Storytime Sup Forumsros Had a job as a lifeguard last summer and have a few funny/interesting stories. Background info.
>be me, male, 19, somewhat overweight because forwarding American stereotype >get a job as lifetard >work place and bosses are chill >some guys are chads, but are nice >most grils are hot and none of them are stacies (or none of them were assholes to me) >one gril is fat, and as a result, is a feminist >new management took over pool because other management went bankrupt >first time as lifetard so had no idea this was the case >staff was a mixture of people who worked at the pool last year and newfags >apparently, not a single fuck was given about enforcing rules last year >I'm normally quiet but come from a loud family >I decide I had better do my job, so I enforce rules >I'm loud >but, I'm doing my job >make friends and become known as the strictest lifetard that works there because I do care about safety, but I also like yelling at asshole kids who think they can do whatever they want >become legend at place of work since I'm loud enough to yell at kids who are 500 feet away
more?
Jace Roberts
sure
Austin Martinez
bump
Blake Cooper
So how many guys did you suck off that summer?
Isaac Cook
second story >the fat gril, lets call her Lydia, was a whiny bitch that tried to get out of doing things like closing duties, as well as being a bitch just in general >she was the only person I had anything against >she made it clear that she didn't want to work there because she thinks everything should be handed to her and not have to work >one day her cat died >uses it as an excuse to try and get out of working that day >manager tells her that she has to come in anyway because we were short staffed and if she didn't come in, nobody would have any breaks >bitch decides not to come in anyway >manager gives her 10 penalty points (get 20 and you get fired from the company with no chance of a rehire) >nobody has a break for the entire day >was one of the hottest days of the summer >we all spam her snapchat (except me because I didn't have one until later in the summer because I have no friends) asking her how her cat was >doesn't respond and we assume she is crying >I give her shit for the rest of the summer about how she was late for all the shifts she missed every time she snapchatted herself being at the pool pic unrelated
Adrian Turner
not as many as you did
Henry Fisher
1) Once upon a time 2) DESU DESU DESU 3) Delicious Copy Pasta 4) PROFIT!
Jace Richardson
Tis not copy pasta mein friend, I'm typing it up right now.
Dylan Barnes
post more you faggot
Ian Hall
kk, give me a sec nigger
Owen Rogers
third story >very strict lifetard >I don't ever take any shit from kids >working water slide one shift >little fucker kids decide it would be fun to block the water jets on the slide >wouldn't care but I'm standing right there and its soaking me >tell kids numerous times to stop >did for a while (like 2 minutes) but would start up again >amazingly, I held my cool and didn't yell >one fucker decided to be an asshole >he starts blocking the water jets but like, picks up the water so there is a pool of water in his hand >tell him not to do that for reasons stated above >says sorry like he didn't care, throws the water in his hands on me and proceeds down the slide before I told him he could go >mfw he done fucked with the wrong lifetard >calmly say to him "guess what bro, you're banned from the pool" >didn't put up a fight because he knew he wasn't going to win >instead he goes tell his mother >she tells the manager >manager is dealing with a little girl who hit her head on the slide and since we don't take chances on head injuries, we called paramedics >mother has the fucking audacity to go up to the manager while dealing with a potential emergency and says that a lifeguard banned her kid from the pool >manager has none of this and says "ma'am, I'm sure that if that lifeguard gave your kid a ban, then he deserved it" >she tries to argue some more he gets mad and says that he is dealing with a situation and if she doesn't leave him, she would be escorted out of the facility >she leaves, pissed off >mfw my chad manager, stood up for me
Jayden Reed
continue
Brody Hill
workin on it
Eli Rodriguez
fatfag here, you can still be overweight and be a lifetard? Always had thoughts of it, just always thought you had to be a fucking twig to do it.
Jacob Kelly
I'd feel like king of the world after that
Nathaniel Sullivan
Lydia was fatter than holy hell, but she was still a lifeguard. I am not super fat, but I'm not skinny either.
Gavin James
It did feel great. Shit was epic according to my lifeguard friend who was on his stand 10 feet away.
Julian Sullivan
I am about 6 foot 4, 250ish pounds maybe less since i dont weigh myself. I am fat but i dont have the shape of a fucking bowling ball. Still doable?
Jordan Edwards
6 foot, 130 pounds when I started. My fat is like concentrated in my core. With a shirt on, I can hide it to a decent extent.
Joshua Wood
I guess i got what you call a beer belly. I can hide it under most shirts so i guess i'll be aight. I just dont think the fat life guard combo looks good. Especially the landwhale you were talking about. Bitch probably couldn't swim for shit.
