What the fuck happened?

What the fuck happened?

All the rum was gone

Is he JUST yet

a woman

Time, alcohol, money and women.

Not yet but soon

He's Captain Jack Sparrow muh hearties.

mainly cigarette i bet

Holy shit

cigarettes and booze every day

he used to be such a cutie :(

He was really insecure in his relationship with amber and thought thatshe was going to leave him for a younger guy, so he basically charaded her around (this killed his relationship with Winona).

Johnny has had bad wisdom teeth since the dawn of time and he has never had any problems even though they were not completely developed. Now, this doctor comes and tells him that he should probably get them removed so that he can "minimize the risk of any future problems". We all knew it was bullshit, but Johnny went away with it anyway and when all was said and done his jawline was shit and his front teeth stated becoming wobbly.

he's even more insecure now. The extraction fucked up his jaw.

t. friend of johnny

how do you know him?

tell me some stories

>starts hanging out with doug stanhope
>instantly starts looking like an alcoholic piece of shit

I'm just an old friend, not famous or anything.

>tell me some stories
about what? I have way to many.

He looks like Stannis' son

He's in his 50s.

Fair enough but how did you even meet a huge star like him as a normal person?

As for stories, I dunno, the first time you met him and how you managed to become bros / what you've gotten upto with him would be a good start

does he have gay sex on the side?

>I'm just an old friend,

i get the feeling that this is doug stanhope...

Nose clams.

I knew his publicist at the time and he introduced me to him, and we kind of hung out after shotting and became buds after he invited me to a couple of parties.

Greentext coming up.

He tried kissing a guy once who was really into it (clooney), but backed out of it and later said that it was like "kissing a dog".

he is A LIBERAL
if he was a chrsitian like Mel Gibson he would hit rock bottom and then God would help him make a great comeback!!!!

Agepill happened

wait a sec. are you saying that clooney is gay?

how gay is clooney?

Yeah, clooney is gay. He and brad had a thing for years.

mmm makes my boipucci all wet, tell me more

kek fag

The ravages of time

>no greentexts

where`s the greentext? we're waiting here...

>johnny, me and a couple of friends go to a high end bar in russia. let's name these guys seth, mike and greg.
>Johnny is not recognized in the bar because no one really looks at guys who dress up like they're ready for bed.
>Johnny gets slightly drunk and orders expensive champagne for us friends and basically goes nude except wearing his undies
>His undies are brown with red patterns over them and everyone is just fucking staring at this guy
>He asks the bartender for another shot and then says that "He is motherfucking Johnny depp"!
>At this point he is pretty hammered and waves at the most 10/10 escorts and beckons them to come to him
>A couple of escorts that were free came near him and enquire us if we would want anything from them
>we said that johnny had all the money and she had to sk him if he wanted to spend it
>she said her rate was $3000 per hour per person (This hooker was, like, a goddess. seriously)
>Johnny realises a hooker is stading near him and just basically jumps to her and starts cuddling
>She's maybe 5'4" and johnny is literally choking her with his arms
>Hooker is getting asphyxiated
>She asks him if he was gonna pay
>he says, "Anything for you, darling"
>We stood around trying not to laugh for the next hour and half while johnny just kept cuddling with the hooker
>When he finally leaves her, her face is completely red and johnny has a full-blown erection that he shows to the entire club
>Passes out (he was drinking non-stop ever since he came in)
>Wakes up a minute later to find himself covered in booze and his own piss with a 10/10 hooker standing above him and looking at his erection adn asking him if he wanted anything
>Johnny is prety shocked and literally kisses her hand like a victorian nobleman and says "sorry madame"
>pays for the hooker and we gtfo
>johnny is later pretty disturbed and says thta he will never "fall in love with a hooker again"

So you didn't get to bang the goddess? Unlucky

Would you say Johnny is a nice guy for the most part? Is the Amber Heard stuff bullshit/overblown? I guess he can't be too bad or snobby if he's willing to hang out with normal people. I'm guessing you've been around various other celebs, any of them douches?

top fucking kek, the abolute madman, looks like he's a Kiefer-sutherland-tier drunk now...
when did this happen, recently or much earlier before he got JUSTed by amber?

