What are guys general opinions on somewhat obsessive women...

What are guys general opinions on somewhat obsessive women? I'm not talking yandere levels of obsession but rather a girl who just can't seem to get over you? Would you be flattered? Creeped out? Piteous?

i had a case of this where at first i was laughing and kinda felt flattered over it, but bitch got downright crazy then i was like fuck dat

What kind of crazy shit did she do? Threats? Stalking?

the only kind of girl I date, really.

You have to manage things carefully but otherwise it can be pretty great.

threats mostly, she couldn't contact me by phone anymore so she'd leave notes talking about harming me, herself or whoever i was seeing

Jeez. That sounds rough. I'd definitely steer clear of that territory.

so where is your territory right now?

yep.

not that guy but protip: shut down all your public social media BEFORE you break up with them. because they will start harassing anybody you're in a picture with or who they suspect you might have looked at once.

Since I haven't made it clear, I'm the obsessor. He rejected me a year ago. I send him letters on special occasions and text him regularly. I try to keep my emotions in check and would never do anything to hurt him, but I can't just let my feelings go. The most troubling part is I've lost all my attraction to anyone but him, so I can't just use somebody else to remedy it.

ah, yeah. guy who dates girls like that here.

It's not an easy thing for you. I have a girl I haven't been with for years who still sometimes calls up the company and fakes an identity just to get me on the line.

What do you want to know?

Theyre always crazy. I always seem to attract crazy ppl. Crazy guys and old people to.

I was in a relationship with somebody that needed to be texted near constantly and couldn't stand when I was with my friends or busy with other things. She was never aggressive or anything but she could not stand the idea that I wouldn't be around her all the time.

I loved her very much and cared for her so much but it was too fucking much, man. Those kind of relationships seem like they'd be fun from the outside but they're time bombs on the inside - trust me.

I just don't want to slip up and ruin things in the future. At the very least I'd like to remain friends and I want to know if my adoration for him could become too much and push him away.

Flattered...and i think they are lovely in some way...

Also like 759353287 shows here they are very loyal

Is it the kind of obsessive where she puts you on a pedestal or the kind that's just really engaged with you?

Depends on whether I find her attractive.
If I do, then hell yes.
If I don't, then hell no.

I actually had a girl like this. It gets annoying because all they'll do is whine and cry about how sad and down they feel. It got annoying, and I got sick of it.

Both I suppose? More like admiration.

it could be a problem, yeah.

The main things would be:
-you have to be ok with him seeing other people. and seeing them together.
-do not act maliciously. no attempts to sabotage anything, no trying to rig things so he's forced to spend time with/talk to you.
-don't refer to the relationship and how good it was too much. keep shit you talk about light, and just as friends.
-dont get drunk around him. you'll slip up. and the only way you can stay friends is if you don't confess your love to him. if he genuinely thinks that it doesn't crush you if he cancels on plans to see a movie or something.

real advice though? staying friends might not be healthy for you right now. getting some distance really can help. even you can get over things with time, you just need a lot more time.

yeah thats tough. I like a high maintenance girl but even I have limits. I have to be able to get away and do my own thing for a couple hours a day. If you dont get that it just starts building up.

My last girlfriend was very obsessive, fell for me very quickly, got upset when I wasn't giving her attention every hour of the day. It got pretty tiring pretty quickly, to be honest.

Then she fucking cheated on me, and the breakup was pretty difficult because she was still so attached. Got so many "I love you"s and "I'll never do it again", but fuck, I just couldn't do it. How can somebody tell you how much they love you every day, then just throw it all out like it means nothing? Then come grovelling back, like they don't understand what they did?

Never really ran into one like that in real life. I've seen it in anime and heard stories about crazy stalker girls but I don't know enough about real-life obsessive girls to comment on them. I'd imagine there must be something in the other person that they think helps them feel more "complete" or possibly that the other person may be the right person to help that girl find happiness in her life. Some sort of truth to life that she may only see with the help or guidance of someone else. Maybe they cling to others for help or protection, as women are a prime target for violent people looking for someone of much less physical strength than them that they can take their anger out on. Oh man I'm starting to ramble.

I can only think of Rose from Two and a Half Men

The thing is that he's mentally ill and doesn't want to be with anyone in general. We both enjoy solitude and I give him as much space as he needs. I need alone time myself but he's always on my mind. I took a 3 month hiatus to get my mental health sorted out and dreamt about him every single night. Just repeatedly dreaming of him rejecting me.

So could I relate to and make a genuine connection with this hypothetical girl, or is she stuck in her own little world?

just takes some patience my dude. Thinking "oh she's a woman this is what they do"... My girlfriend got mad at me for not "liking" what she posts on facebook. Will often call just to tell me she loves me, I say I love her too and she always responds with "are you sure"

It's kind of cute at first, becomes a bit much after a while. Put she lets me put my shriveled up dick inside of her often so take the good with the bad ya'know

it doesn't sound like you're in a healthy place, and this is probably the kind of thing to talk to a professional about if you can.

If you think you need to be his friend right now and you cant stay away, it's going to be really hard. you have to put barriers in place and never cross them. it's going to feel like you're being rejected a lot, and you have to tell yourself that you have no expectations from him. It's up to you if you do that.

What's his mental illness?

what's the first red flag of a crazy gf?

>mentally ill
thats the word your looking for user

...

this sort of crazy?
when they're really into spending more time with you even though you're only a date in. like they cant get enough of you.

it feels good. you feel attractive as fuck and like you're doing great, but that's not the underlying cause.

something like wanting to see your texts, facebook, wanting the password to your phone or facebook, not liking some of your friends and wanting you to stop spending time with them etc etc

basically closing you off from your own world trying to "help"

I can't afford a therapist so I just have to sort through things.
I know it would be healthy to just cut myself off from him completely but he's been a great mentor of sorts for me and I probably wouldn't be doing so well without him.
He suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. I can see why he'd went to be alone. Perhaps he's afraid of hurting me physically or mentally. He's very kind and gentle.

thats a fun combination. paranoid schizophrenia is a bad time, and doesn't go away. I can see why he'd want to try and keep the rest of his life calm. it doesn't take much to start losing control.

sounds like he's been that support role in your life for a while, which is why this can be so hard. you finally found that rock in your life and it cant be taken away easily.

Depending on where you are, there's usually some kind of free therapy option. not necessarily a good one but they're there.

I've gotta run but if you want specific advice on how not to come on too strong/etc my kik is alphabatsup