It really was her fault. If she hadn't ran off with Orlando Bloom, the war wouldn't have happened

It really was her fault. If she hadn't ran off with Orlando Bloom, the war wouldn't have happened.

Is Helen the biggest slut in history?

It wasn't really her fault.

Though it was a woman's fault.

>when user completely misunderstands history

go look up the word pretext and tragedy.

Yes, or Cleopatra.
Aphrodite made Helen do it though.

And she was just an excuse to start war, not the main cause.

People said that she was more beautiful than the gods, this pissed them off and they manipulated events to start a war.

shit film

watch Helen of Troy

>Aphrodite made Helen do it though.
Because Paris wanted so, because Eris tricked them all by appealing to their vanity, but again it was all pre-destined by the fates so it didn't matter.

Greek mythology is really easy to understand when you realize it all comes down to the fates Tbh.

I gotta be honest, I'd probably launch a thousand ships for that face, too, senpai...

>Jews did Trojan war
>Aphrodite made Helen do it though
>Aphrodite is a Jew

Cant look at her face without thinking of this scene and the massive erection that it gave me

>Is Helen the biggest slut in history?

You're thinking of Lyanna Stark

You have to be pretty fucking special to believably play Helen of Troy and she did it.

Hail the goddess

>my face when Troy was a real place

Blame Aphrodite you dumb faggot.

are the greek gods real?

It wasn't her fault. It was stupid men who thought a woman was their possession.

Why do they always pick these big jawed squinty eyed women to be the "the most beautiful women in the land." These fucking Hollywood boy loving pedo's best effort at what they think a beautiful women is. Pic related.

...

I was more attracted to pic related

Jewish fantasy

In the book, she hates herself. She calls herself the whore of Troy and contemplates suicide. The Gods are blamed for her actions. She even hates Paris. He's pretty dumb in Homer's version.

>completely misunderstands history
>history
>misunderstands
>completely
>myths and legends

I can't remember it all, but doesn't she go back to Menelaus?

>in history

Yeah after he's killed everyone.

So wait, did all this shit really happen IRL or no?

The Trojan war was real

How could they have filmed it if it didnt happen

s-shut up filthy latin dog

...

>Paris could have been an unstoppable warrior or the Emperor of Asia and Europe
>Instead he choose some used pussy
Why was Paris such a bitch?

Yea just like Atlantis right? Fuck off.

Ruins were found in the area Troy was supposed to have existed so it could be said that Troy was once a real city

The people who lived there probably fought in a war at some point.

That's pretty much it. Every thing else is made up.

most beautiful woman I've seen in a film, close second is Grace Kelly in Rear Window

HAVE YOU EVEN READ THE TROJAN CYCLE, OR AT LEAST SOME OF THE "WORKS" COMPRISED BY IT? I DO NOT THINK SO; I THINK THAT YOUR ONLY CONTACT WITH THE TROJAN LEGEND IS VIA THAT "MOVIE".

>history

kektoberfest

>he thinks the Trojan war never happened

Reminder that women are literally responsible for everything bad in the world.

...

THE RUINS AT HISARLIK SITE ARE NOT TROY; TROY IS CURRENT ISTANBUL.

INFORM YOURSELF REGARDING HOW THE RUINS AT HISARLIK SITE BECAME IDENTIFIED AS "TROY"; HEINRICH SCHLIEMANN WAS A CHARLATAN, AND THOSE WHO FUNDED HIM WERE OPPORTUNISTS.

Good thread.

Will you ever fix your capslock key? The world holds its breath.

Diane Kruger is literal white perfection.

>troy is current istanbul

nigga mount ida and the river scamander are right fucking there in hisarlik

schliemann was an incompetent archaeologist but he was looking in the right place

>being this austistic

She's not even the most attractive woman In the movie. Sadfu forever

>mount ida and the river scamander are right fucking there in hisarlik

1. YOU MEAN "A MOUNT IDA" —AN ARBITRARY MOUNT NAMED "IDA".

2. YOU MEAN "A RIVER SCAMANDER" —AN ARBITRARY RIVER NAMED "SCAMANDER".

No, she's been a role model for women everywhere for the last couple thousand years.

The guys were just looking for an excuse to start a war ffs

Tell me more, user. I'm interested. Don't let these other guys get you down.

More importantly, Menelaus was the biggest cuck in history.

IM ACTUALLY MENTALLY ILL AND DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

He's bullshitting.
t. I've been to Hisarlık and I lived in Istanbul.

>TROY IS CURRENT ISTANBUL.
Most retarded thing I've read all week.

Are you still a cuck if you kill everyone?

