In the military never had a piss test just had a blunt the other day and got a phone call today to come in tomorrow for...

In the military never had a piss test just had a blunt the other day and got a phone call today to come in tomorrow for a random piss test
Wat i do Sup Forums

Get a friends piss

which branch

You had to have a piss test in Boot, its mandatory. Also, they don't call you the night before. You get notified in the morning and have 30 minutes to report directly to urinalysis.

Take a bunch of meth and dink a lot of water to speed up your metabolism and flush out the pot

quit making up stories on the internet.

Airforce so i know im fucked

Probably a dumbass maintainer...

Get a friend to piss in your mouth, then go in ans spit out the piss!

A perfect plan!

First weed in over a month? You'll be fine.

You deserve to get DD'd you piece of trash.

Meth isn’t picked up in these tests and speeds up the metabolism. Smoke it and drink lots of water.

This

This guys this

You're dumb as fuck. Enjoy your dishonorable discharge.

The military is for faggots. You'll be glad you're out

>In the military
You were fucked well before the blunt

Stream yourself an heroing

Obey these numbers.

get ready to do 45/45 and get an OTH discharge.

i pissed hot in the army as a SGT (E-5), got busted to E-4 and did 30 days of extra duty. but i got an honorable with full benefits because my first sergeant made sure i didn't get chaptered out before ETS, kek. god bless him.

nigger detected. or just some random liberal

Enjoy your discharge idiot!

>In the military never had a piss test just had a blunt the other day and got a phone call today to come in tomorrow for a random piss test
>Wat i do Sup Forums

For a start, learn to use periods, you dumb fuck. What is this, kiddie hour?

This.
OP is a horse cock connoisseur.

This. Also eat about 10 poppy seed rolls.

Dilute piss by drinking lots, not too much though because the testers watch for this.
Also, have some B vitamins eg Berocca, so your piss becomes yellow, when it would normally be clear.

Also a top tip, give no indication that you're nervous or doubt you will pass. With a borderline pass, this influences the tester to go towards a pass. There are little lines a little like a pregnancy test, but they have to be a certain darkness to pass, but if they are quite faint but you're confident, the tester will probably just pass you instead of waiting a few minutes to see if the lines darken

>Thanks for your service, please kill a Muslim for us

/fucking this

Why make up such a stupid fucking story?

I dont know much about this sort of thing but lemme just make the point that he may not be in the military that you're thinking of, i mean believe it or not most country's have a military of some description and OP hasnt clarified what country he is from

Not sure what military branch your in but in the Army somebody has to litterally watch your dick as you piss into a bottle, which is then sealed in your presence and sent off to a lab where they test it for pretty much everything.

Also kill yourself, fucking retard.

One less retard with a gun to worry about.

>Kid who used to eat paste in school
>Just got the keys to the tank