Bad kid thread, tell stories of illegal things you did as a kid

Bad kid thread, tell stories of illegal things you did as a kid.

Underage drinking obvi, also would lie to grown women online and tell them I was 18 then engage in sexual stuff with them

...

no such thing as a 'bad kid' only bad parenting

Did that since the age of about 11. Way more fun when you're blatently underage and older women like playing with you.

>Friend and I took cap guns and "robbed the bank" on Main Street.

Thank God we lived in a small town, and some years back, or we'd be dead now, I guess.

>They gave us lollipops and called our parents to come get us.

Truly it was a golden age.

when i was a kid I wanted to prove this wrong by committing murders and shit and then killing myself so nobody would understand why
kek, yea its also fun when you're the one playing with them. I had a 36 year old woman licking up her cum off her mattress as her kids were knocking on her bedroom door once

went to high school in a big city. the school had small windows that could not be opened, and a closed central circulation system.

broke in with three buds and smoked pot for 15 minutes before sneaking out. every classroom smelled like pot for over half the day.

never caught.

Don't even get me started with the mom stuff. I was doing this shit in the 90s and early 00s on Yahoo messenger. That place was crazy.

>Grown women online
>Women
>online

I have news for you buddy...

yummy lets hear it! I'm a millennial so obvi my stories don't go that far back.

yea i got duped man i totally didn't just ask if they were a girl or guy and trust them based on that answer.

You name it. Moms with their kids, boys and girls. Sisters with sisters, brothers, etc. Pretty much everything you can imagine.

sounds like some wild times, did you save anything?

I recall making a grown woman cry when I found out she had a hand fetish so i wrote her name on my hand with a heart. Think of broken this woman must've been that she cried over that shit. I guess she was needy since her husband was like 70

Nah this was before I realized that was even capable.

Broke into my elementry school as a kid with two friends, vandalized the furnature and stole all of the candy. We got caught when we grabbed the fire extinguishers and sprayed them everywhere inside the buidling. The fire alarms went off and the construction workers caught us.


Also, shot painballs at cars on a main road (45mph) Got caught but this cool teenager let us go, explaining how we could have hurt someone. Decided to shoot marbles out of the painball gun instead so it was less traceable.

We had like a huge network of boys with single parents throughout the neighborhood and we were all the same age. Mothers at work, raising ourselves. It was a pretty decent childhood.

My friend and I destroyed a truck at our local supermarket when we were about 8-9 years old. Never got caught.

got ya. Everything for me was on iphone apps so it was well documented.
sounds pretty dope, any rapes or stuff like that?
how did that happen?

knocked over a couple liquor stores when I was 15, stole bikes, usual ghetto spic shit.

A friend of mine once dropped a full can of 7up from an overpass on to a pedestrian's head below.
The guy crossed a stream and climbed a hill to come catch us. He had a half-circle mark embedded in his head, and started throwing rocks at us, but every one missed.
We could not stop laughing.

I mean, one that we found out about 10 years later. A friends sister got raped by an unknown and she turned mentally insane and lesbian. Most of us lost our virginity around 12-13 by the neighborhood sluts around our age.

It was pretty dope. Good times now in the past.

A lot of us got into drugs, a few into prison, a lot of us went to county various times for MICs, DWIs, drug possession. It was always hilarious to run into one of them randomly while locked up in county. It made the time go by quicker.

I used to beat up girls because I liked it. Did it in a marriage once, there was an unocuppied empty room with chairs and tables and the lights turned off, and I went there with a cousin and a friend of mine and we started beating her on the ground. Then her mom came up and all. I think I never realized it because my infant mind didn't have a concept of what sexuality was but now that I'm older I think that this turned me on as a kid. Me and my friend were like 7 or 8 yo by that time, and she was probably 4 or 5 yo

so never any gangbangs? I'd expect a bunch of young horny boys running a neighborhood to have cornered a girl once in a while for a gangbang
damn sun u got married at 8

When I was 14-17, me and some mates used to dress like ninja / SOF faggots and break into a local school camp site in the boonies where I lived. We wouldn't break anything, just pick locks, play with timers and rearrange furniture so it looked like it was beibg fucked with. Later, they got a live in janitor. So we did the same but quieter. Hard mode enabled. Never got busted. This was back in the early 90's. I'm nearly 40 now :(

No gangbang rapes. Not into that. We took turns and the girls were always DTF.

vn

used to prank dial 911 in middle school idk why

sounds dope, also sounds depressing but i keked about your age.
that's lame af
why
thats terrible

Used to be a little thief and stole for the buzz didn’t even need the stuff. It was before cameras in shops like I’m 38 now, so 25 years ago
Not big things just sweets or fishing tackle from the shop local to us

Nah, you get off to this shit, so I'm abandoning thread. Fuck you faggot.

