What was his fucking problem?

What was his fucking problem?

It was 1994 and he didn't have Sup Forums to post on all day.

He wasn't supposed to be there on that day.

he was the apple box for kevin smith to complain about the generation x pathos

his gf was a whore

A lot of shit happens to Dante when it's suppose to be his day off.

>realizes he's a pushover
>realizes his girlfriend has sucked 37 dicks
>realizes his ex-girlfriend is in town
>realizes he's stuck in a dead end job
>realizes his best friend is an asshole with good intentions

literally this

this.
He made it very clear that he wasn't happy about that.

I thought this was in B&W as some pretentious artsy nonsense but it turns out it was that low budget. Great movie that still holds up today.

>pack of smokes for $1.95

I literally just paid $28 for a pack just now, life is just the worst possible thing ever.

>still smoking

His girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
>37 dicks
>37

in a row?

He's a grown man who only ever fucked 12 girls (14 if you include Clerks 2.). I'm not even 21 yet and I've already surpassed him.

STRAYA

He's ugly as fuck though, pretty impressive numbers for him and his stupid goatee.

>implying every girl you fuck isn't taking a piece of your soul

>He thinks a male's appearance effects his ability to get laid

Wew lad. Unless you're the world's ugliest cunt, you can still fuck plenty of girls by merely being funny and/or interesting.

I could spend hours on the internet and not find a suitable reaction picture for this post, I have nothing.

What if you're fat and/or bald?

Loves his gf, but she's a whore.
Loves hockey, but he sucks at it.
Hates the store, but it's all he can do.

I'm pretty fat and I still get laid. I'm not sure about bald though, I guess it depends on your age.

>>realizes his best friend is an asshole with good intentions

I thought Dante realised Randal was toxic and that he was stuck with him

literally "the man from the chan"

sup ausfag.

buy a pouch and/or a vape.

>he can remember how many girls he's fucked

you mean soap box

I'm definitely gonna try the e-cig, a lot of people say it's not really a good substitute and you don't get a throat hit but I'm gonna try it for a while.

He's just an asshole, but it doesn't make him any less right. Him calling him on all of his fucking bullshit really paints Dante as the indecisive cynical shit he really is.

Clerks 2 makes it sadder cause it just showed that none of it had any lasting effect on him. Except when he knocks up some halfbreed and love solves everything when you buy a gas station with drug money in a black neighborhood

...

>Loves his gf, but she's a whore.
relaly it is betas who bring sadness on themselves. Men still expect women to be behave and be good girls, meaning a whore in bed with only them, but those men refuse to change their stance and accept reality as it is

I'll agree with all of that, the whole relationship felt tragic. Maybe it's just my faulty memory, but I can't remember Dante ever coming around on Randal and actually acknowledging that he has positive traits. It's more like he just resigns himself to his life or is distracted by whatever mundane problem crops up next.

That's what I didn't like about Clerks 2, Smith was obviously pushing for the resolution ending, but nothing had been solved. Maybe that was the point he was trying to make but it was far too feel good, especially when compared with the first which just piled problems on top of problems.

The whole movie was a tragic as shit when you really think about it. This guy who works at a fucking convenience store thinks he's above the ones who shop there. The biggest problem in his life according to him is that his girlfriend has been with a lot of guys, and that he might still have feelings for an ex. He has much larger problems, but is too self-absorbed to see it.

Randal is an absolute asshole, but he lives a life of knowing his place and being fine with it most of the time. He thinks he's smarter than everyone, and usually is, but the only things that really piss him off are hypocrites that accuse him of being beneath them. Something that is touched on with a little more depth in the sequel when Jason Lee pisses him off and when he knows that the only people he knows that are free of their woes are Jay and Silent Bob.

Having said that, Clerks 2 is a "safer" movie all around, though.

a) It's a fucking sequel, so it has that
b) "kooky" characters just for trailer laughs (the jesus kid, etc)
c) his wife as a major plot point (again)
d) more askewniverse pandering
e) that cringey fucking dance number
f) happily ever after ending

It's a shameless cash-in that people might've wanted, but came well over a decade too late, and felt like a kneejerk reaction to a dwindling career.

Sorry for the TL;DR, but I still feel like an idiot for being such a Kevin Smith fan back when I was a young dumb shit

>He has much larger problems, but is too self-absorbed to see it.

I didn't view it that way. I think the gravity with which the problems were presented was appropriate given the everyman feel of the movie. Nothing that happened was particularly fantastical, why should the complications pose larger questions than the story allows for? Dante is petty, but that's the point, and I think that maybe part of the audience understood that, but the ones who never accepted him as a flawed character would not have contemplated a lack of insight on his behalf.

The entire movie basically boils down to a slice of life piece which is basically the entire charm. Randal as a character was fairly unrealistic as a character, but everyone has an asshole friend like him. We've all worked dead end jobs and felt insecure about partners sexual experiences. I never really viewed Randal as anything but an excuse for dialogue, and it's interested to see your analysis on him.

Agree on Clerks 2, though I do think it could have been good.

christ why am i going so in depth on fucking kevin smith movie

He wasn't even supposed to be there that day

>Randal as anything but an excuse for dialogue

Oh, I'm sure you're right. He's just a vessel for whatever good lines were in the writing process that obviously couldn't fit with Dante's character.

It is exactly a slice of life that makes it appealing. It's just so damn entertaining all the way through. Even the little two second jokes that fly by unnoticed kill me. Shit like Jay saying "I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight."

I must've heard the commentary track a bunch of times, too. Those were the entire appeal for me when buying those DVDs back in the day. Especially for the Clerks cartoon.

There are a few parts of Clerks 2 that ARE good, but it's so unbelievably bad as a whole that you'd never remember the parts that weren't. I truly have no idea how he still has a career. I really, really don't.