Well Paris did die, but it's not clear whether Helen was taken to Sparta or if she died before the enemy got to her.

myth is a really different story

It's a legend, not a myth.

Is it big? As in, how big would the ancient city of Troy actually been?

The ruins are far smaller than you would expect. I went there as a kid and even back then I was underwhelmed by just how tiny it all was. I can't give you an exact estimation since it was so long ago (and it's suspicious how much of it is authentic), but it's certainly much smaller than the city shown in the movie.

The survivors of Troy founded Rome, so they got their revenge on the Greeks in the end.

>doing an adaptation of The Iliad without the gods

what's the fucking point

>founded Rome
I think you mean Scandinavia my friend.
t. Snorri

If you were Paris, who would you pick?

All three choices are wrong, because it'll turn the other two against you in a massive cuntish butthurt. You need to somehow find a way to trick 3 (three) goddesses to avoid certain doom. Fucking Greek pantheon, full of assholes.

> Hera gives you all the riches of Asia
> Athena makes you never lose in battle
> Aphrodite gives you another man's wife

I'd pick Athena, then conquer Asia and Sparta and take Helen to be my wife.

Simple.

>piss off hera and lose all your wealth
>everything you pillage from your conquests crash and burn
>piss off aphrodite and lose your dick
>never get to fuck wenches you captured during your conquests and go around limp dicked all the time
Do you even greek tragedy bro?

True, pissing off Hera never ends well, even if you happen to be Zeus but Athena was the biggest Mary Sue goddess of them all so I'd go with her since she'd use her wisdom bullshit to make everything work out in the end.

Hera because she's faithful to her followers.

I believe I have an answer that avoids certain doom. Quickly take a photo of the three and post it on Sup Forums. Tell the goddesses that once Sup Forums unanimously comes to a decision on who the fairest one is.

Sup Forums, being fucking Sup Forums, will argue and shitpost this decision, come hell or highwater.

Great thing about this is that Sup Forums never forgets shit like this. They'll keep posting it like the fucking CIABANE shit. They'll have "Hera is my waifu" threads and shit like that. No decision will ever be unanimously reached.

And by the time Sup Forums dies, you'll probably already be dead from old age or cancer.

Is this the age of Hera posting?

>Murrican education

Kronos
Leto
Rheia
Atlas

I'd definitely go to war for those legs.

>O Royal Hera of majestic mien, aerial-form'd, divine, Zeus' blessed queen,
Thron'd in the bosom of cærulean air, the race of mortals is thy constant care.
The cooling gales thy pow'r alone inspires, which nourish life, which ev'ry life desires.
Mother of clouds and winds, from thee alone producing all things, mortal life is known:
All natures share thy temp'rament divine, and universal sway alone is thine.
With founding blasts of wind, the swelling sea and rolling rivers roar, when shook by thee.
Come, blessed Goddess, senpai'd almighty queen, with aspect kind, rejoicing and serene.

>They'll have "Hera is my waifu" threads and shit like that.
Holy shit my sides.

>yuro education

Fuck off Athena is where it's at.

>mfw get to live in an age of Greek revivalism

is this merely a dream?

a-athena will protect me r-right?

Hera>>Athena>>>>>>>>>>>Aphrodite

except they'll contrive some way of keeping you alive until a decision is made.

Oh hey it's the shit tier list.

>he doesn't want to munch of aphrodite's carpet
Are you a fag or something?

>worshipping the godess of Athens

Hope you live in Athens, dum-dum!

>meanwhile le me worshipping based goddess of natural law

Living the memelife

From Hera? For a while. But eventually Zeus will force Athena to give you up to Hera, because otherwise Hera won't put out and Zeus, he needs his lovin'.

>wanting Ares's seconds

Why did Menelaus get so butthurt just because some roastie didn't want to fuck him?

Surely there's another nymph somewhere Zeus can rape

>not wanting the literal goddess of sex
>not licking the seed of Ares out of her anus in the hopes of his ultra-masculinity rubbing off on you

It was his wife, not some random chick


>not choosing pure Hera who will make you emperor of Asia

Cut the apple into thirds and give them a peice each. Form what I know about these situations I'll a get at least a little credit for thinking outside the box and not anger them too much.

tfw i need to fuck some prime german grills right now

You'd probably get it after she's given Hephaestus a pity lay.

>wants to fuck mortal tier women

Daily reminder Aphrodite is made from Uranus ball sack

>they start arguing about the size of the pieces
>all three turn against you

>by the time Sup Forums dies, you'll probably already be dead from old age or cancer
m8....

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i'd also fuck immortal women