The PIANO PROFESSOR is in!

The PIANO PROFESSOR is in!
Taking your questions about MUSIC THEORY, PIANO, and SONGWRITING!

what's the best chord? and which chords should i stay away from?

>MUSIC THEORY
good one

My favorite chord is D flat major 7. but that's just me. Stay away from 13th chords they'll just get your ass confused.

why is Db major 7 better than other chords such as the classic E major 7?

how do i learn piano

get a piano

it sounds richer on the piano than e major. e major is a bright chord. d flat is dark and rich

try using Alfred's Adult All in One PIano books. They can help you teaach yourself piano very easily. You won't even need a teacher if you also get the companion CD.

do what i did. pay too much money on an overqualified teacher to drag your ass through a bunch of knowledge while you retain half of it never practice then ask them for help on your shitty prog revival music and waste money. i can play the instrument but i have such shitty unsustainable right hand technique that is much harder to correct than to just learn right the first time. don't be like me!

what is shitty prog revival music and why are you playing it on piano

What is the maximum weight I can be at and still play the piano competently

OP here. I weigh 300 lbs and i play just fine. it's not about weight, it's about technique

Question 1: How do you label chords with diminished 4ths and/or 3rds in them? e.g. D, F, A, Gb or B, Db, F#, A
Question 2: How do chords such as: E, B, F or Db, Ab, G function within the respective keys E minor and Db without context? And how would you label them?
Question 3: How does the progression Dmmaj7 -> A7 -> Cm -> Fm -> F#m6/3 -> C#74/2 -> G76/5 -> A7 function in D?

1: add dim 4
2: the only way to tell how chords are functioning in a key they don't belong in IS to look at the context. And usually they are labelled as secondary chords such as V/IV or vii/IV etc.
3: I7-V7-bvii-biii-iii-VII2-IV65-V7
IF YOU DISAGREE SEND ME YOUR ANSWERS

How do I learn and master the secrets of impressionist harmony? What are some tips?

recognize that the composer (i assume debussy, ravel) is often using alternate scales, such as the whole tone scale.

what are the best materials for learning and practicing to read music and sight reading?

A mutton bone would do

alfred's all in one adult series books are great for learning an practicing. With sight reading, always make sure the music is on an easier level than what you are used to working --- you should be working with music that you can play fairly well the first time you are looking at it. This will develop your sight reading skills and give you a sense of accomplishment. what are you currently playing? will make a difference in what you should be sight reading. for instance if you play sonatas regularly, then you should be playing sonatinas as sight reading

So you're a piano professor, huh? Name the notes used in +V/ii in Db major.

I'll bet you you can't

well let's try.. an augmented V of ii in Db
Bb, D, F#