Can someone teach me how to be an asexual-abstaining-anti-social-sociopath-wizard...

Can someone teach me how to be an asexual-abstaining-anti-social-sociopath-wizard? All the girls I've "talked to" have rejected me, on basis of not being right in the head. I know I am ugly and weird. They never admitted it. I've been too forward, and have no friends because of hunting girls. I am in pain. Help. I am broke, and do not have access to health care. How do I attain apathy like everyone else?

OP, I know the feels.

I have things to say, but first I'm stepping out to take a toke. You keep this thread alive and I'll be back to share my own shitty thoughts and opinions in a few minutes.

Oh yeah, btw, I've blossomed past my own shitty unhealthy no friends phase and I intend to share my sage wisdom. Anyway, toke time

Having friends is still kind of gross to me. And you have cooties.

Toke.. Don't tell me.. Mj saved your life, like bro just meditate and exercise... Fuck you..

Fuck meditation and exercise. Why do I long for anyone if I already know I have failed? Fuck hurr durr "we are social creatures", "we all want to be loved", "you are scared of dying alone", "just meditate, exercise". It's bullshit. Why do I seek anything more than a friend, if I know that for a fact I am only ever to be seen as that creep from whence he came.

Fuck. She looks just like someone I went to school with.

Great. Porn.

Friends are overrated. They eat brains and poop on furniture. Is that what you want? Because you can do that too.

How do I even get to the mental state of that..?

Nah, toking's got nothing to do with it. I just smoke weed 'cause I'm a good-for-nothing stoner

So, OK OP. I'm gonna make some assumptions, so maybe I'm wrong, and none of this applies, but I guess my assumption is that you don't actually want to be an asexual-abstaining-anti-social-sociopath-wizard. Rather you've tried really hard not to be, and didn't really experience much if any success at all and so you've decided it's far more worth it to become apathetic as you put it.

Cont...

Time to go cry myself to sleep while I wank one. Somehow, this fucktard still has a job. I need to quit it too. It's plagued with cell dead thots, not joking.

Apathetic is the absence of any and all emotions. You're literally one step away from being a potato.

5meoDMT. Try it and everything will be answered. You're loved user.

If a job hasn't made you apathetic, you haven't found the right wrong one, or you never will be.

Where the fuck would I even get Dmt? I also lack privacy. Moreover, too stupid to even dodge questions about my location correctly.

I assure you I do not intend it to be my dead end.

None of you are as ugly, stupid, or hated as I am, so don't worry, and stop pretending you can relate to make me feel better. I want better for you.

There's several websites that will deliver it to you. Buy a bong and sandwich it inside of oregano. When you take the hit breathe in deep and hold it as long as you can. You only need to use it once.

Edgy.

I live in texas. There's no way in hell I can get either of those things legally.

Side note: I alrwady look like I am perma high on speed.

Legally? These are schedule 1 drugs user. If you're so depressed though then what do you have to lose by trying it? As someone who recovered from depression because of psychedelics you just have to trust me that you have to see it to understand. You have nothing to lose and your life to gain.

If he's in Texas then he can easily get 5 meo in from Mexican dealers. It's quite common in the south, especially Texas.

Bongs are legal if you're of age, you can make them, and there are other sources of DMT. But I wouldn't waste my time. Drugs only make you feel like you have answers or lose your mind. People will always be difficult to tolerate. You should find your own way and not be dependent on them for self-esteem. In fact, don't be dependent on self-esteem, since it's meaningless. Ego is fine, but it's what you do with it that matters, and for others, it seldom matches their realities.

-_-I'm a "Dreamer"

Lose my mind you say.

...or to achieve some point of being numb or achieve some kind of monk shit or whatever.

So anyway, I guess what I really want to do is to encourage you to not give up on that. I've spent a LOOOOT of years just learning to basically socialize, and also work on my emotional health which I found was actually very tied to how i socialized.

I'm diagnosed as autistic (pretty high functioning) and so that's partially why socializing was hard. But through socializing I also promise you, OP that definitely, there are people who would be happy to be friends with you if you're willing to go try and find them.

