Uhmm... was that supposed to be funny? I mean...

>Uhmm... was that supposed to be funny? I mean, yeah I guess you can get some laughs out of some morons in the audience by using this childish and frankly immature sense of humor but how can you sleep at night after you say something like that to me? I haven't doing anything wrong, I don't come here and insult you where it hurts because I respect you as a human being and as a woman, but I'm so upset right now I don't think I can continue the show. Are you happy? You really, really hurt me.

That's a kino comeback!

>what happens in the meadow as dusk?

>you are mean go away

>an americunt butthurt response

why are you americhubs so terrible at witty banter?

A LEAF

I thought Jonah was supposed to be a comedian., arent they supposed to blow away hecklers with hilarious putdowns?

Jonah's comeback was way better than any of the ones produced by this meme.

>She jokes about using Jonah to get with Brad and Leo
>he reminds her that she's just some dumb weather girl, basically a nobody that shouldn't even talk about getting with people that are so infinitely superior to her

I love these threads

>yeah well i fucked ur mom

>fuck you biatch, yeah fuck you you fuck. like whatever dude

>You think THAT is a good insult? I fuck 10/10's on a daily basis who make you look like the used cunt you are underneath that 100$ "high" fashion mock-up(you think I didn't notice?), and all without having to even maintain my looks because that's what it means to be successful and charismatic. I got to where I am through hard work and determination, and didn't have to suck even 1 cock to get to where I am compared to the dozens of wrinkled sausages you devour on a daily basis to keep your job, like some kind of dark ritualistic sacrifice. Just the other week I had dinner with Scarlett Johansson, and in the same week went to a party with the top 1% of the worlds wealthiest people. Oh, but congratulations on becoming, what, one of the top 50 most recognizable tv personalities in France, real big accomplishment, and I'm sure there aren't 100's of used whores just like you waiting for you to turn 30 and be transferred to interviewing school-teachers complaining about students throwing books at them for not wearing a hijab. Because, you see, I'm a one of a kind personality with millions in box office draw to any shit script I pick up, but you? You'll always be second rate, skimming the top of society while at the same time pretending to be a part of them. Congrats on your 30 seconds of fame, though, enjoy it before the rest of the world outside of France forgets who you are for the rest of eternity.

...woah...

>That's fresh, lady. But not Subway Fresh.

They were the best content in their heyday.

thats not funny though. thats a butthurt rant.

mayo is french for "fat fat fatty fatty fat fat"

>Oh, you're a prankster. A comedian. I get it. I get comedy. Well, "quid pro quo," as the saying goes, "this for that."

>You know why the French flag is red, white and blue? They ran out of white.

>No? Not feeling it? That's okay, I'll see if this one's better.

>How many French people does it take to screw in a light bulb? You won't find any; they're all running away from the Germans.

Nice, gotta shut her the fuck down.

...

>*unsheathes katana* *teleports behind her* *holds katana up to her neck*
>who's laughing now, BITCH

so the faggots in here with the angry responses are all fat fuckers like Jonah right?

>you're just a dumb weather girl

You have autism

>implying jews helped liberate France

You'll never know.

Ever.

I bet that really pains you, doesn't it? You seek validation of some sort, closure. You hope that there's one person, just one person, who'll post a picture of themselves to prove your theory right, to make things proper again with the world.

It's scary, isn't it? You'll go to bed some time late tonight, unable to get to sleep for hours, because there wasn't a single soul in the thread who would confirm or deny with photographic or video evidence what you've been posting day after day, month after month, year after year.

Oh, it must be terrible to be you. You yearn, physically *yearn* for that one anonymous poster to become not-so-anonymous just so you can get a healthy night's sleep and not cry like every single other night for the majority of your pathetic lifetime.

Well, guess what? Looks like you'll be huffing down those sleeping pills and anti-anxiety tablets once more. How long before they wreck your internal organs?

