>Beware that Grima Wormtongue, Frodo. I once knew a man similar to him by the name of Alfrid Lickspittle that I met during my adventure to the Lonely Mountain. He was present during The Battle of the Five Armies, but instead of fighting with the men he instead dressed as a woman so he could go around stealing coins and other pieces of treasure. He would hide the coins he stole inside of a corset which created the illusion of him having breasts. It was quite humorous seeing him adjust his coin-boobs the same way a woman would if she was wearing an uncomfortable brazier, jingling and jangling all the while... When we found out what he was doing we tied him up in a burlap sack and hung him from a catapult. We let him keep the coins for some reason though. They were still hidden in his corset/bra. However, one of the coins sliped out of his corset and fell on the catapult lever, causing the catapult to launch him right inside of a troll's mouth just as the troll was about to defeat our good friend and ally Gandalf. Yes, the same wise and powerful wizard that you and I both know was nearly vanquished by a simple troll after his staff quit working because the emerald in it went bad. Turns out that's the source of his power. A little emerald in the top part of his staff. He must have gotten a new one since then because I don't think he's ever had the problem again. We never found out what happened to Alfrid Lickspittle after he was launched from that catapult. He likely was killed along with the troll. He was a good friend
Beware that Grima Wormtongue, Frodo...
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I am howling with laughter op.
He was a good friend...
Peter Jackson should be shot for even imagining that scenario, much less committing it to film.
Literally worse than Jar Jar.
Do you think they will ever release an Expanded Universe TM Lord of the Rings edition that shows what happened to the characters of Alfrid and Tauriel?
If you look closely, one of the dwarfs has an axehead broken off in his forehead. I've heard he was originally supposed to be a bumbling retard comic relief but his role was drastically cut back when concerns were raised that his character was offensive.
I thought it was a water spigot and there's a scene where he gets it stuck in an orcs head or something. comic relief indeed
Why was the Hobbit series so much worse than the LotR trilogy? I mean yeah, they stretched thin material into like 8 hours and it showed, but it's more than that. It's shit like in OP's post.
The drop in quality from LotR to Hobbit is literally Star Wars prequel trilogy level.
Why were there so many trolls and huge freaky monsters in the Hobbit but comparatively few in Lord of the Rings? Did Sauron just forget where he put them all?
It's more like:
FotR + TT
>>>>POWER GAP>>>>
RotK
Hobbit 1
>>>>POWER GAP>>>>
Hobbit 2
Hobbit 3
The third Lord of the Rings movie is only held up by the emotional weight of the previous two desu. On its own it's a pretty bad movie.
nah, he just figured they'd be more useful as labor instead since all throughout BoFA each one seems to go down with one shot.
Sauron would have won the war even if he didn't reclaim his ring, right? That's why they had to destroy it instead of just hiding it from him. They had to kill him or they'd lose regardless.
In that case, if Sauron is powerful enough to do all that without the ring, why not just not create a ring that makes himself mortal and take over the world as a less powerful evil eyeball ghost guy?
they spent 10 years planning LotR. for the hobbit, the studio suddenly expanded 2 movies to 3 and didn't give any more time to finish it. also dick jokes, video gamey action scenes, and cut and paste elves
>why not just not create a ring that makes himself mortal
What?
In any case, Sauron created the ring in the Second Age, where he faced much more powerful opposition. By the Third Age there wasn't much left to oppose him.
He's an immortal unkillable demi-god.
Then he creates the ring, which, when destroyed, effectively kills him.
How about just not make that thing?
He has a physical body, he's just weak and not /fit/ and can't do much but spy at people from his window. He needs the ring to get his mojo back.
Jackson made him a fiery eye.
He is not immortal without the ring. He can be killed, just like Gandalf, Saruman and the Balrog were.
Had he not created the ring, then when he was defeated in the Second Age he would have died and it would have been for good.
because the ring dominated the other ringbearers... literally first 15 mins of fellowship...
Except it didn't though, the elves instantaneously caught on and took off their rings.
Peter Jackson has always been a gag filmmaker. Look at his early films to see this. I think people held him back on LOTR to allow the better elements to breathe. It is kind of like George Lucas with the original trilogy. Once they were both given free reign; the shit show started.
what about the 4 immortal ghost riders?
Sauron is a coward, and would rather coerce and trick everyone into serving him than conquer them.
He helped make the rings of power and gifted them to kings and the most important to then use the one ring to control them as a puppet master.
Elves saw through it and took their rings off and hid them.
Dwarves got their greed multiplied and due to natural traits resisted Sauron, but screwed a bunch of stuff up because of the rings.