Mason Rodriguez
...
Henry Turner
>Life Guard
You mean pool attendant. Life Guard is a serious job with years of training and nothing you do "for the summer", you show off faggot
Matthew Williams
She didn't attempt to even try to be a good lifetard. It was a fun job for me. Also almost done with the next story.
Landon Nguyen
>when you see a normie greentext video in the making
Owen Brooks
OMEGALUL
Christopher Hernandez
My job description was "Lifeguard" in my contract.
Chase Flores
This user is a faggot who insists on correcting everybody and everything. Nobody likes this faggot. Do not be this faggot
Luke Evans
To be fair you are technically a life guard, but not on the same level as the ones that work on the beaches. Yeah you do life guard shit, get certified etc etc, but as far as the experience they're totally different beasts.
Alexander Bell
Sry, just saw that it's called Life Guard in USA. I'm from Germany and here Life Guards are trained professionals, mostly firefighters or police officers.
Ryan Edwards
fourth story >see this gril who is at the pool with her bf >7/10 but I don't care cuz I have my anime waifu (and my social skills suck because I'm an autist) >not many people at the pool that day >gril and her bf start to get touchy >they are kissing and starting to feel each other up >not completely sure if they are allowed to be doing this, but I like what I am seeing, so I let them continue >I have sunglasses on despite the fact that it was cloudy that day so I could get away with watching them and not feel completely creepy even though watching people was my job >they continue to have an all-out make-out session >guys hand is touching her boob under her bikini >her hand is in his trunks >they are in the open, not hidden from anybody >other lifetards only see that they are kissing so they don't have problem with it >mfw I see the real picture >he pulls his trunks down and tries to fuck her >at this point I don't want to stop but I realize I can make this situation embarrassing for everybody >not supposed to cuss because of pool rules and I represent the company and shit >look around, see no kids at the pool >it was just those two lovebirds and the one guy who always sits in one chair every single day (dude is fucking awesome) >say in a loud voice so the other lifetards can hear me "sir, please do not fuck your girlfriend in the pool. we will have to put more chlorine in the pool to disinfect it of her vaginal fluids" >hear some lifetards laugh, the others around me had their jaws hit the floor >gril looks mad, but the dude was smiling >mfw everybody heard me in the area and was laughing their asses off >I'm a fucking jerk
James Torres
He just said don't be that faggot and there you go being that faggot.
Kayden Clark
I can agree with that.
Gabriel Kelly
No problem, mein friend
Owen Campbell
not being that faggot, just being honest lol.
Wyatt Garcia
how are your hours? i got a friend that does the summer gigs and he gets absolutely ass blasted with hours.
Jordan White
>Lydia Get the fuck out of the door Lydia, I need to complete this quest you faggot
Oliver Green
some hours were really random. I had to work from 6:00 am to 11:00 pm because I had to guard a swim meet practice and then normal hours and then a party afterwards.
Cooper Butler
I'm a lifeguard too. I love how easy it is. Where I work there are also plenty of cute nice girls. It's probably because they're younger than me
Brandon Gonzalez
I'm not OP, but I have a greentext.
>Be working the pool in a small aquatic center. Place also has spa, sauna, gym etc. >Lifeguard seat is this raised chair overlooking both pools. There's a deep lap swimming pool and a shallower pool where they do kids swimming lessons and shit. >Quiet during the weekday. Couple of old folks swimming laps in the pool. Three maybe 16 y/o girls fucking about in the shallow pool. Probably bludging off school, possibly don't go. I'm trying to ignore them, but they keep looking at me, whispering and giggling. Maybe 5/10. >One of them calls out. "user, Carla has stopped breathing. I think she needs mouth to mouth". Carla is lying at the side of the pool, trying not to laugh. I don't have time for this shit. >Grab first aid kit and climb down. Walk over to Carla and kneel down over her. "I think you're right," I say. I lean closer, inches away from her face. She's trying not to laugh. Her friends are trying not to laugh. >I lean back and hit the bitch in the chest with the portable defibrillator. She flaps around like a fish. Then she's screaming and crying. I explain to the girls "I'm pretty sure her heart stopped too, but I think she'll be okay now." >Got fired, but worth it.
Bentley Gonzalez
I probably would have said something like, "she's ugly, so if she is dead, it wasn't such a huge loss.
Hunter Gray
Bro that's fucked up.
Jose Morris
The fucked up thing is that I'll gladly bang a 5/10. The problem was that I was working, other people were around, so what did they think was going to happen?
Jaxon Thomas
Never said I wouldn't bang her. Ugly and bang are two different words.