Not exaggerating - millions of CFAA violations.

Several dozen of the kind that actually get prosecuted.

Accepting bribes.

B&E, disorderly conduct, larceny, obstruction of justice, conspiring to commit X crime.

Never smoked a cigarette or marijuana joint, never drank until I turned 21. Managed to only ever get a disorderly conduct on my juvenile record, and kept it clean since I turned 18.

idek which user you are
yea it seems like a lot of anons stole candy when they were kids
das pretty cool, what were the cfaa violatios?

Cooked meth once, broke into 2 houses and more cars than i can remember, fucked my 2 younger sisters and my older cousin, swapped BJs with a my friend when we were in grade 2

this was between the ages of 8 and 16, havent done anything illegal since

the millions were mostly scripted website registrations using fake names - which is technically a CFAA violation.

the serious ones were unauthorized network access.

>sounds dope, also sounds depressing but i keked about your age.

Why depressing? It was fun as shit. My conscience is clean, as we never broke anything. We wore gloves and everything - no prints, not that the cops would care about such homo behaviour.

The age is irrelevant. I'm sure ancient Egyptian teens did the same thing back in their day. It's hard to find something that hasn't be done to death already.

We also used to drive cars around the rural roads since we were 12. I learned to drive at 8. Manual only, only rich cunts had autos back then. My stripped down Holden HJ 1 tonner ute with 202ci went quick enough.

I went to private school for a while and really liked psychologically pushing really pussy teachers to their limits by becoming close with them and even becoming friends with their kids, after that'd I'd usually bribe them or try to ruin certain aspects of their lives or get them fired, got 2 teachers fired and 1 teacher to leave the school in high school and before that in middle school had a teacher have to leave the classroom to see the nurse because she basically had a panic attack before class

Sisters story?

I looked up the lady mannequins dresses in Boscov's

In a former life I was a Mormon Missionary. In the MTC "Mission Training Center" we lived in multi-story dorms.

I came across a key to the toilet paper and paper towel dispenser. Four of us removed every single paper product from the entire building. Long story short, every single person who took a crap the next morning was stuck without toilet paper.

It was fucking hilarious. But, of course, one guy bragged about it and we all were threatened with being sent home as "dishonorable servants of God."

Still a proud moment in my life.

Hardcore mofo right here!

I fucked one cousin as a teenager. I got sucked off by my other cousin as a married 30year old. It took me awhile, but I completed the goal.

no no i only meant the 40 year old part is depressing. To reminisce about such cool shit and then have to say you're 40 :(

so what did you do to them? Like i was always an obnoxious sarcastic shit to my teachers and they kicked me out of class and such but that was pretty much it.

Pretty sure I never broke a law as a kid other than curfew and speeding on the road.

Not a kid thing , but my wife and I had sex with an Episcopal priest and his wife.

That was you!

Why yes... Yes it was.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

when was this, the fucking 50s

The golden age indeed. Jealous as fuck. If I did that in the 80's I'd get a whack in the back of the head from the shop worker, then kicked out the door, sans toy guns.

I once stole a butterscotch candy from the mixed candy bins at the grocery store. I was 4. I sat at the front curb of my house, looking back every few seconds to see if my mom was coming.

Hopefully you’ve received 6-7 solid ass kickings since then

Jeremy? Is this you?

neighbor next door had plenty of cats
well i liked to kill them
used to set traps for them and shit
once i sharpened a small leghold trap just to cut off cats foot but cat got stuck and fucked off with my trap. the girl next door came over mad as hell holding a three legged cat and my gopher trap. i asked for my property back.

> be 5
> Decide might take sister for a walk around the block
> She's about 9 months old
> Mums out the back hanging up the laundry, reckon I'll be back before she has finished so no need to tell her
> Little sis already in her stroller, so I wheel her out the front door and head off
> Half way round the block realise this is boring, need to spice it up somehow
> I know, I'll run home
> Head down I power up my little 5 year old legs and while pushing the pram I gun it
> This is kinda cool, see if I can run even faster
> Wheel hits a rock and the pram flips
> I fall forward, hit the deck, see my baby sister fly through the air and land on the grass
> She starts screaming
> Oh shit, I'm probably in big trouble now
> Get up dust myself off and haul ass outta there
> Run back home leaving my sister lying on the side of the road
> Get home sit back down in the lounge watch TV
> user, where have you been? Where is your sister?
> I dunno, I think a man took her
> Mum spergs out
> 10 seconds later a knock at the door, some random old lady returns the pram and baby
> I saw a small boy pushing her and he fell over and ran off
> My ass got whooped big time by mum
> Had to wait til dad got home for another ass whooping

oh man. i used to live in holland when i was younger.

