I'm 19 and have been living with my mom after high school...

I'm 19 and have been living with my mom after high school, I was being beaten by my stepdad for 7 years of my life until she finally divorced him, I have barely any skills and didnt really cultivate a friend group outside of online because I feared leaving my room. I got a job about a year ago that was finally not just mowing lawns and shit, then it closed down a few months later, for the past month and a half I've been looking everywhere for jobs and handing out resumes constantly without getting more than two interviews while feeling awful about my lack of contribution. I try to take care of home stuff by my spoiled younger sister who was always the favorite today after pitching a fit for me doing her days old load of dishes finally broke the straw with my suicidal mom, she has for months now been lining up the ability for her to leave to a different city and finally is doing so, it will be good for her and I'm okay with it even though my sister needs parenting, but she isnt going to become a better person so I may as well give up too. She will still pay for the house but fairly wont allow me to live there if I cant pay half the rent, I still will continue to look for a job but I cannot even get an interview with mcdonalds or convenience stores, I never learned to drive because I've been poor and knew I couldnt afford a car which really limits how far I can go for a job, but I've been applying as far as two hours away by train, I'm starting to think I may be unemployable unless I know someone (this is a city of nepotism, nobody is hired unless you know someone or you're a temporary foreign worker) so because of a lack of friends or family in this city I have not been able to find a job through those sources either. I'm completely lost now and all I can do is keep applying and hoping, but the deadline is getting closer and I have no idea what will happen to my sister if shes left alone in the house as a 12 year old.

What should I do?

What city are you from?

I ran out of space, and I already know I'm a loser, I just want some helpful advice, I would post this anywhere but Sup Forums if I wasnt too afraid of not being anonymous, but yes I am a loser and yes I should kill myself, I would kill myself but I cant be selfish and do that to my family. I dont want to take the easy way out and I just want to work hard and be on the right track again but I'm not even being given the opportunity, I have nowhere to turn now and I cant trust anyone I know in real life with how I'm feeling

Yeah I realize Sup Forums isnt my personal diary and op is a faggot and all that but I really do need any advice or just another human to hear me, I know you all likely dont know how to help either but I guess venting does help even if its pretty stupid of me

I'd rather not man, canada though

just sell vids of your sister online :)

ok country is fine, just askin

canada only seems fine through the BS that the world eats up about it

go on all the job websites and send out more resumes
then go to all of the websites for places you want to work and look for 'career' at the bottom and apply there too
then go to craigslist and apply for local jobs there

I wish I had more advice, just find any job and then look for a better one when you are working
Try to get out on your own, its tough but doable

I typed out a reply then the page reloaded so I'll make it short, I've tried all of that but have only gotten an interview from it, I havent tried craiglist very thoroughly since the career page in my city is mostly prostitutes

so just leave my sister then? how am I supposed to live with that? do I call social services? that kind of destroys any chance at the family ever taking legal action against this guy who beat us all for years

Military

you won't be able to move out soon so you arent leaving her right now
If you say she is spoiled im sure she is being taken care of and not in a dangerous situation
You gotta get your shit together if you before you are even able to help anyone else

I've looked into it in the past, the canadian military is small and doesnt begin paying for a while until you've gone through a few ranks, even if I was hired immediately as a chef or whatever I would be on base and not in the city, I need to be around so my sister doesnt live alone. Not a bad suggestion if I lived in the states

look above all else you need exercise any form any format whatever you can just do it, if walking around the block/to end of street and back is it then do it.

eventually get a run routine going its very common and very rewarding like have a 3km circuit OR WHATEVER you do twice a week you need something at that age and in your position to balance out the chemicals in your head to make you more functioning as a person.. you'll get more out of life because you feel better...

obviously you probably dont have this chance rn but if you ever do smoke weed

hows canada with student support? do something at uni or like old m8 said go military if it fulfils what you want/need

Also learn a skill and learn it well, try to learn it for cheap as possible and then get a job doing it

she is definitely not being taken care of, by spoiled I mean she was never beaten and sided with the guy who beat us, she likes to hit and my mom is at a loss for how to discipline her (could just take away her technology but nope) so instead she slips further into depression and anxiety, but no she is definitely not being parented or taken care of.

