The Witch

Whaaat the fuck I want to save my soul now

I feel like going to church after watching this

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newsweek.com/interview-robert-eggers-anya-taylor-joy-witch-movie-428681
slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2016/02/23/the_witch_director_robert_eggers_on_the_real_history_behind_the_movie_s.html
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Is it good? I've been thinking about watching it. Nathaniel Hawthorne is my jam. Is it on any conventional streaming sites?

You should go to a mosque instead. Islam is going to be the new world religion

it's on amazon prime.

i personally didn't like it, though I think my expectations were too high.

If you like this, check out Ouija. Same leve of kino.

Spoiler

If Satan offered to let you do "as is good in your eyes" to Thomasin's nubile young body anytime you want, would you sign his book?

I would, in a heartbeat.

>cutie: what can I sell my soul for
>satan: butter

BRAVO

Yes its good. It's got a real old American feel to it.

Absolutely love the setting and time period if you were ever interested in old America, Salem witchcraft, and puritan horror stories check it out

Who wants to spend eternity in heaven with a bunch of stiff shirt prudes? Hell is where it's at.

OP here I tried to watch Ouija but it was really bad I didn't make it more than 30 min

I fucking hated it. It was mostly boring stuff and the movie made a gigantic fucking mistake at the beginning that basically killed the tension. Plus there's tons of stupid shit going on. The ending is fun though and there's some cool shit that would be spoilers to mention.

I don't get why I find her so hot but I do.

>It was mostly boring stuff
how so?

I found it riveting. I could not take my eyes off the screen. Certainly much more intresting than the other shlock hollywood calls horror like paranomal activity 8 or whatever meme movie they are on

...

>Muh jump scares meme!
Here, I'll spoiler verything
For starters revealing that a witch exists is fucking stupid. It kills the tension of the film because YOU KNOW that it exists. If we weren't shown her we could have doubted the family members but nope.

Second, the incest thing goes nowhere, literally there for filter. Same with muh choping wood and muh candles at dinner when nothing happens

Third, parents are retards. What the fuck are htey doing saying "kids, are you asleep?" and then believing it when they don't answer

Fourth, the twins. They were straight out from a horror schlock film for teenager and basically LE CREEPY CHILDS XDD Movie doesn't even bother to explain what happened to them and it doesn't even matter because their characters are literally nonexistant beyond just moving the plot forward or exposing stuff when needed. Why did they stop praying, just to fuck with her sister?

Fifth, I don't understand the movie. Is it meant to be a simil from Job? But the father never stops believing like him and it gains him a fucking goat to the belly. What did the son mean with his orgasm death? And the apple? It's just empty symbolism without sense, simply because it looks cool.

not necessarily "scary" but deeply unsettling/creepy. It's almost as much fantasy as it is horror. watched it on Halloween and enjoyed it. The accents/manner of speech can be hard to follow at times, but you'll get the gist of what's happening. Really good cinematography, lots Satanic imagery and shit. Pacing is a bit slow, but is kinda necessary to set the mood of the film. I enjoyed it, but could see why some people might not be into it so much.

>I want to save my soul now

Did you actually pay attention to the theological aspect of the movie? Because it establishes that you CANT save your soul, those Christians believed that you were already determined by God to go to hell or heaven before you were born, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to change that.

>Whaaat the fuck I want to save my soul now
>I feel like going to church after watching this
Then you missed a big crux of the plot. They were Calvinist, they believe in predestination. Live in a fucking church for the rest of your life and it wont make any difference because the final lot you draw has been decided at the beginning of creation.

Its an existential nightmare of a faith.

What dost thou want then?

The witch was there because the director didn't want things to be ambiguous.

The incest subplot built Caleb up as a horny kid so he could get seduced by the witch.

Black Phillip did speak to the twins. How did you miss that? How are you missing all this stuff? Did you not pay attention at all?

Holy shit mate, you are dumb.

The movie is called "The Witch", there was clearly no intention for that part to be ambiguous.

>For starters revealing that a witch exists is fucking stupid. It kills the tension of the film because YOU KNOW that it exists. If we weren't shown her we could have doubted the family members but nope.

This is the dumbest part. The film tries to build up this atmosphere of paranoia with how the family starts suspecting each other but the viewer already knows what's going on.

Film was mediocre in general. Retards will jerk off over it because it's a mainstream horror film with no jumpscares and "muh atmosphere" even though the atmosphere was shit and the film had barely any horror elements beyond a scene near the start.

