ITT your favorite sex toy

ITT your favorite sex toy.

Moby Huuuge

Mom

Lol i just looked that up funny af!

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this gif.

>Corn on the cock

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/thread

tnx doc

THANK YOU! I AM NOT ALONE IN MY LOVE FOR THIS HUMAN BEING!! I mean who the hell else could turn a car into a boat with this stuff?

why not just use corn?

>Handyman's secret weapon

It really puts the 'corn' in the 'cornhole'

i actually find that corndildo kinda creepy...

Because that's food you monkey

That can't be easy to clean.

my wife

It is dishwasher safe user

His wife

your wife

Just cover it with butter and lick until the flavor is gone

>not making a metal version to wrap in foil and heat up on the bbq

pretty accurate

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I don't have to tell you to use water-based lube/cleaner with silicone toys, do I? I worked for Castle years ago, and it was only slightly more exciting than your usual customer service job. If you don't mind, kindly point out the new shit, I would love to learn. This is the first of five consecutive posts. My collection of favorites is as follows.

The "Bonnie Rotten", from Black Label.
>rechargeable
>oscillating with a couple dozen patterns
>four speeds
>NOT w/p
>best enjoyed watching the whore of Babylon herself
>buy one
>i mean it

The "Blewit", by CT Schenk, former Director of Operations of Fleshlight.
>D E E P
>you control the air-pressure, meaning the tightness
>simple, practical, reliable
>you can really wail on it
>w/p

The "Flip Hole", from Tenga.
>will last you years, with proper care and cleaning
>artificial insemination: the future
>simple, you push to apply pressure
>as a caution, it feels better than real
>they had five designs, last I checked
>better than your disposable onahole, and a better investment to boot

The "Neon Wand", from Kinklab.
>it's a tesla-bulb
>good for both pain, pleasure, massage and pranks
>comes in a nice kit
>constant new accessories, my favorites include the pizza cutter, the trident, and the lightsaber.
>they have a metal pad for it that you put under your arm, effectively turning YOU into the toy
>lights up in the dark
>tfw no gf because it would be so much more fun with a girl
>plugs into the wall

Last but not least, a hair-dryer.
>any hair-dryer will do
>don't take my word for it, just put one under your shirt the next time your masturbate
>plugs into the wall

I can effectively say I have no need for a woman. Who else here can make this claim?

LOOK AT THIS TOY THAT I JUST FOUND
WHEN I SAY GO, BE READY TO FUCK

FUCK HIM NOT MEEEEE
Let's try something else

started using a cock ring so my dick stays hard while I can do other shit with my hands, totally worth it

The sexy version of a spicy keychain?

what does w/p stand for? excuse my ignorance

>Sister Fister with Extra Blister

Timestamp needed

wait what? Explain

nigga what?

Is thata trap or just a very masculine girl?

With/Poop
some are designed to be shit in as well or put in your ass so you can be fucked with it in

dude thats my wife wtf, be respectful

female, she has nudes

fuck is this nigger shit

Girl from Russia

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Faves

Don't be so dense, use the co text of the sentence to figure it out.
>Waterproof

Anyways here's mine. It was the first toy specifically for a splint I ever bought. Literally changed my life. Once I got to where I could take all of it, I got my wife (then girlfriend; we were about 20) to fuck my ass with a strap-on.
I came so hard I blacked out and literally couldn't walk for an hour after I came to because my legs were 100% jelly.

PLEASE MORE OF HER
I'M SERIOUS!!

Mehh needs a complete overhaul on her looks but would bang

I mean... if you did the hair up nice, put on some makeup, put em in a nice dress she could almost pass for a man in drag.

so you can replace the inner sleeves if they get fucked up? thats pretty cool

megan grater
>easy to clean
>works with any kinde of lube
>easy to hide

Post'em!

I would

>just electrocute your dick bro

some SCP

jesus christ i would be so fucking pissed if i found out my room mate was throwing his sex toys in with the plates i eat off of

she's kinda cute

Grater part is backwards, wouldn’t do shit to your dick

did you get her to fuck you with horse cock?
that sounds like an amazing orgasm tho, have you come close to it again?

well yea thats why its good

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You from Houston?

SLOB ON MY KNOB, LIKE CORN ON THE COB

The newer model is pic related. I'd pick one up, if I wasn't happy with the one I have. I'm sure it doesn't include with the prosthetic hand.

I would timestamp as a demonstration, but I'm away from my home terminal at the moment.

meaning water-proof

It's not difficult. Use it to blow warm air on yourself while you fap. It feels fucking amazing. Careful not to touch yourself with the thing because it can get hot.

Different strokes for different folks.

Cannot. That is why you should rinse it with running water and apply cleaner after every use.

If you own one, how are you liking it so far? What score does it get.

Haven't applied it to the dick yet, but you certainly can. It has a knob so you can control the voltage.

when you look away is when

it

kills

you

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yeah, that's totally an intersex kid whose dick they cut off at birth

I see potential

include the*

Koreans could reconstruct her face.

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Gay marriage has ruined america

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why do americans ruin everything?

That poor father

with a nuke

kawaii as fuck

No, not with the horsecock. Didn't have a belt that would accommodate it. She's buttfucked plenty and each time I see the face of God.

Sadly it has been a while though - health problems have gotten in the way.

calling that number, scheduling an appointment for tomorrow.

What bothers me most is why the dude choose the ugliest daughter?

im pretty sure the FBI have that line tapped

I'd fook heh

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I'm jk, I got a place here in town that has a couple girls that done mind getting their hands on dick.

>loki and his parents

Btw here's a tip on how to get some play at the massage parlor.

Go with cash, and enough 20's/bills in your wallet to make it look fat, so when you place it on the table where she can see, she will see that youve come prepared to tip.

Also, most girls want you to lay on your stomach with the towel draped over you so they can start on your back to begin with,

Don't. Lay on your back without the towel, and if they come in and try and put the towel over you, say "no, its ok" and take the towel and just lay it on the floor

I noticed her head changes its size on pictures...
Why does her head do that?

my sister's leg prosthetic

Her body is ready

>when you really really really want to move off base and get that dependent pay

probs something to be with perspective?

I just wrap a quilt around my penis, I can shape it however I want , for example make butt cheeks with it

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