What is the quickest safe way to lose weight? Bonus if legal

What is the quickest safe way to lose weight? Bonus if legal

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shagging

cut legs off

Best position? Gfs coming over tomorrow

Eat less and eat quality healthy foods, consistent exercise, and stimulants. You can't pick one, you have to do them all.

Excercise and a healthy diet. Good luck user

Stop snacking between meals and remove sugar. No excercise involved it will melt off you.

I have a fucked knee. Best cardio that doesn't need my right leg too much? I can walk fine but jogging or anything more hurts

Move to the moon

Check'd

Eat no carbs or sugar, natural fat such as butter or animal fat is fine. Get your body into Ketosis, Google it and stick to it.

Being poor. Trust me. I eat once a day if I'm lucky. And by eating I mean an ancient bag of ramen or instant grits with water. On days I don't get to eat, it's only water. And man when you're hungry, you chug that shit. In a couple months I went from 180 to 135

Don't eat anything that contains:
-Sugar
-Oil
-Flour
Also learn how to count calories.

I guess it depends on how bad it is. Cycle, rowing, elliptical are some of the things I like to do. There is a machine at my gym for climbing that is a pretty sick workout. Maybe you could look into boxing or something?

I'm not super obese or anything it's just i wanna be comfortable with my body again

Thank you Anons

Stop being lazy and making excuses

I broke my knee a few years back slipping at Disney world... Mate trust me I'd love if it was just an excuse

Take about 3-5g of GABA per day.
It stimulates release ofe human growth hormone.
Bodybuilders use it to lose fat and build muscle

He's right you just tell that X-ray "No thank you, sir" and push through the pain. If you hear crunching or your leg collapses under you, that just means it's working.

but i need to lose weight first

cut off your belly

I'm really sorry to hear that. Hope you'll get better soon man. Wish you luck.

Play video games and forget to eat.

One school of thought that worked for me was eating 5+ small meals a day. It's not very satisfying, but unless they are pretty unhealthy it's hard to eat more calories than you are burning. Supposedly (who knows whats true these days) every time you eat, your body has to go through a process of creating saliva, acid, muscle movements, etc. that allows your food to be digested right away. This takes ~300 calories each time so by eating smaller meals spread out, you kind of trick the system. Plus eating so many meals makes it harder to eat very much at one time so it tends to keep your calorie count down a bit too. Green tea supposedly tricks your body into the same process of starting digestion but I have seen evidence for and against this. At least green tea is pretty much calorie free and the caffeine boost keeps you moving so I'm sure it helps some anyways.

On top of this buy a cheap yoga mat and start doing a few sit ups. leg lifts, and push-ups a day. You're more likely to stick to that than driving to a gym (especially if you are embarrassed of your appearance) and once you get some of that basic muscle built back up then you can make the decision if other more specific exercises/gym time is right for you

The green tea thing seems to work. Have had people swear by this

Proven method, but you have to be patient in the beginning and ease yourself into it. I'm going to assume a worst-case starting point where you have a terrible, terrible diet. This plan starts out as keto, then you smooth your way into multiple water-fasting cycles.

>stage 1: drink only water, 3 litres /day
>stage 2, after 1 week: cut all sugars from diet
>stage 3, after 1 week: reduce carbohydrate intake to whole-grain alternatives
>stage 4, after 1 week: go full keto; reduce your carbohydrate intake to less than 50g/day, preferably much lower than that. Research keto, if you're unfamiliar
>stage 5, after 1 week: start intermittent fasting, calorie intake only from 12 noon to 8pm
>stage 6, after 1 week: reduce your daily calories by 200 Cals/day, work your way down to 1000Cals/day, comprised of 70%fat 30%protein. Make sure to eat enough veggies, sparingly supplement with multivitamins if you must(no need)
>stage 7, once you've reached 1000 Cals/day: fast for one day: no calorie intake at all, drink 4 litres of water. On the next day have a pure protein meal, but less than 30-60g of protein(the body will break down protein into glucose, if you eat too much of it in this condition).
>stage 8, after following the previous cycle of one-day-fasts for 2 weeks: Same as stage 7, but now you fast for 3 days and replenish one day.
>stage 9, after following that cycle for 2 weeks: prolonged fast, you don't eat anything for as long as you see fit. After 3-4 days any feeling of hunger will subside, if your preperation hadn't eliminated that feeling in the first place. You continue until you sense hunger again. Depending on your body fat, this may take anywhere from weeks to months. Drink at least 3-4 litres of water everyday
>stage 10, once you feel hunger: you keep going until the end of the current day, on the next day you START BREAKING YOUR FAST. You eat very lightly and gradually increase your intake over a two week period. You can google good methods.

