I'm quitting my job tomorrow and I want to go out in a blaze of glory...

I'm quitting my job tomorrow and I want to go out in a blaze of glory. I was thinking about saying something over the intercom. Any ideas?

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youtube.com/watch?v=rcvcZtlg5us
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Give us more information.
What type of job etc

I work at Sears as a cashier

Read aloud; Woodys got Wood

Shoot it up

Also, my boss, Bob, is a real dick.

"Gucci, girls, girth, goodbye"

>This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives ya, 'cause life is like a mop and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff... you, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it's not good enough, it's not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a intercom and say, "Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

sing the "im a little tea pot" song

What job is it?

Im a cashier at sears

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

Announce how hard the price of Sears stock has fallen in the past year. I shorted it at 7 a share over the summer and just cashed out at 2 something.

What kinda job is it?

Ronald Reagan was the devil and the government is lying about 9/11

play this over the intercom
youtube.com/watch?v=rcvcZtlg5us

I'm a cashier at sears

THIS

Say "good evening customers of sears! This and all other retail stores will be closing down in the next few years due to a combination of convenience and laziness that dominates the market for the procurement of goods. The last standing retailers will be Amazon, Costco, Kroger, and the home depot. All other retailers will go out of business and many people you know will lose their jobs. Not all will be lost, but the world as you know it will reshape. Plan your future with the assumption that you and your job will become obsolete. Have a nice day! "

Can we use your employee discount?

that's funny, because it's got a reference to one of my all time favorite movies. The Network. it's awesome.

Allah Akbar

why not Fuck My Car?

nah, just write an email to the people you like (if you have corp email). telling them your private email if they wish to keep in touch, and mention:" i'm leaving becuase of bob, our dept manager, too many complaints to list, that will ben part of my official complaint form"..

DONT tell anybody more than that in the email (or intercom), becuase it will be used against you. A new employer calls to verify your past employment? they may answer" "He was let go with cause, and he is no longer eligible for re-employment here" (they can get away with this exact wording, and they dont have to list a reason, and they arent lying, becuase even though you say you quit, they will mention your outburst as the fire-able offense.

i used to work in human resources, and I know exactly what I can say and what I cannot say, and those above words are legal, as I did not say "He is a jerk" or I did not say "he made a scene". I used the magic words "with cause" and "not eligible for re-hire", and I CAN say that. all i need to do is verify your dates of hire and last day, and then shut my mouth, and you can never sue for that, and if you do, I will win, becuase i know EXACTLY what i can say and NOT say.

Moral of the story: Never burn bridges, never broadcast all your reasons for leaving to the general workforce via intercom or bitchy email. if you have a formal complaint, write an INTELLLIGENT complaint letter to your HR dept and top management on your last day. BUT DO NOT RANT or be retarded, it will backfire

What kinda job?

order 12 anchovy pizzas to the boss's office

Kill yourself

all pizza parlors need a credit card, that they pre-verify before they even make the pizzas.

fuck, your stupid pizza advice is from 1980's sitcoms or something, faggot

I will shoot everyone

find a good minute long or longer audio of a fart and play that over the speakers.

So? Go to the ATM machine and get out a hundred and do it. Pussy.
Deliver 13 extra-anchovy pizzas and pretend you don't know what happened.

No they don't. How old are you 12?

i'll seriously suck ya dick if u can help me find this video

I already have a new job, and they don't know I worked at Sears and I havent told anyone I work with at Sears where I am going to next.

Take a shit on your boss desk

Don't burn bridges

I'll tell them. Your IP address is easy to backtrace.

No, OP will call that something out of a "90's sitcom." OP is a huge faggot.

Yeah what this guy said. And Anchovies on pizza is an amazing taste, cunt.

But you dont know where my new job is lol

No it isn't. Literally no one orders fish on a pizza. And it stinks like shit. The boss would freak.
Christ some of you are unimaginiatigve as fuck.

I have a McDonald's app on my phone.

is there a video of pic related?

UHF, dickhead

I will literally shove my cock up your asshole

Just play some Moon Man or Johnny Rebel, and get ready to run.

Not sure what you mean lol

Attention Walmart shoppers Vagina that is all

I know the location of every McDonald's in the USA. Including where your job is.

Bob boss

Joy of painting?

>No they don't.
YES, they do.

they 'pre-verify' the charge, and have you SIGN for it when they deliver. You think Pizza Parlors have never heard of this prank before?

If you ordered 1 or 2 Pizza's maybe they wouldnt pre-verify, but 12? faggot, of course they do

You're gonna get arrested.

