Confess, Sup Forums

Confess, Sup Forums

Stole a pencil from the teacher's cabinet in the 6th grade

donated faulty heaters recalled because they cause fires to the local homeless shelter

I put toothpaste on my head.

My grandma abused the shit out of her german shepherd when I was really young and I wish I could have done something to stop her. Sweetest dog you'd ever meet, too

i've been unemployed for 6 years now and just i'm just scavenging/stealing what i can.

my neighbors doesn't know.

laughed at a kid because he told me his dad is a registered sex offender

I'm seriously addicted to Bestiality porn. That shit gets me off real quick

well at least youre not homosex, right?

6 years ago I burn a worm alive

I discovered that I have god powers since I was a child but had kept myself from knowing that using time paradoxes for 19 years so I could tell what it was like to be human

I'm responsible for countless memes that are considered logically impossible and I have an arch-enemy that turns my life to shit every time I fall in love

the only thing that I can enjoy is pain and pranking people, and because I'm constantly reminded by the legions of religious followers that call me god that hurting people is wrong I have dedicated a woeful amount of time to making 1 specific timeline (string theory is correct, kiddos) feel as much pain as I possibly can before tipping over the point where I start hurting people

I've begun killing gangsters and satan worshippers that gain "magic" powers (which is just the manipulation of electro-magnetic fields in order to manipulate distorted particles) and I feel pretty fucking bad right about now

the only thing that makes me feel happy is talking to normie kids from other timelines, because all of the adults my age generally are going for a power-grab and see my willingness to be friends as an opportunity to fuck me over and get rich

I've murdered a lot of people with magic.

>also I'm crazy as shit and I'm not the only one who can do this
>watch a fucking vine or a YLYL compilation on youtube
>check some shit that literally can't happen
>mind control's a bitch kids
>you think this is a goat

True shit plus it's just the porn like I have zero desire to fuck an animal

It's my birthday today. Just turned 24

I fucked ur mom

I just got an apple invoice no. that ended in quads, and I said 'ayyy check em' out loud in the office

I think its time to become an hero

got dressed up and fucked by a guy I know yesterday while we were drunk af.. He wants me to be his bitch, I posted on here about it and still haven't made a decision.

bump

up and coming Dahmer over here

I saw that post. I'd say to try again NOT drunk af and see if you still want it

stole 25$ from my mom years ago
i spent it on fast food...

> be me, 17
> Left my gf for a girl i loved
> nearly fucked her, but she would because of self hating and shit.
> Start thinking about ex and how hot she was etc.
> Go to ex's house to give her hers things with the clear intention of fucking her, my balls were fucking full
> Fuck her
> told gf about it, she is unstabble tho so she swallow pills
> nearly died
> cry a bit,
> texting ex implly I would fuck her again ect
> gf leave my, tell people how i'm an asshole
> start fucking other girl
> finally return to ex just as she was moving on
> Now we're an happy couple in a great relationship
> Go to an other city for college
> think about fucking other girls

closet bi fag here, i really enjoy showering with other guys. luckily I get to pretty often

Christ

I tricked a guy into tributing my ass (I'm a guy btw)

Fags

who really gay tho

I'm the father of my cousins daughter and pretty sure the one that got her pregnant again.

6 years? Jesus you lazy fuck

...why? An animal dick in a woman? Do you know how many bacterial infections her pussy has after that?

Noice

You're already an hero in our hearts

Fuck

im the gf

>Be 14 yo me
>Always live with grandparents during the summer bcoz family is poor, and needs a break from paying for meals
>Dating hottest girl in school because my dad sells her dad weed
>She's my first gf
>She and I met since my dog had puppies and she wanted one
>We always hang out and everyone is jealous of it
>I'm totally oblivious to the fact that she's 1000x out of my league
>School ends and grandma picks me up
>Having too much fun over the summer to remember to call super gf
>Come back after summer and remember I have a gf
> Not realizing it's douchey to call her and ask how summer was
>she says she needs to talk
>It hits me
>I say I do too but she can go first
>she says she thinks we should break up
>I say that's why I called
>She asks why, and I explain that I can't imagine where we would go from there, because we never talk
>It was my fault we never talked because she didn't know my grandparents number
>Was lying
>I called to ask her to the beach
>Probably autistic self then asks another girl out on Myspace, and gets date
>New girl is suicidal but it lasts a year and a half
>New gf gained weight, so I dumped her
>Every relationship afterwards goes basically the same
>Still can't bring myself to legitimately love another person because I can't let go of how I fucked up when I was 14
>I'm now 23, can't make a proper post on 4 chan, and I'm losing my ability to get satisfaction from sexuality of any kind
>Not sure if this is a confession or depression post
>Would probably cry if I was capable of feeling that deeply about anything anymore
>Currently realizing I'm numb to everything
>I once fucked my close friend's crush and put him in a suicidal spiral, but feel no remorse because he's an asshole, and we've not talked in years
>Am currently venting on Sup Forums because I have nothing left in life that I love, except my second grade best friends and their family
>I hate 4 chan and my lack of happiness/sadness
>I feel like a numb void with zero emotions

I've had to make some adolescent boys strip naked and expose different body parts for inspection.

If it wasn't for legitimate medical reasons, kys

Not totally medical but still justified, and I tried to let them keep some modesty.

Loose lips sink ships.
Fall again.

not a bad idea

soft dicks, shit bricks

>wack off to beastiality and pokephilia all the time
>can't get off to anything else
>have pet dog, female, smoll
>not gonna ram a tiny dog so put peanut butter on my dick and get her to lick it
>doesn't even feel good, have to live with the knowledge that I made my dog lick my dick
>can't get off to beastiality or pokephilia anymore because I get so guilty my dick goes soft
>still can't get off to anything else
>involuntary nofap

You can't hold balance

I'm a pussy but I used fuck with killers
Pussy bitches

This is the most wonderful thing I've read in days.

Try shock therapy.
Get a rabbit wire
Set it to low
Test it, by touching it, to see where your threshold is
Wrap dick in rabbit wire
Fuck raw meat with electric dick

Guarantee your problems will be solved

Bonus points if you invite the neighbors over for roast after you blow your load and slow cook the sexmeat.

Happy birthday friend! *Hugs*

I killed a man on a vacation to Greece

why were you there? was he a random tourist? why did u kill him on his vacation, he was just trying to have a good time.

I did 9/11

to how many decimal places? .18? .1818181818181?

I can't beat my meat anymore bc of guilt and you're suggesting I electroshock my dick and feed my cum to my neighbors? What the fuck man

D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

Fuck you

bmp

I felt joy at the 9/11 memorial

Clearly you've never zapped your beans, faggot.