Ask someone who hasn't left his apartment for half a year due to severe social anxiety and depression anything

Ask someone who hasn't left his apartment for half a year due to severe social anxiety and depression anything.

I feel like I am close to a point where I will have to commit suicide because I can't seem to escape this situation otherwise. The relationship with the only person left in my life, my mum, is finally destroyed as well. She just told me to kill myself via WhatsApp because she thinks I am just a lazy piece of shit. I stopped trying to explain my situation to her.

Oh, I am also a daily drug user.

Have you tried twisting the doorknob? That's how I usually leave my apartment.

If you are gonna off yourself, go out with a bang, even if means literaly

what drugs are you taking?

Live stream your suicide when you do, faggot.

Jokes on you, my door doesn't have a doorknob.
Also, your comment is more ignorant than those coming from my mum and she grew up in a generation where it was taboo to talk about mental problems. Congrats.

Hm, I don't know. I think I would go out by injecting a lethal amount of fentanyl or heroin alongside some yummy alprazolam consumed orally.

A lot of different ones. Currently, I am on pregabablin. I also smoke tons of weed and take a lot of benzos, mostly alprazolam.

I used to smoke heroin, but I kicked that shit. One of the few things I am proud of in my life.

If I was able to easily stream my fuckface, I could also just go outside and not kill myself, you feel?

Who's more ignorant, the guy who doesn't care about your self-made problems or the guy who can't find the exit?

Buck the fuck up. Nobody out there either cares for you or will notice you if you venture outside. You are a prisoner of your own self imagined demons. Stop being a faggot and man up you worthless shit and become a meaningful member of society instead of a self imposed failure.

Hang in there buddy. I'm not too different from you. When you get into a rut of depression and anxiety it feels like it's impossible to change but it's not. Take small steps to improve your life. The alprazolam is probably a big issue.

How do you quit this combination without form of seizure?

post the conversation with your mommy

Who/what is enabling your ass?

The guy who doesn't care about my self-mad problems, because they aren't self-made

Ain't that easy, but I am not here for others to pity me. If I wanted that, I wouldn't have chosen Sup Forums. Like I said, this is a AMA. I thought maybe it would be interesting to some to hear about my day and shit. It's quite a bit differently when you haven't left the house in half a year.

The alprazolam is both a devil and a godsent. On it, I used to be able to function, but when the depression came into play, the alprazolam didn't work anymore, because I wasn't just scared, I was also unmotivated.

What combination? I only quit heroin.

Most of it was on the phone, after the phone call I texted her "I hate you" and she replied with "Kill yourself". Not much to it.

It sounds like a meme, but Bitcoin. I forgot about a few Bitcoin I purchased in 2014, a better time. And yeah, now that enable me, ain't that great?

I would rather be on heroin... Clean one.

Benzos and weed.

>Too scared to go outside
>Thinks he can kill himself

Not self-made? Who puts the bowl to your lips? Who barricades the door so you can't leave? Who tells you that you should be depressed and anxious?

Where do you live?

bullshit. how do you get your script filled? if you have xanax i guarantee you could take enough to leave the house comfortably.. xanax kills fear when you get high on it. you could have a gun pointed at you and not feel afraid. also i dont believe your mom told you to kill yourself.

How don't you starve to death?

kek

I am currently not physically dependant on alprazolam, so I have that going for me.

But yeah, heroin has the best high there is. Once you experience that kind of bliss and euphoria, you will never forget it and crave it your whole life.

It becomes easy when you don't have much of a life. And ordering the drugs I need to commit suicide online is not the problem.

Kek, you don't put the bowl to your lips, that's where you apply the lighter. And I don't tell myself that I should be depressed and anxious, it's just a feeling there is. It developed a few years ago and has since been there.

I don't have a script. I order my drugs online.
And while that is true for social anxiety on its own, you can't motivate yourself with benzos when you have depression. It erases the anxiety, but then I am left in a state of "Eh, fuck it".

I shop my groceries online. There are services that will deliver your shit to your door and you don't even have to open.

>A lot of different ones. Currently, I am on pregabablin. I also smoke tons of weed and take a lot of benzos, mostly alprazolam.

Doing all this while not leaving your house is creating your problems OP. I love drugs don't get me wrong but all of this with isolation isn't good for your mental health. Kys or don't but don't act like this was the result of anything but your choices

Just get clean of the drugs. Just that. Nothing else. Take your time, even.

Cure for you would be to have someone forcibly remove you from your apartment and throw you in the wilderness. Fighting for your life for couple of days would do good for you.

You're right, drugs only make my situation a lot worse. So does my computer, which makes sure I don't get bored to death just sitting here.

Matter of fact, I don't really anymore. I am pretty sure I will commit suicide soon.

