God here

>God here.
Ask me Anything

Have you ever fucked a virgin?

Hey can you kill me right now painlessly please thanks allot

what is a holla-back girl?

yep
thrashed her
and she came

yep
thrashed her
and she came
no
probably drinking coffee

If you hate homosexuality so much, why is my g-spot in my asshole?

bible was written by man
there were some interpretation issues
no problem with homo sex

friend of a backstabbing crew

>no problem with homo sex
Are chickens OK?

Asking for a friend

When is my package coming in the mail? Tomorrow is Sunday so the mail doesn't run, but will I have to wait all the way until Wednesday?

they'll usually die horribly
bringing suffering to the world is a sin
idc if you wait till friday
any longer you should contact the mail provider

How do you feel about this god right here?

What do you do with everyone's thoughts and prayers during a tragedy?

Why does my chest hurt? There’s kind of a stabbing pain on the left side of my chest and I got a sudden headache. Also feel kinda detached from reality right now

Where is that grill you promised me

You didn't answer my question tho

When am I going to get a gf?

Why was I born with autism?

Kill yourselves

Never, because I made you gay

When will i get the noodz from her

>What do you do with everyone's thoughts and prayers during a tragedy?


...and where do our thoughts go after we die?

I’m the chest guy, please answer it’s getting worse

fuck off with your trolling synchronicities cunt

Can I call you daddy while you fuck me, daddy?

there are ten including me
Allah lives next door
idk about the others
connect true love
welcome them into my kingdom in the afterlife
make big tits asses and dicks and wider hips
The bones of Jesus works tirelessly
im just the reincarnated soul
though a god in my own right I help where I can
see a doctor or ill see you in the afterlife
is male
must chase
if not picky go to the philippines
when you go on holiday to the philippines
awesomeness comes in many forms
rack off
piss off
when you can
anime mostly
here
fuck off

Are Thailand and Taiwan the same place?

na legitb it aint funny cunt dont make me turn the world to satan

Could you leave a Nintendo switch by my bed. I want to wake up in the morning with one in my room.

nah I'm only interested in one girl ATM
no
Satan is just a wild dog in love with death and destruction
I've got a perfect lawn and he goes and digs holes in it
training him is going to take a long time.

a nintendo switch is something you can pester your birth parents about
I'm too busy saving earth from destruction.

imagine if that puppy hsd a tone of babies that are now going to be digging up your lawn, ill fucking turn the world into destroying your lawn wirh satan if you dont stop with the sychrononicities cunt

My parents are dead, I live with my uncle. You should know this.

Why is the Body of Christ a cracker and not a sausage?

I like sausages, and would go to church more if he was a sausage
and if you could fill the holy water fonts with Grey Poupon mustard, it would be good for business.

What religious people are your favorite? Jews? Christians? Muslims?
Who is the true Chosen sheep?

But I'm not a girl, daddy ;)

listen here you little twat
the devil is a personal family friend
i see him face to face regularly
im sorry im busy
i dont have time to get you a nintendo switch
if my powers were infinite the universe would have no sense or point to it..
tweet pope francis with that one
buddhists are my favourite
but i love them all
muslims are allahs people
ok good for you

Why is Satan the best prophet, "God"?

>I'm too busy saving earth from destruction.

How is that working out for ya?

Are the meek still going to inherit the earth?

Fuck drumpf and fuck white people?

So is Allah your brother or just a Moniker?
Also Yahwey is a better sounding name so why did you change it?

God, why can't the good woman sleep?

What's with the USA? Your idea of a joke?

you follow who you want
but FYI Satan caused the price of food to skyrocket and the price of pussy in SE Asia to match Western countries
I don't like his results
tiring
yes
fuck Drumpler
acutally this soul has been roughly 420 million different Gods
Allah fucks up then repents
He's done more damage to Earth than the Devil
But he actively tries to be better
I'm not sure who he is to me
If it were up to me he'd be a close friend and I would show him the way
but he's always busy with work, gym and girl.
The Good woman?
maybe she needs a bedtime story or song

I was there in my previous life
We kicked ass and had lots of fun
lately i wish i had taken the guns off america while I was there

Dude, every day is a tragedy.

>Allah lives next door
Schizoid much?

tragedy or accident
Jesus has many followers true to his command
and his bones are always busy helping the dead
commanding those under him to aid those in the afterlife

What the fucks up with Quantum Mechanics, my Lord?

>tweet pope francis with that one
@pontifex
@pontifex_es if you write in Spanish

that's the future of the future of the future of science
any results analyzed now would be mis interpreted
though readings kept in safe keeping may yet later turn out to be useful

Why do we drive in a parkway but park in a driveway

Because he controls almost all of Israel now.

why are people so sad when someone dies even though the soul and bones of that someone is experiencing pure bliss?

