You know, he's actually pretty terrible at being a spy

You know, he's actually pretty terrible at being a spy.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=pXqpAIUZbZo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Doesn't matter

Had sex

Why would an international spy be famous anyway? That makes no sense

he's not a spy, he's a superspy

who needs actual subterfuge when you have S-class luck and charisma?

Shut up OP

00x agents are supposed to have a low survival rate. Every mission is a suicide mission, he's like a the guy you force to run through a minefield just to see if the area is clear, that's why he isn't that eager to act by the book.

Based Schean

>gets catched and only escapes through pure luck in every movie

yeah, we know

>Catched

He's a state-sanctioned killer, not a spy

that's one thing I love about Licence to Kill

Bond is fucking Machiavellian in that movie and there was very little luck involved

Yeah, he's more of an assassin. He does some recon stuff but it's mostly related to getting closer to the person he's trying to murder

He isn't really a spy.

A spy would gather intelligence to to inform the greater strategy and development of a long-term effort, maybe inform a specific tactical objective, like which ferry boat needs to be attacked in a subsequent op.

James Bond is just sort of unleashed from a den of alcohol and whores in GB, set upon an unsuspecting world to flip enough tables and punch enough jaws, males or female, to make otherwise sane men shit themselves and slip up. Often he precipitates the premature launching of their plan, but also manages to cripple the scheme before or as the military arrives, by himself.

A spy gathers intelligence for others. James Bond follows a trail of bodies, naked and dead, until he can personally quip the mastermind to death. Fucking legend. You know it's bad when Leiter, a fucking American cowboy, doesn't know how to respond.

he doesn't even give a shit though, he actually tells everyone who he is, and tries to make it as difficult as possible for himself.

Ish shomebody shlandering me online?

How dishrespectful.

*tips fedora*

I agree, some people in the movies refer to him as an assassin and I think that term's more accurate.

Well said, and you know even if he doesn't really show it, Felix must have a little resentment for James because when he's around he doesn't even get to shoot at any one. That must really boil his oats.

>red wine with fish

what would happen if someone gave him a stirred martini?

I know
He's more of a field agent.

Happened in You Only Live Twice, the guy who played Blofeld but wasn't Blofeld at the time was like 'Stirred, not shaken, that's right isn't it?' and Bond just went with it because the guy was cool.

He probably hated it though but was too British to say it.

>mfw the Hitman games and Le Carre novels are the truest, closest, most realistic stealth/spying fictions in any medium.

Archer satirizes the whole "why would a spy be famous?" thing pretty well.

>le realism is good meme
who cares

> ARCHER, YOU CAN'T RUN AROUND TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE A SPY!!
> Then why be one?

They flat out state that you need at least 2 assassinations under your belt to become a double 0

>Machiavellian

Don't use words if you don't know what they mean

Do they? Well, there you go.

But he was Machiavellian in it. That was the intention, as they primarily based it on Yojimbo.

literally never seen a bond movie

is there any reason to?

he would stir shit up

It might teach you how to be less of a nu-male faggot. Bond never went up to strangers and asked them what he should do next.

This

Being Machiavellian doesn't mean "ruthless" despite ruthlessness begin a quality of it. Machiavellianism is employed in improving ones own status through manipulation and ruthlessness and furthering an agenda that is beneficial to oneself. It's almost exclusively used when describing politics or the corporate world because that's the only world that it exists. You can't be Machiavellian when seeking revenge against a supervillain for feeding your friend to a shark. Bond's motives are personal causing his methods to be brutal but the goal is still selfless. Bond kills the supervillain and saves the world, he didn't replace the supervillain with himself through ruthless and skillful subterfuge so he could run the criminal empire.

Opening of Casino Royale is his first and second kill.

> Felix, say Hello to Ding.
> Ding, say goodbye to Felix, man talk.
*slaps her on the ass

Good times

Peter Sellers is one cold-hearted bastard

The goal isn't selfless, there's nothing selfless about revenge. He infiltrates his organization using guile and then destroys from the inside out by playing on Sanchez's paranoia. And in doing so he gets his job back, gets to fuck two 10/10 women and has a nice party at the end.

The definition of Machiavellianism is "the employment of cunning and duplicity in statecraft or in general conduct" which is exactly what Bond does you fucking mong

Literally nothing you said is Machiavellian.