>christ why am i going so in depth on fucking kevin smith movie

It's easy to say that when you have his entire shitty resumé in front of you, but back then there was a lot of promise that turned into 20 years of mediocrity at best.

>I must've heard the commentary track a bunch of times, too. Those were the entire appeal for me

You're obviously a fan, do you think he's lost his edge/vision/whatever over the years?

Or did he just get lucky with a couple of movies and still has the same level of understanding or satire or however you would classify that early stuff he had that made people regard him so highly?

IMO Smith used to be this voice for the 90's slacker generation (based on what I've seen/read) and it almost seems like his relevance dried up when that culture did. Did he just never catch up?

Last question I promise

Kevin Smith is the biggest hack of all time. How does this guy get such a pass for making 1 good movie and then over 20 years of nothing?

He is the Sup Forums Rivers Cuomo

I say with absolute certainty that he never had any relevance. He had one great idea, and did it his way to release it and it came out at the absolute perfect time and capitalized on the opportunity completely.

I won't dismiss him for it. It's not like any of us would refuse the money and blind support to fuck around and make flicks for a niche audience. They compared him to Tarantino and Linklater because of how out of left field he was compared to the rest of Hollywood.

You can see all his technical failings as a filmmaker in just about every movie he's made. It's endearing to see all the ugly parts of Clerks because it feels like such a guerrilla release, but it's only by watching his other movies do you see that it was just someone with little to no talent justifying never having to get better because he got lucky once.

He could've just been a great producer/writer or even an assistant director to just let a talented DP run the show, but his insistence on being the head figure in all his movies just make them even more masturbatory. It's a real shame.

A big reason as to why I still love the Clerks cartoon is because you see what could've been if he let in more collaborators. Dave Mandel of Seinfeld and a stable of talented people did just about everything on there, and it was just sharp and funny while never trying to be like anything else.

Just for reference I fell out of love with him the second Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back ended. That is when I felt like an absolute cuckold. When I was old enough to pay for this, and to finally realize just how shitty it was.

I really don't have much knowledge when it comes to film making technicalities or techniques or whatever, so I can't comment there but I honestly really enjoyed both Clerks and Chasing Amy. To me they had an earnestness about them. The dialogue was quick-paced and relatable and the jokes felt natural. Not sure if it was more of a testament to the actors or Smiths ability as a writer, but the conversations seemed so organic. Nothing else has really appealed to me like they did.

Didn't know about his sudden appearance in the industry or how he was flagged as the next up and comer, hindsight is 20/20. I guess his own love of fame got to him in the end.

Chasing Amy is pretty good. There's a lot of great dialogue in it, but it's also such a weirdly unbalanced movie in what it wants to ultimately be about.

It's mainly about a guy unhappy with his current situation just like Dante. But then it's also about gays in such a weird way. The two gay figures are joey and Jason. One is pretending to be gayer than she really is to appease someone's masculinity, and the other has no real identity outside of his friend so just admits to being gay as a plot convenience.

There's plenty about relationships and how men idealize women and how they should be in their head, but it's told from the point of view of someone who doesn't know enough to really comment on it.

If it had just been about the original idea it'd be a pretty solid movie. It's from Smith's IRL relationship with Lauren Adams and how he felt inadequate compared to her.

Stopping by to say seeing some actual film discussion here warms my heart.

>gays

Don't forget the black speech with darth Vader. That is such a SJW movie, but it's also one that could trigger those people too. We lived in such a stupid time

In a Kevin Smith thread no less.

The dude going in on obliterating his career is a hero. Never seen someone disembowel a director so poignantly.

bants

He never went ass to mouth

>Chasing Amy is pretty good. There's a lot of great dialogue in it

It's not and there isn't. It's some of the most sanctimonious, sermonistic crap I've ever seen,

Not the melodramatic shit obviously, but there's bits of clerks in some of it. It's mostly annoying because it was so obviously his "grown up" movie that he dialed back on what made him appealing.

The movie is so damn cliche for how badly it didn't want to be. Even has that staple arguing and kissing in the rain scene. Complete with a reflection of Smith and the entire film crew in a passing window.

He was a merchant of death helping slowly kill his customers who needed some smokes and his gf spit this dudes cum back into his mouth

$28, really?

>There's plenty about relationships and how men idealize women and how they should be in their head, but it's told from the point of view of someone who doesn't know enough to really comment on it.

Haha! I guess that's why I related so much.

>But then it's also about gays in such a weird way. The two gay figures are joey and Jason.

That's where it shit the bed and overreached for me. I was honestly just content with a quirky love story, I don't know what smith was trying to pull with that.

To build off of those other comments, I recognise it has its downfalls and soapy dramatic bs but a relationship falling apart because everybody finally shows their true colours (whether they were judged rightly or wrongly) and succumbing to their insecurities was something I identified with, even if it was done in a pretty fictitious way.

He was a giant whiny vagina with no backbone, a satire of an over-entitled and under-achieving millennial cuck. Probably a liberal too.

GenX, you mean.

i fucking love clerks 2 and i'm looking forward to 3

fite me

>accepting the reality imposed on you
Normalcucks are truly the real betas here.

Yeah, that. My bad.

>Often the need arises to make an actor appear taller, either because of their height, or to fit with the composition of a particular shot. In this use Apple Boxes are jokingly referred to as "Man Makers".

He was also making fun of Kevin being a manlet.

Why are we walking like this?

>a liberal too
Pretty sure had no political disposition.

Unless you have bad breath. I'm attractive, but my breath is awful. Forever a virgin.

Try this gum. Chewley's Gum.

IN A ROW!?

Ha. I've tried everything. My dentist told me it's in my head, but I've seen people cover their noses while I talk, step to the side of me, or turn their heads in disgust.