Im going to try this
if I transfer my funds into my savings or just leave my debit and credit cards at home i will have no choice while at work or out somewhere

It worked good for me, and it should go without saying, but it needs to be hot or cold brewed green tea and water. I told my dad drinking green tea was healthy for him to cut his sugar intake and found out 6 months later he was drinking the bottled lipton and arizona green teas with more sugar than a coke. Didn't realize I had to spell that out

sorry, are you suggesting that somebody with a terrible terrible diet stops eating for stage 1, which is a week, and subsists on only water?

or is stage 1 eat as usual, but drink only water.
then stage 2 eat as usual, drink only water and eat as usual sans sugar

etc?

Wrong concept. Too much produced inssulin. It will make it harder to lose weight cause insulin as a hormon safes fat and produces more fat. Less meals or longer pauses in between is the new scientific method. For me i say 3 days hardcore vegies only plus water, 1 cheatday and so on. Your body won't safe his bodyfat cause of the cheatday. Lost 35 kilo through this plus 5 times a weak sport. If you ask me, take a long and balanced diet and implement it in your lifestyle. Never change that. Your goals will be achived and there is no jojo effect, loose skin or fucked up calorie intake on a longterm. Take your time and stay healthy. It's not voodoo, OP

Swimming, find a local aquatics center, get membership, swim a couple hours a day. Youre gonna be tired, but without gravity all that pain from knee wont be there.

Start out a mile a day. If its a 25 yrd pool then thats 35 laps which is from one end to the other. Start there slowly, build speed and endurance, and the lbs will probably melt off. However no weight loss is fast unless its bad for you. Eat better, take the lbs off slowly, you wont havr loose gross skin and youll finally lose your virginity.

water fasting

cut calories and exercise.

trips of truth

>kys
>body loses weight
>???
>profit

Any one of these lifehacks will work.

this is bad advice, sorry user

Depending on your starting health and fat % this could kill you. The point of the keto diet is to eat MORE calories from fat and protein because they are broken down at a higher calorie cost than carbs and sugar. Limiting your calories severely while asking your body to create the sugars it needs at a greater cost while pounding water and not watching your electrolyte levels is stupid. Do a real keto if you really want to but don't listen to this idiot.

>besides, if you don't suffer any permanent negative health effects from trying this you WILL lose weight in unhealthy amounts but your skin won't keep up. You'll still get some sag if you were really heavy but losing weight too quick leads to the disgusting excessive skin problem

False. Not only is your grammar and spelling terrible, but only eating vegetables (which "hardcore" ones tend to be close to cal-neutral) leads your body to think that you may be prone to future caloric intake reduction. Then when you go on cheat day and go hog wild, your body stores most of the sugar/carbs as fat to protect itself from starvation in case of future famine.

Just eat as healthy as you can stomach and watch your calories, esp. those that come from fat, sugar and carbs. If your diet is reasonably balanced and you aren't grotesquely obese your insulin levels shouldn't be a big issue.

i don't understand

is it really safe to go months without eating, ive heard you can only survive over like 8 or 9 days without food
>how long have you gone without it as well

Ok that made me laugh.

Ketogenic diet, intermittent fasting, Prolonged fasting is the fastest, no pun intended.

youtu.be/APZCfmgzoS0

youtu.be/Dan8qtgQRi8

And don't fucking count Calories. Forget about that. Everyday people grow more obese because the advice we've gotten doesn't work. Atkins works, keto works, and Paleo works.

