Why was it so shit?

why was it so shit?

He went on about some retarded ring theory and I can't remember most of it because it was pretty uninteresting, just like force awakens itself.

Probably suffering from malnourishment after huffing down all those pizza rolls

It wasn't

Because you thought the Shill Awakens was as bad as the shitquels. Which they weren't from any standpoint (special effects, framing, storyline, dialog, acting). There isn't much to say about it other than it was an unimaginative cash grab. You can only say that so many times.
Whereas with the prequels you can criticize almost every scene.

because you don't have your own opinions and only rely in what a fat loser doing an awful unfunny review/skit/thing tells you

It definitely was.

- There weren't enough things wrong with TFA to fill all that time
- Spends too long arguing against the retarded ring theory
- Doesn't rip into the shitty characters hard enough

It definitely wasn't

Also doesn't rip into the shitty world building hard enough

I just liked that he devoted almost half of it to ripping on the prequels and Lucas again.

No Jack.

he did.

upvote for you my good sir

>why was it so shit?
did yours pizza rolls from mr p arrived ?

He liked the piece of shit and was upset about being forced to do a review

because he pointed out why you're stupid

Because the Prequels are colassal legendary fuck-ups with tons of material to tear into. TFA was a fairly straightforward soft reboot that didn't take risks or do anything that really needed the tear down the prequels did. The only people who hate TFA are probably 14 and haven't seen enough movies.

I don't think it was shit but it wasn't anywhere near as good as the rest pf the plinket videos. His segments didn't tie well together and it's clear he did not have strong enough feelings towards TFA justify the in depth analysis a Mr. Plinkett reviews video (s).

The only major problem with TFA's plot was that the Empire has fallen yet somehow the good guys are still running around calling themselves "the Resistance" rather than the status quo

He did a decent job with reviewing the new Star Trek film (the first one) which he liked when he had to do that. This one was just too all over the place, throwing fan theories in to take up time was just silly. It was like jumping from Plinkett to Preston Jacobs.

I didn't "hate" it entirely , I just hated how they made the main plot incredibly similar to NH. Also I didn't like the two main characters a whole lot. Hopefully RO will be kino

Yeaaah no. It was.

It never stops being funny.

The majority of it isn't even about the fucking movie.

They padded it out with 50 more minutes than necessary. So those RLM jews can get their YouTube money.

Sorry, but it wasn't. Not his best. But still good.

TFA review is the prequel trilogy of Plinkett reviews. Mike has become old, soft, and lost the muse he once had and only seeks to make a quick buck out of it.

You guys are gonna hate me but, the thing with the new Plinkett is that it's not about the new Star Wars, it's about Mike. You see, he's obviously having some sort of middle life crisis and made this video for an ego boost: "I invented the star wars reviews posted on youtube!" "TFA is a decent film because of MY contributions!" "millenials BTFO!" You will start to realize some lines in the video like "I AM the internet" may not have as many layers of irony as you thought.

It's the reason why a fat, balding man was the only one to point out the supposed lack of sex in the film, as he lacks sex himself (ED or Jesse simply doesn't want him physically anymore) and projected his crisis into the movie. Other youtube reviewers didn't notice this, because they can easily cum with their gfs or porn.

He is feeling old, and can't properly critize TFA because it makes him feel the same way he felt as he watched A New Hope for the very first time. He'll leave the movie alone but make fun of younger fans who are just having fun (like the guys in the convention), presenting them as obssesed fanboys, while the Ring Theory segment ironically exposes him as an obssesed nerd who has probably seen every Star Wars film 50 times or more.

He became George Lucas. He became Plinkett.

>Sorry, but it wasn't.
It was.
>Not his best.
In complete agreement.
>But still good.
Completely incorrect.

This. In the movie they did say there was a new republic. Wouldn't they have an army? They'd have ships and troops left over from warring with the empire + recruits that they got after thirty years. Wouldn't it be in everyone's best interest to get rid of the rest of the imperial and their new superweapon? So why is there just one squadron of x-wings and a tiny base. Also how did an imperial remnant have enough resources to build a weapon stronger than the death star? Did the all the imperial just fuck off to unknown regions while the rebels let them? Honestly the shit bothers me more than the shitty characters (which I don't think we're as bad as people say) I think they would have had a good movie if they told the story of Luke's new jedi temple, the forming of the new republic, and kylo going dark. Everything about TFA just feels empty and without spirit.