A fellow Brit, I suppose.

I'm mostly with you, that guy is either baiting or really dumb, but Thomasin is "The Witch".

Boring as fuck. Not scary. Two hours of assholes being miserable and crying.

She doesn't look attractive here. She looks better blonde like way hotter

I think you'd take it too if thou were starving

Well maybe he should have left it ambiguous if he cannot create tension in any other way. Showing woods with creepy sounds doesn't cut it anymore. We all know exactly what's going to happen and when, the movie is pretty straight forward in it's menu. Did someone doubt that Caleb was dead when they went into the woods? Was someone surprised when the mther went nuts? Formulaic.

Would you REALLY say that Caleb got seduced? He was lost in the woods, alone and scared after seeing his dog dead. Then a lady comes out of a cabin in the woods. Might as well be the Frankestein monster, if I were him I would get close too. Plus it doesn't make sense even if she seduced him because he's horny. So what? What's the point? Why the apple? Why releasing him?

Black Phillip spoke to twins. You don't know if this is true or just a stupid lie until the end of the movie. Even if it is true what did he say? Thomasin won witch powers, what did the twins get? Where are they? Did they get a deal? Why are they walking around being creeps, insulting or accusing their family memebers for nothing? It's Black Phillip basically Aizen with keikaku power?

It's based off folk/fairy tales. Did you miss that? I did notice that it doesn't show that on Netflix

>if you were starving

She wasn't starving she was still pretty chunky.

How do you some of you faggots not realize how supremely cliche it is by this point for a film to cast ambiguity over whether or not its events are literal or psychological? It was an interesting narrative device in the mid-20th century, but it has since been so fucking overused by hack filmmakers and writers who think it automatically makes a story three-dimensional and intelligent.

>it's based off folk tales

No it isn't, it's based of the wikipedia page for witchcraft. Probably didn't do any research beyond that.

>cast ambiguity

There's no ambiguity at all in this film.

The opening shot has witches flying through the air.

No I didn't. In retrospect I thought of it as Satan giving you what you want (freedom) but at a cost

If people want a slow burn horror with a literary feel to it, I'd recommend "I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House." It's on netflix.

Nice reading comprehension.

Satan wasn't literally offering her a pretty dress and butter, he was offering luxury and pleasure "to live deliciously", expressed in terms a simple girl could understand. Consider she has probably never handled money (man's business), worn jewellery or tasted wine.

I'll give you them showing the witch but as Points out its cliche as fuck

I treated this more as a fable

Also the kids were just fucking annoying trying to fuck with their sister. Little kids are stupid shits like that

t. Ex elementary school teacher

Fuck me I have to rewatch this now

Am I pleb guys?? I thought I was somewhat of a film buff

How could I miss this

He's giving her the power to fly through the air, hang out with ugly naked chicks, and rub ground up baby guts all over her body, and molest little boys. She gets it.

But Caleb wasn't dead. The witch, in service to Satan, returned him to his family so he could continue tearing them apart.

And l'd say it's pretry clear he was seduced. Why else would the old hag turn into a beautiful woman and eyefuck him as he was nearing the hut?

You complain about the lack of ambiguity in regards to the witch and say everything was predictable, and yet you bitch that the relationship between Black Philip and the twins wasn't spelled out for you. They're stupid kids and a goat spoke to them, they were probably nothing more than pawns to him.

>Also the kids were just fucking annoying trying to fuck with their sister
Real elementary teacher here and you can fuck off. There's something called child annoyance that happens all the time, true. Straight up selling your sister when your whole family is in tension around YOUR DEAD BROTHER'S BODY and then pretending to be asleep because "she bewitched us!" is straight up malice or evil.

Holy shit you motherfuckers are retarded.
Pleb filter fucking supreme.
So many fucking retards itt alone thathave no idea how to criticize without comparing to shit modern tropes

What the fuck do Calvinists really believe this?

How is that possible? How are you dammned before birth?

I thought they were puritans like Baptists

>Why else would the old hag turn into a beautiful woman
And this is how i know you're fucking retarded

Puritans, Baptists, and Calvinists are three different things.

Children can be evil like that though (why I'm at a university now or trying to be anyway) especially considering they had be en talking to black Phillip, who in my opinion was after thomasin the whole time.

Alright so why did the witch seduce the little boy

Nigga what the fuck are you doing, replying and using spoilers isn't this hard. COme on man you are losing my respect.