And again I cant leave her alone in the house, my mother will be moving to a different city to take on a new job and part of that includes purposely leaving my sister behind so as she says "she can continue to exist"

Just make sure to stay out of legal trouble so you can keep this option open.

well you better do something
you are about 15 years younger than me and it seems people your age aren't trying hard enough
they say looking for a job is a full time job
get your ass out there and find one

Have u tried temp agencies?

thanks /fit/ but I already excercise daily and dont have any issue with physical fitness, I quit cigarettes and weed and any substances years ago and dont plan to pick them back up, your advice is good and I agree with it although I already use exercise to regulate my mood, I just feel like no amount of exercise can fix the situation or make me feel better about this.

Canada's student support is only for citizens or people who finished high school, I was one or two credits short and I'm now old enough that I cant go back to school for free, I dont have the time to anyways, military doesnt function the way it does in canada so if I wanted to be in the military as a career I would have had to signed up years ago and worked my way through the ranks to be making a salary by now.

do you know any in canada? I havent found any in my job searches or come across them but I wouldnt doubt they exist, do they sometimes go by another name I can search them up by?

look up 'temp agencies in canada' and find one near you
I feel like hitting you too

Employment offices/agency..thats how i got a shitty truck parts job but shizzz a jobs a job

you assume I havent been because I'm younger, but I've never had anything handed to me and I've always had to work hard for anything, the internet and laptop I'm writing this on I paid for from my own savings, insulting that you assume I'm lazy and not taking such a serious situation seriously by not looking for a job just because of my age. Shit finally hits a breaking point for me and some old man wasting his remaining years on Sup Forums has the fucking nerve to comment on "people in my generation" fuck yourself asshole.

ahh then yes I've been going to lots of employment agencies and signing up, some of them require me to be native or have earned less than a certain amount per year and rejected me, I had some success with a few that were in service canada buildings and was told I would hear back in two weeks, but havent heard back.
real tough over the internet

thats a big issue for a lot of them, when they find out I dont have a license (learners would take a few years first before I could get one), I was assuming temporary work meant something else other than employment agencies

1. coming up with excuses why everyones idea wont work
2. insulting people trying to help you
3. immature faggot with a bad attitude
I wonder why you can't find a job
you'll go far in life friendo

explaining why I've tried, but I have a good 50 tabs open now with almost everyones suggestion taken in a new light, but the fact is most people have suggested nothing novel and shit I've already figured I should do on my own. Who have I insulted that was genuinely trying to help me and not also being an asshole?
Bad atitude.. yeah of course, I feel fucking awful right now, I'm at the end of my fucking rope here and I'm not trying to sugarcoat anything, I'm in a bad fucking mood and I feel angry at myself and everyone who suggests something thinking its an original idea, there isnt one fucking thing in this entire thread besides craigslist that I havent daily put my best foot forward on and went out and did.

self righteous asshole.

ok so I was the one that suggested craislist

so sorry im not a genius and can't give you a magic solution to solve your problems

people aren't giving you 'novel' ideas so sorry we cant spoon feed you magic again and they are such assholes trying to help you right

so you worked hard, you are 19 idiot you haven't worked hard for long. come back when you are beaten to death by life at age 50
little shit

I'm sorry if you've been beaten to death by life at age 50, but why are you browsing Sup Forums at 50?

No shit I wasnt expecting a bunch of geniuses, maybe more some ideas on how to get through the next few days, the /fit/ guy had the best one so far and that was to just go workout to feel better in the short term.