There is a context to the definition. There's really no clearer way to tell someone that they don't know what a word means.

They're more male fantasy movies than spy movies.

doesnt really matter. the point of a martini shaken not stirred is that he is ordering a very weak, watered down drink so he doesn't get drunk while trying to do whatever the fuck it is he is doing but to still appear relaxed and having a good time along with everyone else as to not draw attention to himself.

Yeah that always got me
Pretty much every villain knows who he is, how can he possibly be effective in espionage?

That's not true at all, shaking a martini doesn't water it down and Bond wouldn't want his drink watered down. He drinks Vodka martinis, and you have to shake them so they cool throughout because they taste nasty warm.

his actions are the textbook definition of Machiavellian
>hurr durr muh context
fuck off

Why did people like you even feel the need to start a quibble about semantics? Literally who gives a shit

Just stop user. People pointing out that you're wrong is not quibbling about semantics. Digging your heels in and putting your fingers in your ears doesn't make your incorrect use of the word Machiavellian throughout this thread go away. There's nothing in the world that is gonna make you right so just stop posting.

dude you don't know what Machiavellian means, just get over it

you posted anonymously so it shouldn't be that hard to move on

>shaking alcohol burns off the alcohol
mm

You are correct.

You are not.

Technically it does. More ice melts when the drink is shaken, cooling the drink faster. If shaken, a martini will taste right immediately, while with a stirred martini (if it were insufficiently stirred) you woud have to wait for the ice to dilute the drink more before it will taste as intended

>You know, he's actually pretty terrible

Saved the world 26 times

>You know, he's actually pretty terrible

>real post
>on my Sup Forums
thanks though, this makes a lot more sense

He wasn't in the first few movies. Nobody knows who he was... he was unknown enough to use his real name in public without anyone being wise to who he was.

>implying james bond is his real name

Goldfinger and Skyfall are the two best Bond films. No contest.

Ian Fleming actually did say this.

James Bond isn't a spy. He's the man you send to kill a spy.

Something along those lines.

This.

Bond isn't a spy, he's chaos and murder personified and then weaponised by MI6. Whenever they think they have a problem and only have a few clues and nothing concrete they toss Bond in it's general direction and have him shake the tree so hard a supervillain falls out.

I love Bond films, and yes he has saved the world a fair few times* but you have to understand the man is a complete cunt.
That part of the reason of why he's so damn effective. This is a man who on most levels (the exact amount depends on which Bond) gives zero fucks.
He will murder, torture, get a bit rapey and then quip about it later to get to where he need to get to and he absolteuly will not give a damn.

*It's less than 26, not EVERY bond film involves a supervillain trying to hold the ENTIRE world for ransom.
Some of them just want to blow up Silicon Valley or gain a monopoly in Russian oil.

Dr. No and Diamonds are Forever are better than Skyfall.

Skyfall, while certainly top 5, is debatable at #2. FRWL, Casino Royale, and Dr. No are up there

I think every incarnation of Bond has at least 1 really good film to his name.

Sean - Goldfinger
Lazenby - OHMSS was his only one, but come on, that title theme is very very good.
Moore - The Spy who Loved Me is just quintessential Bond, the only Roger Moore film I actually like.
Dalton - Honestly I liked both, but License to Kill has to get the top slot.
Brosnan - GoldenEye
Craig - Skyfall would have been a great way to end his run and I think Spectre was a misstep. But ultimately Casino Royale for me.

Those are both my least favorite Connery Bonds. Not bad, but the rest were better.

Three actually, although Bond's third was also more or less his first assignment.

So what's a license to kill then? Before you're a 00 you can only kill pre-sanctioned targets or within the ROE, and with a license you basically make your own ROE and kill who you see fit?

Essentially. That's why him getting it revoked in LtK was supposed to be a big thing.
Although it never really felt like it at the time.

He seems more like a one-man hit squad than a spy. I don't watch a lot of his movies but I can't recall a moment where he covertly steals information from the enemy.

In the books it's only two. He kills a Japanese agent and a Norwegian Nazi double agent, both during WWII.

That's how I always saw him, a super solider in a tuxedo.

He's a fucking legend.

>Casino Royale over Skyfall

Fucking finally someone gets it

There are people who think otherwise? Not just Sup Forums contrarian shit?