Now get the fuck out of my thread.

pulls out .45..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue ⏩⏩... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue ? You seemed so talkative before, what changed ? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised ⁉⁉ if it's the first real one1⃣1⃣ you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one1⃣1⃣ in control of your life ▶right▶ now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry , that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play▶ your cards right▶, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it . Go ahead. Yeah that's ▶right▶. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right▶ about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

*pulls out .45*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

Holy shit.

damn you fatties sure are butthurt.

imagine being Jonah in that scene and having to be all like "damn weatherlady, your jokes are fuckin' fine, all hilarious with their bait and switch. I would totally laugh at them, both my character and the real me" when all he wants to do is go eat another 12 inch in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Jonah and not only sit in that chair while she flaunts her disgusting jokes in front of you, the favourable audience barely concealing her entry level jokes and tired comedy, and just sit there take after take, hour after hour while she perfected that joke. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, FRENCH COMEDY SOUNDS LIKE *THAT*? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her hackish fucking jokes contorting into types of comedy you didn't even know existed before this day. You've been eating nothing but a healthy diet of subs and diet sodas and later alleged salads for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Los Angles. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "hilarious (for that is what she calls herself)" comedy, the comedy she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could eat every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Jonah. You're not going to lose your future Subway sponsorship over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

On behalf of the users in this thread, NEVER reply here ever again.

And yet, here we are, back at square one with no evidence. I'm sure you'll sleep okay this evening, just remember to breathe.

Breathe.

>My whole life I've spent feeling insecure about my looks, about my personality, after years of grueling work I finally get a few shots at making it and that somehow gives everyone free reign to shit on me? To call me fat? To call me a fat fucking retard? Because I play fat stupid people in movies? I try and I try to lose weight, and I do; but that's not good enough... "Oh, Jonah looks so weird skinny, Jonah will never get any roles now, Jonah's whole career is being fat." And so I put the weight back on, I put it on for my fans, for the people who hate me, for my bosses, but not for myself. All so I can get some roles in shitty comedies alongside this failed egotist Miles Teller, and I soldier on and try to look on the happy side of things. Eventually I wind up here, on your talk show, and the first thing you do is say I'm not good enough for you? That you'd rather have sex with people that make me feel like an insect? Well I'm sorry but I don't think that's okay, I don't think anyone should be treated like this,

See, now this is a good comeback. Concise and subtle.

>Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga

>Zisa Domnului catre ucenicii sai...Porunca noua dau voua...Domnului sa ne rugam pentru mila, viata, pacea, sanatatea, mantuirea, cercetarea, lasarea si iertarea pacatelor robilor lui Dumnezeu. Inchinatori, miluitori si binefacatori ai sfantului lacasului acestuia.

Anyone have a link to the whole fucking interview? All I've ever found were shitty videos made by losers narrating what happened as if anyone of value cares about their shitty opinions. All other videos always cut the moment Jonah actually responds.

That's the best one I've read so far.

to
#rekt

Please post the original video, it's been so long...

>I don't know which fat guy knocked you up and made you go to the clinic alone, but ease up, bitch

>tfw after all this time none of you shut-in neckbeards have come up with a good comeback

>of course I left. I have standards

what did i miss?

i don't frequent /celeb/

Jonah Hill is actually a good actor and put this dumb whore in her place. He's more openly emotional than most, but nothing he said was wrong.

You don't go to an interview or discussion expecting to immediately be insulted continuously.

That's the joke

Why are peasants like you so fucking new?

Nothing

>haha good one
>you know I had a dream about you too
>you're in my basement chained up, cut, bruised and covered in dried blood
>dry tears running down from your makeup
>I go down there to check up on you...
>while I'm completely naked and erect
>I swing my massive erection around your face and you cry and ask for forgiveness for what you said
>I ask you, "Isn't this what you wanted?"
>I whistle towards upstairs and my buds Brad and Leo come down
>both armed with baseball bats, chains, knives... You know, all that kinky shit you're into
>I grab you be the jaw and force you to look into my eyes
>I smile at you...
>and then I leave

Someone go ahead and throw another hand with a sub on that, please

>thank you for that insight, your criticism is noted and ill try to be better looking in the future.

>sigh..
>well, at least i made you laugh alot.
>at least im funny
>im funny
>im...

>Well, then it's good I ravaged your anus last night, eh?

Damn Jonah. I hope that's an old picture. You gon get diabeetus.

>Yes, yes.. very drole indeed, my dear. You make fun of the way I look, because that's all you have. I have built my career through hard work and dedication, and am now a household name in Hollywood - one of the rare actors to balance impeccably upon the cord between comedy and drama. It is interesting to see where we will both find ourselves within ten years, will you still have a media role, or will your looks have deteriorated, your career declined to a minor role behind the scenes as my upward trajectory lifts me in new roles for ambitious projects and further cement my legacy, your entire career will be reduced to a minor footnote on my expansive wikipedia page

>Think you're pretty smart, huh? Think you can outsmart a bullet?

