Hey Sup Forums

Hey Sup Forums,
What's the most illegal thing that you've done?
>greentext fag

Stole these trips.

I once ate an entire bag of after dinner mints before lunch.

OP, you need to contribute when starting a new thread, faggot.

That's fucked user. Greentext?

Bruh your breaking the system

fucking christ you madman what possessed you to do such a thing

>be me
>be 6 years ago
>be walking on a cloudy day down a bike trail
>bike goes by, nearly hits me
>get idea
>set up a trap and lay in ambush
>bike is coming up the trail, speeding along
>jump out and make a lot of noise
>"PEDAL FASTER FAGGOT"
>dude swerves to avoid me and loses balance
>goes flying into forest
>tfw not wearing helmet
>tree knocks him out, blood starts to pool
>o.shit
>put a few leaves on him to hide him and throw his bike in river
>run away
>story on news next day about a mugging
>someone stole this dudes bike after knocking him out
>for some reason put leaves on him and pissed on him
>tfw never caught

I stole the wheels of a car. A Rover one.

> Be 17
> Find deep web for first time
>within 6 months learn how to create accounts and buy drugs
>traffic 'commercial quantities' of psychedelics and coke into border paranoid country.
>still in school, off my face on LSD every second day, while making fuck tons off selling.

God bless Alphabay, 2015 was still the best year of my life. :^)

>the light was red
>I still walked across the street
>no fucks given
>didn't even get caught
>fuck the police

Took more than one free sample. It still keeps me up at night

When i was a kid I would find the spare keys to cottages that were usually hidden under the deck or in an outhouse. Snuck into a probably 5 cottages but never took anything.

>Confessing to crimes on a board moderated by LEA

Crazy 88.

You're going to have to see a priest to wipe you of your sins. That kind of thing requires a cleaning of the conscience.

I dip chocolate biscuits in Glen's vodka.
It started as a forfeit for loosing a card game and now I enjoy it

Gratz you're now on the 'suspicious dude hiding something' list.

>Be Me
>About 2 years ago
>15 miles from my current location
>Mid-afternoon
>Fully clothed
>Clean socks and briefs
>Waiting to get into a music event
>Sign clearly posted saying "No Smoking or E-Cigarettes within 25 feet of entrance
>Notced entrance within 15 feet
>Vaped downwind from crowd and entrance

Still keeps me up at night from all the guilt

yee boy alphabay

>move to Vegas for a job with best friend
>freelance and gamble all day
>best friend becomes ridiculously good at poker
>to the point where he's teaching me and we're making enough profit to quit.
>Take Adderall daily to maintain focus at tables
>during off table time, adderall gives us cracked out schemes
>decide to seriously plan one out
>initial test run of plan
>go to casino atm/bill breaker machine
>break 100 bill into twenty 5 dollar bills
>wash bills of all ink in chemical
>reprint bills with 20's and 100's
>works but is 7/10 print job at best
>whatever lets try it
>drive out to desert rest stop and gas station
>buy a tank of gas and beef jerky
>stoner kid at register holds 100 bill up to light and sees the strip
>it worked
>we made about 40k in counterfeit money and used it mostly on drugs, hookers and idiots

What's the most illegal thing that you've done?

>Being white.

Get him boys

Shieeeeet, i dindu nuffin, and you cant do shit to me cause im not in your country.

brushed my teeth with ELMEX in the morning!

>Using an apple mac.
>Being in the FBI

Pick one you faggot

Spreading my ex's nudes when I was high on butane, buying/selling drugs, and stealing ~$500 from my friend's family. I don't really know what else

You are a fucking piece of shit that deserves to be savagely beaten.

Charged with a hit and run when I was 19

>Made sure 7 layers of proxies are up before posting this

>Be me kid in mid-twenties
youthiswatedontheyoung.jpeg
>Roll with group of friends that are bad influence looking back
>Plan the biggest scam of the summer
>Visit Burger King
>Sunday afternoon so it's pretty busy with church going folk
>Group of 5 of us enter separately to avoid suspicion
>Trying not to sweat bullets
>Order double Whopper with cheese meal no onion with BBQ sauce sub onion rings for fries
>Hand cashier coupon for buy 1 get 1 free sandwich
Holyfuckletshopethisworks.avi
>Shit goes through
>All friends make it through as well without a hitch
>Run to movie theater
>Pull out movie tickets
>See huge sign that clearly states NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK
shitballs.wmv
>Group walking past usher with pockets stuffed with Whoppers and Onion Rings
>Onion ring smell intensifies
>Onion ring nectar is seeping into my jeans
>Usher asks "Anyone else smell onion rings?"
Fuuuuuuuuu.rar
>Quickly reply "Oh, that's my cologne"
Whew.bat

Made it away free and clear and the kicker? All those coupons for Burger King were a week expired.

