/qa/ isn't answering me; what's a good cover story to tell people so that they'll think my eye injury is an accident?

/qa/ isn't answering me; what's a good cover story to tell people so that they'll think my eye injury is an accident?

you think we're fucking mind readers?

I don't see an injury

"My eye injury is an accident"

That's because I haven't done it yet. I'm going to blind my left eye and I don't want to go to the hospital, so I need a reasonable excuse for what happened.

The best I can come up with is, I slipped on the ice and landed on my face; my glasses shattered and I got broken glass in my eyeball. Is that good or can you guys think of something better?

>I'm going to blind my left eye
Why the fuck would you do this?

How about, "I'm a faggot who tried to blind myself, cause I'm a faggot."
I say tried cause you will fail at it.

"I'm retarded"

Why are you doing this?

Post a video of you fucking up your eye!

This is the only acceptable answer.

Cause I want to. Cutting isn't enough anymore, and this way I can have a cool eyepatch like a pirate :D

Ok, just give me something believable to tell my parents and doctors

I wanna see your face of total regret when you permanently fuck your eyesight and depth perception.

Then help me think of a fucking story about how I accidentally gouged my eyeball

why dont you just tape it shut for a while, or as needed and wear an eyepatch. shits gonna get all infected and rot your brain out and youll die a painful septic death

Because I want to cut it with a knife. I can't feel anything at all anymore, and I just want to feel SOMETHING even if it's physical pain. But just regular cutting doesn't do it for me anymore.

why dont you just take it out on your penis like everybody else? have you seen a psychiatrist?

You should get some help.

Don't hurt your eyes.

have you tried clothespins on your nipples? gets me through the day

If you're American, just tell them you were shot.

I do, I jerk off until my cum looks like dirty water. It's so hollow and meaningless by now.

Fucking pussy

Look, I want to do this, and I'm going to do this. I just don't want to spend a few months locked in a room with different pills that make me want to die forced down my throat as a result of doing this.

Sounds like some gay ass shit

pirates wear an eye patch so they can switch between the upper and lower decks of a ship with out their eyes needing to adjust to the lighting

Okay well be that as it may, that doesn't answer my question

You're like me eh? Crooked eyes. Can't take it anymore. Want one removed so you look more normal. I think about doing this all of the time.

find some nigger and make it punch you with your glasses on

What would you tell people if you did it? And you didn't want them to lock you up?

>cutting isn't enough anymore

this is how you can tell its bait. permanently removing a sensory organ is not the logical next step for this kind of shit.

no he is a cutter trying to go to the next level

say you fell down some stairs

you were “accidentally” born a “retard”

Anything really. I think the hardest part is actually doing it. Making up a story should be easy. Just search the internet and copy someone's real story. Which ever sounds best to you.

kek

>I'm going to blind my left eye
> I can have a cool eyepatch like a pirate
christ your retarded. wear a patch anyway.you don't need an excuse

Bet

oh god that face, now i gotta cut out MY eyes

AT last somebody smart enough for not taking the obvious bait.

You are a disapointment Sup Forums

Show proof of already existent cunts that you have /scars

what he said, faggot

Please don't. This won't make you more interesting as a person, or make people pay attention to you more. You're and idiot now, but you go through with this bullshit plan and you'll be a half-blind idiot.

Get some help, for fuck's sake.

>A kid with a weapon near his face
Gee willikers, I've never seen one of those!

Go to sleep Timmy, being retarded is not excuse for being this late in schoolnight.

...

I haven't done it yet because I want to get my story straight first. If I do it, and can't think of anything to tell people, and you retards can't help me, then I go back to the hospital. If you think I'm bullshitting, give me a cover story, and my next picture will be with my eye gouged out.

I really hope this is bait.

That isn't how it works, kid, if you really wanted to do this you'd do it and never mind the cover story, but since you are just asking strangers the most retarded question is obvious you are just an attention whore.

It is like making a post about killing yourself, but refusing to do it until Sup Forums tells you where to buy the razors.

You'll have a blinded left eye and think I was such a fucking retarded auteesmo faggot when I thought blinding my left eye was a good idea just wear an eyepatch

ur dumb as fuck
"i was walking with some scissors and tripped"
bam done

look at those soft hands, why don’t you try working for a day in your life