Adults always do the right thing

>adults always do the right thing
>people will like you for just being you
>love is real
>girls like nice guys

>life has purpose and meaning
>life gets better
>you can trust women
>you can trust anyone
>college makes you employable
>everyone is equal
>you can up and move to a new city and your problems won't follow you
>antidepressants help
>everything will be okay

>Everything will be better when I'll grow up

>op isn't a lil faggot

>god exists
>we're the good guys

>trimming armor for free

>that dog wont bite
>columbus did
>jobs are harder than school
>i should smile more )no(
>yeah

Just the not eating brown berries

I always thought area 51 was real

>Love triumphs over all

Moon landing

Jesus was real.
Believing lies that nerf herders told each other 2,000 years ago in a land of far far away. What a gullible retard.

>There's a magical kingdom where a supernatural being lives who created you bc he loves you and wants to be with you, but first he created the whole fucking universe to put you through a test to see if you follow all the rules right, bc even tho he loves you, if you fuck up, you will burn in a firey pit of anguish for eternity. That's why we celebrate the day he was born by chopping down a tree in our house and giving you legos and watching it die.

That one did kind of a doozy on me, until I was about 12.

>It was normal behavior for my step dad (mom is gone) to touch me in those places
>santa was real
>the easter bunny was real
>alcohol is bad
>going to college is necessary to get a good job

Penis inspection day

>be me at 6
>sees spray paint
>dad is using it and I wanna try
>dad says shake it until you don't hear the ball anymore
>end up shaking spray paint can for at least half an hour

You need big penis to please your woman.

Condoms are not balloons.

i lost my first set of black to this

more about this touching business...

Runescaped? Only thing I did there was walk around city area

...i-it isnt, user?

Jesus sees me wanking.

Just base but nothing more. Maybe little bit experimental but nothing UK hasn't invented

Traps are gay.

A few years ago I'd have told you to fuck off, but I'm numb to the memory now from the chronic alcoholism, so why not.

>Be late at night
>almost asleep
>he comes in my room
>locks door behind him
>gets in bed with me
>puts cock between my thighs
>thigh fucks me until he cums, he always pulled back and finished right up against my ashole
>thought he had peed on me the first time he did it
>lock door so he can't get in room the next night
>in the morning come down for breakfast and saturday morning cartoons
>he says he needs to talk to me
>leads me up to my room by the hand, am too little to resist
>tells me to sit down
>explains that it's normal for dads to do that and that it wasn't pee, I didn't have to worry about it
>for some reason believe him
>says he understands that I didn't understand, but I still did a bad thing and had to be punished for it
>tells me to take my clothes off
>he pulled what I now know was a bottle of lube out of his pocket
>says this will happen every time I'm bad
>lubed up
>slid in me without even fingering me first
>first time this happened I was 6 or 7
>hurt like hell
>start crying and yelling stop
>he spanked me and said telling him what to do was bad so he'd be back again tonight
>when he spanked me it made me clench down, which made the pain even worse
>scream
>spanked me again and said screaming was bad, the neighbor's shouldn't have to be disturbed every time I get in trouble
>tells me to bite my finger
>do it
>bite so hard that it draws blood
>he goes for about 20 minutes, after maybe 5 I had passed out, but I saw the clock when I came around, which was when he pulled out, and it had been about 20 minutes
>he came back that night for my other punishment and again in the morning for my third
>started getting in trouble for every little thing, got butt raped basically every day
>eventually learned to loosen up, would just get on all fours and take it silently and cry silently after he left

>my eyes will get stuck like that
>adults remember every street in the city by heart and that's how they know where to go
>college isn't a scam
>scientists solve problems to make everyone's life better
>women will try to help you love them, men with relationship problems are just dumb
>liberals are libertarian and don't want to force people to be like them so they're the good guys
>it's safe to go outside, criminals only bother other criminals
>we're not working class

a high school diploma is important

>The government is not reading your emails

that story is both fake and gay.

you can't get a full grown dadcock into a 6 year old boipucci without fingering it first. He would have torn it open. Blood and doodoo everywhere.

There was blood, I had to shorten some details because of character limit.

flamingo was a swear word

This is my life in a nutshell

lol

why would you think that?

That Jesus isn't real

I fell for the ol candy in the van.

I have to pay taxes.

His dad could have also had a tiny peenor

post pic of cock n boipucci

Not op but a girl told me a guy put it in her ass "accidentally" and without a warning without any preparation. Though she said only the tip went in she mentioned bleeding when going to the toilet the next few days. How legit do you think that story is

That were all equal. It's just some are more equal than others.

Free energy or perpetual engine.

>santa comes through our chimney
>mfw we lived in a duplex
>asked where the chimney was
>dad says the fat fucking pedophile magically pulls one out of his pocket and comes in to check my 8 year old ass out
>was completely okay with it
>no homo

I believed in school and educational system.

>My dad wasn't sexually abusing me.

Pet rock.
>Did i get ripped off?

did the games of dickbutt turn you gay?

just something my mum told me for chuckles i guess, family would play along and act like it was some scandalous shit whenever i said it.

telling kids if they unscrew their bellybutton their bum will fall off will always be funny.

santa
god
money has a value

all these sexy stories, how about some greentext? Did he fucc ur boihole and turn you gae?

>people wouldn't respect you unless you forced them to by beating them up.

I was a violent kid. Not much has changed.

