Ask a guy who masterbates with eggs anything

Ask a guy who masterbates with eggs anything.

do you draw faces on them and make them watch?

do you warm them up before?
or do you prefer fucking cold and dead eggs?

Do you basically cover your dick in egg yolk and proceed to milk yourself? Have you considered fucking raw dough or ground meat?

No, I just crush it in my hand and use it as lube.
I like it cold, but I'm open to new ideas.
I like the egg white as well. The shell is also really nice as adds a certain feel.

...

It can be a bit painful but it makes cumming even better. I am a bit worried that when a girl wants to suck me off, she'll find bits of egg shell and be weirded out. I'd highly recommend this to everyone.

I imagine this grippy, rough-sandpaper-esque feeling of the egg shells to be quite stimulating.

What about the dough/ground meat idea?

How do you do it? Take me through the process.

I'm open to the idea of using other foods. The idea of using ground meat actually would be quite nice. I could stick my dick inside of the dough but I don't know how I'd feel about that. I wont use pineapple though.

So I grab a large egg from the fridge, crush it in my hand, let it go all over my dick, then masterbate.

pretty easy then

Yeah, I'll try warming up an egg a bit later, and will get back to you with the results. Though I think very little will change.

Don't do it in the microwave...

No, user. Do it in the microwave! Make sure you add extra time just to be sure! Don’t want them half cold and half warm.

You've convinced me. I agree with this guy. Definitely microwave. At least 45 seconds..

Stick eggs in microwave it helps with the lube

That's gone bad for me before. I was starting to get into using eggs when I put one in the microwave. However, I placed an egg in the microwave, and was watching it with anticipation (I was fully erect) when my mum walked in.

Get that salmonella dick

I usually get some eggs, butter, flour and yeast to make a basic dough. Then I let it sit for a while to receive the wanted size/volume of the mass. Afterwards I stuff it in a large soft drink glass, which has a decent size for my fit. Then I simply fuck it.

I have experimented adding different spices to add a certain tingly sensation, but I have yet to figure out the perfect composition.

The process with the ground meat is similar. You heat it up a bit, put it in the described glass and proceed to enjoy yourself.

Double dubs. I seen’t it coming. Gotta do it now, user. Post pic of results and the usage of the afterma— I mean... usage of the now warm egg lube.

Oh shit.. Man then you haven't experienced the full pleasure you need to be experiencing every time you smack it.

I wouldn't have minded cleaning up the mess, it was just embarrassing seeing my mum with an erection. At worst my parents think that I have a fetish for microwaves.

whats cracking OP

>seeing my mom with an erection
>tfw your mother is a man

I noticed that fucking cold (or room temperature) dough is far more enjoyable than warming it up, since the consistency is far better.

That sounds really nice. I can add some extra eggs once the dough is done and make the experience even better.

Yeah, since you mentioned it, Im thinking about adding a few egg shells to the mix the next time I want to have some fun!

A couple of eggs will be soon.

Wait are you both actually serious? Okay.. exactly HOW good is it?

I do like the pain just be careful for cuts and getting some of the shell stuck to your dick.

I haven't used dough as a fleshlight, but using eggs as lube is quite nice.

op is a newfag ive been doing this for years ,i add butter and milk and after im done i bake a cake

Its actually pretty good, dough & ground meat are by far the most enjoyable food items to have sex with. I've tried a lot of things, but nothing seemed to reach this level of enjoyment.

Alright, Ill take care. Thank you!

I'll post pictures in a bit of the eggs I'm going to use and the aftermath. Only my hand, not my dick. There are enough pictures of my dick out there already.
Don't even need to use salt. I could be like that guy who went to that Sup Forums meetup and brought brownies which he had came in. Imagine seeing someone eat your cum without them knowing.
Thank you for your contribution user!

So you’re gonna post raw scrambled eggs basically? Cause you’re about to beat them with your meat as a whisk? Anyone could post raw scrambled egg pics. Time stamp and penis covered in eggs. You know the rules, OP.

Just an idea. I could masterbate with the eggs, then make scrambled eggs out of it.

Bro theyre just eggs before they get scrambled, not raw scrambled eggs

Goddamn OP how did this start? Also include my in the screen cap

that doesn’t sound very eggciting

Nice pun, but it really is. Try it sometime.

I'm trying to upload a timestamp but it keeps on saying the file is too big.

are you howtobasic?

I'm not him, but I really love his work.

are you 12?

are you a faggot?
>yes. yes you are

I am gay so suddenly your insult isn't insulting. Try again

do you fap to his content?

nah

...

I don't get off to eggs. I just like the feel of them. I do envy HowToBasic for having access to that many eggs.

I'm going to go fap now. Keep this thread alive and I'll post the results in about 15 mins.

ah I see. thanks, good day OP

What the fuck is this thread....

They’re just eggs when they come out of the shell man. As soon as you scramble them in a bowl with a whisk or something they’re scrambled eggs. Raw scrambled eggs. A normal egg does not = what you just beat together in a bowl.

You knnow, there is a term for 'raw scrambled eggs' - it's 'beaten eggs'.
For some reason your ignorance really fuckin' annoyed me. Know your eggs.

Okay I'm done.

Post results.

Whatever you wanna call them, I don’t care. More interested in OP’s egg-citing photo debut of masturbatory eggs.

C'mon m8, we need to see this. It's science.

My phone is weird. Give me a couple moments.

...

>I'm open to new ideas.
OP wanna know what I do to get HUGE cums??
It feels awesome

Grab some Bengay or Vic's vapor rub, and mix it with some sand.
Mix it all trhoughly and fap with it furiously while u fuck ur ass with a dildo (also dip it in the mixture before use)

>THANK ME LATER

Sorry for the inaccurate time stamp. I'm a bit confused by the whole 2MB image size limit.

You're a fucking champion

rub some icy hot all over your nads guy

Sure, I'll definitely try that in the future. Have you ever tried shoving a marshmallow up your ass? It feels so creamy as it comes out after 5 mins.

>sand
>nice try you filthy camel jockey

Thank you user. I might try it with dough next week. Depends on how I feel and if you guys want to see it.

>raw scrambled eggs

What's it taste like?

Cook & eat

>ever tried shoving a marshmallow up your ass?
no?
anyone here wanna try it n post results?

rollin
>dubs get

I'm not going to get sick from eating semen and eggs.

There's a lot of shell in it. I don't know about you guys but I hate eating scrambled eggs with shell in it.

gonna try this, shit sounds fucked up but what ever

It's really nice. It might try using rolled oates next week. Either that or dough. You guys can decide.

Now drink some milk and shove a whisk in your ass. Call the new maturation technique The Denny's. Because now it's just a shitty omelet

Are there any other questions? I'll have to sleep soon.

noice

Thank you user. I apologise that my penis isn't fully erect.

no worries, the yolk shaped in a heart above it makes up for it

That was all for you user. No homo though.

>checked
Thank you OP. I saved it, gonna cherish this moment for years to come.

>no homo ofc

You got dubs too. Good job user. I am glad that I can make people happy.

do you eat the eggs after?

Only if I don't use shell. I usually end up scrambling them and eating them with toast.

How to basic, is that you?

No, I'm not HowToBasic. I do like his work though.

>masturbates with eggs
>eggregious

couldn't have done it without your support, OP. from this moment forward, I shall call you eggman

Thanks user. I'll be back maybe next week so hopefully I'll see you. Should be on the 7th of February at around 2am.

Are you HowToBasic?

i will look for you in the catalog. godspeed, eggman. user out

Learn to read dumbass. I've answered this question before.