Confess

Confess...

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I'm gay

I’m not religious; however, I am principled.
I have thrown everything away despite it being handed to me, and have gotten in between husband and wife, thinking that I was doing the right thing, among other acts. I understand now that those heinous acts became a reality due to my low intelligence, and the shared blood of a responsible people muddled with murderers, criminals, and rapists. I seek not forgiveness, but instead—with my forthcoming death—I hope to rectify the actions of my parents, and wash clean the poison which I instilled in this earth, and it’s people.

I jerked off to some of the Larry Nassar "victim's" statements

same

Wow so eloquently spoken. You truly are a gentleman.

NO! I simply can't! Is this pasta?

I masturbated to porn I found on the deep web involving two 6 year old boys in bondage gear fellatating a horse until it came all over their faces.

...

get help...

Father, I am fucked up in the head.

Link or get out

edgy

I binge-watched 7 seasons of Family Guy before I realized it's not funny at all

here's one not for ants

no

...

LINKY OR YOU STINKY

I am a swindler. That is how I make a living. Once I convinced a simple family man I can
make him huge profits and he took a loan of
5-year salaries and gave me the money.

I dissapeared with that money and never even
gave it a second thought. Today I heard that
man had lost his house because of that. His
wife and kids left him and he is homeless now.

I never felt bad about anything, but this disturbed me.

good

okay then...

I sucked a dick but I'm not gay. I kissed some guys too. I'm not gay tho.

Go to my cousins house to take creepshots of his daughters. Fucked his ol lady a few years back, she’s still sprung on that and she knows what i do, and lets it happen.

and... i'm out

My wife has cerebral palsy. Occasionally she gets upset because she thinks she's not good enough for me and that I'l leave her. I've had a few people tell me I'd be better off if I left her and found someone hotter and healthier.

Fucked my granny, she was 79 blind and on medication. This is how i threat old people. I'm fucked up in mind.... Peace fags! p.s. that was16 years ago and i still can see what i did.

>fist bump

no, tnx, lets have a shot! mindfucke'd alcoholic! peace!

whats the point

How bad is it? Are we talking slight stutter or full blown Walter jr

I'm a member of the secret jewish illuminatti

I was depressed. I went to /b. More depressed at FAIL and AIDS, newfags, neckbeards and whiteknights. Unfunny russians.

Im probably gonna get high on meth and hang myself in the woods

sounds pretty fun tbh

trips confirm

Bad stutter and coordination problems and her hand tremors when she gets cold, but she's otherwise physically fine.

Fuck well i guess im definitely doing it now

thats just sad, man. I wouldn't be able to break things off with her, imagine the pain she'd go through

I don't want to leave her either - I love her more than any anything in the world, but there's more than a few people who think I could do better than my current wife.

bump

They sound like shallow pricks.

It seems like you really love her and you're happy to be with her. Relationships aren't about what you can just selfishly siphon. It's about what you can do for the other too, and it sounds like caring for her is its own reward.

What's "best" is subjective really, and isn't always what's right. Ultimately its your life,and the decision and it's consequences rest on you, so it's with yourself you must converse most deeply.

Now get the fuck out of my thread, do-gooder. You don't belong here.

Father I...
I genuinely liked The Last Jedi

well said

nice digits you queer

i got quads, am i forgiven or...

Last week I busted a nut in a girl's ass and It was not my gf's.

listen to your quads can't save that movie

I unironically find banana posts funny

Dead Star Wars fans are forced to watch it for eternity... IN HELL! I'll reserve you a seat right next to the designated shitting aisle. Seen you soon.

>tfw weeb shit
>tfw porn I found on the deep web
>tfw underaged

>I busted a nut in a girl's ass and It was not my gf's.

Who's nut was it that you busted? And why does your gf have a nut to bust? Have you checked the genitalia of your alleged "gf"? Concerned, bro.

I guess some of my "friends" must be jealous of me since they're always complaining about their relationships.

I fap everyday because of a medical condition, One nut swells up too much and it sucks to walk around with that. Did god just set me up to go to hell or did he just allow me to fap without sin? I dont want to walk around swinging my legs back and forth.

Please respond father.

Stole my cousins panties, used them as a cumrag for months

i secretly want to suck nigger cock

Almost raped my aunt.
>It was midnight both of us watching some film
>she wears pajama with no pants
>maximum boner
>pull my pants off and I stroke my dick under the blanket
>30 mins later
>she fell asleep
>I pulled her panties
>licked her butthole
>oh god this is wrong
>ended up sleeping beside her
She's 5 years apart from me btw, and I was 13 years old.

Are you familiar with the analogy about the crabs in a bucket, user? If the rest of the crabs see one escaping, they'll pull it back in. Perhaps it's pure hive mindedness, perhaps they think they'll be pulled to freedom. Either way, they're dooming the crab to the fate of the majority.

Humans can be like that too, but when they do it, it's often flavored with malice. Maybe they figure the shit will stink less if you're down there in it with them. Another set of lungs to lighten the burden. The souls in this bucket were such folk in their earthly life. Fitting right?

He was hot for a 12 year old

#metoo

...

Should've done it dude.

Father, I need some input. I think I became BI after my girlfriend died and I ended up pushing every girl who showed interest away out of fear that they would die as well. I then met a trap online and we started dating. Since then he ditched his girly clothes and cut his long hair and now he's just a cute boy and now I'm in love again. But I don't know if I actually love him or not. Its been 4 years since she died and I've been deprived of any affection, and I'm afraid that I'm just with him because he has given me the love and affection that I miss and need.

>wife
>cerebral palsy
was your honeymoon an episode of braking bad?

