Tfw you were the kid that always got picked to play goalie in the school yard soccer game

>tfw you were the kid that always got picked to play goalie in the school yard soccer game

>not playing arquero araña

>tfw you are the kid that couldnt climb the rope in sports class

you play soccer in Canada?
wtf

>tfw wanted to in goal because was good
>tfw was always top 5 pick during games because was good in goal
felt good desu

that means that you're fat

only fat kids get picked for goalie

>tfw absolute pacewhore
>entire gameplan was lobbing it long to me

I always wanted to be goalie since I had to move the least

>tfw too shy to celebrate a goal without looking awkward
>always tried my best to assist another player because of it

> tfw blue-carded for a few bad words

I always got picked to play at centre back, despite being skinny and average in height

I'm a decent passer and just wanted to go in midfield dammit

...

tfw a kid volunteers to play goalie for soccer but he keeps making hockey goalie saves and eventually breaks his orbital bone because I got tired of his shit

>not wanting to play goalie everytime

this
>not performing an awesome save and accepting your teammates' compliments
literally best feel

although making a stupid mistake and losing the game is nightmare-tier

all of these, the best part about being in the goal is blaming the defence

you fucking cunt
I hate you

>leting the ball pass between your legs into the goal

just kill me

>tfw you were the 15 cm taller than the rest, no technical ability, elbow everyone midfielder

>tfw you were the only one that didn't get to play goalie because you had too much endurance so he always made you a midfielder
>tfw you just wanted to be goalie

>defender passes it back to you and you lose it

were you at least good at it?

>that freestyling douchebag pacemerchant that was only there because of his flashy youtube-tier dribbles and tekkers and was otherwise completely illiterate on all matters strategy and downright retarded when it came to team tactics

Was anyone else this asshole?

>Tfw you learnt to toe poke before the other kids and got picked first every time just because of it

lose the ball because you have no touch and cant dribble

in our town we had this rule thath we changed goalie at every conceded goal, rotating among everyone

no need to be said, nobody put a lot effort playing as a goalie

just remembered
>stray ball flying from afar
>ez pickup
>somehow it rotates around your hands and escapes into the net
I really try to block these memories

I was, but I was pretty good though

>when you lose count of the goals so you just reset back to 0-0

>Good touch, strong power kick, able to run people down and make a play on the ball
>school has no soccer team
>always made a Keeper even though I sucked

>tfw you finally decide to celebrate
>everyone stares at you like you're a complete fucking psychopath

>mfw i was always the most athletic, intelligent, and best looking

feels good man

...

>was

and yet here you are

I played always as a goalie, I always go after the ball really hard, once I broke the leg of a classmate

who /midfield/ here
the only goal I remember was my first but it was a stunner

Wow did you get in shit for that?

I was a lanklet (by Mexican standards), so fuck you

Attacking midfielder checking in.

>get put on defender
>they do not trust me enough to play goalie
>a midfielder would stay back and play defensively on my side

>not doing "el ultimo en tocar el palo se mete"

>tfw tap-in & header man

>lanklet by mexican standards
so you're like 1.71 tall

people usually just volunteered to be goalie where i'm from
might explain it kek

No, because it was his own fault, we were in the penalty area when this happened, one of our defenders kicked the ball to me to move the ball to the middlefield, he was the only guy from the opposite team in our field side, then that fucker run straight to me and jumped trying to hit the ball with his head, I grabbed the ball in the air with my hands, in mid air I pushed him with my body, he tried to land with his left leg but I fell over him and his leg just broke, with a loud sound.
I didn't even got a yellow card because of that, after that, our gym teacher called an ambulance and send him to the nearest hospital, we still finished that game and we won by 3-0. The next day my homeroom teacher call me to the principal office, my classmate, his mother, the gym teacher and the principal were there, I had to wait outside the office for like one hour for my mom, in the end they tried to force my mom to pay for the medicals costs and his mother was asking for my expulsion of the school because of a supposed violent behaviour in a sport match, but my gym teacher defended me, in the end nothing happened to me, I got the nickname "rompe huesos" from my classmates, the guy who broked his leg end up missing the rest of the semester and changed school. I was 13 years old when this happened

>soccer
what kind of faggot school did you go to?

>playing goalie
>coed youth league
>huge, fat girl on the other team, easily twice the size of the smallest players on the field
>for some reason the she beast is on offense and she's lazily bringing the ball right at me
>as soon as she enters the box, I dive headfirst into her legs, knocking her down
>I effortlessly pick up the ball and punt it out.
>I turn around to see the beast has been slain. she's on the ground crying
>ref stops the game momentarily, the beast wobbles off the field
>she's not seriously injured, just BTFO and fat/sad
>i do not get in trouble but instead receive congratulatory pats on the back from my teammates
>highlight of my soccer career

>you were always picked first in dodgeball

>tfw you were the kid who coach always raped

>tfw always tried to score a blooter and would never try and get the ball when i miss it

>tfw you were the small late boomer kid with immense pace and nothing else
>scrappy goals left right and center because i was so skinny i couldnt kick the ball hard

now 6'2" technically sound müller-esque player. still only score scrappy goals