What was the worst sex you've ever had?

what was the worst sex you've ever had?

I had a nose bleed with a girl underneath me once

First time me and one of my exes had sex, she started crying and screaming about how her ex and his family raped her or something. Shit Was awkward and ended up butt naked with my dick diamonds consulting this chick for an hour straight. Ended up still nutting inside though kek

It was with this half black girl. I’m good friends with her, but she just laid there. When I asked if she wanted to switch positions she said, “Nope I like it right here.” It was like fucking a dead log. She was hot as fuck tho

Tranquilized mattress?

When I was 17 I fucked my girlfriend on her period and she bled through the towel and stained my bed. Tough to explain to parents.

I'd just straight up lay there too until she did something, fuck that

I was with a girl who was really young (she said she was 18 and I believe her) and she wasn't a virgin but still not sure of herself. She only wanted to lay on her back and insisted on putting her legs on my shoulders to rest them. After a while she started crying. Asked her if she was okay (did I pull your hair on accident, etc) and she said she was upset because she couldn't cum. Big fucking baby. This was in a trailer in Alabama in 1982. Long time ago lads.

Got drunk ate gf out half way through I could taste Iron.
>I swallowed period blood and it still haunts me today 20yrs later

anything i was on alcohol for

best was on cannabis

I was visiting my 1st girlfriend's new house, and we were alone that night (no one had moved in yet.) She asked if I wanted to fuck, but I didn't have condoms so I told her I would grab some at the liquor store. There and back in 15 minutes. In that time, she had started sobbing and called her friend, accusing me of ditching her to laugh at her with my friends. I came back, we fuck. Midway, her friend that she called shows up at the house and pepper-sprays me thinking it's rape. We broke up three days later. (Worth noting that pepper-spraying chick and my best friend were recent exes.)

...

Same story, but sober and I stopped earlier because she had a tampon in and it starting tearing and I had paper in my mouth.

She didn't even tell me she was on her period.

I guess the normal boring sessions with long time gf. Anyway, better story from now single life:

Was eating a girl out, and before she came, she kept moving her pelvis up and down. She kept going faster, and eventually hit me with it so hard right into my nose, that I got a nosebleed.

Felt a little blood, and I thought I hit her pussy with my teeth and cut her. Didn't say shit, only noticed that it was from my nose after that

It was the first time in a while for me and I still didn’t bust my nut. That’s what sucks. Her boobs were soooooo nice tho.

>Drunk
>Puked on bed mid-hanky panky
>Which made her puke

The Japanese would have worshiped me as a God if they had a recording.

>21 college kid
>tinder date with an open bobs that goes to other college in my city
>sexiest Indian I've ever seen, big tits, nice ass, 5'4, long brown hair, Dominican sounding voice
>pick her up, drive her back to my place
>we smoke, talk, start to kiss and grind
"But I'm on my period"
>she still wants to sleep over
>eventually go to sleep with balls the size of balloons
FF to 5am
>both inexplicably half awake at the same time
*grind dick slightly into her ass* (you awake)
*she grinds her ass back against my dick* (yeah)
>we start grinding, kissing, feeling again
>reach a hand back and undo her bra
>perfect little quarter sized brown nipples on a set of beautiful perky tits
>slide her underwear off her skinny little hips
>reveal a perfectly smooth, hairless tight pussy
>kissing and nibbling her neck and caressing her firm perky tits as I hear the magic words
"Do you want to try anal?"
>she immediately turns around and gets on all fours, head down on the mattress, ass up in the air
>see a perfect little butthole dilating in and out with excitement as she prepares to take my dick
>I try to spit on it, but I still have cotton mouth
>the spit hangs off my lip and I swing it onto her butthole by leaning in and flicking my head forward a bit
"Thats not enough, we need more" she says as she feels an egregiously small drop of spit land on her butthole
>I lean in one more time and I'm trying to muster up as much fluid as my body has left
>just as I'm breathing in to land a spit wad on her asshole...
*pfrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*
>right up my nose with a curry stink bomb
>smelled awful, and I was at point blank range
>she pretends not to notice so we fuck anyways

I was drunk and high on xanax and my friends convinced he to have sex with this little black girl I think she was 13. But anyways I didn't even last like 5 minutes she blew me and I butted almost immediately after sticking it inside her. I feel very ashamed for it yet very lucky I didn't catch anything seeing how she was a promiscuous little nigger baby

>It was with this half black girl.

guarantee she was raped by one of her mom's MANY black boyfriends

Knocked my current fiancee and baby momma's tooth out with a head butt during one particularly exuberant session.

