I will try and keep this as brief but informative as possible via greentext, but I'm looking for a solution...

I will try and keep this as brief but informative as possible via greentext, but I'm looking for a solution. I have none.

>Parents and I immigrate from Balkans to America in 96
>Everyone works hard, jobs school etc.
>Family manages to buy plot of land and decent house in medium sized city
>Spend 20 years turning it into a home worthy of envy and praise
>Now 25
>Father and mother are losing their shit, I have two teenage siblings as well
>Find out over the course of the last few months the reality of how insane my mother is (Always knew she was kind of crazy but she just doesn't get it in general)
>She's an honest woman, a saint really, works 2 jobs, as does father but for last 30 years of their marriage, unintentionally, but still due to her craziness she has made a mess of everything my father has worked for
>Financial/family/friends etc. She has always fucked things up
>She has managed to never save a fucking penny, and my father has managed to keep things together somehow
>Things have blown over, he said he can't do this anymore and wants to leave *But he still loves my mom and wants to make sure the family has the house for our own security)
>My parents as mentioned, never did anything nefarious, no cheating, no swindling, but my father kept a journal no one knew about, his way of expressing himself, my mother found it and has been reading
>Last 2 months have been a shitstorm of crazy at home over the journal, crazy accusations and stories my mother perceives to be true

Anyways, I'm at a point now where I should be out there on my own, but my father brought up a good point. If they split, get a divorce or whatever, my mother will lose everything and be out on the streets within a few months. The woman blows through money like she's the Queen of England. If they sell the house, she will lose the money and have nowhere to go or stay.
He said he will keep trying to make sure she's ok, but they are not elderly, and essentially this will be a long ways to go, and I also realize now, if this series of events happens, my life is basically over to. I won't abandon either of them, but especially my mother, who can't manage her own affairs.

I just want to leave. Doing so would mean 30 years of building a home will go down the shitter, and also that I probably will be stuck with my aging, psychotic mother.

Life shouldn't be like this. Idk ladies and gents. Idk what to do. Thanks for reading.

well, the balkans seem pretty peaceful these days

My father has honestly toyed with going back. He's the kind of guy who's been "on his own" since he was a teenager. Although I'm sad about him never realizing his dreams and potential, he knows how to survive. My mother doesn't. Out of love he has put up with her, but she's gone over the top. A few weeks in a drunken storm she woke up everyone in the house at 3 AM on a school/work night to tell us all in slurs that my father is an international drug smuggling pimp and he's fucking 10 women back in the Balkans (The man has not left our house for anything but work in 25 years). She's gone completely off the deep end.

have you read the journal, or talked about it with him? sounds like he wrote a super spy flick about himself and your mom thinks it's real.

send her to a foster home or give her no access to money that she herself didnt earn.

It's just a journal filled with fanciful writing. It's not like a story, but a lot of things about how he wishes life was. He's a stern quiet man, so I think he found writing to be his avenue out.

In one passage he writes about how life would have been if he married his neighbor who's a lawyer now. At the end he puts (remember he's writing it as if it happened" D is in, I is out". In reference to their names. My mother has not stopped repeating this line for the last 3 weeks. She comes home from her second job, shoots down 3 mugs of wine and starts running around the house looking for people just saying crazy shit. She said my father has been cheating on her with "D" whoever the fuck this woman back in the homeland is. She's taking everything as fact and reality, and it's opened my eyes to how insane she is. I realize it's not pleasant to read about yourself and she feels hurt and betrayed. But he never showed her. She found it and then stole a key to a lockbox he had where she found all his journals over the years. Some of them are just budget sheets with notes like "Why can't my wife stop wasting fucking money?!"

I'm from the Balkans, I love her, she's not bad, she is crazy though. She never spent other peoples cash but she never took into account the money my dad put into building our home. It's long and complicated, but for example he built a massive deck/patio that cost like 8,000 dollars. My mother never saw the actual 8k so in her mind it never existed. She's insane.

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from which country are your parents?

Albania. I was born in Greece when they first emigrated.
I wonder how much of my mothers upbringing effected who she is today. Her family were all nobles and prime ministers and shit like that. They were pretty much all massacred by the communists for supporting either the King or the Republic. But as a child they still had some of their land holdings and stuff, they were all gone by the time she was about 8-9. My father's family was from a small village. They moved to the capital when he was about 6-7. He's been working since he was 10.

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There is only one solution op: the Final Solution.

I actually happen to like Jews. Certainly more than Muslims at least.

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Thanks for bumping with fit chicks. I love them.

I must ask what does your mother do job wise. Women often times are literally, and no I'm not being sexist, literally bring a man's potential down especially when they have the mental to think someone will pick them up when they blow all their money and fall. Op. You and your dad should cage her up and piss on her.

