/LOTR/ general

Why didn't they just inhale the grind the Ring into pipeweed?

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fuck

>why didn't they just grind the Ring into pipeweed?

>inb4 we get "Fellowship only good one REEE"

>pipeweed is pot xD
Wipe this meme from the face of the earth

Why didn't they give the Ring to Tom Bombadil's wife Goldberry?

Nah mate, OP is perfect

more like
>pipe this weed in my face on middle-earth

which of the hobbits could smoke the most pipe weed?

The first two are Great, rotk on the other hand is terrible

You don't have to be here, you know. Subtle, but still bait.

>Pipeweed was invented by Hobbits
>A bunch of lazy slackers who only get off their asses to eat 10 meals a day
>Teach smoking Gandalf, a spiritual old hippy wizard in a robe

Canonically? Its

Pippin > Sam > Merry > Frodo > Bilbo

and this is all...bad?

>pipeweed

No, it's just pipeweed makes more sense as something similar to marijuana as opposed to tobacco. Nicotine is an appetite suppressant and hobbits would not eating all the time smoking tobacco.

>>A bunch of lazy slackers who only get off their asses to eat 10 meals a day
That is because the Hobbits we know are nobleman richfags that got everything handed to them
Most of Hobbiton were busting their asses to feed these entitled assholes

>lazy slackers
There is a big difference between being destructively lazy, and being peacefully utopian lazy because there is minimum conflict and long lasting peace. There is literally nothing wrong with being a successful society and enjoying laziness at the expense of fucking nothing but your own time.

>they didn't realize pipeweed burns hot enough to melt the one ring

Will we ever see a new trilogy of lotr? That is, someone else have their go at the books and make their version so to speak.

I wouldn't go as far as to call ROTK terrible, but it's certainly a mixed bag. All in all a 6/10

>Most of Hobbiton were busting their asses to feed these entitled assholes
This is quite literally not true of Hobbiton, not in the slightest.

Not anytime soon I don't imagine.

Probably not

geez guys I'm not trying to shit on Hobbits here. If I were a race of Middle Earth it'd be a hobbit. They got it figured out while the rest of middle earth wallows in misery. They just fit the stoner archetype too well not to make the connection

>you wouldn't be an elf

Shaking my head to be honest

I don't really see what they could improve. On top of that, the franchise is so widely respected it'd be impossible for any remake to get any fair criticism because it would both be unwanted and would pale in comparison to Jackson's.

There are some films I just don't think will ever be remade. Can you imagine someone remaking the Star Wars trilogy? I don't mean hurr durr TFA, I mean someone actually remaking A New Hope, Empire and Jedi. It just wouldn't happen. They can't really be improved on, and as such a remake is pointless.

Maybe a crudely animated tv series for kids.

How do elves lose their immortality if they have sex with Men?

being a race traitor is literally life or death on arda.

I thought the losing immortality thing was some magical choice half elves could make, either be an elf or be a pointy eared human

I hope no faggots ruin this thread this time. Why can't they let us enjoy these films in peace

1>>>2

Yeah, they can basically choose to be immortal or not. Elrond's brother for example chose mortality, I don't know why but if someone can tell me, please do

He was hip to the fact that the elves have chosen a slow death and the humans at least lived life while they had it. He also got to found an entire line of peoples that went on to be the key to everything.

This is quite funny since in no part of the stories have Bilbo and Frodo given any jobs. The rest of the hobbits at least have some kind of income but Bilbo and Frodo basically both just inherited stuff and live as wealthy slobs for most part.

Bilbo for rich off his adventure didn't he?

The only reason they aren't wallowing in misery is because they have powerful motherfuckers like Gandalf and the Dunedain guarding their lands. If they ever had to truly fend for themselves they would be miserable just like everyone else.

No before that he inherited his parents and was basically set for life where he never would have worked.

i never had sam as a weed head.

Saruman and Grima went in a burnt the bitch to the ground in the books. They just maraud around unopposed until badass Shiriff Samwise Gamgees and his pony brigade come in a save the day.

absolutely and I think it will happen in less than 30 years. Studios have absolutely no shame and plenty of actors and directors think they can do no wrong. As long as there is a buck to be made and the film rights are out there, someone will do it

>LOTR general
I can get behind this

I'm watching the appendices for the first time

I doubt it would be before Jackson kicks the bucket. I bet he has the film rights on lockdown

They... don't.
But their children will have to choose what race they want to belong to, men or elves.

why would the director have any say on the film rights? That should be studio territory

Why was Legolas such a douche in The Hobbit ?

Manlet stole his bird

I couldn't stand the fact he looked so much older than he did in LOTR

to me his face looked like bad CGI, I almost wasn't sure it was actually Orlando Bloom

Exactly
Where Merry's (Brandybucks) family were Thains of Buckland and Pippin's (Tooks) were the oldest noblemen of Hobbiton and Thains of Shire
Also they were all related to each other

Because he made a shitload of money and probably bought the rights like Zemeckis did with Back to the Future to prevent unapproved sequels/reboots. Same reason Spielberg movies won't be remade til he dies or gives his approval

>probably bought the rights
I feel like a) this should be followed up by a source and b) however much he made it probably wasn't several hundred million, which is the likely price for those rights

What does his elf eyes see?

