I'm a Registered Forestry Technician (RT) in Canada. Ask me anything about trees

I'm a Registered Forestry Technician (RT) in Canada. Ask me anything about trees.

Dendrology is weak. Also your job is shit in winter.

What's your favourite tree?

Not true. Winter is the best time to do stuff.
White Pine

Do trees sleep?

No wonder Canada has all the benefits and days off. They literally have the most stupid worthless jobs in the world that affects nothing if everyone takes off

I'm not really sure...flowers do so maybe trees do too?

What you have to know about? Also what schools you need for the qualification?

Forestry is important

It was a 1 year condensed program at a college

why's the devilscane called devilscane?

If all the trees had a fight what tree would win?

The devil uses it as a cane
Probably poplar/aspen

Whats up with the Maple Syrup Cartel you guys got go on?

how would you go about convincing someone to fuck you if when they ask what your job is, you say "trees"?

ok...here's a strange one...I want to turn this car into a treehouse/fort...I would like to do this by parking the vehicle and letting the trees grow under it and lifting...what are some fast growing but string enough to do so???

Banzai tree

no cause it has no leaves in the winter and it's full of spikes, aka aralia elata

I want to believe you...

It's a national resource. We even have a fort knocks of maple syrup.
What women wouldn't want a hard working man who works outside all the time?
Trees don't grow like that. The car will be at the same height and the tree will grow around it.

>and letting the trees grow under it and lifting

Not possible.

Nice trips
And I've noticed most women love calloused hands, so can confirm.

what do you actually do? is it a paying job at all? are you just a glorified gardener or is it more of a woodworking thing?

>amerifat is upset he has 3rd world benefits.

If i fuck a tree will its seeds start to contain tiny bits of my dna????

If trees screamed, would we be so cavalier in cutting them down?

Maybe, if they screamed all the time and for no good reason.

What's the best kind of tree for tree houses

How did you get the tree to move its middle part to the side for the photo?

>i am happy blue collar slave amerilard

Big, wooden ones

Whiter than you Muhammad

Sounds like a feminist

I have two large Eastern Pines in my backyard. The previous owner (dipshit) planted them on a slope. The lower whorls are fine on the downslope side, but pushing into the grass on the upslope. Is it OK to trim just half of the whorl or do I need to do the whole thing? How far up the trunk is ideal?

Minneapolis area. Trees are on the south of my yard and get loads of sun. Lawn is irrigated, so H2O ain't a problem.

You're not wrong

tall ones

OP have you ever met Brother Abernathy?

Currently unemployed, but I was a tree marker. I go around and mark trees to keep and trees to cut. Also put buffer areas around things like birds nests, road layouts, and timber cruising where I make assessments about what could or should be done for a forest.

There are other jobs but that's the stuff I've done. Lots of my college mates went on to do forest fire fighting.
Absolutely. Give it a try.
Rabbits scream but they're eaten all the time
Probably hard maple
Super powers
What's a whorl ?
No

whats the best reference/field guide for learning how to identify trees of North America

I have a hand book called "forest plants of southern Ontario". It's pretty great. Just find one for your specific region.

>america has 4x more mudlisms and 23x more niggers than my country

>What's a whorl ?
Srsly?

A row of branches on a conifer.

>identifying trees
"Hmm yes this is a tree"
Its not so hard that you need a book for it, dingus

Just don't cut the terminal bud (I'm not an arborist)

do you like my tree?

can i have a list of hardwood trees that do not burn well.
Most of cali is in the middle of a planting spree.

No, lol. Poor guy he's supposed to be outside growing straight. Why have you enslaved this poor being?
Most hardwoods don't burn well.

Thank you you have been helpful

Is the emerald ash borer wiping out all the ash trees there? Upstate New York here, ash trees here are all dying or already dead.

Not sure, really. I know it's a problem but there are still plenty of ash trees.

totally serious!!!...but skeptical if possible...I was thinking of a four tree layout with a unifying bracing platform, then position/bend branches underneath to provide additional support...is any of this possible???

man I love the whorl wide web

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound?

A sound is only a sound if it's interpreted by your brain. Otherwise it's just vibrating air. So no.

Everything will burn. It's called the 1000 year fire. Hardwoods are resilient, like oak for example, but they're still made of wood. Wood burns.

Some trees like black spruce actually want to get burned down to distribute their seed.

Why are 100% of the grads from MCFT complete fucking retards?

They only seem like retards because you're too stupid to understand their ways.

How many trees are there? How many have you actually seen?

There are at LEAST 30 trees and I've seen them all.

Nope, we've hired a pile of them and they are hands down the worst employees we get. Constantly bitching about everything, can't figure out anything for themselves, always looking for some way to weasel their way out of actually working hard
If that's your school they need to tighten the fuck up and start failing some of these idiots, they're ruining the reputation right across the country

How do you feel about Algonquin?

a series of branches

have you ever seen a hollow "metalic"tree

I want to get a pet tree. Which one is low maintenance, yet cuddly?

csn i pollinate a tree with my seed?

Only worked with one guy from there, he's good

Ya those are cellphone reception trees, in my country of south africa, they build those in every primary school

Give it a try :^)

For chirstmas?
Plant a giant red cedar in your basement for the luls.
Of course. Get at it.
That's a relief. The head of forestry's wife just died and is going to retire and is looking for a replacement. He really knew his stuff and scared me several times with his bush legs but he's a god awful teacher.

You gonna tap some trees this March?

I don't own a sugar bush

sounds more like your looking for a rock there, fren.

god speed.

can confirm. This user was in my yard a few years ago, look at my tree. High odds he's seen all 30.

>Winter is the best time to do stuff
I also like winter?

I live in a climate belt similar to you.
Where I work we have a place outside where we go to take a piss. It hasn't got much wind but i'm pretty sure we all piss in the same spot.

What seeds could I spread(i'm not gonna dig obviously) that would make a plant that'd do well with regular rainfall + about 1 liter of piss pr day

I saw trailer park boys, you can just tap any old tree and the sweet bastards inside will just come oozing out. May attract cavemen tho

I think most plants like piss

When you move to a new neighborhood do you have to tell everyone youre a registered tree sex offender?

Do you enjoy log posting?

How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

Exactly 23.498. No more, no less.

...

How big are they?

how bout them trees

What do you think is a worse tree to climb, as dead Ash or Willow? jesus i hate tangled ash trees, Utility Trimmer here

>as dead Ash or Willow
yes

Jack Handy detected.

If you could fuck any tree what would you choose?
I'd go with a simple pine tree I assume the tar would succ and grip my dic as I pound a freshly drilled hole.

birch can completely rot up 50% of the bole and still be alive. id say a rotten bitch tree is the worst to climb.

White pine

What would you recommend that would be fun? Again I cba with transplanting and shit. Just seed I buy somewhere and pour on the ground at the spot.

did you, ever, see logan paul?

Did you have to take a soils class? Soils class was the shit.

*mild chuckel*

well done, user

Not Shure just a uk standard pine I see when fishing.
In the summer it's juices flow in the heat fucking whore

What are you guys doing about that wood beetle epidemic that's killing a shit ton of trees?

yeah youre right those suck so bad, my faves are ponderosas, cottonwoods and a well kept Russian Olive even though theyre pests and i spend most of my working life getting rid of them

Is it possible to rape a tree?
Or be raped by a tree?

best bet is to fell the dead/dying trees thats been affected by beetle kill, and let it run its course. Forests will grow back over time

Slow rape.
>be me
>stand next to tree
>22 years later be raped by branch
>RAEP!