>So you didn't get to bang the goddess?
Johnny doesn'tpay for hookers for his friends, it's one of his "rules"

>Would you say Johnny is a nice guy for the most part?
Yeah, he's a nice guy and always polite to everyone, never really explodes or anything ike that.
>Is the Amber Heard stuff bullshit/overblown?
Not really, like I said, johnny's having self-esteem issues now that he looks older and amber was trying to control him for his money, he just never saw it until it was late. Also, she's a HUGE money bitch.
>I guess he can't be too bad or snobby if he's willing to hang out with normal people.
yeah, he doesn't have an ego or anything like that but won't talk to people who talk down to him.
> I'm guessing you've been around various other celebs, any of them douches?
clooney-haven't met him after '06, but until then he just wanted your dick and ignored you if you were a woman except if the media was around.
pitt-very polite and courteous to strangers, completely bro-tier with friends
more coming soon

Have you met Idris Elba?

good thing his most famous role is a pirate.

looks like clooney has always been far deeper in the closet than Kevin spacey who doesn't even hide it anymore...
i don't believe you that brad pitt is gay though, no fucking way is he a buttbrother, he's far too masculine and a bro to be a faggot...
i never got some gay vibes from him and i always suspected spacey, dwayne "the rock" johnson and hugh jackman to be gays which turned out true mostly...

>dwayne "the rock" johnson and hugh jackman to be gays which turned out true mostly...
What?

this is the best thread i've seen on Sup Forums in weeks, keep it going with the gossip depp-bro, we're enjoying this... thanks for sharing

Johnny Depp is pro-2A. He's not liberal.

everyone knows jackman is gay, his wife is his beard and he's hanging out a lot with bryan singer. they even made a joke about jackman being gay in some modern family episode...
dwayne is all but confirmed now...

>dwayne is all but confirmed now...
What his second kid on the way?

He ever tell any fun behind the scenes movie/hollywood insider stories? I've always liked him in more serious roles like Black Mass, shame he insists on mainly sticking to shitty films; has he made a conscious decision to phone it in at this point or does he actually care about getting an oscar or movies like the lone ranger bombing?

What is the alcoholic meme? Any support for that?

He's turning into Shane McGowan

bryan singer had a kid too recently, in hollywood kids mean nothing, it's all for show...
ronaldo has a son too.

I've seen him in person but never talked. He's kind of a recluse who hangs out with his wife.

He isn't gay now, that was the entire point of his relationship with angelina - they were going to lay off the faggotry and get a proper family. Brad had relaped while he was with jennifer and he left out of shame. Then angelina pushed all the queer shit on their daughter and they basically had shouting matches evrywhere.

He REALLY wants good roles but he's also ready to do average films that make him money and keep him in the news, because he thinks that publicity is just as important to get a good role as it is to get rich. He did transcendence thinking it could be a good movie but refused ot back out and it was "a huge mess" (in his own words).

he does Pirates everytime because he says that it's like summer vacation for him and he loves the character even though he doesn't think the movies are very good or serious.

what's that?

damn his teeth are fucked
is that for PotC?
cant he afford dental implants even with the alimony?

>He isn't gay now, that was the entire point of his relationship with angelina - they were going to lay off the faggotry and get a proper family. Brad had relaped while he was with jennifer and he left out of shame. Then angelina pushed all the queer shit on their daughter and they basically had shouting matches evrywhere.
Oh wow.

Have you met DiCaprio?

>He REALLY wants good roles but he's also ready to do average films that make him money
why did he change like that? he only did great arthouse movies in the 90s but after Pirates it was all but blockbusters... he should have enough money by now to just only work with arthouse directors now, and i'm sure they would take him, he was great in black mass recently, it's obvious that he's still got it but it seems like he has a shitty agent.
and passing on grand budapest hotel was a big fucking mistake, that film would have gotten him a great career boost and a rennaissance a la McConaughey... after Budapest every hip director would have wanted to work with him...
do you know why he passed on budapest hotel??

mm3

I've also met the entire gang (affleck, damon, affleck, clooney, etc) and had a couple of drinks with them, I'll tell you guys about them-

Damon-best buds with affleck and ignores casey. Gets drunk and makes condescending jokes about everyone and tries to hug you and then punches you in the gut (happened to me)