They attempted to de-age him in certain shots with CGI

I like them all but Fellowship is by far the best. The last 2 focus too much on the battles imo.

That's fucking retarded
No wonder the films were so bad

Got to love Sam

>Gandalf - Wizard/ Lesser God
>Aragorn - Dunedain, last descendant of the Numenorian Kings
>Legolas - Prince of the Woodland Realm
>Gimli - Direct descendant of Durin, nephew of Thorin and Dain the Ironfoot
>Boromir - Gondor General, first in the line of succession as Steward of Gondor
>Merry -Soon to be Thain of Buckland
>Pippin - Soon to be Thain of Shire
>Frodo - Richfag with direct ties to both major noble families of Hobbiton
>Samwise fucking Gamgee - GARDENER

>tfw you realize that Godlberry is a captured sex slave
>tfw you realize Tom Bombadil, the Master, is just letting the clock run out until he's Jozef Fritzeling with his sexy captive Goldberry and there is nothing left of Middle Earth and he can finally take over

Creeeeepy

And he also married the hottest hobbit slut too.

>slut
DELET

Where does this Goldberry woman even come from. Is she a similar being as Tom? When did they get married?

water spirit

TLDR: it's magic I aint gotta explain shit

youtube.com/watch?v=Rblt3u_Bocw

She can water my spirit

They could live like that because men gave them protection for food

>mixed bag
The last hour is absolutely breathtaking. The gondor siege, the Rohhirim charge, the black gate suicide mission, the fall of Mordor, returning to the Shire

Its pure kino.

The Shire is also a rather remote and put out of the way place with no strategic significance.

Because he was a racist, privileged aristocrat who hadnt learned the meaning of true friendship yet.

>probably wasn't several hundred million
KEK ok

even if it was it wouldn't be enough. The movies made billions

...

Who the fuck is Jozef Fritzeling? Google didnt show anything

>Elrond shits on humans for being weak and letting the Ring remain after Sauron's defeat
>he just watches as Isildur walks away with it

Elrond was a little bitch.

...

killing Isildur would have caused a massive war that the elves would probably have lost

...

He also fought the daughter of a literal god and won.

Some men just want to watch the world burn

...

...

...

Shelob?

Tuor is somehow my favourite guy from Tolkien's universe. I cannot pinpoint the exact reason why though

>be me
>working as a saisonal worker for hop farming
>it´s hot af, no shade, hard work
>listening to lotr sondtrack gives me shivers
>don´t mind the heat at all
thank you howard shore
(sorry for bad english, i´m drunk)

I love it when people post art in LotR threads, helps make them nice and comfy

>posting naismith
>nobody posts fingolfin and the noldor crossing helcaraxe
get some taste brehs

They were such a jolly fellowoship irl too
youtube.com/watch?v=yfvDsYCCww4

>tfw you'll never be a Noldor who followed Feanor in his quest for "muh silmarils"
>tfw you'll never wander Beleriand and live in Gondolin
>tfw you'll never fight in the War of the Wrath and truly see the might of Ancalagon the Blacked
>tfw you'll never settle down for a few millennium in Lindon with Gil-Galad and your elf waifu who can only ever be true to you alone
>tfw you'll never fight in the Last Alliance on the slopes of Mount Doom
>tfw you'll never fight for Middle Earth one last time and see Sauron's fall
>tfw you'll never return to the peace of Valinor after thousands of years of fighting

Why must life be so cruel

>think pipeweed is like marijuana
>get shit on by /LOTR/ fans, calling me stupid
>play The Shadow of Mordor a few months later
>happen upon a bag of pipeweed
>Talion reminisces to Celebrimbor, telling him about how his son once smoked some pipeweed and ended up raiding their kitchen for food

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Fugggggg
source?

>shadow of mordor

>good or canon in anyway

>trusting Shadow of Mordor for """""lore"""""

>Shadow of Mordor
>Accurate source
Choose one

DON'T GIVE ME THOSE SMUG LOOKS DON'T FUCKING DO THAT

>tfw you will never be a son of Durin slaying hippie Sindarin elves and sacking their city with your Noldor buddies
>tfw you will never exchange opinions in metallurgy and weapons with based Ecthelion
>tfw you will never settle with a nice bearded dwarf-lady in the halls of Moria on their prime

Ungoliant wasn't a god, it was the personification of evil. but still, fighting the spawn of evil itself is pretty impressive

Considering Gimli couldn't destroy it with his axe I doubt they could "grind" it.

>"successful" society
>they literally live surrounded by trees and grass and animals
no thanks

>
So this.... is the power... of autism