Men were corrupted and under his control.
Sauron pretty much always loses fights.
there's an elaborate back story involving aragorn's ancestors, the numenoreans and sauron disguising himself and attempting to trick all races into becoming his slaves that almost worked
Most definitely, i'm sure there are plans to milk LOTR as much as any other successful film
Who cares about dumb gay humans. Not Sauron.
The ghosts and other CGI shit ruined it but it was still much better than the forced shit and the annoying dwarfs in The Hobbit.
He doesn't die in the film version. He escapes. In EE he gets eaten.
It's not his fault, user. It's not his fault.
He does. He wants to rule them.
At one point he called himself King of Men and this triggered the King of Numenor who wanted that title and raised an army so huge that when the forces of Sauron saw them coming they all ran away, then he took Sauron as a hostage. They became buds some time later.
the tone of the hobbit movies vascilates too wildly from deathly serious to childish gaggery all the time. its exhausting
also they're shit at both
I wish the hobbit movies had never been made.
All my friends who are fellow LOTR fans think they are great because they are incapable of critical thinking. I've tried explaining to them but they're just like "dude Smaug lmao"
The charge of the
Rohirrim redeemed the whole of RotK for me.
>Beware that Grima Wormtongue, Frodo. I once knew a man similar to him by the name of
Stopped reading here.
At least write up wall of text shitposts that actually make sense.
>literally Star Wars prequel trilogy level.
The prequels are on par with the OT though.
Hobbit 1 was literally bumbling CGI trash, take that shit ranking out of here
Return of the king made me cry and was a well crafted cinematic masterpiece, fuck you
you sound like a pussy
Are you illiterate?
FotR - 10/10
TT- 9/10
RoTK- 7/10
Hobbit 1 - 5/10
Hobbit 2 - 5/10
Hobbit 3 - 4/10
>Where now the horse and the rider; where is the horn that was blowing
>They have passed like rain on the mountain; like a wind in the meadow
>The days have gone down in the west; behind the hills into shadow
>How did it come to this
That's all grammatically sound though
The first 40 minutes of The Hobbit before they actually set off for the adventure is literally 10/10 and beyond the scope of any of the LotR films.
Everything else beyond that is total shit, but those first 40 minutes had me hyped.
I actually thought Hackson was going to do more with Alfrid than just comic relief. Would have been better if he had a redemption arc because of Bard's leadership or some shit.
I think it can be summed up in this 30 second clip:
And you have no eye for good movies
Fotr 10/10 both standard and extended
Two towers 8/10 both standard and extended
Rotk 8 out of 10 standard and 9.5 out of 10 extended
>Fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter
>Spear shall be shaken; shield be splintered
>A red day, a sword day, ere the sun rises
>Ride now, ride now. Ride to gondor
Is this possible or am I retarded? Would the rock just fall or would it provide some resistance? I feel stupid.
It would provide some resistance because Legolas isn't applying enough force to make it fall faster. It's still an incredibly dumb sequence though.
>DEATH!
DEATH!
>DEATH!
DEATH!
I don't give a flying fuck if it's possible on some theoretical level. What matters is the shit scene, shit writing and shit CGI.
I never actually saw the Hobbit movies, but this doesn't seem much dumber conceptually than Legolas climbing the elephant thing or skateboarding on that shield (though the CGI is obviously bad).
Frodo did I ever tell you about the time Elrond and Saruman alone BTFO all the Nazgul at once? After that they never fought them or took part of any fight ever again and everyone kept pretending the Nazgul were hot shit.
And did I ever tell you how Galadriel BTFO Sauron when he was known as the Necromancer but then never tried to face him again and didn't do shit to contribute to the War of the Ring?
And did I ever tell you that 90% of the bad shit that happened to the Middle Earth was related to a clan of asshole elves and their three shitty magic jewels?
Elves are fucking assholes, Frodo.
>shitty magic jewels
I believe you mean "literally the greatest things ever made by anyone."
Feanor literally, objectively, did NOTHING wrong.
...
I think for it to work he'd have to step so hard that the rocks would go shooting off in the opposite direction.
its one of the stupidest scenes i have ever seen. hey i would have forgiven it if I was watching DBZ or some anime but jfc Hackson haven't you butchered The Hobbit already?
You'd just be pushing the rock down. The only normal force you'd be getting would be from air resistance, which might slow down your fall by a few milliseconds
>still no radagast origin movie
>still no tauriel origin movie
>still no merry and pippin solo trilogy
>still no LotR sequel trilogy