Affleck-towers over the group and calls everyone faggots, aggressively tries to get girls and gives the stink eye to any girl who ignores or refuses him. He also is the only person who talks to casey (apart from brad) and gets drunk and makes a lot of hand gestures while telling outrageous made-up stories

clooney-keeps staring at your face and smiling in that weird autistic way and cocks his eyebrows up and down adn gets drunk and stays really quiet, and the explodes with laughter when someone tells a joke. He'll also wrestle your legs with his under the table if he gets drunk enough and tried to press my nuts with his toes once, which was when I changed seats and sat with brad, the only sensible person on the table

brad-he's like the designated drunk driver. Literally the best guy in the group and never makes fun of anyone on his own. Gets drunk and adds punchlines to others' jokes and laughs when girls come near him and ask for autographs. Also is the only person who likes casey apart from ben and invited him to drink with them. He signs autographs on behalf of clooney when he's drunk enough and writes outrageous things in them. Also ignores his friends when his children are around, and plays wiht them A LOT. THe one time I saw him with, like, 4 of them they were all literally rolling on top of him and shouting whlie angelina smoked in the back while using her phone.

>Affleck-towers over the group and calls everyone faggots, aggressively tries to get girls and gives the stink eye to any girl who ignores or refuses him. He also is the only person who talks to casey (apart from brad) and gets drunk and makes a lot of hand gestures while telling outrageous made-up stories
Those hand gestures are coded messages for other Al Qaeda agents in the same vicinity.

why do they hate casey so much? this makes me legitimately sad. he's a better actor than all of them combined so maybe it's out of spite...

Everybody hates Robert Ford

yes he is

Yeah, but not recently. I met after The Departed was released, and he okay-ish but really pretentious, and like he didn't really show his true self to anyone. He also is a womanizer and will support anything that gets him bitches. Also Very aggressive networker, passes around cards and talks to everyone nad the topic eventually comes to him and his career and how he wants to do "good films".

>he does Pirates everytime because he says that it's like summer vacation for him and he loves the character even though he doesn't think the movies are very good or serious.
I could understand how doing them would be fun, i'd say he gets away with pretty much anything when on set.

Is Brad the most human actor that you've met?

Nothing happened.

Who says this guy was every anything you thought he was anyway?

Do you know him personally? Have you met him?

So what the fuck do you know other than what the PR, psychological manipulation, media wants you to know? Every single thing you think you know about this guy was fed to you. 100% of it could be ripe bullshit and you have no clue... same with whatever the change is that you're perceiving. Maybe he was always this way. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe it doesn't matter.

I can tell you one thing.. Hollywood is full of scum and pus. They are all scumbags. 99.9999% of them. It's a nepotistic shit show. Complete opposite of meritocracy, just like US society itself.

What about his relationship with his Daughter.

Is that any good and is she on any drugs?

She always looks so high all the time.

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

and you know they fucking will

so don't play like you don't know they fuckin' will

Cuz they will

lel

He's the most level-headed.

Matt and Ben were friends for a long time and casey was ben's brother, and just that. When they met all kinds of people (after good will hunting) casey said he wanted to be in thei business too and ben said that he's going to get him in it. So, these guys met a ton of people, clooney, redford, spielberg, a couple more directors and actors, and eastwood (fun story). A year later, they're all partying regularly and talking to clooney and the like, and ben basically shoehorns casey into everything. So, he's been viewed as an outsider ever since and even though it has been more than a decade since that, they still haevn't accepted him as a part o the "Group".

but he really does great movies... a film like revenant could never be made nowadays without dicaprio attached to it...

BURN BABY BURN

DISCO INFERNO!

BURN BABY BURN!

HEY HEY HEY!

Everything you know about everything was fed to you. I agree with you, but that's not much of an arguement.

I know. but drunk men like to hold their penis and rant with their left hand while chewing kud and spewing blood.