>be eurofag
>holland to be specific
>every year we celebrate new years eve with fireworks
>be 12 year old little shit on the day before new years
>hang around with my fellow dickhead friends
>we all armed with those small bangers and what not
>go to our school (small town, 10 minute walk)
>no one there
>perfect
>see open window to the bathrooms, from the outside like
>we all flash a devilish grin
>start lighting bangers
>fuck them into the open window
>POP POP POP
>we laugh like the little shits we are


>one of my more daring friends pull out a fucking "thunder king" (dunno if that rings a bell to anyone)
>pic
basically, its a firework you set down, it pops off pretty hard and launches a second piece of firework into the air with all the colors
>dude lights that shit and tosses it into the window
>BANG! BOOM!
>the mother fucker had five on him
>"i'll use two, i wanna blow up some post boxes later lmao"
>second one goes in too
>BANG ... BOOOM
>run the fuck off

>once we're back from break, we hear that the entire bathroom was covered in soot and the cardboard stuff from the fireworks
>one of the toilet bowls was destroyed
>we were never caught, never spoke to anyone about it

and yeah, we totally put some of the thunder kings in post boxes later

Proud of you for 1) the harmless prank, and 2) getting the fuck out of that nonsense

Sent a dick pic to a black girl in the town over when I was 16. She didn't send back, and she also showed it to everyone in the 2 towns. I still like black girl, but I hate that she-boon to this day.

>sell drugs in high school
>spend money on more drugs, still pretty rich
>find out about hookers
>instabroke before reaching 20
>havent spent money on hos for 4 years now

I once ate an expired mre.

Here’s the cousin that blew me:

LOL you were never rich, kid.

Nobody cares, Mr. Trump. Go back to your golf cart

Don't really have illegal, but have some funny stories my mum likes to tell about my shenanagins.

>be me, 4-5 y/o
>raised by bogans in straya
>have done the nullabor at least once or twice
>mum has a friend come with us so they can take turns driving, her name is Jodie
>so I'm strapped into the back seat in my lil car chair thing and mum's driving with Jodie in the passenger seat
>Jodie can't find her chocolate that she KNOWS she brought on the trip
>accuses me of eating it
>deny it, didn't even know there was chocolate in the car
>we stop at a servo (gas station) and she goes to buy some more while my mum refuels
> apparently I decided I was gonna fuckin' find that chocolate bar, because I'm innocent fuck ya
>they both come back, we get started dwon the road
>pull out disgusting, sloppy wet chocolate bar I found at the bottom of the esky
>slap it on her lap
>there's your chocolate you fuckin lala
>mum crying from laughter, Jodie fucking pissed, soggy chocolate all over her lap
>Was innocent the whole time

I didn't break any laws other than curfew and speeding on the road.

Okay, that's a little far, cool your jets, man

lol how fucking old are you? 78? how the fuck did you get to a site like this?

Fight me, bucko

Bait. You'd have your leg removed with a rusty axe in my day.

>fucking millennials
>take some fucking responsibility for your own fucking actions

bump

This. Fuckin Millennial trash.

I used to steal condoms from the store and sell them for a dollar a piece at school during middle school.
I would use a small mirror to watch my step mom get ready for work in the mornings (she was closer to my age than my fathers age).
Spy on female neighbor's at night to see if I could catch some boobies.
Set booby traps up around the neighborhood hoping to randomly injure someone.
Hunt opossums with sticks (those fuckers are all sorts of aggressive when you corner them).
I got arrested at 17 for B&E at a rival high school.
Used to go "shopping" during the holiday season by breaking and entering stores and getting people stuff they wanted.
Used to sell tires and rims to people we knew for $20 per wheel/rim combo. They'd put in an order and we'd go find a make/model match on a dealership and leave the car on blocks.
Used to do the whole mailbox smashing routine. That stopped after we started using rebar to "joust" with parked cars and we found this one public style mailbox that was silver. We tried to take that thing out all sorts of ways. Drove past at 30mph and threw a 40lb log out the back of the pickup at it. Tow chains from axle of truck to box. Tried drilling it out, it had 2ft long anchor bolts into the concrete. Finally took the Mossberg to it. Dropped 5 shells into it and drove off. Came back the next day and the shells left dents. We gave up after that one.
There's more, I'm sure, but I'm drawing blanks. It's been over 20 years since we did all this shit.

