Stupidest shit you did as a teenager

Stupidest shit you did as a teenager

rejected a woman

this

fucked school off

>decided to try to climb a building with some friends
>make it half way up
>girl falls
>ohshit.wav
>insists we call an ambulance
>doctors tell her to rest up and take Advil

don’t climb buildings kids

What did you mean, you rejected sex or you rejected relationship?

Tore someones leg open with a stick and sent him to hospital. Prick deserved it tho.

story?

not having as much sex as i possibly could

made some mac n cheese, tasted like shit because I used almond milk, put remaining mac in a plastic cylinder and tucked it like a fleshlight. it felt ok but it kept falling out because the cylinder was too wide. dong smelled like cheese for 2 days.

I also drank a lot of loco, pic related

fucked**

Nice try, FBI.

Not him, but I will tell you a sad story related to rejecting women when I was young.

Me and my best friend at the time would always hang with these 2 girls from my school. Basically every day we would just be together to talk or play or whatever.. Eventually my friend became GF with one of them and I would start seeing the other one in private.

She was much smarter, slightly chubby and much more shy. One day she wanted to sleep over and we had a good time just lying in bed, me groping her and kissing a bit. You could tell she was really happy because after this when we hang out she was much more confident and it was kinda obvious she had told her girlfriend when all 4 of us hang out.

Then NYE comes around. I go to a private party with 2 friends and it turns out to just be us 3 guys and 4 girls that are kinda slutty and super outgoing. I wasn't interested in that shit at ALL since I had my 3.14 at home so I just spent the night getting drunk and hanging like whatever i'm not trynna do SHIT with this girls while my friends were tryharding as fuck lol.

Night goes on, yadda yadda, suddenly it's like 2am and one of them has really taking a liking to me. She's all over me kissing my neck and shit and my friends keep giving me these looks because they're jelly and want me to respond more than just ignoring her while she's slobbering on me and shit.

part 1/2

sucked off a friend

Had sex with a girl

Sent this to my gd

Continue

Where is the cont?

Not much of a story.
I was in my first year of high school (middle school in tard merica) about 13yo. Was getting bullied by this one kid in year 10 (about 16/17yo). One time he tried to physically assualt me so I picked up the nearest thing to defend myself and it happened to be a jagged stick. As he approached all threatening like I hurled it at him with all my strength and it simply blasted through his knee. Guy fell down like a sack of shit bleeding everywhere with a golf ball sized hole in the side of his knee, was rusged to hospital and got 23 stitches in his leg after some surgery to clean up and straighten the wound so it could be sewn back together. I got away scott free by claiming self defence and he never spoke to me again. I consider it to be something dumb because at the time I didn't realise how fragile the human body was. Since then I've avoided all conflict and basucally become a pacifist. Should my aim have been off that day I very easily could have killed a man.

continue

made out with english teacher after talking about david foster wallace after class
long story short: english teachers are fucking bananas and get very attached

drank half a gallon of fuzzy navels at a party in the woods

ended up making out with a chick (which I still don't remember) then throwing up semi-peach-flavored yack for the next 18 hours

Two of my english teachers got sacked for having sex with students.

i turned down sex with her which was when the craziness started
english teachers are the fucking greatest - i ended up married to one. the sex is wild

go

being lazy and solidifying habits of procrastination and minimalism

lol this omg

So I slightly turn my head towards her and as soon as I do that she stops kissing my neck and we straight french kissing.. First time and it's super overwhelming because >tfw virgin

I go with it for a bit.. Everyone is basically just staring at us dry humping in the sofa while making out.. After maybe 30min of this she takes my cell and type her number into my phone.. The party wraps up and we say our goodbyes.

Day after we wake up and my friends are super excited about what happened. MUCH, more than I am. I don't send her a text at all but then during the late evening my friend gets a message from one of the other girls saying she had really taken a liking to me and the number she typed in was wrong and she wanted to get my number. My friend that was a fucking tryhard tried argueing a bit if she wouldn't rather talk to him or some stupid shit but then eventually showed me the text and gave my number to her.

Immediately she texts me and tells me she had such a good time, how she's so glad she met me and that she really wanted to hang again. My friends were like "go fuck her dude she's so into you!!!" and shit but I had that other 3.14 that I actually liked and was building a real relationship with, or whatever you do at 15.

So I explain to them they need to STFU about what happened NYE and that I was seeing the other girl. I just straight up told her I didn't want to see her again because I have someone else or whatever. And that was kinda it.