Did a game making course when I was 12 rather then going to my grandmothers funeral.

Bought a bunch of weed and intentionally didn't invite mates over because didn't want to share.

Didn't vote for a decade.

How do you get off your face every second day? Are you lying on the internet again rob

None of those things are illegal you absolute pussy
But nice quads regardless

I just got out last year november...

>Be me
>Been into hentai since 9
>Now age 30+ with family and kids
>Police raid my house one day
>My ISP tip them off of my suspicious activity
>Only suspicious activity I ever did was getting a Sup Forums Gold pass
>Live in Australia under Optus contract
>Police took all my device including my Alienware Desktop & Batman Arkham knight Limited Edition PS4 Console
>Was later charged for possessing Child Abuse Material Catergory 6
>Informed that the hentai I collected throughout my years are illegal
>Wasted all my saving for court battle
>Lost my job, wife left me with my son and had to move back and live with my parents
>Fast forward a couple month later, it was my sentence date
>Judge sentence me to 12month in prison
>Cause I'm a sex offender I was put in a different pod from everyone else
>Found out that Sex offender aka Rock spider are not liked in jail at all
>I had fights a few times against other inmates once I transferred into a gaol that has 85% of sex offenders and the rest were small time offender
>15% of the other offender didn't know that its highly compromise of sex offender
>Everyone inside were hiding the fact from them being sex offender and made bullshit charges when asked
>Made a noob mistake and not hide my brief with the screws (Jail officers) and left it in my cell
>Sweeper check'd my cell when we were all out and found my brief
>Showed it to everyone
>ohfuck.jpg
>Fuck plastic gangster
>Alot of fucked up shit happened and had a broken tooth and a couple of cuts with plastic knives, was also got thrown small milk packs mixed with piss at me
>Got transferred to different jail closer to sydney after I broke an inmate arm while he tried to take my buy-up
>Spent the rest of my time at ease in new jail as it was 5 times better
>Now out still unemployed, divorced and hating every australian retarded law
>On the sex offenders list for 14 years thanks to hentai high school girls

Haha mate in Australia these combinative factors get you jailed, locked up, forcefed pills, violence, sickness, and disease from fucking satelites to doctors to schizophrenics in deep military/government harassing you for the rest of your life. Absolute hellhole.

Stole a snickers bar when I was 12. My heart was racing afterwards. I’m still paranoid the police will come and arrest me one day for it. That and skinning the neighbors cat one night and laying it’s naked carcass on their front doorstep

You are the lowest of the low user, you don't even deserve to live in our society.

Aaay

I've downloaded CP

Fucking jesus, that went 0 - 100 real quick.

>I just got out last year november...

>>Be me
>>Been into hentai since 9
>>Now age 30+ with family and kids
>>Police raid my house one day
>>My ISP tip them off of my suspicious activity
>>Only suspicious activity I ever did was getting a Sup Forums Gold pass
>>Live in Australia under Optus contract
>>Police took all my device including my Alienware Desktop & Batman Arkham knight Limited Edition PS4 Console
>>Was later charged for possessing Child Abuse Material Catergory 6
>>Informed that the hentai I collected throughout my years are illegal
>>Wasted all my saving for court battle
>>Lost my job, wife left me with my son and had to move back and live with my parents
>>Fast forward a couple month later, it was my sentence date
>>Judge sentence me to 12month in prison
>>Cause I'm a sex offender I was put in a different pod from everyone else
>>Found out that Sex offender aka Rock spider are not liked in jail at all
>>I had fights a few times against other inmates once I transferred into a gaol that has 85% of sex offenders and the rest were small time offender
% of the other offender didn't know that its highly compromise of sex offender
>>Everyone inside were hiding the fact from them being sex offender and made bullshit charges when asked
>>Made a noob mistake and not hide my brief with the screws (Jail officers) and left it in my cell
>>Sweeper check'd my cell when we were all out and found my brief
>>Showed it to everyone
>>ohfuck.jpg
>>Fuck plastic gangster
>>Alot of fucked up shit happened and had a broken tooth and a couple of cuts with plastic knives, was also got thrown small milk packs mixed with piss at me
>>Got transferred to different jail closer to sydney after I broke an inmate arm while he tried to take my buy-up
>>Spent the rest of my time at ease in new jail as it was 5 times better
>>Now out still unemployed, divorced and hating every australian retarded law