Yeah, I will agree that he was seduced, ok. Can you straight up explain to me why he vomited an apple? Because the original sin you are going to say but WHY EXACTLY THAT SIN and what does the script mean with it? What relevance does the original sin have here? When I see the fucking windows in citizen kane I understad why they are opened or closed, I get why something is lighten up or in darkness. That's symbolism that works and makes sense in the context on the movie. So what does the apple mean?

Guessing the intention of characters that act like retards for absolutely no reason isn't my job, the movie should explain it to me becase that's what good movies do; give us motivation. According to you the twins acted that way because they are stupid kids who got manipulated and followed the commands of a talking goat from the very beginning. I could buy it if they weren't kids from this overly religious family that believe that the devil hides anywhere. "but the goat seduced them" by giving them something I guess, and I wanna know what it is and what happened to them. No, I shouldn't have to figure this out, the movie should give me indications of what the fuck happened with these characters.

Ohh ok I understand now. From what you posted Calvinists are dumbest of the three

I know puritans are gone but are Calvinists still around?

There's legit criticism and there's being dumb. You are somehow right in between. Film does have flaws, but you not getting it isn't one of them

Don't fall for the meme, it's fucking dogshit.

Not that guy you are arguing but I would say by original sin and the apple I think it goes back to home being seduced. Eve was seduced by Stan he was seduced by the witch. Also remember he lied to his mom and said they were looking for apples.

Best I could do considering I am unsure where the other rguy was going with it

Alright so I looked up Calvinists on wiki

Says they call themselves Presbyterians now. Hmm always wondered what those guys were

Ok so Catholics, Protestants, and Baptists are the cool ones.

Pentecostals, Calvinists, and Mormons are weird.

I have a good view on it now no?

>Baptists
>good ones

Kek. Also, protestant covers a whole swath of Christians. It's pretty much all the denominations that broke from Catholicism that aren't Eastern Orthodox.

You're a fucking idiot. Read his post again.

Baptists and Anabaptists are probably the worst.

Mormons are kind of out there, but they're pretty decent people for the most part.

POST WITCH ASS

what about Swedenborgians?

...

I gotta say, that ending was pretty anticlimactic. They're witches, daughters of Satan. Could have done a little more than her joining them and then flying off because their planet needs them. I mean she literally sold her soul.

you people hate Shymalakek but still want everyfucking movie to have LE TWIST.

fuck you, seriously. learn to appreciate non-ambiguous stories. there are a lot more to see in films than your fucking predictable desires.

just like in music, everyone waiting "for the drop". this generation is mentally fucked.

But user, you could see the world and taste butter if you give over your soul to satan!

You're fucking dogshit

Something else that really killed the tension for me was when I realized that the family's situation was just going to keep getting worse and worse. When you know that things will just keep on sliding downwards, it makes it too predictable.

Also, something that bothered me was that you can see the Devil's face in the final scene. It would have been a much spookier scene if you just knew he was there without seeing his half obscured face.

However, I think this film should be given a little bit of leeway, since much of it was directly lifted from fairy and folk tales. Remember that many fairy tales are fucking retarded

>one day there was a boy who played with his thumbs
>his parents decided to cut off his thumbs one day

This is what a german bedtime story was 300 years ago.

POST VVITCHFU ASS

Are you confusedmatthew?

THIS

>Fifth, I don't understand the movie.

Pretty much

>For starters revealing that a witch exists is fucking stupid. It kills the tension of the film because YOU KNOW that it exists. If we weren't shown her we could have doubted the family members but nope.

this bothered me the most of anything in this film

I dont think calvinists and puritans followed the same dogma as far as deteeminism. Could be wrong about that though.

Dear lord it is a sin for these digits to remain unchecked.

I dont think they said anything about calvinism. All i remember is that the unbaptized baby automatically goes to either hell or purgatory, thats not the same as determinism.

This. It had a very "cautionary tale/folklore" vibe to it that just felt so captivating even if you knew that shit was going to go down. The fact that it just plays everything straight from start to finish without any presumptions of "what if it's just symbolism/hallucinations/purgatory etc." is also a rarity for horror films today.

Wait what? Christians literally thought that there was nothing wrong with the film and even praised it, especially since it reinforced HOW you could easily fuck up the whole "faith in God" aspect by blindly putting everything on your belief without actually making the effort to take positive action.

The film just about depicts them being so blind in their faith that they just try to solve it by praying non-stop all while basically backstabbing each other on their shit.

>Fifth, I don't understand the movie.
yeah, we can tell.

