in public by accident
>immediately considers suicide as the solution

love you, Sup Forums

>Say you've been working on it for a while but slip up sometimes.

THEN

you slowly but surely help her overcome her own lisp. voila.. you now have cute gf with no lisp

this master manipulating

[= enjoy user. i'm going to bed.

Thanks guys, I knew you had my back.

Say youre taking speach therapy classes and eventually it will go away.

>Talks to a girl at work and gets her number instantly
I must be ugly as shit! This dude is getting numbers from girls with their moms just by doing his job and greeting customers...I'm so alone

girls dont normally just hand their number over to some cashier bro. at least not as far as i know. i think she thought he was the only guy in the world with a lisp and she's the only girl in the world with a lisp and it's like her only chance.

or idk maybe im ugly as shit too and that's why hoes don't just hand me their fucking number at random

The situation is irredeemable, your only options are to commit suicide or move to another country and change your identity

>milk before cereal
Yes you are fucked in that situation

Just don't talk to her?

You need to learn to let go man. If I run into any awkwardness I cut those people out instantly.

>be me
>be 19
Stopped reading there

just explain what happened and apologize dude. don't take any backwards bullshit route. she'll probably understand.

who gives a shit what the bitch thinks. girls like guys who are dicks, you were a dick and you got her number. now go shove your dick in her and then forget she exists.

Op listen up, easy solution here, say you have a condition where you get lisp when you are under stress, get an excuse we to why you were stressed out, fake a few lisps every now and then.