FAKE AND GAY

Well I can't greentext. So here's to owning a new phone.
23 years old - sell a sheet of acid to an undercover. Run through a festival hiding in random tents dropping off drugs upon drugs. Mfw several people went to jail for possession that day.

had consensual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation on our own wedding night

the lights were off and my socks were on

God you fucking disgraceful monster. How your parents must feel.

Kirkconnell was the gaol i was in before i was transferred to long bay

Your ip has been logged. Enjoy getting v& bro

It clearly states after dinner

AFTER

you monster

the 15% are usually young offenders that bail from a program at Oberon youth jail camp and other C1-2-3 minimum prisoners.

But the majority of them are sex offenders

fucken animal

Done or been accused of?

walked into zumiez with my edgyfag friends and walked out with $400 worth of clothes

I used 'literally' to mean 'figuratively'

horse. Shit.

>the 15% are usually young offenders that bail from a program at Oberon youth jail camp and other C1-2-3 minimum prisoners.

>But the majority of them are sex offenders
Autism isn't an excuse to make up a story, why would any country throw you in prison for looking at a cartoon?!

Sold crack and meth amongst "lesser" drugs.
Rode in a drive-by.
Conspiracy to commit armed robbery.
Theft.
Robbery.
House Burglary.
Arson.
> Not a nigger.
Actually, finishing my Master's and plan on perusing the PhD.

In all fairness Australia banned porn with small tits and the cops in Australia will look for any excuse to meet their shitty arrest quotas.

>be me 14
>growing up on a quiet farm in south west England
>always been a good girl
>getting good grades in school
>only wearing long feminine dresses to not corrupt my innocent sould
>always listen to my father lecture me on conservative values
>one day
>playing with my best friend Anna in the woods
>we used to always build treehouses an pretend we were the queen in her castle
>She says: "Come Maggy, let's do something exciting together. Something we've never done before! Let's get out of the woods and play somewhere else!"
>I blush "But Daddy told me to not go beyond the trees... It's dangerous out there!"
>It's slowly getting dark as the sun is setting
>Then Anna starts running "Come Maggy! Follow me!"
>I didn't want to be alone in the forest in the dark so I run behind her
>We run and run, towards the setting sun
>Leaving the trees behind us, we keep running
>I realise we're not in the forest anymore but running through the farmer's fields of wheat
>fuck

Things just haven't been the same ever since...

>filling the quota of missing tits by being a tit
Australian logic, just nuke my shit fam

So, are you saying she licked your pussy? I'm not good with subtext.

> working at a shit PC repair shop
> boss never check the stock
> if something was “missing” he would be extra pissed at everyone.
> had the keys to open it everyday
> one day me and a coworker decided to prank the motherfucker and stole most of the router/modem and some shit, and would get it back in a week
> boss never noticed
> got fired a day before getting everything back because was defending another coworker and he got mad at me
> big pile of useless electronic shit at home
> he never noticed

Let a dog have sex with me from age 12 to early 20s.

ebay the shit

Nice try, officer.

I'm actually looking to get a security clearance pretty soon, and trust me, I deserve it. I'm a good citizen who truly didn do nuffin

In some states, this is still legal
but you should still be ashamed.
check local ordinances.

Probably grow and sell cannabbis, but the most fun illegal thing was drunk trash a random house and car. Wine brings out my italian idiocy.

Hello fellow britfag

Probably when I bought my third 9 year old human trafficked wife in exchange for 2k worth of fentanyl but hey who's counting

One time i went on Sup Forums

Groovy

...

drunk driving

Burned 2 houses down I don’t remember I was around 10 the first one and 12-13 the second one. They were both abandoned so no one go hurt. Thinking about it excites me to this day. I’m 44 now

so close. so damn close

Girl?
If so, any pics, you wonderful nasty slut?

*clap clap*

Britfag here
For the last 3 years I have been eating sugary products without a licence

I'm going to find you and fucking kill you.

Should have made it 8 proxies the FBI is gonna get your ass u sicko.

Nice. What happened to the first 2?
>inb4 got old