Day after we have school again and I usually walk with my best friend there. I tell him about what happened, that I made out with some hot thot, but he shouldn't tell ANYONE because I really liked the 3.14 and wanted to continue seeing her and obviously this was a stupid mistake.

Day goes and I'm going to the movies with my friends. I'm sitting in the car and suddenly I get this all CAPS message from 3.14 asking WTF I did on NYE.

part 2/3 - longer than I thought hope you enjoy

Taking Xanax during a field trip along with Adderall, Vyvanse, drinking and doing dabs. Got expelled. Still got into college thooooooo

flew to norway with a box of energy bars and a single blanket.

hiked 300km through the mountains.

pls cont.

holy fuck

kek

that actually sounds cool

I love that cat

so I'm mega red-headed sitting in a car with 3 friends and one of their dads about to go to kino and obviously someone had told her.

I tell her we will talk about it the day after when we were planning to be together.. After the movies I ask my best friend wtf was going on and the fucker admitting he had told his GF which was my 3.14's best friend.. OBVIOUSLY she had fucking leaked it because muh girl code. My best friend was a fucking moron, can't believe he fucking would leak this shit when I so expressively had told him not to and he knew all 4 of us was super tight..

So the day after I meet with her outside and she is mega upset, crying while I try my best to comfort her.. I tell her the truth, how I had kissed someone and was upset and had told the thot to fuck off the day after so we could continue what we had going. I can't really remember how the conversation went at all, I was really upset too because I had never hurt someone like this.

She was so sweet, innocent and then the first time she has a relationship the dude "cheats" on her.. Man I felt like shit and felt like everything was so good and now it's all fucked.. I gave her some time and space to think about what happened.. Few days later she texts me and seemed ready to move beyond it but I felt like such a douche I just couldn't... I still know my best friend but from there on out our friendship declined.. The 4 of us never hang again together..

I'm 24 now and I spoke to her last year. She's still single, so am I.. I think I still really like her. We went to the same HS and would sometimes meet at parties and such. But man.. I wish my best friend had kept his mouth shut because after that I had fuck all girls.. Lost out on that real teenage love and sex.. Feelsbadman

ouch.
that fucking sucks I’m sorry to hear man.
Bright side maybe you two can still talk?

We did talk and she hadn't changed much.. Still shy and very introverted because of growing up in a family of 3 boys and a very assertive dad.

I just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin at all having just dropped out of college at the time, while she was still going and getting her degree.. I'm doing better now and don't feel like a total fuckup.. I haven't seen her have any kind of male attention on facebook ever, so I think it took a lot for her to hit me up after so many years..

Maybe I should send her a message and see what she's up to. I'm just not very confident at all either. I always think that was what we had in common, even if we acted differently around other people

got married

>was kinda depressed
>tried going out, hanging with friends until it all just felt useless
>decide to kill myself one day
>figure the best way is to shoot myself in the head
>used a 9mm and shot myself
>didnt penetrate my skull but dragged across my head and took a bunch of skin with it
>survived and now i have a huge scar and basically deaf in my right ear
>not worth it, i regretted it as soon as i pulled the trigger even before i knew i was gonna live
>woke up in hospital about 30 ish hours later
>love life now, just wish i didnt have a retarded scar on my head

can see scar?

play with fire. nothing bad ever happened aside from burning my eyelashes a bit and burning a carpet. but only as an adult, i realized just how stupid i was to do that and how badly it could have gone wrong.

That sounds like a pretty serious scar, can you show us?

I've always been an edgelord since I was a small bab but ages 13-15 I did a lot of self harm I still have a lot of scars

this

just get coffee bro. it will be fun to catch up

Scar

Dig a bunch of holes in our high schools baseball field the day before a big state tournament game was to be hosted there. Me and my buddies all got questioned by the school and cops and I lied straight faced to all of them. We apparently had broken the sprinkler system and it cost a couple grand to fix lol. I lived across the street from the school so to see everyone show up
The next morning and seeing everyone have to leave the field was kinda funny. They kept telling us “we have video of license plates blah blah blah” but I know the area because I live here and I knew they didn’t have shit on us. My buddy cracked and got expelled but other than that got off fine and the school still liked me after but I think it was probably immature to do it . My dad spray painted dicks all over the school at that age so I felt the baseball field was appropriate to so

didnt do shit in school under the assumption that i would kill myself before graduation. now im just wasted potential

Jerked off in the School Bathroom and came on the toilet seat. Didn't clean it up.

Told a girl who had a crush on me that I'm not good enough for her.

