Help me get laid bros

Help me get laid bros.

>tinder bread

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archived.moe/b/thread/753949272/#753958518
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I'm gay and this was a mistake

> you: are you shy ?
>her: sometimes
or
>her: I am not, very social why ?
>you: nice now we have something in common
go out for coffee/lunch with me!
>her: I dont know you ?
or
>her: what are you planning ?
>you: X place at X time ?


After that talk about whatever. Also try some cold reads


notice how at any point
> you know what you want
> you tease her (see if she will validate her self)

also only a firm no, anything else is yes.!!

my 5.3 inch dick will make you SUFFER

"My mom wants me to look for a girlfriend"

"do you like Bionicles?"

This will get you laid, hands down.

winrar... i guess?

Idk where to go from here. Need to switch subject

dude, just ask questions about herself

If dubs say:

I'm really on tinder because I just masturbate to gay porn. My dad doesn't love me because of this, so I'm trying to make him happy, or else he'll put me to sleep like he put my dog to sleep. I've spent countless nights just terrified, please send tits so I can proof my dad I'm not gay. Your tits could save my life

fucking roll lmao

ROLLERINO

Holy kek, rollin for this

rollero

pls get

rollo

BY THE POWER OF KEK I SUMMON DUBS

Roll

Fuck your dubs faggot

KEK WILLS THIS

skidaddle skidoodle your dick is now a noodle, and poodle oh boodle I'll now get some dubszoozle

Rolling for : I got plans today but tonight I'm pretty open. Let's grab some drinks

Roll

rollerino faggetrino

do this one OP, it'll get you laid

chekem

You ever have a good time with a hung guy and your dog? She can use it like a chew toy and you can suckle my beanbag

ROLL
O
L
L

fucken roll and kek

Tell her that she's not as good as San Junipero

rollllllllll

Winroar!

reeeeeelllliinng

rolling again

WINRAR

WinRAR!

winrar, OP you glorious bastard DO IT

winner winner chicken dinner

FUCKING KEK WINRAR

kek'd n chek'd

WINZIP! OPPPPPPPP DOOO IIT FAGGOT

I can't say that guys, she'll get grossed out

kys you fucking nigger

I never said that dubs decided. You guys are terrible with suggestions

>goes on Sup Forums
>expects good advice
>doesn't obey the dubs
its like you're the newest fucking fag ever

"Listen luv, we both know why we are here so how about we get a sitter for that cute bitch of yours' for the weekend while we stay at a hotel and I show you all the things I can do to that body with a tarp, some kitchen gloves, a gallon of lube and an intricate system of ropes and pulleys."

Jesus fucking christ...

I just figured that everyone could work together with good suggestions. I guess nobody here is good at talking to tinder matches

I don't think this will work. What about just suggesting going to a movie?

Forget Tinder. Get on Grindr. Find a good ladyboy enjoy sucking and tugging each other. Nobody knows how to make a man cum buckets like a ladyboy.

that is just because you have yet to witness tarp anons work
archived.moe/b/thread/753949272/#753958518

Can't really get to know someone while a movie is playing. Plus if she talks during it and you have to say shut up I am trying to watch this it might be a turn off.

I was thinking of inviting over to watch a movie/Netflix...maybe black mirror and telling her she's not as good as San Junipero

I don't find guys attractive

Never the movies for a (first) date. Do something thats not everlasting, just a coffee or something, dont plan a whole evening, girls may think youre needy. If youre getting along, maybe you extend the date or get a second one.

Inviting her over to cook dinner together and watch netflix?

Most girls wont want to come to your place unless youre Brad Pitt and theyre sluts. They want to feel safe (you could be a fat mexican using a pic) in a public place.

op better delivar

Well id suggest to go for a coffee in public first, most wont go to a strangers place for obvious reasons.

What if I trick her into it? Like tell her to meet somewhere and give her the address and boom, it's actually my place. I have a beef ribs ast in the oven, but I took it out so that we can cook it together.

Should I watch Black mirror again to think of witty things to say while we watch it too? Then she'll be like "he's funny and makes good beef roast"

I'm not fat or Mexican though. Should I send her a list of references and tell her my favorite Better Call Saul episodes in ranked order?

no she'll be like "this creep lied to me about where we were meeting up so he could trick me into his house."

Deliver what? I never agreed to dubs deciding the Tex. Just wanted great suggestions from the Sup Forumsros

I think she'll look past that once she smells the beef roast and hears San Junipero playing (it's considered the best episode I guess and has a love story so it should go well heh heh)

just don't forget the boiled eggs if you want her to notice how cultured and refined your tastes are

Boiled eggs smell funny plus I can't eat them due to my medical condition

Stop being such a fucking faggot and post something or GTFO

But that's the great thing about ladyboys. They look like hot, sexy girls, but they have dicks and know what it feels like to have a dick.

People with dicks know best how to make people with dicks get off.

Ask her if she enjoys getting buttfucked

Still here, OP?
rr

Ya, I think dubz will win next text now since I haven't responded in a while to her

Ok dubz will be my next text to her but nothing about gayness

...