(1/3) Finally doing it...

(1/3) Finally doing it, I'm cursed and I'm doomed to die soon anyways if I'm not gonna end up just being depressed until I croak.

As of 6 months ago, my life has completely gone to shit.

>best friend Brian, absolute genius and one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life
>hung out with this dude every day from the beginning of Junior year until now (senior year) and it's my first time really ever having a close friend
>both of us have a really dark sense of humor due to traumatic childhoods, he's popular and introduced me to a lot of new people but we're the only ones that really connect on the same level
>one day he's just gone
>died from heroin overdose, nobody even knew he was using drugs until he passed away, not even me
>I lost my only true friend in the world
>completely destroyed, but I keep my attendance/grades up and try to do my best in the memory of Brian even though I feel like fucking dying
>meet this girl, Megan, that lives down my street after he dies
>she's new to the block, shy and cute
>we start hanging out regularly, she helps me through a lot dealing with Brian's death
>we begin dating
>one night 3 weeks into our relationship, she texts me saying she's stolen her mom's gun and is about to blow her head off
>stay up all night delaying her until her mom wakes up and stops her
>checks her into mental hospital
>her mom explains to me that she's prone to psychotic fits and does insane things to hurt herself or others
>I don't like her anymore after this, I can't let myself get close and just lose someone again
>I'm too scared
>she texts me one night from the mental ward
>"do you love me? i love you."
>"okay"
>"say you love me."
>"I can't"
>"I love you, user."
>the next morning she's found dead on the fucking floor, she hung herself with her clothes
>this completely fucks me over
>attendance dies, grades go to shit, can't even get out of bed. 2 deaths within 2 months.
>I return to school after 2 weeks

(2/3)

>decide once I'm back to host a sleepover with some friends I met through Brian
>Matt, B, and Peter
>Peter has aspergers, but only lightly and tbh you wouldn't even be able to tell until he told you
>the sleepover is going well, I'm having fun forgetting all my shit and playing The Evil Within 2 with the guys
>Peter starts acting really weird, groaning out loud, gets on his chest on the floor and starts pelvic thrusting into the ground
>we're all really weirded out, but we try to let it pass figuring it's a part of his autism and let him do his thing
>like a completely different person, he gets up and blatantly gropes Matt
>rape victim as a kid, I'm completely frozen like a deer in headlights
>matt shoves him off, but Peter gets up and fakes a fall and grabs Matt's nutsack as he's going down
>"it was the only thing I had to grab"
>"did you just fucking grab his cock?" I yell
>he ignores me, walks to the window and convulses like he's going into rigor mortis
>turns around, whips his dick out, and starts masturbating while looking me in the eye
>cums all over the rug within 30 seconds, pulls up his pants, and starts acting like normal
>stunned silence from all of us
>"did you just jerk off in front of all of us?" Is all I can say
>this motherfucker
>"what? No! I was scratching an itch"
>keeps denying it until he's having a temper tantrum, chanting "it was an itch" over and over
>refused to leave, we literally had to drag him out of the house
>none of us that were there can even look each other in the eye anymore
>a few weeks later, I start having really intense pains in my stomach
>go to the doctor, find out I have this blood disease called Hemachromatosis that will kill me by 50 unless I get blood drawn once a week
>somehow my liver is so fucked up already that it's not likely I'm going to live past 40, even with blood getting drawn
>completely and utterly destroyed, all my plans for a long career go down the drain

(3/3)

>the one person that has listened to me through all of this has been my therapist
>sweet old lady, super kind hearted but she's been through some real shit and knows what she's talking about
>basically my inspiration, before I realized it'd be a huge fucking waste of 8 years of my short life to become a therapist I wanted to become one because of her
>Our family hasn't had the money to see her anymore for the last 2 months, but we keep up a texting correspondence every once in a while
>super depressed on Monday night
>"I'm not feeling well, can we talk for a bit?"
>no response, which is really odd
>none the next day either, so I just call her
>her husband picks up, he sounds like he just got punched in the stomach
>informs me that on Monday night, she had a stroke and died on her kitchen floor
>she's gone, making the third death in 6 months

I haven't been out of my bed all week. I'm scared of more of this happening to me. It seems like the horrible, traumatizing events never end. I can't sleep, eat, think, or even cry. It feels stupid to put all this shit into something as dumb as a greentext, but there it is. Goodbye.

Signed, JY

>signed JY

sweet dreams my JUNG YIGGER...

Sucks, man. Things could concievably improve, but they also might not. It sounds like you're having a pretty severe run of bad luck lately.

My advice, as an anxiety and depression sufferer with multiple autoimmune issues and chronic migraines, is to just chill. You might benefit from isolating yourself for a couple of weeks. Might benefit from seeking extra help. Perhaps through your school?

I should be dead now, but I'm scared to do it, or more what my life will be like if I fuck it up.

