What are some lies you were told as a kid?

What are some lies you were told as a kid?

That shaving makes hair grow back thicker.

Santa and Jesus

Traps arent gay

That Jesus would come and lay eggs under the Christmas tree if I left him a fifth of black velvet wisky on memorial day

I still believe in Pluto.
Uranus not so much.

The police serve and protect us.
Barry Goldwater will save the country.
Vietnam will prevent the domino effect.
Henry Kissinger is a good man.
The dollar is strong.

That Jews were to be trusted, and racism is bad.

I love you

Traps aren't gay if they are in chastity.

>implying you are older than 14

that not everyone has a nibbley jar

Bill Cosby is a great role model.

That in the beginning there was nothing, and that nothing suddenly exploded for no fucking reason, and that explosion expanded itself and out came bits of matter and energy, and those bits replicated themselves and formed dinosaurs and monkeymen, and that the monkeymen evolved into modern man who believe that the earth is a spinning ball floating in near-infinite space at millions of times the speed of a bullet.......and we cant feel a thing.

Oh, and about the bermuda triangle. They told me it was a mysterious place where compasses went haywire and gps stopped working, people doomed themselves if they sailed or flew there. Turns out it was also bullshit. The bermuda triangle is a NASA junkyard. The shuttles that lift off from florida go up, up, up and then curve out to the ocean away from human eyes . . . then they plunge into the ocean. Into the bermuda triangle. You can go exploring in that area, and you will "mysteriously" disappear. They will say it was the triangle, but it was just the military that fucked you up for tresspassing NASA waters.

I was told only lies

...

I was told that if I didn't go straight home after school I would be abducted by people in vans that drive around snatching up kids and taking them away for not listening to their parents.

this

That god is real and praying helps you achieve.

...

>rich
>serial rapist
>will never see the inside of a jail cell
He done good

/thread