>Tough to explain to parents.

They knew. How do you think you came along? Ol' dad wouldn't pull out of mom whether she was on her period or the condom broke or the house on fire.

The 3rd time with my uncle

Fucking lol. Underrated post.

Not that bad imo

>she

Asking seems pretty submissive. That was your bad white boi

Kek

...

I ate out a landwhale

thats rough

Hooked up with a girl I knew in highschool. She was fairly attractive and ended up having a nice rack and super tight pussy.

We hook up and her skin felt rough like sandpaper. Then she got on top and just sat there. I ended up having to pump until I came. She sounded and appeared to be enjoying it.

Then she rolled off me and just layed there in the dark.

It was super awkward. So i dressed and left.

Then maybe a week later she text saying the sex was great and she wanted to do it again. Never ended up doing it. Her skin texture freaked me out and her reaction made me weary like she'd clai rape.

Surely your common sense and nose warned you of the dangers before you got too close?

So I ask you.

Why?

I was drunk, I didn't have common sense

>stick penis in ex girlfriend
>in and out a few times
>"stop it hurts"
>"wat"
>"it hurts"
>"how do you mean?"
>"it jsut hurts"
>takes same dick no problem loads of times before
>fucking wat

This girl who liked me surprised me with a threesome. I couldn’t get hard and my peeper curled up and hid. Hours later I woke up in jail. Fuck Xanax.

she probably wasn't wet enough.

Sometimes you have to lick it before you stick it men.

i guess, what pissed me off the most about her was her complete lack of ability to communicate so i guess well never know

She wasn't wet enough dumbass. You didn't turn her on enough and must suck at foreplay.

Goddamn you don't know shit about women.

wahhhhhhhhhhhh

Sorry you don't know how to fuck and she left your ass. Learn where a clitoris is retard.

Yeah that's why I put 0 effort into dating.
Personally I've been hit, punched had my car vandalized by ex's and that's just for not calling them for a day or two.
Really mental bitches.

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is why shower sex was invented.

kek

Shower sex doesn't work

Anybody whos actually gotten any would know this.

Then you are doing it wrong. Girls are horny as hell when they are on their period. At least mine was. however It was a total mess when fucking her on her period. So we decided to do it in the shower whenever it was her time of the month.

No mess. A nice change of scenery besides constantly on the bed. All the blood washing down the drain and you and your gf enjoy a good fucking. If it doesnt work for you then you are doing something wrong :O

>stick it in
>rotting fish carcass smell
>pukes internally
>bitch says I'm too big and it hurts
>pulled out
>pissed as fuck
>told bitch to walk 23 miles home
My first and last experience with sex right here.
I'm 36 now. Was 21 when this happened.

The blood acts as a natural lubricant. Anyone whos gotten any, and isn't afraid of the red sea would know this.

Sex with my first wife was purdy bad. She had this hip injury years earlier when she was in the military, so that complicated things. She only wanted to have sex in this one position. It was ridiculously awkward and uncomfortable for me. Basically, I had to sit on my feet with my legs folded in front of me. She would lay on her back with her butt resting on my legs and her legs folded. I would do all of the work with her full weight on my legs, and my dong would frequently pop out because her goalpost was just too damn far away. I like unusual positions and will try anything once --but a crappy position every time is frustrating enough that I honestly would rather have blueballs.

i once fucked my dead dog, shit was cash

was her mouth injured too?

>drank blood
>haunted 20 years later
Sounds kind of hot actually, Lestat.

>Sometimes you have to lick it before you stick it men.

I'm not licking my own dick

What do we not do when we see crazy? We don't put our dicks into it. That's what we don't do.

i fucked a dog

Good story. You win.

jair?

Good question, it might as well have been. She wouldn't take in more than the tip which to me is just foreplay. She also horny and really anxious to have kids and wanted her awkward-ass vaginal sex exclusively.

This is a thread about bad sex, anons.

