You're a good guy user, why don't you have a pretty girl?

You're a good guy user, why don't you have a pretty girl?

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youtube.com/watch?v=suvMZngYiXM
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I do. Been married for 15 years

clairo is my ideal gf, 19 but looks 12

Since when did good guys get girls?
I have 5 more years until Im lvl 30 grand wizard

Because I expect her to descend the heavens in a charriot and take me by the arm up into heaven to have some nice sex with her that will feel so great that I end up being in love with her for eternity. Just continue our ever existance growing into new things, but always merging with each other, like breathing in and out. Grow, merge, grow, merge. Untill we are huge tentacle void demon archon lords and we rub our moist lubricating tentacles all over the universe untill everything in existance is covered in jizz... And then I will ask her to marry me.

I have high hopes for this one.

i don't have a pretty girl because i started dating a monster and feel like i can't leave her now.

hey me too cheer up you're not alone

Oh how awfull. Who one earth would want to be a grand wizzard?! Explore all dimensions of the universe, multiple yourself to have sex with infinities upon infinities of whatever you wish at the same time!

comfy
I had a similar experience on LSD

Well, you have to do it step by step. First you have learn to lift one foot atleast. And how to move it in the direction opposite of the monster. But if you start running, the monster will grow. Just keep smiling and walking. If she fucks you in the ass, that is alright. No problem. Just dont make a sound. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of life. And off you go, little butterfly. Be free! Your life lasts one 1 day. Make the worst out of it, otherwise death will feel too bad.

Holy fuck thanks man, this song is my new jam

Cool, share.

so true

You must be a faggot because that song is complete shit. I bet if a fat whale sang it you would hate it too.

Broke uni student. Missed 4grand this year already and its only February. Pretty sad to cause its my last year of uni and I was set to get mass pussy with that money but now its going to take me like a year to smooth over the losses. My patrilineal line was a failure else it wouldn't matter. I'm the one that's got to turn it around, only for my own sake, for me.

no i think it's pretty good. i'm going to play it in the car next time i drive to work

Dude, lol.
I'd have to think about it some more.
I've been on lots of drugs and they all kinda meld together after a few years.
Basically:
>take a bunch of drugs while dating this one chick
>she's 'disabled' but her vagoo still worked and I didn't really care because she tried so hard to be cute (for the first two years)
>her place
>took LSD, maybe some MDMA; can't recall
>it's night time
>she was a stage performer so she had all these LED stage props like hula-hoops, staves, wands, whips, weird hand prop things, light up gloves, the usual yuppie druggie girl shit, etc.
>whole apartment had Christmas lights up (on the inside) because we were rainbow faggots who like shiny colors and happy drugs.
>do usual drug stuff
>trance music
>make out
>she starts playing with shiny things and puts on a show for me
>her cats are running around being cats
>drugs start to hit me harder and harder
>things start to go black minus the lights and the living things in the room
>cats become tiny balls of energy (looked like a collection of lights) running around
>can only focus on her hips; basically knees to abdomen
>realize baby making parts are the only reason to continue living
>ignore primal urges because I still have control at this point
>pretty much fall in love with her right there
>more music
>room getting darker
>hips are only thing I can focus on
>ask for sex
>she turns me down
>bitches
>whatever, I'm having fun
>world begins swirling around
>know that I want to spend eternity with her, right then and there
>God is two people, me and her, blue and pink; the cats are just there for funsies
>we are the only two in the universe and everything was made for us
>we will continue living forever and the goal is to find one another in the vastness of existence
>lose control
From here it's part recollection and part recitation after the fact.
I hit word limit
pic for reference

My penis isn't made out of money c:

>begin masturbating
>I pinned her down, at one point, using my forearm
>I have 70lbs on her and if I didn't have the attention span of a squirrel things could have gone poorly (more so than they already had)
>she puts me in her bed
>I think she hit me a few times
>I think I was fighting with her at some point (like physically)
>say crazy shit
>pee her bed
>yelling
>I think she hit me again
>I remember her saying "COME ON" "REALLY" and shit like that repetitively
>continue peeing bed and saying crazy shit
>finally start to come down from drugs
>mortified at what happened
>near total mental breakdown
>start crying
>tell her that I loved her more than anything else in the world and that my craziness only reinforced that notion
>she tells me "I don't know, after this."
>ouch
>tell her I'm sorry and shit
>help her clean up bed and apt
>she starts to tell me what I had done to make her so upset
>even more mortified
>don't even want to be near her because I'm a monster
>being a little bitch about how irrational I was toward her
>still love her more than my own life (a feeling that faded when after a few months)
>we stay together
>whatever I got a cool story out of it I can tell all the cool kids on Sup Forums
that's pretty much it
the only related part was right before I lost control in the last post where it seemed, to me, a lot like what you were describing, minus the tentacles and jizz
well, there might have been jizz
this should have been my last time doing LSD but I am a slow learner and I tried to walk into fire naked twice at a festival, grabbed some random girls titty (and maybe puss, can't recall), stripped naked, destroyed a tent, and all of her friends opinions of me. I was asked not to return to the festival. Good times. That wasn't even the last time. I took more drugs (mushrooms and some LSD) at the festival, too. I am not a clever man.

Nah, once I'm lvl 30 I'll buy an enchanted double-barrel staff and cast a spell on my cranium.
Gray-matterus leviosa

I got to lvl 31 - now I have sex all the time. stay in there!

#metoo

because im a depressed fuck and the girl i thought was my soul-mate broke my heart so now im terrified off getting attached to another person

>soul-mate
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
You can't have a soul-mate when you have no soul.

Because I don't meet girls. I'm not a wizard, I even had a gf at some point, but I've been working my ass off to get the professional position I wanted. Turned out to be utter shit. After a good ol' burn out, I'm at home, and I haven't slept with a woman for seven years (studies + job, where I could not meet new girls).

From time to time, I've got the opportunity to meet some girls, but in such conditions that I haven't the slightest clues on how to flirt with them anymore (parties, pretty much, and I don't like when it's too noisy or when the girl is drunk, feels wrong).

Oh and I'm addicted to porn, so there's that too.

Damn dude, I didn't even make it half as long as you

12.5?

I'd rape you then bite your face

youtube.com/watch?v=suvMZngYiXM

I forget how to talk to girls. Not even kidding.

I agree user, song is adorable and catchy

Kinda same situation here. I'm not a robot or anything, I have very good friends, a job (I hate), a good family, but for the love of God I don't know how to flirt with women anymore. Feels lonely.

I don't know, there has to be something about me. I'm a bit histrionic so maybe that's part of it.

Money is sexy.
Being good is not.

I discovered that by spending a dollar a night on a camgirl right before I pass out I can have erotic lucid dreams like being in a sex holodeck where I can do whatever I want.

>cool kids on Sup Forums

>I don't know how to flirt with women anymore
Yep

>why don't you have a pretty girl?
Implying we have unpretty grils

This song just popped up on my yt mixtape having never played it before. Then I come on Sup Forums and it's here. Shame it kinda sucks otherwise I'd be pretty weirded out

Oh so only guys can be ugly? Fuck you

Because I have a pretty boy instead

Because pretty girls always take my pretty things away from me and keep them for themselves.

lets face it you have to black to get a good white girl