It's a Truman wipes his boogers on the underside of the bed episode

>it's a Truman wipes his boogers on the underside of the bed episode

>not eating them
they're actually very delicious

>that episode where he found stuff around the house to shove up his butt

>Truman Show #2 when T_T

>it's a truman uses his 360 controller as a vibrator for 2 hours scene

>its a truman shaves his asshole and posts pictures on an anonymous imageboard wearing thigh-highs episode

>It's a Truman debates eating a dozen Oreos episode

>it's a Truman finds a tonsil stone in his mouth, smashes it between his fingers and smells it episode

i've eaten entire bags without a second thought

i bet i'm diabetic and don't know it

>its a truman tries to flirt with his 13 year old niece episode

>it's a truman lays in bed farts into his open palm, makes a fist then wafts it up his nose episode

> It's truman ejaculates on his belly and goes back to browsing anonymous imageboard without cleaning it up episode

HOW DID THIS GOT ME WHAT THE FUCK
t. Truman

>it's a truman open 45 tabs of porn and sifts through them for 2 hours until he finds something appropriate and cums in a minute episode

>it's a truman most likely has hemorrhoids and one of them bursts causing him to find fresh blood on his TP no matter for how long he wipes for a whole day but he's too embarrassed to go see a doctor about it because he imagines how they'll be examining him down there

Why would you see doctor about some blood on TP? I bleed from my anus quite often and I'm fine.

The doc sticks a rod up your bum

This is very serious. See a doctor ASAP.
You have butt aids

Truman assumes the hemorrhoids won't go away just like that and it'd probably be better to have them taken care of now before they reach a later stadium where they prolapse or some shit

I had bright blood on my TP after wiping once but I'm pretty sure that's normal

>it's a "truman contemplates the fact that he will continue to sit in his room for the next few decades while his remaining family members grow older and sicker until eventually dying an excruciating alcohol-related death" episode

Yeah it seems normal. People panic when they see blood for no reason. We're full of it, I think it's quite normal some of it will spill from time to time

guess the internet makes it too easy to confuse you and make you think you've got a serious illness

>find blood in nostril
>google it
>"it's cancer"

>it's a Truman roofies and rapes an underage Asian girl episode
He went a bit to far when he forced her to have his child honestly, and the rape scene did not have to be 3 hours long

I don't believe Truman did that, I think Truman needs to stay close to the truth

maybe once or twice
but if you wipe for 40 mins and every TP is red (not soaked, but still) and then I doubt that is normal

>it's a Truman makes a fake vagina out of corn starch, water and a plastic glove episode

Season 3 episode 5
Easter special

>it's a "truman hesitantly masturbates to a female coworkers tits on facebook and feels a deep sense of shame after cumming, so goes to take a shower, but then in the shower he fashions a fuck toy out of a shower scrub and foot scrubber and uses it to masturbate again in the shower. then goes to sleep but masturbates to the same picture again the following evening" episode

>it's a Truman has a go at his onahole at 3am and contemplates suicide while cleaning his semen and lube out of it in the bathroom by candle light

it was a real mood piece type episode

>It's a "made up story about Jim Carey's character Truman in the hit film The Truman Show in which the character played by Carey is depicted as being oddly behaved and pathetic as well as uncleanly or as a blatant murder/rapist other severe criminal" Sup Forums thread

>wiping them
>not eating them

>it's a Truman holds his shit in for over a week to let it all out at once episode

>it's a Truman licks his own ass hole episode
I still can't believe he did it, how the fuck did his back not shatter?

oddly specific tbqh

I am a 31 year old Data Analyst for a major Media company with a solid 8 out of 10 wife and 2 kids and I still eat my boogers.

>it's a truman buys a cucumber and some salad dressing to make it look like he's not buying the cucumber purely for prostate stimulation during masturbation and has about three too many bottles of salad dressing at home now.

I always buy carrots and pack of condoms, when cashier acts oddly I tell her It's for my rabbit

you REALLY wanted to fuck that rabbit

faggots and women have so much shit to masturbate with lying around
fucking bs

do you have a 360 controller?

plug that shit in and get x360ce

it's amazing

dude i held controllers on my dick when I was like 12 i have a real cock now i need movement

My doctor didn't even need to look at them to know it was hemorrhoids and prescribed me a very effective and cheap medication just by asking questions.
Same with my prostatitis.
Two embarrassing health problems healed in a month or two just by taking to a doctor and taking light meds.

you can masturbate while using the vibration m8

Why not just put something in your ass? It feels great.

true enough
eh i experimented in the shower a few times not my cup of tea. not even remotely gay just realistic about prostates.

it can take a few times to figure it out, but i still prefer fapping normally with a vibrator on benis

Can we make Truman show a reality?

>it's a Truman masturbates for so long he literally rubs it raw and he has to take a break and rub neosporin on his dick until it heals episode

I was finding blood on the tp and that it hurt to wipe. So I started bringing my soft tp from home to work(where I poop the most) and the problem took care of its self. Which makes sense since the stuff my work gives us is practically see thru sand paper.

>it's a kikes brainwash truman's parent's into cutting parts of his penis off for no reason episode

I hate you. gkys

>it's a truman shits but there are still chunks of shit in his asshole so he fingers them out by hand episode

Wouldnt it be awesome if there was a show like the Truman show but with a girl, and you got to see her masturbate and go to the bathroom.

>it's a Truman edges for more than 2 hours without using lube and ignores the pain that slowly builds up on his dick and now has scars on his glands and masturbation is 50% less pleasurable.

Seriously guys,even if your aren't circumcised,don't edge without using lube

yeah i been there, bud ;)

>it's a Truman rants for hours on end to his wife about the global Zionist takeover episode

I've had my balls rub raw once. I wasn't jacking it or anything and the rash hurt like a motherfucker.

lmao, i've fapped for 12 hours straight before dry and my dick is still fresh