I tried to have drunken sex with a cute guy only to find out that 1). hes a virgin 2). he has a micro penis

I've never felt such shame and disgust

Tried to have sex with an 8 while my dick only goes up for 9s and 10s so that was pretty awkward

>be really tired
>LDR gf comes to visit
>initiates sex even though neither of us are interested
>goes to the bathroom halfway to pee through (this totally ruins it and I hate every woman that does this)
>comes back and just limply lies flat on the bed and tells me to finish
>have a very mediocre orgasm and go to sleep
>lament dumping my ex because she actually enjoyed having sex with me

Her boyfriend walked in on us.

/thread

Reddit spacing
>no greentext
GTFO

This. water getting around it may as well be fucking fully dry at that point.

Fat ugly girl on the sofa at my friend's house when he was in the room. He went off to make a cup of tea, she started crying, I decided it wasn't worth it and asked her to leave.

Bath sex is much worse.

The guy couldn't get it up than he started to cry and say it was because he love me too much.

Had a freind from basic training went to go see him I ride with his sister to her house and he's supposed to meet us. We get there first she wants a massage and she busted out her tittys and oil knock on the door it's my friend can't get the door open bc my hands were covered in oil and she's running around trying to find her clothes fast forward to 3am woke up buttnaked in her bed needing to vomit didn't know where I was oh shit it's happening put hands over face and walk in circles pukeing puked on all her clean clothes and my phone broke my phone found a bathroom cleaned up go back to vomit filled bed she asks if I threw up nope. Pass out she was pissed when she had work in the morning she still trys to fuck tho

Crayon eater's language everyone.

no wonder you are on Sup Forums. that seems like worse than being an old virgin.

>Learn to greentext

I pulled out a tampon and went down on my FB
No fucks given

I got another one they had this 5/10 bitch I was getting to fuck my brother I told her like 10 times at the bar she was gunna fuck him and she agreed I should of seen what was coming next after she made out with me. We end up crashing at her place bc gd was I hammered my brother goes to her room she starts making out with me and I push her away and say go fuck my brother then she starts sucking my dick and I was like well now I gotta get a nut so we start fucking and she started biteing me and it got intense tore that bitches house apart flipped a couch and shit my bro comes walking out her room and she runs and jumps on him talk about an akward ass morning when he walks out and we both got the same bruses lol

thats a real man

D-daddy?

I've done that too, we still fucked.

Man he dodged some child support on you

Average American soldier, folks.

wahhhh wow, women have to pee so bad it ruins their sex? big bummer. Quit being such a whiner. My gf does this all the time, and while I'm waiting I just fantasize about fucking her so my dick stays hard. You need to work on your visualization skills, so you can stay hard. But it's understandable since you said you weren't interested. And if you do go limp then she can usually bring you back up if she actually trys. It's not hard to ask.

fucked a landwhale. never again

Was her asshole broken too?

Sorry I don't know how to greentext
21yo, exchange student in South Korea
Eat at my home with 33yo 6/10 english teacher
Drink a lot of beer
She's too drunk to go back with her car
Stays for the night, we both sleep in my 1 person bed
Both horny start foreplay, I go get a condom
She goes starfish.jpg doesn't move, barely make a sound
I was fucking disapointed and she still text me to meet again

that's what all korean girls are like. you have to teach them.

ThisMust of been some shitty fucking sex for her, and you knew it. "want to switch"? You noticed how fucking bored she was. You should have rolled over and put her on top beta cuck

Disagree, also met some pretty slutty girls

yeah, but you could have made her slutty

with my X, when I was fucking her and she was just looking at the wall emotionless

She got neurofermstitis
Its a skin Problem dumb fool

dated this chick a year ago. she kinda always had a smelly vag and she asked me why i never wanted to eat her out. ended up doing it and puking and she didn't want to really fuck me after that. we still did but it was pretty fucking dead fish at that point

I've had a woman's husband beat on the door while I was fucking his wife. I then proceeded to jump out the bedroom window (it was a bungalow) and run away with my pants round my ankles. Heard the next day he raped her. Still. Got to shoot my load and she was pretty hot. She went to jail for abusing animals after that. Silly slag. She owned a care home nearby where I live.

>couldn't cum
Did you show her how to orgasm old man? Eat that pussy out until her eyes rolled into the back of her head

It's too bad she wasn't on her period, since you could obviously use some.

Fucking run-on sentence mongoloid.

Can't be the worst, that's breddy good.

...

Tore my frenulum a couple times. First time was definitely the worst, was fucking an asian exchange student and almost passed out from blood loss.

Best part is she thought it was her because I nutted in her a few days earlier raw and she had to take the morning after pill which can fuck your cycle.