My 11th grade teacher grabbed my ass a couple times. She was fine but never got it on.

So much stupid shit in highshool. Had a blonde sophomore with huge tits and tight body (I was a junior) in the backseat of a car but I left her to smoke weed with my friends. Looking back she wanted to seriously get it on but I didn’t figure it out I’ve always felt so stupid those titties were unbelievable. I stopped talking to her a week later Idk what I was thinking. As a 22 year old with experience now, that tight hs pussy would have been incredible god damit she was in gymnastics to

>came home steaming drunk one night
>tried to get sister to suck me off

she didn't even say anything, stormed off to her room and slammed the door

breakfast next morning was awkward as hell

...

Like father like son

...

>be middle school me
>at dad’s friend’s house
>me in basement watching YouTube on their computer
>Dad + friends watching baseball in garage
>have to shit
>walk to bathroom and shit
>nothing too unusual, wipe and flush
>clog.png
>ohshit.jpeg
>try not to panic, just look for plunger in other bathrooms
>NOT A SINGLE FUCKING PLUNGER ANYWHERE
>try flushing again
>overflows at this point
>panic.wav
>floor is saturated and there’s a hand towel and larger towel
>try wiping up, still not enough, get another toilet paper roll, barely enough
>can’t remember if it eventually went down, hang the towels back up
>carry on, never hear a thing of it again
A few years later
>same situation, have to shit
>they might be inside this time
>flashback to last time, pray that it’ll pass
>very large log
>flush and hope it goes down
>toilet has extra strength, I think they found out
>log breaks in half and goes down not without struggle
>wipe and flush
>carry on

>be taking a shower
>wash ass with shower head
>little spray of hot water shoots up my hole
>feelsgoodman
>do it some more
>couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out
>get hard
>push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate
>balls starting to twitch
>suddenly I'm ejaculating semen and diarrhea
>boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose
>bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen
>sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina
>don't you ever knock?
>she starts giving birth to puppies
>every puppy has my face

Biggest mistake ?
Maybe forever in me. I was too nice to people, too nice because i kept secrets, because i was there when bitch, girls, friend, asshole cryed, i was there to help people in the dawn of sadness.
Now i'm alone on /b wih more experience and disgusted on human nature, i wanted to give happyness and joy to sad people but now it's my time and i don't even know how to express it... just i'm sad, i know that like most of you, i can abandon my phone and "social" shit nobody would notice.
I got friendzoned by over 20 girls i knew was looking for a guy but like the bitch they are fell for asshole and lazyfuck and complain now about it ...

>be 14
>hanging out with some friends and my crush after school
>we all are hungry so we go to kitchen
>call pizza guy
>wait a while until pizza guy rings the doorbell
>everyone but crush and me go to the door to help with the multiple pizzas we ordered
>crush shyly come over to me and kisses me on the cheek
>whatthefuckisgoingon.jpg
>she says you know ive liked you for a while
>ohshitohshit.png
>we start kissing a bit and things get heated
>she takes my hand and runs it slowly up her thigh to her ass
>ohmyboners.jpg
>we dry hump on the chair
>she goes down on her knees and says i want to see how this tastes
>she unzips my pants
>starts slowly rubbing my rock hard cock
>feelsgoodman
>about to cum
>she puts her mouth on my head to drink it all up
>start cumming when i realize its all spaghetti thats coming out
>she moves her mouth away disgusted
>still cumming spaghetti
>friends come back
>crush is screaming with spaghetti all over her
>friends see the scene and some are horrorstruck by so much spaghetti
>the boy who lives in the house starts throwing up
>the throwup is spaghetti
>everyone is now either throwing up or shitting spaghetti
>the room is filled with spaghetti
>run out of the house with pants down still cumming
>never talk to any of them again.

>be 13
>Have huge crush on girl for a year
>Sit near her all the time
>When i make jokes, she always laughs
>One day I take her to this spot on campus at lunch
>Touch her boob
>She takes her shirt off
>I take my pants off
>she sucks my dick
>i start fucking her while she blows me
>I came in her pussy and her mouth at the same time man

>be me, 14
>sister is 16
>be at home one night, dad is out
>sister is wearing bra and panties
>boner.jpg
>sitting on the couch watching tv
>she says she's going to bed, goes to her room
>dad gets home
>dad and I fuck

>Fucked the school prostitute when I was a senior
>Got herpes

Fucking regret not using a condom

>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds

Cheat on my girlfriend.
Leave evidence I did cocaine (I mean it was just stupid of me not to clean up lol)