Also FUCK MAZ, she was worse than jar jar and the cg somehow looked worse than some of the stuff in the prequels also.

TFA is bad in a garden variety derivative blockbuster way. The prequels are bad in a what the fuck am I looking way. One leads to more unintentional comedy and funny analysis.

He was too shitscared to criticize it properly since he shilled for jew jew pretty hard.

But the prequels did have their moments.
> My allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
> If you are not with me, then you are my enemy
> Only a sith deals in absolutes

>The only people who hate TFA are probably 14 and haven't seen enough movies.
Why are Star Wars fans such an unending fountain of cringe?

>Why are Star Wars fans such an unending fountain of cringe?
They aren't.

Nigga the fuck are you on about, you can literally criticize anything, it's your own personal opinion.

He can't construct a plinkett review about TFA like he did with Episode I without the new trilogy being complete. We have to know where these characters and plot point are going in order to properly judge what is just setup and what is actually garbage. It's not a fun answer but it's the right one.

1 first half was focused on ring theory, not the actual movie
2 second half was just talking about FA
They weren't mad about FA like they were the prequels, them saying "i liked this and here's why" is less entertaining than "this part sucked and this is why"

Because there isn't much to hate and Mike is powered by contempt. Just wait till they fuck up 8 with this force tree shit, if that's legit.

You are right, they are just mentally challenged

A fair while back there was some concept for a republic super weapon that would've countered starkiller base. I guess in terms of the universe having the good guys be crazy overpowered and having their own doomsday weapon, doesn't make them very sympathetic though.

Here's what should've happened imo
>Rey gets captured and starkiller base wrecks coruscant
>Republic lose their shit and the army charges scorched earth style with their own super weapon
>Leia and company rush to get Rey out before the whole thing gets nuked into oblivion because she's the only one connected to Luke.

Wrong again.

His Indiana jones review is the best by far.

No it isn't.

this desu.

>Movie is bland, boring, and safe.
>Expect it to get tore to bits.

So TC, how long have you been retarded?

No teeth left

The video was pretty good. I love how he nailed pathetic Star Wars fanboys and the casual """nerd""" media that panders to them.

This.

I honestly think he made this review more to try to get people to like it like he did in the HITB review but then while making it he started getting on the same page that most people were already on last year and so we were left with a review more boring and aimless than the fucking titanic review.

Pulled his punches

>storyline, dialog, acting
very arguable

Different guy here but I thought it was pretty good.

At least it pointed out good shit, nit picked a bit hitch was cool and then focused on the core issues that fucked the movie up (Spielberg & Lucas being completely different filmmakers now).

Problem with this review is Mikes not gonna tear it apart because he likes it and do he's going to pretend not to notice the shit that ruined the movie for most people.

Because Mike's true passion lies with feet

Each prequel review focused on the main problems of that particular movie.

Mike went into this review with a hard on for the movie but knowing he couldn't shill it all the same so filled the review with a bunch of irrelevant shit.

It wasn't, people just wanted to see him pointlessly whine about the movie in the manner of shit-tier Youtube movie channels instead of actually giving his honest opinions. That's why he put the section in the video where he mocks those retarded channels.

M-mike? what are you doing there..

LITERALLY /OURGUY/

>I thought it was pretty good

It wasn't.

Mike has lost his touch

Because the movie is not that bad.

upvoted

All of those are in a span of like 10 seconds. There's still 7 hours of utter shit.

Because he went full cuck and demanded interracial breeding and more gay sex

>having the good guys be crazy overpowered and having their own doomsday weapon, doesn't make them very sympathetic though.

But that's how it works in reality. The two major audiences for this movie both have fuckhueg armies.

Disney realized that this tool has street cred with milennials and they'll regurgitate anything he says when it comes to star wars, so they specifically pandered to him when creating TFA.