That describes them pretty well.
She has a different type of CP which isn't as bad as Walt Jr's, and our honey moon was 2 weeks of tantric sex and teaching her to swim.

its the jews

I am a theist who can't say what I believe in public.

sounds like you actually liked it
It's okay user, it's good for falling asleep, drunk or high watching

Don't worry, you're not bi. You're a full on homosexual, congrats

Brandon?

I somewhat agree. Very rarely a banana post is well executed and funny.

>this happened

>hell is watching the greatest movie ever made for eternity
Where do I sign up?

You've never actually witnessed crabs in a bucket. Lol
I understand, not many people get that experience these days.

Lobsters actually have very similar brains to humans. Go figure.

Aren't carbon based brains all similar in a way?

>Ever heard the analogy of the crabs in a bucket?
>Lobsters
Fuck, I'm retarded

>was your honeymoon an episode of braking bad?
my sides

Hmm. We have you signed up for an eternity of licking the windows of the inverted Burj Khalifa in Sunken Dubai. At least there's a lot to see going on in the rooms... on the rare occasions your eyes grow back... because of the acid rain and razor shard dust storms etc

Yes, but Lobsters brains actually work in the exact same way as human brains. They have hierarchies, and they're so similar to us that things such as antidepressants work on them just as well as they do on us. My point is moot anyways, because apparantly the words 'crabs' and 'lobsters' look similar to me

I married my wife only because I think she is beneath me

Cool man, but I'm actually more of a obsidian shard dust storm guy. I just don't find razors sharp enough. Also I could do without the eyes. I've seen enough shit in life.

Guess what m8.
Antidepressants work in a whole lot of animals rather than just lobsters. I appreciate that someone does the boring work of researching into one animal their entire life. So thank bud.

Get Out you satanic piece of shit.

Oh look class! We've got a marine biologist joining us to day! Whaaaat a treat. Why don't you come up the the front here and bend over so we can show the class what a Levithling does when it feels threatened by smart asses smart assing all over the place.

I'm pretty sure I raped my best friend. It's difficult to type out and feels really strange saying it.
Both times, I started touching her while she was asleep. She gets pretty loud and sexual when she sleeps, so I didn't really know if she was asleep or just out of it and moany. The first time, I fingered her when I thought she was awake, but I guess it was actually a wake-up orgasm. She didn't seem angry. She actually thanked me, offered me a blowjob, went on a walk with me, blew me, and came back and watched cartoons with me. So I thought that was all good.
The second time, we were both drunk and I started cuddling with her and nuzzling while she was asleep. Again, she moaned and writhed and seemed to respond, so I thought she was awake. So then I started fingering her, then I bent her over the bed and began having sex with her. The only things she said were things like "harder," and she helped me penetrate her manually after I slipped out of her, so I thought all was good.
Turned out she was asleep when I started and woke up pretty much the instant I put it in. She said it was confusing and she didn't know what to do or whether she wanted it once it started, but it was happening.
What's weird about it is how not-mad she is. I feel bad and like I took advantage of her, and I've been going out of my way to not be a damned predator with her when we cuddle or hang out. She still hangs out with me and calls me and picks me up and invites me over and buys me stuff and cooks for me and all that. We even still sleep together. She said she didn't "feel raped," but that if it had been somebody else fucking her it would've been rape and I should be careful with other girls because they'll get me in trouble.
I don't understand how she even feels safe around me, and I feel like a fucking creep. She's one of the nicest, most generous, most nurturing, most genuine people I know and I'm pretty sure I raped her. If I had done that to anybody else, I'd probably be in jail.

Why don't you go ahead and make me there, your Rolly-Poliness?

Love ur work father

How does sex work with someone like her?

where they at i want to read

...

I've been spamming this link just so my friend could get views and be excited and buy me a drink tomorrow and I'll post it here also because I really really need a drink but am broke

youtube.com/watch?v=zBW0KgO8gGI

>I raped my best friend
>she said harder while fucking

Are you fucking idiot? Fuck her again.

Who are you telling to fuck off? Satan monk here just counselled a guy about his marriage and BTFO'd a last jedi dick rider. I would like to see you do half of that, you lousy excuse of a spiritual healer

SJW here

I've been drunk for over 10 years because I can not have fun otherwise. Everyone is just boring without booze to me no one does anything worth mentioning or talks about anything worth talking about or does anything worth doing. Everytime i sober up i realize this and just go back in

Don't get me started nigger.

I kinda have a crush on my female friend, but she's leaving the city on Thursday

I'm not suggesting that you will or have thought about it, but please don't leave your wife for someone else because of her cerebral palsy, whenever your wife gets upset reassure her that you love her, and whenever anyone suggest you leave her, defend your wife by telling the other people to shut the fuck up about your wife.

I'm not even an SJW. The opposite, actually. I actually feel like I raped her, though, and it feels weird that she's not mad about it. She called it a "mishap" and said that it wasn't even worth being upset over.

liar

Go for it man, I've been there and missed my chance. You'll be sorry trust me

I could be way off here, but perhaps you're being a bit.. Magoo?! Maybe she wants an actual relationship, or at least FWB setup with you? Seeing as she hangs out with you all the time and cooks for you and buys you shit and was nonchalant about you fucking her, going so far as to advise caution with 'other girls'? ... That is assuming this isn't a LARP of course.

Consider changing your surroundings somewhat. Find what is enjoyable, and those you find interesting to be with, without the booze. There's a good chance they're out there. You could just be stuck in a big fucking rut. It maybe difficult to do, but it'll be more rewarding than sinking into this pit.

Although drinking yourself to death means having to put up with less shit for a shorter amount of time, so whatever.