>be 15
>neighbour have this cute daughter
>new years eve
>we are at home getting ready to celebrate
>neighbous join in
>daughter stays next to me
>everyone kisses on the cheeks
>she kisses me and paws me in the head
>Everyone paws me in the head
>I start jumping like a mad goat
>Everyone tells me to shut up and sit down
>I climb the table and splurr out the biggest diarrhea wave anyone has seen since the tsunami in asia
>everyone is covered in shit
>cute neighbor;s daughter is choking on my cookies that I ate 2 days ago
>Heimlich maneuver engaged, no results
>I whip out my dick, start penetrating her anus
>Everyone is shocked while puking
>she spits the cookies while throwing up
>I have to go to the kennel and they are going to castrate me
>I am dog

Being an asshole to girls that showed interest in me.

Thank God for your personal fortitude and restraint Saiyan

Barebacked and creampied a street hooker

dude same
feelsbadman

still not too late user..
..to kill yourself i mean. Its far to late to turn your life around..

OH GOD!!!
>depressingly true

lost

Shot a cat with a pellet gun that looked just like this. Shot it in the back of its hip so it couldn't run or do cat shit. When I seen it a couple months later it was dragging its back legs limping so I had to finish the job.

>be me 13yo
>be in my room naked and beating off to photoshopped Wesley Crusher porn
>mom walks in
>what are you doing? are you masturbating to photoshopped Wesley Crusher porn?
>her clothes fall off
>she pushes a fist into my anus
>elbow deep with no lube
>reaches round and starts into slapping the end of my dick onto the corner of the desk
>my bowel muscles contracting around her forearm
>head of my dick turning purple, throbbing in agony and pleasure as she forces raw spaghetti down my tiny piss hole and flexes the shaft so it breaks into agonizing shards in my urethra
>I'm fantasizing that Wesley is raping me
>mom is calling me a little faggot as her arm works in and out of me, starting to get lubed with my blood and diarrhea
>she starts biting my nipples til they bleed
>edges me for about six hours that way
>finally it's too much
>the rhythmic pulsing in my intestines combines with the agony in my penis, producing the most unimaginably intense orgasm
>I ejaculate about six pints of preteen semen into my hamster's cage, drowning the poor animal
>collapse panting, nearly blacked out from the intensity of the painful orgasm
>blood oozing from my ruined penis and I will never hold be able to my feces in ever again
>she stands over me and releases a torrent of scalding hot urine over me then defecates into my open mouth
>I swallow it down greedily and managed to stammer out the words "thank you so much mom" as she kicks me in the stomach
>before she leaves, she forces the still-twitching corpse of my semen-drenched hamster into my gaping and prolapsed rectum then mashes it to a paste by inserting a baseball bat into me
>I sit up and see all my friends have been watching and taking photos and videos of my torture
>best day ever

I fell in love

listened to my parents when they wanted me to go to med school

I lasted 6 weeks before I broke down and quit the course

How do you feel about them now?

School prostitute? That's awesome, man. Most schools only have like, a nurse or guidance counselor but a prostitute? Nice.

Anyway, sorry about the herpes.

enlisted in the american military.

Did she ever bring it up?

She wasn't like a hired staff member or anything, she was just a student who fucked guys so she could buy lunch and weed.

it's one of those things we just never talk about

only time I've been glad a 15 year old didn't suck me off

It's never too late to KYS

be me 14
gave an old man a blowjob, he was about 50

lost and saved
thanks man

Or maybe don't make out with another girl? It's not your friends fault.

I bet he still beats his flaccid cock remembering that

do you?

>Greentext?

Hey mack, whats up. I love your “what if” “commercials”

he was my sugardad from that day on
he bought me stuff
and he filmed it

In middle school they installed a bunch of cameras and I would stay after school for drama class and I didn't think the cameras worked so I was waving my dick at each camera. Then later that night I decided to take a shit on the faculty bathroom floor.... Yeah sooo they checked the cameras.

idk I'm not embarrassed of them but sometimes I wonder what people think of them.

I kinda like how they stay white as I tan

Went on Sup Forums

Aha fuck I laughed

...

a friend's friend's friend was doing that on cocaine and fell on the 5th floor
died instantly
I should mention he lived on the 1st floor and only had to come down because his door was locked and had no keys but his coaine snorting ass just had to climb for fuckall reason

and the miserable old fuck didn't even return the favor? you suck his wrinkly old dick and what, go home and beat off and cry?

molested a retarded girl in hospital