...

Now I know each word represents a pound of you

>jonah hill complaining about childish and immature humor

get real op, thats like his whole career

>Wow, really? I'm touched. I'll have to remember that when I'm kicking your butt.

The great thing about these threads is that at least half the participants don't get the joke.

poor guy was probably bullied his whole life and now that hes thinks hes made it a pretty woman tells him he is unfuckable in front of millions of surrender monkeys

I don't get this meme. Did he get BTFO by that French lady, have some shitty non retort, then go on twitter or something a few days later to post something?

Lose weight johan you gross landwhale

No. I think it is just a lot of us see ourselves in jonah, and we've all been in situation where we make a fool of ourselves then think of the perfect thing to say hours later.

...

Oh...

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I eat too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My fans likes me. Subway like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

>Ere, you, ain't you sucking the cock of an Arab Muzrat? *stands up* I'm surprised you have his permission to speak. *spits on whore's face* Aideu, French whore. *flies back to the Trump Imperium of America*

*opens mouth and holds up finger as if to retort*
*brief pause*
*close mouth, shrug, give a wry smile as if to say "ya got me kid"*
Touche

France loves it, jonah shows his natural grace and we continue with the interview.

I just saw War Dogs. So much unnecessary narration. I get they need to explain to normies but every 5 minutes? Like when they find the bullets in the warehouse. they see the containers, the characters acknowledge it "wow we got all 100 million bullets, we did it!" then Miles Teller's voiceover repeats the same thing. wtf

>haha yeah but theyre pretty busy fuckin your mum

why hasn't Sup Forums come up with a single good comeback? will this be the final meme to end all memes?

...

>all he wants to do is go eat another 12 inch in his dressing room
>you could eat every single person in this room
>You're not going to lose your future Subway sponsorship over this

:^)

>why hasn't Sup Forums come up with a single good comeback?

It's impossible to win. It's checkmate. We have to admit it.

>How dare you speak to me in such tone. You seem to have forgotten your place, woman! Did not Muhammad, peace be upon him, order you to stay silent in the presence of a man? The nation of France will succumb to Islam soon enough. And I, Yunus Al-Subwahy, will be the first one to rape the smile off your whore face, inshallah.

>Subway

I FUCKING DON'T BLOODY THINK BLOODY HOT CURRY SHARIA ALLOWS IT!

Why are you attacking all the french? What they did to you?

As someone who has recently been to Subway, with the person in front of me in the queue apparently being a muh hamed, I can confirm that their meat is not Halal.
This apostasy will not go unnoticed.

>pulls out Desert Eagle*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. What's wrong, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be su.. [accidentally pulls the Trigger]....... oh...... oh shit! oh shit! oh shit i'm so sorry! oh my god!.... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, nonono stop bleeding please i was just joking i swear c'mon...... HELP ME MILES FOR FUCK SAKE! DO SOMETHING!... oh no...[starts crying]...oh my god p-please noooo! I-i didn't meant to shoot i swear to fucking god... no, no, no, no.... oh my god i'm so stupid... i'm so fucking stupid....

>a QT French reporter will never immaculate you on national television
JDIMSA

he got butthurt by the french lady and cancelled all of his interviews in france

he didn't really go on a twitter rampage but he retweeted someone asking why Jonah Hill isn't considered a serious actor or something

jonah hill is supposed to be one of those cool funny fat guys but he just comes off as unpleasant

...

>Hey, lady
>Wanna see a magic trick?

Wow, pretty good to be able to hold that pencil on the outside of his grip defying the laws of physics.

gravity

That's right. He should've been completely honest with that whore.

>i have a fantasy about you except i don't have a fantasy about you

Oh right he's a hamplanet after all.

>I don't have to take this. Not on national television. Do you know how many dic- I mean Subways I suc- I mean ate to get here? You don't know the meaning of hard work, lady.

Is he really a comedian? I mean, one can be a comedic actor but not necessarily a comedian.

Based French lady puts fatties in their place

I guess frenchies haven't submited to PC completely

>of course I left. I have standards

This one is the best i've ever seen

>baka it's not like I wanted to stay!

All he had to say...

Too mean spirited, maybe...

>Of course I left. I wouldn't want to stay with someone as rude as you you fucking frog French fuck.

What's this all about lads, I missed last memes for the elections