Why do critics hate metal and prog?

Why do critics hate metal and prog?

Because it's boring wankery
>hurr look how fast I can play these scales

>critics
>posts kitschmonger

prog is beyond them & metal is made by the guys that beat up them

Critics are usually failed musicians, so they hate music with technicality. That's why they like really simplistic three chord punk rock because they think "Ha yeah, I could totally make that stuff, y'know, if I wanted to."

Metalheads in the 80s were dumb as rocks. Beavis & Butthead was not far from reality. Only since the 2000s did metal become a somewhat intellectual genre.

>Only since the 2000s did metal become a somewhat intellectual genre.

No sorry, Grimes is not intellectual music.

idk but i hate metal and prog

>screaming about Satan and Vikings over distorted E minor riffs
>intellectual

>metal
>non-commercially oriented music
>critics

Christgau's a faggot though

Most of that Satan stuff is just a metaphor for social commentary though.

Just popping in for a friendly reminder that Christgau sucks dick for bus tokens under NYC bridges

>screaming about cutting your wrists and your girlfriend killed herself and your parents suck and you wanna kill yourself over drop C riffs
>intellectual
The virgin 2000 metal artist vs the chad 80's shredder

Here's a first and hopefully the last (You) for this half-attempt at bait.

Christgau is one of the only critics who gets it. Music criticism is bullshit, so stop trying to be fair and objective and informed. Just have strong opinions, and state them in an interesting, engaging way. Keep them short, too. Your opinion isn't worth a 10-minute youtube video.

Christgau hates metal and prog because he likes it when smart, well-read college kids pretend to be boneheads. Metal and prog are kinda the opposite of that.

Personally, I love prog. I also like Christgau. If you think your favorite music critic should be one you agree with, then you misunderstand music criticism. It's not real; it's just fun.

>all metal is Motley Crue

ITT: numales

But they don't
Christgau is a pretentious prick, I have no idea how he ever earned any stature whatsoever

I love how he reviewed more hair metal bands than "real" metal. A couple of Whitesnake and Def Leppard reviews but he couldn't be bothered to review any Dio or Maiden albums.

Well, Motley Drue doesn't really pretend to be smart...

Christgau's ideal is a young guy who's so smart and well-read that he's ashamed of it and tries to fake the appearance of a simpleton. I think he's sees most prog and metal artists, on the other hand, as kind of allusion-heavy and in-love with the ideal of themselves as these cultured, capable craftsmen of lore and legend.

He fucking hates that. Reminds him of Spinal Tap. But that's beside the point; point is critics are always going to be wrong about everything. Read the one who's fun to read.

>Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables got a C minus
The point where you learned to stop taking this guy seriously.

Critics are usually soulless skin walkers and soy boys. Fantano is the one exception that comes to mind in regards to metal.

This is objectively correct though.

only scaruffi matters desu all other critics are lames

This. Dadthony is the only objective and unbiased music critic

nazi punks fuck off

>Christgau is a pretentious prick, I have no idea how he ever earned any stature whatsoever
Was in the right place at the right time.

I could see in that context why he wasn't a fan of Ozzy Osbourne. Nobody ever associated that guy with a high IQ.

>as if his precious punk rock is intellectually stimulating
>yell "Fuck my parents and fuck the government!" over basic three chord riffs for 90 seconds

actual critics don't dislike progressive rock

>Only since the 2000s did metal become a somewhat intellectual genre.
Imagine ever being this clueless about music

piero a caca

>You darn nazi punks get the heck off my lawn!!!

^This. Most normies have no clue what metal is about or trying to accomplish.

Dave could kick your shit in buddy

NAZI OUT!

Uh...he liked Motorhead and Lemmy was a really well-read guy.

Well, Christgau likes music that's funny and self-aware (like Motorhead). I don't think most metal has that quality.

Lemme give you an example. Try "For Whom The Bell Tolls". Christgau thinks this is just a bunch of dum-dums thinking they're smart by quoting Hemingway after skimming through his books briefly at the public library.

shit's cheesy as fuck

Man, I don't care if the artist has an IQ of 20 as long as the song is catchy and fun to listen to. Isn't that what really matters with music at the end of the day? Whether the song is catchy and fun or not?

Fair enough, but critics are dumb people who think music can change the world or something.

poptimists need to be gassed desu

Wasn't Christgau the faggot who thinks The Who sold out in the 70s by doing prog and they should have just kept making The Who Sell Out forever?

t. Anthony "nsdap influenced beats" Fashtano

Yeah, I'm sure the Backstreet Boys were the summit of intelligence and their debut album totes deserved that A he gave it.