Probably the only way that guy is telling the truth lmao

pirate life

>So, he's been viewed as an outsider ever since and even though it has been more than a decade since that, they still haevn't accepted him as a part o the "Group".
fucking hypocrites. i wonder where clooney would be if his dad wasn't in showbusiness. everyone relies on nepotism in hollywood and it's shitty of the "group" to disrespect casey like
this... i do understand them from a social point of view, i hate it too when some of my friends always keep bringing some dude from outside our circle of trust to our gatherings, i tend to ignore the "new guy" too in that situation...

He really like her and played with her all the time until she was 12, and then she just snapped. Just changed one day and dyed her hair, started doing make up everyday and stopped talking to anyone and just listened to music in her room all day long.

The only reason johnny had a kid with vanessa was because he really loved her. lily saw that her mother treated johnny very coldly and basically refused to even touch him. She's also a huge hippie and thinks that vaccines and shit make kids go blind or something and didn't let lily get vaccinated and made her a vegan initially. Johnny used ot sneak around and get her shots and fed her proper food. then they'd have arguments and she'd say that she'd sue him for "harming her daughter".

Lily is really looking for attention and is killing herself because of it. She has shity friends who are all doing "hip" things like getting tattoos everywhere and trying to cross-dress.

He meant that he only wnated to do good movies.

Yeah, but the thing is, he's more like them than anyone else they know and they still ignore him.

I found a giant cockroach in my asscrack, underwear today. It bit me and left a red mark.

That's really sad.

She looks like a skelton now a days. Maybe Portman can save her or something.

Also how long have you know Johnny and are you a actor or at least in film business yourself?

>She's also a huge hippie and thinks that vaccines and shit make kids go blind or something and didn't let lily get vaccinated and made her a vegan initially.
so thats why lily had blood poisoning years ago, fucking anti-vaccine retards, they don't realite they're killing their kids wth their insane reasonings...
i hate this vegan-movement, my roommate is vegan too and a complete crazy bitch, she once cleaned her whole fridge just because i put a completely wrapped and sealed piece of meat inside it and refuses to fuck her boyfriend unless he stops eating meat too...

Are any of them closet Trump supporters?

Speaking of closets, have you met Tom Cruise?

i really hope johnny will do okay in the future. i basically grew up watching his career throughout movies like Edward scissorhands, dead man, ninth gate, chocolat, sleepy hollow and i loved him in every one of them.
is he actually still friends with tim burton? they haven't worked together in 5 years by now, is it because dark shadows was such a big flop?

I agree that a majority of that demographic, like a majority of almost any demographic, are retards...

but if the US government and associated corporations didn't have a huge, storied, track record, of constantly doing all kinds of fucked up shit... right along the lines of

going way beyond just suppressing unwanted side effects in medications.. That's nothing. That's fucking just called Monday. They do shit way worse than that. Intentionally injecting people with all kinds of chemical or bioweapons just to see what happens and all kinds of shit. None of that is conspiracy, it's all history.

So there's a reason why people are going ape shit and don't trust a fucking thing anymore. Half of it is just insane people, the other half is paranoia developed from exposure to.. the reality.


I'm fully vaxxed up (though I know better than to buy all that bullshit vax this, vax that, they try to sell people seasonally or otherwise) and I don't believing in reproducing, so there's that, where I'm at, where I stand. But I said my bit.

what do you mean by charaded her around?

>they haven't worked together in 5 years
Hope they keep it that way forever

you're right, the vax for tuberculosis was used for decades despite massive side effects in infants like heavy fever and more, but i'm a med student and i believe that the positive effects outweigh the (relatively) rare side effects of vaccines... it is vaccines and effective hygiene in urban areas that made it possible for humanity to reduce mortality in infants and led to a bigger population growth, but maybe that's not such a good thing after all. it's getting too crowded on our earth, not enough ressources.

>>Wakes up a minute later to find himself covered in booze and his own piss with a 10/10 hooker standing above him and looking at his erection adn asking him if he wanted anything
>>Johnny is prety shocked and literally kisses her hand like a victorian nobleman and says "sorry madame"

i can imagine this

US government are complete retards in relations to anything especially their health politics, you will all be fucked after hilary wins though, a Civil War will come, so prepare yourself.
here in germany there's at least a comission that analyzes a vax's effectivity, its side effects and health risks thoroughly before it gets introduced to the masses... though your government fucked us heavily too and now we have to deal with millions of shitskins amidst our regions raping and stealing and just doing whatever they want while merkel just watches the old cooze...