Consider him as a semi-official hammer of the UK.

He shows up because the UK is about to fuck you up and this is your official notice.

kek

...

I'm okay with this.

Thanks for the lore. Is LtK worth watching? Over OHMSS? Both are memed a lot but I barely remember them. I haven't watched a lot of Bond since I was a kid but I used to love it, and when I was ten Moore was my favorite.

What is the essential pre-Bosnan bond, top 4?

He's not a spy. He's an assassin. That's what license to kill means.

>implying anyone thinks otherwise

when will Jame Bond movies go back to hairy middle aged men bitch slapping women until they agree to have sex?

Both of Daltons films are worth watching. In LtK they go off the formula somewhat which is what makes it stand out. It showed that after setting the formula that they would slavish adhere to for the next 20 years with Living Daylights they weren't afraid to tinker with it.

Something that the studio forget when they brought back Bond with Brosnan but didn't really change the formula from what it was that Dalton set, which whilst good at the time (and a blessed fucking relief from just how bad Roger Moore had gotten at the end) showed it's age decades later.

What do you know about being a spy!? HUH!?

Switch Dalton and Connery and you're okay. That said, Brosnan always came across as a Soap Opera actor to me.

>the Hitman games
>realisitc
???

>Best bonds

1.Connery
2.Dalton
3.Brosnan
4.Moore
5.Craig
6.Lazenby

>Best films

Thunderball
GoldenEye
The Living Daylights
OHMSS
Goldfinger

>Best themes

Nobody Does It Better
Live and Let die
Diamonds Are Forever
Thunderball
Tomorrow Never Dies

>be a stealth expert who capitalises on darkness
>has 3 giant green light bulbs on his head

Apparently this is getting a movie too.

>tfw no james bond to kill all the supervillains in real life

Your posting aside, LTK is a fucking brutal movie. I actually wince watching it. The only other kino that had that effect on my was Beowulf. The animated one. The Director's cut is brutal

This guy is right

These are wrong

This guy is wrong.

The three green lights can't be seen by a naked eye, because "fuck you that's why".
T. Ubisoft

melts the ice, so you get less alchohol each sip. The slower you drink alcohol, the slower it gets you drunk. That's why when you do 'shots' you slam them in order to achieve maximum shitfacidness.

No shit.
Fucks everything with a hole instead of getting the job done.
Leaves way too many bodies.

You literally don't know what that means.

This, key words are "politics or the corporate world". Machiavellian is about the agenda or pursuit of power like this guy says.

>in statecraft
>STATECRAFT

Bond is a pawn of statesman, he works for an intelligence agency which executes the grand strategy of a state. He is not operating in statecraft, he is not a statesman, a strategist... he is a operative lead by potentially Machiavellian individuals.

If Bond was a politician, or a corporate executive or doing some kind of climbing up the hierarchy, then yes he could be Machiavellian, but he's not: he's content in his position, and why the fuck wouldn't he be: licence to kill, fuck hot broads, all expenses paid.

He is not Machiavellian. He is in service of a agenda, not the principal actor or architect of one.

I watched Goldeneye for the first time recently and who the fuck thought that changing the theme like that was a good idea?

that's not the point.
he did what no one will do .

>from pure stealth to detective mode bullet time action movie

I think maybe Spyro is the only other series to derail so fucking hard.

>has 3 giant green light bulbs
It's been stated by game designers that the glowing night vision are a ~video game mechanic~ that helps the player when they hide Sam in the shadows to visualize his position better. You might as well complain about the third person camera being unrealistic. NVGs don't glow bright green IRL.

>Connery
>Acceptable
Who the fuck did this. Who. The FUCK.

>kill half the guards on base
>nobody wonders where they are

Nice "stealth video game mechanics" you got there.

Mainstream stealth games are dying because kiddies neat a constant stream of action and positive reinforcement.

True stealth games are too slow for that.

youtube.com/watch?v=pXqpAIUZbZo

The latest Splinter Cell is by far the best one made so far, you can turn off all UI elements, and you can complete the entire game without being seen.

Pretty much all stealth games have shit like this, there's no way around it.

At least they make you hide the bodies in darkness, it was kind of silly that you couldn't stuff them into lockers or dumpsters (at least in the first two games, haven't played any since).