Please, no! You can't be Mormon!

more and to the point
the happier the dead the sadder the living
one of the other gods

You should be parking in your garage. That's what it was made for.

What do you think about all those retards killing themselves in your name?

no allah here

Is mass shootings really just mentally ill people or just you having to kick Natural selection up a couple notches?

How do magnets work?

Do you forgive satan?

there's two types of mentally ill people
aggressive and non-aggressive
aggressives make the most mistakes
non-aggressives are gods and angels sent to earth to help
in flying cars in the future

yes

I like you god

Hey god what is the full name of some one I go to school with

Checked.

What exactly happens in hell?

are you a jew?.

Why did you give me life, along with the constant feeling that I should kill myself?

Pedophiles of Sup Forums exist because of you.

fake god doesn't exist

What's my soul worth?

Satan is gonna trade me a big cock for it, but I'm not so sure I trust him.

It might just be something like a horse cock or a whale cock, he's a pretty tricky guy

So which God are you? Yahweh? Allah? Vishnu? Buddha? The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Or is this like the Many-Faced God in which all of the Gods are the same being?

Why?

Why is the average person so damn cunty?

Explain yourself, Youdammit. There's a lot of shit in the world, people hurting each other, warlords oppressing people, corruption throughout the world. And, yet, through it all, that fucking platypus thing. I understand everything else...but, what the fuck is up with that youdamned platypus. Were you high? Is it a metaphor? Explain.

Why is it in anime Satan always appears but You never do?

soul eating demons from the nightmare dimension engage you in lengthy conversation
they paint and juggle too
why do you ask?
life is eternal
get better sleep
less intrusive thoughts
pedophiles of the internet held back because of me
those who fell, fell.
per person
depends on how valuable you are
how often do you improve others life?
off the top of my head
the flying spaghetti monster
Buddha
Jesus
Vishnu
Socrates
Beethoven
Shakespeare
Albert Einstien
and millions more
the other 9 Gods are many gods too
rats are obedient
Because you prolly live in
Australia

why do i have to keep suffering?

Will i always be a kiss less virgin

I don't remember
but it sounds funny
no i'm there
e.g. I'm Toph from airbender

Will I pass my drivers test ? Will you take the wheel ?

So if your all the Gods, then does that mean your her too?

I'm a big fan of Randy Newman's Faust. In the last part of "Glory Train" The Devil is talking to God. The Devil sings this:

All of the faith and prayer in the world
All of Your dumb show and circuses
You know it's a lie
It'll always be a lie
The invention of an animal
Who knows he's going to die

Some fools in the desert
With nothing else to do
So scared of the dark
They didn't know if they were coming or going
So they invented me
And they invented You
And other fools will keep it all going
And growing

Everybody!
We're a figment of the imagination
A beautiful dream, it is true
A figment of their imagination
Me and You
And You know it
Me and You

How close was Randy Newman to the truth?

Jews are the master race and religion.
>So you must be a Jew.

>I don't remember

Does that mean you aren't omnipotent or all-knowing? Maybe quasipotent and mostly-knowing?

Why am I so alone

So...who would win?

What if they attack at night?

you have to get your life right
as your soul is immortal
you have to find your true love
and try to marry them for eternity
you also have to find your true friends
and chill out with them forever
you also have to get a good night's sleep/
I doubt that
women in general are whorish
the idea they're hard is something your own mind creates
The better the mind
The better the resistance
um yeah just let go at the second corner
I'm not all the gods
wrong
I started the universe with the spark of my soul
My father sent me here to rule
You all got kicked in for my amusement
but I'm kind and generous and use my powers to help better you all
There is no master race or religion
only master souls
I'm buddhist by choice
depends when you ask
because that's your life choice

idk that's a lot of lions

Hm. Classical buddhism?.

Why did you leave us all to die on this planet?

>I'm not all the gods

Fuck... I wanted to get some Macedonian pussy tonight...

What does "MEOW' mean?

God isn't a person. God is consciousness.

Was there ever life on Mars?

Since I'm Buddha I pray to myself and make up the rules as I go along
I follow most traditions
and the sayings of the dalai lama are pretty good
but I'm a thought miner at heart and I only trust what I can think of
This planet since I came here was the worst in the universe. It's now a holiday destination.
Macedonians are hot
umm usually it's like a sigh
interpretation is required
correct
But I'm it's greatest interpretor
and most people can't reach that high
it drives them crazy
they're just not built for it
so I make steps
I don't munt people
yes

Is it true that you watch us from the eyes of little birds?