Glad I could give you a chuckle. This is the same guy who insists that pizza is healthy for him because "all it is is meat, and veggies, and bread and protein". Love the poor man but he drives me crazy

The only unhealthy thing from pizza is the dough. Apart from that the processing of the meats but not the meat itself a

eat less and move goddamnit. you don't need some fucking gimmick diet bullshit to lose weight, just stop eating so goddamn much and change what you eat.

the former, you keep going as usual but stop drinking soda and drink water instead

I was worrying that was worded poorly, my bad

It depends on how fat you are. There are supposedly true stories of a man in the mid-late 1800's that was in the neighborhood of 5-600 lbs or more. He quit eating solid foods completely and lived on water and vitamins. He lived for something crazy like a full year just off of his fat. He got all fucked up at the end because he had gone so long without food that he didn't like eating it anymore.

It also depends on how active you are. If you are the fat 1800's man sitting in a warm house all day you can make it a long time. Survival situations tend to be labor heavy and in less-than-ideal temperatures. That taxes your body exponentially harder, so a relatively thin person may only be able to keep their strength for a couple of weeks

you can def. make healthy pizza at home, but he likes Little Ceaser's deep dish. Those bad boys take like 2 cups of oil to make

the point of my implementation of keto in this case is to get the body to rely on fat, thus faciliating an easier entry to water fasting.

If OP is severely overweight, then fasting(with due preperation, as suggested) will not put them in serious risk

I've gone way longer than 8-9 days, my max was 3 weeks and I only stopped because I was going to attend a wedding a week after that. I had planned to do 1 week, but after the fourth day it was so easy, I just kept going

eat about 200 calories a day, drink a fuck load of water a day.

im a fag cardio bunny and always do it.

talking of worded badly

>you mean "the latter"

also not necessary to call me an idiot, I suggested close to 2 months of preperation before doing even the first 1-day fast. If OP follows my suggestions, they'll have more than enough time to see if they'd like to keep going with their fast or not.

Don't talk if you're clueless. OP asked for a way to lose weight FAST, the fastest way that is still somewhat safe is this one.

You're right about saggy skin, but that's what you get with any FAST diet plan. You simply failed to address OP's initial question.

you're right again, lol

sorry, I didn't read the second part, I assumed you were saying "just drink water, don't eat".

Keto is fine, doing things like long fasts are really hard on the systems of people who haven't missed a meal in years. When you get obese, all of the extra 'meat' on you creates a strain on your heart, kidneys, liver, pancreas, etc. This paired with the likely lack of exercise/general fitness can really fuck up fat people. Everything you do to get your fat (relatively) delicate body back into shape should be done incrementally and responsibly and backed off if it becomes too aggressive

>200 calories
You mean 1200, I'm sure

What's a guaranteed way to get a prescription as an adult?

well, I did suggest 2 weeks of 1-day fasts and then 2 weeks of 3-day fasts. That's in part to allow OP to prepare his body, but also as a way to see how they're faring without food, both physically and mentally

Personally I wouldn't do this, precisely due to saggy skin. I'd just stick to keto and try to lose weight over a longer period of time

hey op, I've been eating around 1400-2000 calories a day and have lost around 25 pounds so far. pretty much zero increase in physical activity. I came to a realization that I was just eating way too much (probably close to 3500-4000 every day) and that if i would only eat like a thin person, I could become one.

Hey Op, wanna lose 8lbs of ugly fat?

Cut off your head!

>my grandpa used to tell that joke. kinda seems fucked up now

Just read a chapter on nutrition in a fucking biology book. Shits not that hard

exercise and diet will work. if you really want to you can buy diet crap.

in the morning i ate a granola bar and coffee, lunch a sandwich, whatever mom made me for dinner. this is from a cripple i use a walker to walk.

>Just read
what?

>read
read
>reed
red

>what?

are you in first grade?

How do I get my shit to not smell like I ate a month old buffalo carcass? Also, How do I gain weight when I’ve been in the 120’s range for more than 5 years?

Doctor assisted amputation?

Nicotine and caffeine, other stimulants help too, but the most useful ones require a perscription or are illegal.
Also look into nootropics, they're legal drugs/ supplements that can help you in a variety of ways. I would look into weight loss ones (obviously), and modivation boosters to help you with self control in terms of your diet. Nootropicsdepot.com is the website I use to get them. Good luck.

Just do not eat and drink water. You neednt anything for this

OP here, so basically what I've learned from this is: Eat one meal every two days and drink a fuck ton of water