I am getting this for a girl

I am getting this for a girl

What should the engraving Sup Forums ?

I fart and burp all the time. I seem to have gas constantly and I release it in some form approximately every 5 minutes. Apparently I do it in my sleep too.

If I'm on my own, surrounded by family or friends, I fart loudly without any attempt to conceal it. If I'm in public I still fart and burp but quieter. Even in work and in meetings I fart but I just do it quieter. They almost never smell, and even if they do its pretty mild and passes quickly.

There are only very rare circumstances in which I'll hold it in, the conditions have to meet all of the following criteria:

> I have eaten spicy food or drank lots of beer the night before
> I have farted a few times already and they fucking stink
>I'm in a social environment with people I'm not totally comfortable with

...

Traps are gay.

Quads for me

Dude, no need to lie. Enjoy toying your anus

Go fuck yourself

Nigger Tongue my Anus

clean me

...

>be femanon
>20 something years old
>have this fat neckbeard on snapchat because of a dare
>he wont stop shutting the fuck up
>he says he loves me
>he says he'll fuck the shit out of me on day
>thefuck.jpeg
>one day
>he knocks on my apartment door
>i can smell him through the door
>he is holding a box
>it's very long
>"uh ith's for- it's for y-you, mi'lady"
>sweatiest man ever
>if he even is a man
>how did this motherfucker even get my address
>i say thanks and take the box
>he tips his fedora and leaves
>thank fuck
>i shower
>i forget about the box until my roommate mentions it
>"oh yeah some guy came over and gave it to me"
>decide to open it
>it's a fucking silver dildo
>what the fuck
>look at it
>check my phone, see I got a snap from the fatty
>open it
>dick pic
>"i'm sorry I couldn't satisfy you mi'lady, I hope my gift will suffice"
>dude what the hell
>lol his dick is like barely half an inch
>look on side of the dildo
>"fake and gay"

HAHAHAHAHA

xD LMAO

''peek-a-boo''

Winner

-1

nigger?

Cuck

Winrar

"Sparkly in pooper"

Haha I love the gist of it, but not suitable to give to someone I like (vibrators aren't either, but it's a necklace ;) )

Also very funny but not going to use it

has potential, but what could it mean?
goes in and out, no you see the it now you don't ? (peek a boo)
She's prolly gonna use it on her clit and not for insertion