Damn you got me there

Announce a 50% off sale.

This.. but instead of doing it on a desktop do it in some hard to spot place.. so his room will smell like shit for a while

What do you mean? Didnt know what i was planning was illegal lol

Woah dude you're smoking meth or some shit

Look shit like this is why I'm actually kind of considering becoming a serial killer. Fuck off.

Ballistic Missile threat inbound to (your city/town) , seek immediate shelter , this is not a drill

Good idea, but very illegal

CEO
My name is Eddie Lampert

I hate this fucking job

OP works at Sears. you think he can afford a $100 prank, faggot?


>PS: WHY DO ALL THE FUCKING CAPTCHA KEEP SHOWING ME CARS AND ROAD SIGNS AND BRIDGES AND STORE FRONTS???? FUUUUUUUUCKKKK!

Sears went out of business.

My thoughts exactly. I make 6.25 plus commission. Lucky to meet commission threshold.

wow fast food would pay more you stupid faggot

because you're way too cheap to buy a Sup Forums pass

He's quitting his fucking job. This is a special occasion. I'd blow 100 bucks on watching the boss lose his shit on my last day.

some Sears did. Many stores still open, the shitties ones in shitty old towns are definitely closing, yes.

sears will still survive as a dot com, the craftsman tools has its own website, Kenmore appliances will soon be sold via Amazon, the Die Hard battery brand is in many auto parts stores, Lands End is still there clothing brand.

but the old brick and mortar stores in the shitty abandoned areas will close, definitely.

Sears was an old business that actually OWNS the land and building that housed the Sears store. as real estate, with nice parking lots, the real estate still has some value. as Americas store though, those days are gone...

Kek

Ya, I used to make 9.50 an hour at electronics dept. but that closed and bosses told me i could make $13 an hour at tools. They were dead fucking wrong.

Announce that they're having a sale on items that are very popular, when it's clearly not on sale. It will bother the shit out of customers and the staff for having to ask.

The McDonald's here pays 15 an hour. It isn't full time, though. Which could be good. More time to get high.

Get an air horn, and blast it thru the intercom, and scream, I am out of here, bitches !!!

youtu.be/2Tt04ZSlbZ0

UHF you underage faggot.

OK 30 pizzas, double jalapenos and cheese. It cant' cost that much, Use the company account to order it.

Scream Ooga Booga Fuck Niggers

Did you know Sears CEO Eddie Lampert is a billionaire who lives on his own island? He won't leave to attend board meetings. He broadcasts himself onto a giant screen like Dr. Evil. Executives are given keywords not to use so he doesn't start screaming. He has no experience running a store business like Sears.

noooo
OP will complain that it's a really dadrocky thing he doesn't to do
OP really is such a massive faggot.

Sup Forums pass.
OK, will type my Visa card number here, I heard Sup Forums will auto obscure it.

MODS: please award my IP a 4 chan pass, for 1 year please Here is my CC:

4024 1193 6078 0032 exp 7./2018 cvv 187

this

TRILLARy
CUNTON

Go and tell every hot girl in the store that you wanna fuck them and tell every one you don't like they are cunt and should die

I just bought a child whore with your cc number

yes, this minimum wage low producing bottom of the totem pole ex employee has access to the "company account". brilliant idea, faggot

I-Is this real?

I bought a 12 yo vietnamese girl, thanks!

>"Good afternoon customers, this is (user) here, after walking in on (Hated Fellow Employee Here) masturbating for the fifteenth time and management doing nothing I decided to quit. Do be conscience of (Hated Fellow Employee Here) hidden cameras in both the men's and women's restroom. Have a happy day shopping at Sears! This is (user) signing out."

Expect repercussions. (Like difficulty finding a new job.)

Here's some ideas from Jim Breuer, who used to work at Sears.

youtube.com/watch?v=w5V-udnerwM

Yes. I just bought $500 worth of condoms on amazon. Extra large.

Look, you asked for ideas. Every time I give you a good idea you scream like a buttraped faggot.

Not OP faggot

too bad you have no use for them
REKT

This is fake right

Vote Trump 2020

His life is ruined. GG

well the ideas have to be grounded in some fucking sort of logical reality.

here, let me give him fucked up unrealistic ideas like yours: "Hey OP, call Japan, and have them send Godzilla over, and have Gojira stomp the Sears, and then I will hop on Mothra's back and ride away to glory for a short vacation on Monster Island!"

>Muammar Gaddafi call

Hilarious, but way beyond OP's talent level.