Just for starters, you should read up on all sort of the fucked up experiments done to non-whites, both inside and outside the US armed forces. It's utterly fucking insane.

Or if you look into the history of these older big pharma corporations and some of the shit they did back in the day, and even not so long ago.. just the stuff we know about. It's fucking heinous.

If you want to talk just suppressing info about horrible side effects... well thats a whole other topic.. A good example which comes to mind is. Damn I forget the drug name now, but it was an injection too. Caused horrible fucking problems. Took years before FDA did shit. It's like they just experiment on people. What the fuck is wrong with the US.

Hilary winning = nothing will happen. Same old shit. and we're still on course for the WW3 which has been playing out, in slow motion, over the past fucking decade.. Very well she could be 8 years.

Trump wins = much more likely for domestic disturbances. People will be watching every little thing he does, just waiting to be outraged.. etc. He's last 1 term, no more. Plus the swing left in 4 years time will be something to behold.

I've known him for more than two decades and no, I'm not in the film business.

Lily isn't eating because she's a wannabe model andmost of them are anorexic.

Angelina Jolie is a huge republican, but other than that, most lean left. Clooney, affleck, damon are left. Johnny says he doesn't give a fuck anyway.

A lot of them have "live and let live" tendencies but they aren't going to get jobs unless they agree with the status quo.

Burton didn't blame Johnny or nayone else for the flop, he just said that most people didn't get the film. He's doing other stuff now and Johnny was basically creating problems for himself by thinking that he was having self-esteem issues (which then, he did after thinking that he did).

Catered to her every whim, couldn't keep his hands off her, kissed her every chance he got and gripped her hand all the time. ALL THE TIME.

yeah, that's true, our pharmaceutics professor is red pilled about this too and in class he tells us all the time that the pharm corporations are working against the ethics that define medicine and we shouldn't trust a single study they produce to promote their newest creations.
they did a lot of shit in europe too, even now they don't take a drug from the russian market despite massive side effects being proven just because they're still authorized to use it there...
they're fucking reptiles.

>Angelina Jolie is a huge republican, but other than that, most lean left. Clooney, affleck, damon are left. Johnny says he doesn't give a fuck anyway.

>A lot of them have "live and let live" tendencies but they aren't going to get jobs unless they agree with the status quo.

How about you, OP?

What about actresses, have you met any?

I'm pretty sure WW3 has been going on behind the scenes for years and has just been cold so far. I wouldn't even be surprised the the original cold war hasn't actually ended.

An actual WW3 would be over in a flash though, we probably won't even know it happened, just 5 minutes of government officals freaking out and the rest is over in a big white flash.

>most people didn't get the film
So shitty writing then.

Apparently, MENSA enjoyed the film.

I'm sure they said they did.

>nothing will happen. Same old shit. and we're still on course for the WW3 which has been playing out, in slow motion, over the past fucking decade.. Very well she could be 8 years.
if trump refuses to accept the election results and will continue to say that they're rigged, which they definitely will be, i'm sure some sort of disturbances will break out in USA, also Russia will leak some heavy shit on hilary and the clinton foundation soon so maybe her campaign is done anyway.
i'm not too worried about the possible uproar of some SJW dykes who are mad that shillary didn't win, most of the rage will be restricted to twitter or facebook anyway but i agree that trump wouldn't last longer than one term and it's questionable if he will get any of his plans across congress in the 4 years he's got...

interesting stuff user, thanks

>most of the rage will be restricted to twitter or facebook anyway
Don't be too sure. These idiots recently were protesting at Berkley demanding the equivalent of segregation return to the college.

>here in Germany

Surprised this wasn't written in Arabic. Does the leader of your local sharia gang know you're posting on Sup Forums?

yeah, but i if i lived in USA i would be more afraid of armed hilbilly republicans who think the government rigged the polls than some SJW dykes and nu males protesting on the streets... also when the dirty stuff comes out about the clinton foundation the government will have a lot to explain to you citizens, and a general uproar will be sure, if americans realize their government is inherently corrupt they will act...
i'm sure trumps supporters own more guns than crooked hilary's.