Hey Sup Forums, why can i only get off on my memories of being raped by my (now ex-)step father...

hey Sup Forums, why can i only get off on my memories of being raped by my (now ex-)step father? is it normal for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to be aroused by the memories of their own violation?

i lived with him from the ages of 5-15 and the thought of/memories of him raping me then and also of him doing it now (impossible, i'm across the country now) turn me on like nothing else can. i also sometimes think of fucking my biological father, who as far as i know never abused me, but has never been in the picture.

is this just a coincidental kink or am i actually disturbed?

I dunno man, I dunno bro you do you man you do you like if you get off to your father thats on you bro thats on you
like i gotta leave right now tho do you mind? like it aint because of what you said i just gotta do some laundry

Have fun with your laundry. OP are you a girl or a boy???

i'm a girl, probably should have specified that lol

>bioLOGical

best response

Its actually very common

yeah, that's what i've read, that it's like a "coping method" or whatever. but it doesn't really feel like that, if that makes sense. i feel really bad about myself after i orgasm but it's almost like i'm addicted, i can't stop

Im very sorry to hear that. Sex is alot like folding a paper. It likes to be folded the same way its been folded before. And yes the more you try to fight it the more itll be ingrained. Your not wierd thou and you shouldn't feel bad and your orgasming still dosent excuse what he did to you

yep, there's a lot of girls, you're right.

Im a licensed therapist not to sound dick but I know I'm right

It's because you liked it

i actually think about that a lot, whether or not i liked it when it was happening. definitely not at first but i think that after a while my mind/body just couldn't take it so in order to cope with it the act itself became enjoyable. mentally i was disgusted but my body felt good, that sort of deal. i mean that happens with rape victims all the time right, their body responds even though they mentally hate it

I'm male and I was molested by my older brother, and I often get off to similar things. I'm also a complete and total faggot.

Dumb bitch deseverd it..

i probably did lmao. i was always a slow kid and i should have known what was happening or told somebody or something.

good to know i'm not alone at least. coincidentally even though i'm a girl and it was my step dad, i'm bisexual now. maybe that had something to do with it

show tits and vagine

Cause u liked it . And want it more

i dunno what i'd do if i saw him again tbh. but he probably wouldn't even want me anymore since i'm not a little girl anymore right?

Wrong he knows he can dominate you and thats what matters most

in my fantasies that's how it goes but i doubt it'd go down like that in real life, or if i'd even want it to. i'm 19 now but still physically on the smaller side and he was always a strong person so he could overwhelm me easily if he wanted to i suppose

It's pretty common OP. But still you should go to a psychologist or something.

What Pajeet said .
And with timestamp of course.

You dont need a pych just a waste of money your just fucked up half the world is just live with it and get use to it

yeah i definitely can't afford a therapist at the moment lol. i've spent the past 4 years trying to get used to it and i've still got a long ways to go but at least there's something right

I mean this site is the last place u should come to for advice of your story is even a little true. Wich i dought.

well obviously i'm aware that posting on Sup Forums is not going to magically cure me of any of my issues lol. just nice to talk about it sometimes and the anonymity is nice too

Well u wanna continue this conve kik me frozenwinterwow

I think it's both a kink and you are disturbed.

When I was 14 my mom's husband started going in my room at night to talk to me. My mom is a doctor and used to work night shifts at the ER, so I was always alone with him.
I didn't think anything of it, until one day I was talking to him about my fears of having sex with boys, that I was afraid they might not like my body. He told me he could judge it and since I didn't know better, I got naked. He told me I was beautiful and asked if there was anything else I was self conscious about. I told him sex in general.
He told me to lay down on the bed, spread my legs open and told me "do you know guys like to kiss girls down there?". I told him I didn't know and I thought it was weird. He went down on me and kept asking me if I liked it. At first I didn't, but then I did.
After that he started going in my bedroom at night at odd hours of the night, even when I was asleep. He'd take off my panties and start licking me. It became our secret thing. I started expecting him to show up and to this day I still masturbate thinking about it. I'd say I'm disturbed, but now it's too late, because it makes me horny.

that seems about right to me, it being both at the same time. "now it's too late, because it makes me horny" hit me hard, geez. it's ridiculous just how much thinking about it turns me on, any other porn or anything just can't compare

easy, you liked back then it but society told you you must feel bad until you felt bad.

Wow you sound like a penis

think it's that simple?

Sounds to me like you're a guy who just got done reading a Literotica story about stop daddy/daughter. Please follow the instructions on the picture provided before we continue this fantasy.

Can we get a pick of op for fap material

If you have a rape fetish that's one thing, but I would try to steer clear of fantasizing about actual incidences of abuse

Get this