Based Mike BTFO's prequel fags once more

> my opinions are objectively facts

no they aren't

>why was it so shit?

Because Mike liked the movie and didn't find much fault with it despite the fact that it's overwhelmed with glaring faults.

Whole review was an autopsy of Star Wars rather than an analysis of Farce Awakens.

Because it didn't validate your opinion

After the Jurassic World review it was proved beyond all doubt Mike was a huge pleb who likes any movie as long as it looks pretty.

This review went off on uninteresting tangents on fan theories and some self-sucking about how Plinkett is the best and created THE method for Youtube reviews.

Also more prequel and Lucas bashing. Yes Mike we already know.

The only criticism of TFA to be had in the final moments of the review is that its a copy of Star Wars 1977. Which is valid. Then the long rant about lack of romance.

That's all your criticisms, Mike? Nothing about how the movie trashed all the old beloved heroes from the original movies and turned them into incompetents and bad parents who wound up losing to a rebuilt Empire while simultaneously creating the next Darth Vader.

Not even one remark about how Rey was so convenient to the plot where she can do anything. Talk to droids that beep. Fight well. Pilots well. Knows the Force without any training. She's a one-woman army and Mike gave her a pass.

it was intentionally shit

To understand what went wrong with "The Star Wars Awakens Review," you need to look at his "Star Trek 2009 Review."

In the Star Trek 2009 review, he opens talking about the history of the franchise and where it's gone since his last Star Trek review. This lasts less than 10 minutes, and never goes into a lengthy rant about irrelevant things, like what other people have said on the Internet. It never becomes some thing where he argues (and weakly, I might add) that other people are wrong and he's right and also he's sort of the reason people talk about movies online and they're all paid off by Disney.

Then, when he talks about Star Trek 2009, even though he likes the movie, he's willing to tear it apart and talk about what didn't work, giving interesting analysis on things that maybe you didn't notice (but your brain did). His analysis of The Force Awakens never gets that deep because he's unwilling to tear it apart. "Rey didn't get laid" isn't a terribly insightful criticism, unlike his whole "case of the not gays" observation in Star Trek 2009 where he makes a good argument, detailed and backed up with how often male characters drop a line about how they're into the females (again, something you didn't notice, but when he points it out and shows all the scenes, you can see what he means). Again, nothing he pointed out about The Force Awakens made me see it in a new light.

To summarize: it just wasn't as good as his other Plinkett reviews, which is a real shame given it was a long-awaited return to the Plinkett reviews. In a way, it was Mike's own Phantom Menace.

Mike became Plinkett. Mike became Lucas.

Its due to his smug detached Gen-X ethos.

Every time.

That fucking emotionless expression on his face.

Fuck.

Great argument you brain dead retard.

You didn't really give an argument either pussy

Too bloated with prequel shit. Seemed aimless without a real point like the Titanic review.

Also probably the first Plinkett review where literally everything he said had already been said to death by tons of other people over the past 10 months since the movie came out. Really takes the sting/entertainment value away from it.

His point was that Mike didn't criticize the terrible world-building enough. You did nothing to counter that point. You're a fucking moron being contrarian for the sake of it and sucking Mikes dick in the process. The entire review was shit. Easily the worst and most disappointing Plinkett review.

>You did nothing to counter that point.

Yes he did.

You're only proving him right with your childish "no u" responses to literally every criticism in this thread you jevenile retard.

>le blindly disagreeing with anything without giving reasoning troll
ebin

>You're only proving him right

No I'm not.

because?

Because I'm proving him wrong.

Yeah, I asked you why?

Because I can.

this
This place is pretty much nu/b/ mixed with reddit nowadays. Such faggotry, holy shit.
we need /film/ to get rid of the memers

So why haven't you?

No you can't.

I have.

>we need /film/

No we don't.

but Mike like's episode VII

>no redpilled commentary on sjw culture
>Sup Forumstards chimp out

classic Sup Forums

You dont. We do, you dumb newfag.
epic trolling btw. wow.
(You)
(You)
(You)

You have not. Why not?

It's like poetry

>We do
We don't.

Yeah but Plinkett didn't