Actually she was a bikini model when she was 18. That's why I set a goal to have sex with her as a horny 16 year old.

I would have fucked her instead of just getting a blow job. But we are both married. --And fucking her outright would have been a bit disrespectful.

>Spy on female neighbor's at night to see if I could catch some boobies.
>Set booby traps up around the neighborhood hoping to randomly injure someone.

We'll be knocking at your door in the morning.

Pic related, you fucker.

Thanks! My wife and I are pretty proud that we figured it out before A) our kids became indoctrinated Mo-bots and B) before we gave the cult too much money.

me and my friends of five used to meet up during the summer/weekends and walk to the campus of the uni that was downtown (University of Kentucky if that matters to you any). Pretty big uni considering its a D1 college so the place was filled with goodies. Most of the time we would walk to the Sports facilities and jump the fences and explore, and if we came across something cool we would just take it and nobody ever knew except for one time we got caught with stolen hoodies and we still have pending cases (felony) on those today haha. Another time we got into the football equipment room and filled a huge clear bag of at least $1000 worth of shit and walked about a mile through campus to the nearest mcdonalds to call an uber with all the looted shit on us.We did this pretty regularly. Good fucking times man.

lol. Statute of limitations exists, you moron. You can't frighten me by pretending to be law enforcement when you have zero knowledge of the law.

I used to sell condoms in high school, too, but the guys that bought them never used them. They just bought them to show them off like a status symbol.

Yup. Though, one dude I knew used them. He was a grunge skater/pothead. He was basically a high school student stuck in a middle school kid's body. Still, I didn't care they didn't use the. They were giving me their lunch money for the status.

I barely made any cash on them. Sold them for like 75 cents a piece. In total, I sold about 4 altogether in my 4 years of high school. Could've done better. But then again, I never had a real job until I was 19 and had graduated, so I had to improvise. Was going to sell oregano and leaves as weed, and put rubbing alcohol and syrup in a Jack Daniels bottle to sell, but never got to it.

I bought candy at wholesale prices at Costco and sold it at retail during high school to fund myself. My dad did not believe in allowances. I could earn $20 a month by doing a ton of chores, but that was all I could pull out of the house. I kept a really steady business selling mostly blowpops for a quarter a piece. Bought at 8 cents each, gives you a 300% markup. Great profit margin. I tried going with candy bars, but they'd melt a lot and I had some loss just from that.
I'd made about $6000 a year from the candy business during high school. I kind of wonder where my entrepreneurial spirit went after I left school. Probably fucked it up worrying so much about the consequences of the illegal activities I shared. lol.

Damn. Yeah, I never got an allowance either. Most I got paid for doing a chore was 10 cents, and years later, my stepdad promised I, my stepsister, and my cousin who lived with us at the time an allowance if we did the chores. I said no, since I knew I wouldn't get paid anyway, but they agreed. Sure enough, I was right. I was the only person in that whole house that had any insight out of everyone. Hated that damn house.

>lol. Statute of limitations exists, you moron. You can't frighten me by pretending to be law enforcement when you have zero knowledge of the law.

What's funnier is that the pic the user posted for you are boobies.

Who's the moron?

When I was in 5th grade, a middle school girl used to take into her garage put her hands down my pants and instruct me to kiss her boobs, etc... She'd get in trouble now, but I never saw it as being taken advantage of.

>and put rubbing alcohol and syrup in a Jack Daniels bottle to sell

But, that's a patented secret recipe they've been using. You could get in trouble for that.

This was high school. We all did some kind of stupid shit. Some things more illegal than others.

Yeah, I had to pull teeth to get my father to pay me what he owed me. I took a paper route for extra cash (not me, he did) for USA Today. It was once a week and he took 10,000 papers. he offered me a dime a piece to help him with it. I knew it was a rip, but I had nothing else to do on a wednesday night so I agreed. Did that for years. He said he'd put it in an account for me. Took me a decade to get him to give me the $3k he owed me for that.
Ah well, it was a lesson learned on why you don't defer payment for too long, no matter how much you should be able to trust a business partner.

I once a whole bottle.

Damn. I wish I had a job in high school, but no business wanted to hire me. I hated my life so much. Not any better now. Still unemployed, and no one will hire me. I hate this goddamn bullshit.

Well, I couldn't get the job, he had to get it. I had the candy income and I didn't NEED the paper route. I had my first job at Blockbuster when I was 18. I walked into the store and told the hiring manager I was her new employee. She laughed. I went out and started organizing the shelves. 4 hours later she hired me.