If you're 50 and arguing with a 19 year old on Sup Forums then at least I know I'll never be like you. that cheers me up some. But how about you go fuck off and jack it to lolis you old fuck, I get that you're a lost old man trying to feel better about your life by looking down on someone younger than you and pointing out their shortcomings on a fucking anime board talking about how fucked up they feel, but yeah your idea fucking sucked.

With one comment assuming my work ethic you turned my sadness to anger, I'm already insecure enough by being out of work for so long and you shit on me at my lowest point. how fucking low does that make you?

then you need to transfer your efforts into performance or some feedback loop of self gratification in that performance. gives life meaning, career study whatever

I didn't say I was 50, you assumed that
that makes an ass out of you and you only

you're an asshole and you run your fuckin mouth

notice nobody is left in this thread trying to help you out?

keep up the good work
oh wait, you don't have a job

Too many words

Is your sister hot?
Post pics

She's 12...

That's not what i asked.

Honestly OP, It doesn't get better. My mom left me alone when I was 16 i just came home one day and she was gone. I still don't know where she is I'm about to turn 20 and I have nothing going for me. I was homeless for about a year met some really interesting people. I thought I had friends but I have such linear views on everything it's really hard for me to get along with anyone. Meanwhile after suicide attempt number 2 I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia although I don't believe in that stupid shit because some psychologist knows how I think? aside from my tangent. I don't think were ever supposed to have an answer, Just do what fits you best your little sister is not your responsibility. I can tell you the happiest I have ever been was when I really let go of everything.

I come to Sup Forums to shitpost and feel better, after witnessing you and how much of a cunt I could be I do feel better, I never really expected good feedback from Sup Forums, I wanted to vent and not have to worry about it coming back to me. I can act however the fuck I want and thats the great thing about this post to me, sometimes I feel like being a dick, you definitely take the cake on being a dick right back. Good job taking the bait, and more importantly thank you for being such a self righteous cunt, do you feel better or like you won? please do
I type fast, I didnt run my mouth once, just typed a lot of shit out, and I can keep it up as long as you can keep up being a cunt and feeling like the most popular guy on Sup Forums. Thats some real loser shit right there. I'm not trying to impress any of you retards and I dont give a fuck what you really think about me because I automatically judge you all as retards for being on here and can disregard you all as people for being anons.

I feel that, my mother is the type of person to believe sandy hook was a false flag while still being liberal as fuck. Its such an insane paradox, I dont want to relive the shit she does or says so I wont talk about it but you've definitely had it worse and are living the nightmare I feared for so long, I really do have a lot to be thankful for that she hasnt left the family yet. I have friends but no real friends because I've learned to totally hide my inner self and never talk about anything to do with me, I feel like a chameleon sometimes just switching between friend groups and none of them ever really knowing me. I believe some therapists can help but on my poor ass budget I can never afford a quality one, I think if you have the money you should give it another try though, even if they dont know how you think they may be able to recognize some patterns and help. And you're right, thanks for listening man, you're a real solid user and I hope life looks up for you. I dont know about letting go of my sister though because I dont want her to ever be more fucked up than I am, I dont think I could live with doing that to her.

I wouldn't say I've had it worse user, I really learned a lot from my experiences. It's a different spectrum for everyone, certain events, certain actions. they all correlate to a bigger picture and no one shares the same picture. I feel the chameleon thing. I really don't think I'm a looney but I'm not sure anymore. (edge coming) I've really been thinking about how pointless life really is in the grand scheme of things. i can't really put it into words to explain as it's more of a feeling. but at the end of the day were just animals who believe we have true sentience. in my opinion being born is the worst thing that can happen because it gives a false sense of worth. I can honestly say it's a cock-tease. that's where my "do what you want" attitude comes from. because at the end of the day were not gonna be remembered. the sun will explode and eventually everything will come to an end. It's really depressing to think about so I tend to just go for a walk until I feel better. I hope everything works out for you user and if you're scared of being homeless, don't be I can honestly say it's not as bad as you think. you meet a lot of nice people with stories 10x worse than ours :) good luck

Yawn