Also a bit about myself. I finished school for Finance at a small state school. I did well and did extra curricular, but I learned the hard way that connections matter most. My highschool sweetheart who I was going to marry left me a couple years back. Dated a bit but decided I need to get my affairs in order. Tried going to the military got denied on medical grounds and now working low level insurance. It blows, but I have or had a plan for myself at least. Now that plan seems a million miles away because of what's happening at home. I imagine my goal by 30 will never happen now. And I imagine my life now turning into me taking care of an aging psycho who will unintentionally destroy everything. Makes me want to blow my brains out. Unfortunately I'm not suicidal.

It's simple guy. Kill her instead

Please don't talk about my mother like that. She never blew anyone elses money. Only her own. But she never really contributed to budgeting and this is a problem. She also never spent a penny on herself. It was always for me or my siblings. Good schools, good food, sports programs, music programs etc. It's not like she bought herself fancy dresses. She's in the medical field. nursing/Phlebotomy. She actually finished school back in the homeland to bee a midwife. But those credentials didn't matter here in the states when we came and they had to think about raising a family so she never went back to school for it. My father was going to be an architect. Now he's a carpenter/fix it guy.

Ah. Well you might as well all do heroin. How old are you to this day?

25.

I feel as if at this point in my life, have done everything the way you are supposed to to succeed to have this happen is just a slap in the face from the Gods, not even a test anymore. I'm no genius, but I worked harder than most of my peers growing up. I did better in school. etc. etc. And life keeps taking the proverbial crap on me everytime I start to take a step forward.

Sorry goy it'll get better

Thanks Juden. I really envy how you folks manage to keep it together. My homelands culture is similar in the family over everything mentality, but I think this nation destroyed that in our home. Somehow you guys still manage to keep it together even when your daughters go do porn or fail to shave their armpits. Or maybe you don't I don't know. I know a Jew who's daughter sucked 30 dicks on camera and he wanders around aimlessly all day near the park.

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OP, why do you think your mom will be unable to continue doing what she always has - i.e spending only her own money?

Because my father has propped up the home. If my mother earned a million dollars a year, she would spend 1 million and .01. She has used her money to make sure growing up my siblings and I were well fed, well educated, etc. etc. However I didn't know until not to long ago that she has not contributed all that much to the household finances like electricity, water. This was kind of an arrangement with my father she had like 20 years ago, it was how they were supposed to divy up the cost of things. She takes care of kids, he takes care of utilities. She would give him money for things like a new roof, but never the actual bills. I looked over the finances recently and asked her about giving half to pay for that stuff, and she didn't have the money for it. I know the simply solution is "Budget" but she actually doesn't understand the concept. She'll go to the dollar tree and buy like 300 items and go "LOOK THEY WERE ONLY A DOLLAR!". Now that my father wants out, he said he would still send money for the bills, but basically I'm being put in the position of handling the finances when all I wanted to do was leave.

Another important distinction is that this isnt just some house. Like I said earlier, we bought this property almost 20 years with an acre of land almost smack dam in the middle of the city, a growing city I might add which will hit 300k people within the next 20 years or so. When we bought it it was decrepit, the entire second floor was utterly useless. Over this time my father, myself, and even my mother on some occasions have turned it into something out of a classical romantic painting. I woke up this morning, took the dog out and had a coffee and just felt at peace with how beautiful the yard has become. But because my city is still growing and not at it's prime time the value of the property still isn't that high. To give it all up, after the thousands of hours of blood sweat and tears is a sin in my opinion.

well unless she mortgages the house it should be a problem, if she is clear from debt the maintaining and utilities bills (with the help from your father) won't be such a burden and you can take care of it, even if you move out. I'm sure she will continue to look after your siblings like she managed to look after you all these years.
Maybe the events unfolding currently have taken a toll on her and she feels lost and betrayed or something, Maybe after a divorce she will calm down. Either way it's your duty to look after the person who gave you life and took care of you all these years. I read that you are kind of in a tight spot too, looking for a meaning in life, striving for success. It's never easy, I'm almost 25 too, I'm in that place of thought right now too, I too have a plan that is constantly being pummeled hard by reality but it's important to never give up, keep a positive attitude and be grateful for what you have, be grateful to God, as the challenges and hardships He sends us are the key compotent of our future success.
Have faith, user.

from Bulgarian user

shouldn't *

Thanks Bulgarian user. I keep trying to stay positive. I keep thinking though about how people back in the homeland dreamed of this country so their kids wouldn't have to live like them etc. And here I am. IN the backyard planting seeds so we can save on vegetables over the summer like an old farmer. My mother will just go out and buy tomatos even if we have 10,000. If I could get a hold of her ability to spend money these problems will go away. I'm depressed by the fact that it doesn't click in her head. My father has sat down with her thousands of times to try and work it out and it's like talking to a brick wall. She thinks he's trying to control and manipulate her or something. It's like talking to a 55 year old teenager sometimes.

Here's some last minute titties for my friends. I have stuff to go do now. Thanks everyone.

Bye balkanian user, it's been nice reading your problems, it distracts me from my own