Also, on that assuming stuff I'm assuming you also have crazy shitty self-esteem and also likely some depression or social anxiety or like at least some stuff.

I know this was all jumbled and poorly structured - I'm high and trying to give impromptu thoughts on Sup Forums.


But anyway, I guess all I'm reallytrying to say is that just giving up on a core aspect of being human - socializing - is not something i think that will help you be happy. I think you'll get a lot more out of addressing your health and continuing to learn to socialize. Neither of them are easy, but both are definitely worth any amount of effort put into them.

I also went through a phase for a few years learning to interact with women without getting completely spergy (and let my emotional anxiety compeltely take over) where I lost a lot of my friends because I was trying to figure out life doing PUA techniques. So I feel that. I also feel it was a necessary phase of my growth.


On the other hand, maybe I'm completely wrong. In that case more power to you in the things you seek in yourlife OP.

Even then though, OP noo matter what you do, I think looking into and taking care of your mental/physical/emotional health would be worth the effort. Shit's big too, trying to figure out what's best to do next, but you have google. Be your own self-help guru

I hope to buy fentanyl one day, and have enough to mix with booze to OD, or do one of those replace O2 replacement quick sleep ways to go out. I just need about two more years and then maybe I will no longer have to live with anyone.

Youre not alone OP

Wouldn't you rather it were painful? I'm not sure I understand. Are you angry, or are you lying about being apathetic? Because if it's difficult, I'd rather climax into the abyss than waste the last of my life feeling nothing. And if you can do that, you can put your emotion to use without much harm. The hard part is finding the outlet.

I hate gurus... Call it as you may, but the way I was raised was to expect and only accept the highest of standards otherwise it is a failure, and that applies to anything.

I am naturally social. I just need to stop caring. I am afflicted with limerence, and it has caused me to lose too much time and focus on something has brought nothing good about me for the past decade.

1. Talk
2. Show interest
3. Round about rejection "we can still be friends user" *FUCK* that
4. Self rejection, pity, loathing
5. Block or ghosted.
6. Rinse and repeat.

I do not want pain. I am not about cause self harm I can come back from with some retarded ass scars, or health problems.

>How do I attain apathy like everyone else?

Hit rock bottom, OP. Break out the cuffs. I did this and lost every hope and delusion that kept me happy. Don't recommend.

Ight. I'm done for tonight. Not sure why I am even trying to get sleep tbh.

Damnit... What cuffs?

Tackled by cops. A fucking ridiculous amount of cops. I think the worst bit about a mental hospital is it's NOT rehab. It's observation.

I kept up the pretense of sanity for 10 days (no pills) until discharged. The waiting is what wrecked me.

But that's bullshit, bro. Not achieving the highest standards isn't failing, it's just not achieving the highest standards. You may have been raised to think in that kind of way, but by no means are you required to continue to believe and live you life by it.

And yeah, man I know both those. I was in love with this girl for like 8 years who I met in high school until my negative behavior (which was largely a result of me not taking responsibilityfor and addressing my mental health issues) killed our friendship.

And I know that 6 step process too, man I've been there for WAAAAY longer than I even thought I was gonna when i first started myjourney. You gotta keep just doing it and continuing to grow yourself as a person.

Here's a secret: It feels like every time you get rejected its a personal failure, but really its not. Every time you you get rejected you were INCREDIBLY successful in that you actually went up to a woman and expressed interest in her. Even normies get nervous and shy up trying to do that. It takes a lot of bravery to hit on women, ESPECIALLY when you know that you're not very good at it, and probably you're gonna get shot down. And furthermore, even if it's hard to see before you start making enough progress, if you're going out and socializing (whether with women in a romantic light or women or men in a friendly way or otherwise) then every time you do go out you ARE collecting experience which will make you into a more effective socializer in the future

Most things worth acquiring in life are not easy or quick to do

I have no energy left. Goodnihgt.

Unfortunately you're not meming, we are social creatures.

Here's the thing though, you don't want to be happy. You want to do well. You want to excel in something.

Just do that and your ass and mind will follow.

Lol, you sound like a bitch. That probably isn't helping

>no energy left for bullshit talking
Hey. I think we hit apathy. Goodnight OP!