Been isolated for a good month now, I quit all afterschool activities and I don't talk to anyone anymore. Help through the school isn't an option, I got suspended for a week because I told Peter's girlfriend about the sleepover and they declared it bullying because he's autistic. The school staff really doesn't like me after that.

stream it

There is a god

I'm not sure what I can say to you that would help, but I want you to know I feel for you. My first instinct is to say this is bait, but if this is true, then I can't imagine what you're going through.
What I can say is, mate, things will get better. Adjust your plans for life. Make the most of every day. Consider getting a job for a couple years and saving as much as you can, then set off for the road. See what you wanna see and do what you wanna do, it's up to you man. I know the world seems like it's falling in on itself and all the shit you've gone through is suffocating, but raise your head out of the shit and realize that life ain't over yet. It ain't over til you're in the ground and there's no sense in getting there quicker than you have to.
Take a few days and recover, lick your wounds, but please get back out there and make the best of it. I'm rooting for ya homie

Im 29 ive had 2 gfs and about 6 GOOD CLOSE friends pass since hoghschool. Stop complaining. Its life. It makes you think, yes, but youre not cursed.

Go to www.poverty.com, everytime you fucking refresh this page, a person died from starvation.

3 deaths in six months in YOUR life and you think you're somewhat cursed ?

The thing is people are dying all the time and in the worst conditions on this planet but you don't know because you're a student in a rich country and you're not used to death.

So stop whining, get out of bed and make something of your life. Maybe you won't pass the 50s but you can still enjoy the years until then.

Many people like your friend Brian dies far earlier, in a sense you are luckier then these people.

Start taking drugs then.

I really felt like i was out of fucks to give not so long ago, things have improved though..

>Most of my buddies including me started the year with alcohol abuse
>issues.

>One killed himself. I straightened out for the most part, most
>everyone else got worse.

>Good friend and neighbor lives with his brother. We have been trying
>to help his brother who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
>and has abused alcohol the past 20 years of his life. Extremely
>violent, in and out of different rehabs/mental hospitals/prisons -
>nothing helps because he doesn't give a shit about anything.

>Grandpa died, suffered from effects of vascular dementia for the
>better part of the year before finally finally dying to what was
>basically septic shock from over medication.

>Girlfriend of about seven years decides its time to focus on herself and wants to break up, I say okay and she
>gets mad that I'm not having some kind of emotional response

Focus on what you need to feel independent, finding what you value in life will give life value
If you want to talk more about this let me know

Don't do it user, save it for another day.
Get a good sleep and make some breakfast tomorrow
Get some sunlight and walk with some trees

>>"do you love me? i love you."
>>"okay"
>>"say you love me."
>>"I can't"
>>"I love you, user."
>>the next morning she's found dead on the fucking floor, she hung herself with her clothes
Just, kys how could you say that to psycho cutie?
Stop fucking people's lifes over

If you want to talk more.. I just made this email.. [email protected]
I already watched one person die this week.. dont let the blood lust here get to you, there are always those willing to help if you are willing to help yourself

If you're still shooting shit kid, then at least have this.
Im in my early twenties. My father died suddenly and violently, leaving me to take care of my 10yro sister. My fiance left me after my dropping out of university and life in general from depression. and to top it off im an exclusive hebephile who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia a little more than 6mo ago.

We're all victims in life. Grow up, and find some meaning in your life to make it worthwhile

It's all part of God's plan, user. You're just one of the many strugglers in this world meant to persevere amidst insurmountable odds.

The only thing I can suggest doing is to go find something that's always interested you, then devote everything you have to it. I'd also get some sort of spiritually going. It helps a lot in figuring out what to do next.

almost dropped a tear man. i'd give you hella hugs if i was there.

But dont let this discourage you. Life is unfair, as to my life its pretty good but i know the rules. they dont stay like that forever, sooner or later i'm going to see all my parents/brothers leave without any goodbye.

You just keep trying to move on as much as it hurts bro, i wont forget your story any time soon. Keep ya chin up.

Pic related, me and the boys.

you are the line trough the dots. Death is going to follow you everywhere you go

the best thing is to end it all now OP, you can choose what ever way to kys. do something that will make the news

show your dick

It's their job. If they ignore you, write a letter, send it registred (idk the specific english term for that, the thing where they need to sign for reception, and if they refuse it, you have actual proof of them ignoring your plea for help) in which you expose that yes, you understand where they are coming from, but state that it was not gratuitous bullying, but more so stemming from your own psychological issues, on which you'd like counseling.

If they ignore, go higher up in the hierarchy/to some teacher who as an ounce of understanding until someone listens. If you don't know how to start explaining, copy-paste your greentext, it should be a good starting point.

There are many things in life over which you have 0 control, which you need to let go. However, you have all the control over how they affect you, and over all the actions you can take or not take in order to do these things justice in you eyes.

Also, go to the grans funeral, and thank her. Or whatever would be your way of getting closure, with the main focus of being glad she was part of your life. Yes her death is sad and ill timed. However, she has always been an important part of your life before that. So it's either her never existing, or her having been a person to rely on during the time she was alive. Ultimately, you have 100% control over how you want to take her death (similarily with all the others, but I think that one is symbolic, because it is literally the one where you can say with 100% certitude that you could not have done anything about it, so there is no risk for you to beat yourself up over it for "I could have done this differently and she wouldn't have to die, it's all my fault". Mourn her first, then go towards the others in a similar fashion.

I have felt like killing myself everyday for the past 3 years i understand how depression feels, i still want to kill myself but im trying to not give up. You should too OP we here understand you and are telling you it will get better soon just keep going I believe in u

Fucking take as much niggers with you as you can, at least don't be a pussy in your last moments of life! Go out as a hero!

Kill yourself with your fake shit.
You act like a dam woman