You can order all the drugs you want, you won't do it. When it comes to that last moment and the guns to your head or the needles prepped, you'll fail. What started your anxiety?

sue her
claim that your situation is due to her poor parenting
also show the message of her telling you to kill yourself to put more weight into this
that alone, we have a precedence, can get her jailed
you'll merely insist on her becoming your paypig, and with what she did to you she's clearly at fault as a miserable incapable mother that at least owes you alimony

Kek

OP, äre you a fatty? an uggo or both?

What kind of stoner are you? You've never heard someone call a pipe a bowl?

if you can't get out to see a lawyer etc. and dont know whom to phone then call a psychiatrist first. the bill for your treatment will be on her as well.

How much do you weigh? Surely you can't be exercising .

The therapists aren't really sure where my anxiety is coming from. My dad suddenly passed away when I was 5, but besides that nothing traumatic ever really happend to me. Diagnosis: pussy, I guess.

I was always extremly shy and anxious, though.

I got money from Bitcoin investments and I am not American so I am not really interested in sueing her. As if I have the energy for that anyway.

Nah, not fat. I would say I look... average? Idk.

No. A bowl is a part of a bong or pipe, but not the whole thing. Did I insult your stoner-knowledge?

Good thing we got mandatory health insurance here in Germany, ayy.

I weigh 87kg and I am 193cm tall. And you right, I don't really excercise, but my metabolic rate fast af, boi.

Similar user except I (currently) have a job though that's not likely to last long. I use cannabis every day though you wouldn't know if you met me. Once I'm off work I smoke pretty much every 30 minutes on average.

As a daily cannabis user I can attest that it is cannabis that harpoons your social life. It's hard to explain but I tend to not want to be around people the more I smoke and I'm not alone. During rare times when I actually sober up a little bit, just a few days without weed will make me more sociable. Despite all that though I just can't stop smoking. If I dont smoke, I drink and if I dont drink I look for anything else. I know if I sobered up I'd be 100 times better but i just can't see to do it.

Yes, technically that part of the pipe is called the bowl, but the whole thing is frequently referred to as a bowl as well.

So Op, i was wondering, what do you usually do during your day? when you arent sleeping or smoking

Have you tried Kratom?

Taking drugs, playing CS:GO, chatting with people on IRC, eating.

Nope, I have not yet tried it. Seems to me like there are better drugs when I wanna have that opiate feeling

Hey OP, I'm kinda light version of you at the moment. I smoke a shit ton of weed everyday and sit stewing in my anxiety and depression. Today was the first day outside in like 3-4 days.

The thing about this rut and anxiety and depression is it's a pattern and it only feels impossible to change. You can sit and have a debate with yourself about changing, just doing this one thing today to turn things around and then 3 weeks has passed and you have the same debate. The thing is you go into a pattern, a set trail you go each day and the longer you do it, the more foreign and "difficult" other things become but it's all in your mind. It's literally being aware of your own mental dialogue, seeing the moment you decide to not change. Just try to go outside, to the store to buy some shit you want, whatever, make yourself rewards for changing your life.

Depression and anxiety is basically inactivity and all activity in the mind. So the cure is doing in stead of thinking. Workout, go for a walk, socialize, eat and sleep healthy. Be creative, learn something etc. Just find one thing, and then satrt doing it everyday. Do that one new life changing thing, if a debate opens in your head immediately conclude with "Well I'll just do it and then I have done it"

It's both as difficult and as easy as just start changing. The impossible mountaintop is just in your head, your body is more than able to start being healthy. Your mind just derails it with comfort, even if that comfort is harmful. So cut down on the drugs. They only help you in staying put.

hold on, so your mother wasnt the only person you were keeping in totch with?

Everyone with half a brain is depressed, op. How can you not be in this backwards world? Most of us recognize this and see the gift that we have been given. Listen to the song Art of dying by Gojira. If you kys now, you'll miss out on so much big shit.

Get a dog, take it for walks at night, early morning, slowly build up fron this, also dog can be your fuck buddy

>does drugs
>sees a drug dealer regularly
>whines about social anxiety to Sup Forums

How do you fail this hard OP?

Well, the only real life person I kept in touch with.

> not knowing about the darknet

that sucks. no wonder you got anxiety or depression. life is meaningless if you dont share it with someone. w/e. how does feeling high on drugs feel? i've never tried any, but still curious to hear about it

See a doctor, get a Prozac prescription. You're in desperate need of an MAO inhibitor.

FYI caffeine is a drug.

thanks for informing me. but i dont drink coffee anyway

It's also found in chocolate and a few other things, but now I'm just splitting hairs.

Man, if you could only try the stuff I brew.
My friend quit heroin and suboxies because of my stuff.

You down in Florida?