Man fuck this movie so hard. People were shilling the hell out of it so I went to see it. I expected to see some witches doing scary shit but all I got was a silly character drama about some stupid ass family with accents I could barely understand.

Fuck this movie.

>seduced by Stan
This Stan fella seems like a real smooth operator. I dont know if i like the cut of his jib.

From this interview: newsweek.com/interview-robert-eggers-anya-taylor-joy-witch-movie-428681

>The audience’s understanding of Thomasin’s character is bolstered by the decision to show so early in the film that, yes, there is something in the woods. We know very early on that this is not a movie about wondering whether Thomasin is a witch or not. It's not that kind of psychological game.
>RE: The reason to show the witch so early on is that audiences don't know what a 17th century witch was in the minds of these people. So people need to know, "Oh, this is what the stakes are" right away.
>A T-J: And to be able to involve themselves in that fear, because the witch is real. That was their reality.… It was intense fear.
>RE: Yeah, people talk about, like, "Oh, these are folktales, that they said to scare children to keep them out of the woods." No. William [the family patriarch], when he's denying that there's a witch involved, it's not that he doesn't believe in the witch. It's that he has so much pride that he doesn't want one in his house. And if his belief isn't pure enough, if he's not part of the elect, then he is susceptible to the witch.

>In a way, it’s fundamentally hypocritical to be as devout in the way that he is, because he's so proud of it, when that's exactly the thing he's not supposed to be
>AT-J: Lots of hubris.
>RE: I mean, that's what made America. [Laughs.]

Also this basically covers most of the shit that went down: slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2016/02/23/the_witch_director_robert_eggers_on_the_real_history_behind_the_movie_s.html

Also forgot to mention, but I honestly can't wait to see what he has in mind for his take on Nosferatu. It's always been my favorite Dracula film and I can't help but feel that after seeing The Witch, his style of playing things straight with a creeping/unsettling atmosphere seems really appropriate for Nosferatu.

This has so far been the only english speaking movie I've had to turn subtitles on for.
It's not so much because they spoke thee and thou bullshit, but because they mumbled quietly and fast, so I had no idea what old ass words they were saying.
It was meh at best.

I saw it in the cinemas and was actually disturbed. It became popular, so Sup Forums calls it a meme and hates it
But if you enjoy horror movies, you could do so much worse. Make sure to watch it late at night in a comfy setting

Anyone got the hookup on a free stream?

This. Annoying as fuck.

As far as the movie goes, it was simply boring. It's been years since I've seen a good horror movie so I was legitimately disappointed after hoping so much that it would be good.

>wanting to live un-deliciously

What happened to my Sup Forums?
Why do the plebs run so rampant?
Why are Sup Forums and fucking /lit/ laughing at us?
Where the fuck am I expected to go to talk about good films? Where am I expected to go to ostracize plebes without being ostracized myself for not having shit taste?
Man when I come to these boards on this site I expect there be some limits on taste. When did we allow these normies in?
Just fucking kill it numoot. Let the board die.

The suspense isn't about if the witch exists, its about if the family can remain together and the ontological condition of their souls dumbass

Movies aren't ever scary though

I like the black goat in this movie

>not wanting to live deliciously

Yes, Calvinism is founded upon a belief in predestination. One of the most well known Calvinist works is John Edward's "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon during the first Great Awakening.

Essentially it argues that it is only by God's will that people are saved or damned, and that the ability to do good and observe the proper faith is in and of itself predetermined by God and that true free will is non-existent.

I still don't understand why people shilled this drama as it were a legit horror movie.
It's pretty boring to be honest
>but but muh atmosphere muh pleb
Yeah man 2 hours of wood chopping and crying, so deep

You are actually too stupid for this movie if you couldn't understand the accents and just wanted to see scary setpieces

I like Sup Forums despite its shortcomings. /lit/ on the other hand is as close to the stereotypical "le deep thinker fedora" stereotype as I've ever encountered.

That whole board is just super broad misinterpretations of Nietzsche and Kafka, a chunk of classic lit, a few approved contemporary works (DAE "American Psycho", "A Confederacy of Dunces", Pynchon and McCarthy?!?) and then a shitload of pulpy fantasy and sci-fi.

For a board that wants so desperately to be seen as academic and knowledgable they sure do fit every negative stereotype about basic-ass shallow edgelords that has ever existed.

>omg they aren't circlejerking about the goat and the 'atmosphere' must be newsfugs !! reee!

>unironically posting Pepe
>epic.png
Stay pleb.