My parents were normal and had things under control. Once high school rolled around I understood my parents were barely functioning alcoholics and total cunts and that wasn't the norm for everyone.

i used to think that people who died in movies were convicted criminals sentenced to death

No idea, I'm bi, don't know if that was influenced by my childhood or not.

thought an old dusty basement electrical junction box w wires sticking out was a bad spider I named him howie,if I was nice he wouldn't bite me

>dad would be better
>school is easier than adulthood
>elder people are wise by default
>things we learn is school are useful
>you have e to be a gentlemen ™ with girls
>people are care for each other

>me and your father love you both equally
>the divorce wasnt your fault
>we wanted you

>God exists

Perfect someone didn't exist.

>someone out there will love you
>You're never alone
>You can trust the people you love
>You will have sex someday
>Life is worth living
>Your family will always be there for you
>You are loved
>Depression is normal

ehhh, addicted, cuntish parents are more normal than you think. Otherwise Sup Forums would have zero posters.

I'd wager it was. We'll know for sure when you start molesting little kids to continue the cycle of abuse. In your head, it'll be a subconscious way of getting back at daddio for ravaging that sweet butt. But in reality, you're just becoming another statistic that the LGBT community refuses to acknowledge.

god damn. right in the feels. thanks asshole.

>you’ll never get away with it
>easy living is happy
>you can tell when someone is smarter/ better than you
>if you acquire special enough possessions you will find fulfillment and purpose

>Niggers and Jews dindu nuffin

>you're attractive user

I have no interest in kids, whenever I am with a guy I go for guys in their 40's / 50's, mid 30's at youngest.

Parents kept buying water colours thinking I was doing well at art school.

>adults remember every street in the city by heart and that's how they know where to go
You don't know every street in your city?
Shit, nigger.

>Alcohol is bad
>Drugs are bad
>You need to go to college
>The government will take of you
>More gun control will prevent gun deaths.

love is real, it’s just not the glassy eyed hype train, it’s more... acceptance of suffering because you believe it’s better. if you’re lucky its a situation where that doesn’t make you a beta simp cuck

my sister told me there was cameras in the lamps and that we where all part of a reality TV show, she coulnt keep the act up for long tho as she bursted into laughing at me.

This was weed.

>be 4
>didn’t know where cows come from
>dad decides not to ‘give the talk’ and says
>”user, you see those bales of hay?”
>nodslikeretard.jpg
>”Cows hatch from there and then eat it like caterpillars”
>Spends the next 3 years convinced cows had larva form

fucking lol

not me, but we convinced a kid in the neighborhood that if there was an astronaut was on the moon, and if he stayed until the dark side reached him, he'd fall off into space

>there is someone for everyone
>life is precious
>you must stay in school to get a good job
>at midnight the ghosts start moving
>everything is fine it always works out

thats so fucking hot

i'm rock hard

the absolute stat of the western wold and sex/sexuality

>watch porn a normal amount, not much
>go eat dinner at a family friends place
>some other little shit who was there opens up fishadultgames or some shit
>neat, tiddies (both cartoon and real)
>go home
>go on same website
>parents get call from family friend about porn in their search history
>parents find same website on ours
>think I did it
and now we get to the bullshit part
>"Real girls aren't like that, user."
Fuck yeah, they are.
>"Just pull out."
>"I can't get pregnant."
>"Choke me."
>"We can do anal."
Fucking sloots

>debunks Jesus with cheeky 'muh stah wahs' jab
we need to put redditors in camps.

so you have a daddy fetish, kek

>real girls aren't like that
fuckin LOL yeah they are. Maybe not 30 years ago when your/our parents grew up, but now every chick watches porn. They develop the same fucked up fetishes as dudes do, and then some really fucked up ones that dudes don't.

so you still want to be that little boy being buttfucked by daddy eh?

I was LIED to. Fucking LIES.
also
>Your father has forgotten more about computers than you'll ever know
I went to school for Computer Science and IT. He asks me to help him find drivers online. Fucking adults.
He has Apple products.
Fucking adults.

Well, I don't know about that. They purposely fed into the UFO hype by putting lights on helicopters and shit to hide actual sightings of the B-2 in the late 50's.

i think your father might be gay

I think it's more that older guys treat you like a king when you're younger, and tend to know what they're doing better.

>mfw i find out at 19 my dad had planted hidden cameras all over the house since childhood

Why would a parent do this. Just why.

>girls like nice guys
that was my first mistake, why did everyone tell me this lie lol.

sisters told me.
girls at school told me.
mom told.

thanks for making me a beta cuck for my whole highschool years

Could check it out of you want.

I was afraid of Internet when I was a kid.

like your father did?

you mean they tend to fuck your butt better? More like your dad used to?

He's an effeminate little fag, sometimes. Drinks the kool-aid an' everything.

maybe he is autistic over security?

>I was afraid of Internet when I was a kid.
I'm afraid of it, now.

No, exactly how my father didn't. They're super nice and appreciative to be with me, they'll buy me things if I ask for it, they take me nice places, that sort of thing. The best feeling is when they step out of line and piss me off and I leave and then spend the next month getting texts begging me to come back, I guess it makes me feel like I'm valuable.

i have. Just meant Skunk Works and the like are probably half a century ahead of consumer tech. The f-35 is probably ancient compared to shit they're working on.

Maybe. Ive never been there.

Why hide it though? At least fucking tell me.

ah, so they treat you like you wish your father did when he was fucking you!