This is one of my favorites. Story time.
>be me
>at party with a bunch of other teenagers
>one friend in the group is 21, naturally we get wasted
>"user you hungry?"
>ohshit.nigger
>hop in friend's vehicle, get some burgers
>return to friend's house, park out front
>drunken me rummaging through my bag of food
>everyone else leaves me in car and goes in
>exit car, go inside
>"huh, it's dark in here"
>walk down hallway
>find man sitting in living room watching TV
>stumble over to him
>"hey there sir, my name is user"
>he shakes my hand, smiles at me
>I walk in front of him to the backdoor
>"huh, this doesn't look like my friend's backyard"
>go sit behind shed
>eat burger
>hear my name from across the way
>"user, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
>ohSHIT.jpg
>peak head over fence
>I'm in their neighbor's backyard

Just goes to show that if you act like you know what you're doing, people won't question you.

Freshman year of high school, really not feeling "school" that particular morning. I asked this kid how to get an in-school and he said to get in a fight. I've been in 4 fights prior to this from 7th grade. I knew that would get me OSS. He told me as long as it was the other kid's fault, I'd get an ISS instead ((therefore, a free day)). They got this kid from their first period who was an asshole who is also known for getting in trouble. They led him to the bathroom and I assaulted him, grabbed him, hit him over and over & brought him in the hall. I had him against the wall when the Spanish teacher comes out && I yell for "help" because "HE FUCKING HIT ME!" For about 2 hours, I lied to every teacher, guidance counselor and principal who asked with this story that "I thought we were friends :(" and he attacked me. Well, they found out and I got 3 days out.
TL/DR: Wanted free day, assaulted kid, lied, got caught

Another time in sophomore year, this annoying ass kid in my work experience class and I ((and the rest of the class)) were locked outside of the school. He starts being energetic for nothing and we were all telling him to stfu. He kicks me in the nuts and I told everyone "You didn't see this shit" and punched him twice. My knuckles bounced off his thick skull onto the brick wall and they're still scarred. Everyone there was my witness that nothing happened but it got taken to the office anyways. Long story short, he gave my girlfriend a grin before he went to the office and he came in really cocky with a grin on his face but the principal laid his shit out in front of him and got him in trouble for starting everything.
TL/DR: annoying kid hits me in the balls, two strong rights, kid gets in trouble

>be me
>15
>in boarding school
>freshman from another boarding school
>learn all kinds of bad stuff from friends at new school
>smoke cigarettes, hit people and even steal
>one day senior wanted to hit me
>I countered at beat him up
>crows_zero.jpg
>every kid of my grade waged war with the kids of the grade of that senior that wanted to hit me (10th grade)
>1 week war
>we technically won (mentally)
>fights do happens some time of that week but are broken off quickly
>almost had a royal rumble at the middle of the boys hostel
>did hit each other a bit during that scene
>everyone in this school hates their whole batch (grade) even after they graduated

I tried to poison my dad when I was 13, I crushed lots of effexor and put the powder into the bottle of apple juice that only he drank, it didn't do shit to him.

I've been working for the past year-and-a-half to get a job in my town. Got one a couple months ago, but I had it for 2 weeks. They told me they no longer needed me because business was so slow that one of the managers could do my job instead, so I was sent home and told that they'd call me in if they need me again. Call never came. Kept looking up until now, and I was just told last night by my bitch grandmother that I can't even try to get a job anymore, because now I'm being forced to stay and take care of her. I hate this goddamn family, and I can't wait until I get my motorcycle to tell them to fuck off. I hate my life some days.

Holy Crap you're old!

Balls and style. Good show user. It doesn't matter tge job or role, people may laugh at being so ballsy forca videoshop job, but it's respectable employment.

Not enough of this any more.

Underage faggot

inb4 iPhone existed

I moved from New York to East Tennessee in 8th grade. Rednecks kept starting fights with me, but I was tough but nice kid. When they'd give up, I'd stop.
Anyway, I got sick of it. So I beat the shit out of a bully and threw him into an upright bathtub-type urinal.
I get sent to the principal's office and the district superintendent happened to be there too. He looks at us and says, "Is your problem settled?" We say yes, and he sends the bully back to class all wet.
Then he looks at me and says, "It's about time you took care of things! I couldn't ignore the fights forever! I have a feeling they'll leave you alone now!" Then he laughs and sends me back to class!

My ex stepdad would steal food my brother and I made. So we cooked doughnuts and rubbed our ass, dicks, and nuts all over them. --He ate half of them.